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The Associated Press reports:

A state lawmaker from Wenatchee says he’ll introduce legislation to name Aplets & Cotlets the official candy of Washington. Rep. Mike Armstrong says the powdered sugar covered cubes of nuts and apple and apricot gelatin have been made by Liberty Orchards in Cashmere since 1920. He says they are made from Washington fruit and identify the state to confection lovers worldwide. The bill is likely to revive the battle with backers of Almond Roca. In 2001 a state candy bill was introduced to crown the crunchy chocolate almond treat made by Brown & Haley in Tacoma since 1912. It failed to pass.

This is fucking bullshit. Despite looking like the contents of a cat box, Almond Roca kicks Aplets & Cotlets’ grody punishment-candy ass. Register your fury with Rep. Mike Armstrong here.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

62 replies on “This Cannot Stand”

  3. Oh man . . . Aplets & Cotlets make my stomache roil. How can something that seems so innocuous be so disgusting in reality? Does anybody who still has their own teeth and doesn’t have grandchildren even eat these things?

  4. A hilarious old-school throwdown. I haven’t even seen a box of either one since 1992. Aplets and Cotlets are weird, and my grandma’s friend who was VP of Brown & Haley was really nice to me when I was a kid. Almond Roca for the win!

    No, wait, we have to ask Clark Humphrey. And the Museum of History and Industry.

  11. Aplets and Cotlets are terrific. It’s just Turkish Delight, people. You should get out more. Try the rose-flavored ones (turkish delight, not A&C) if you ever get a chance. I love Almond Roca too, though. My vote for State Candy is Round-Up Candy Cigarettes (not made here, but who the fuck cares?)

  12. I love Aplets and Cotlets, tho it’s an acquired taste. And they do use locally sourced ingredients, apples right there from Cashmere and surrounds.

    But holy cow, try the new Cashew Roca. Killer. Oof.

  15. Apples and Apricots are however a WA product unlike Almonds and Rocas. Also it has to be consistent with our other rather humdrum state symbols, including petrified wood as the state gem.

  17. Aplets and Cotlets is the quintessential Washington candy. Sugary sweet on the outside but completely bland and flavorless on the inside, and full of nuts.

  18. Aplets & Cotlets are not so yummy, I agree, but the “new” “appealing to kids” sour versions are pretty good. It’s true that A&C are basically just Turkish Delight, though, so you can make them more exciting by imagining that they were given to you by an evil witch and will basically turn you into a villain.

  26. @16, let’s start small by first recognizing the grey sea salt caramel as the official candy of the fin-de-siecle Pike-Pine Promenade. Though someday its appeal may broaden to encompass all of our fair state, I’m not going to hold my (oddly-scented) breath.

  29. This Christmas someone gave my parents a box of special edition candy-cane Frangos and they effectively CHANGED MY LIFE with their delicious creamy minty chocolate wonder. Frango FTW!

    And yall are correct that A&Cs are horrible…so thank the devil that at least you didn’t have to go on a fucking factory tour as a kid in Eastern WA like my brothers and I. It was even more boring than you’d imagine and with no fun candy at the end.

    Also, fuck that stupid colonial village shit in Ephrata or Soap Lake or wherever.

  30. Yes. Fran’s Grey Salt Caramels for State Candy. And Fran’s Smoked Salt Caramels for Vice-Candy (second-best but not by much, only because the chocolate is milk).

  32. Fran’s smoked grey paprika extra lavender virgin salt whatever caramels are like $3 each, right? A&C were just $3 a box at Bartells. $3 for a WHOLE BOX, people! That’s change I can believe in. Though Fnarf’s right, the Turks do make it better.
    Actually, you all can keep all of it if I get dibs on the crunchy sesame things that Joyva makes. In Brooklyn.

  34. Everyone knows that Washington’s snack food is Beefalo Jerky.

    It’s lean, it’s mean, it’s green.

    And at one-twentieth the methane, it’s part of a well-bio-oiled fighting machine!

  37. almond roca looks like a cat box special, but they aren’t the nastiest or tastiest brown & haley concoction, that has to go to the turd lookin mountain bars, which are nummy as hell and get my vote

  38. Aplets and Cotlets is “Washington, My Home” to Almond Roca’s “Loui, Loiu”. This time, let’s hope the deserving party wins.

    Also, since when are either of those things CANDY? 1915? Those are both FOOD, and I will eat them for dinner given the chance.

  46. Regardless of how you feel about Aplets & Cotlets (I happen to love them), I don’t understand why you would get all up in Armstrong’s grill about this. The man is a rep from WENATCHEE; of course he’s happy to sponsor a bill that promotes apples and apricots. Doing anything less would be a tremendous disservice to his constituency. Sheesh.

  47. I don’t think any state should have an official state candy.

    That said, I grew up in Seattle, and haven’t lived there for 18 years and I absolutely adore Aplets & Cotlets. I like them better than other versions of Turkish Delight (a.k.a. locum). I had some shipped to myself fairly recently, and, unfortunately, my spouse (who didn’t like them the first time he tried them), has developed a taste for them and has not developed self control. They are much better fresh, so, as much as I dislike extra packaging, the 2 applets and 2 cotlets packaged together is my new favorite thing to buy for myself.

  48. As a mental-fantasy state representative from Issaquah, I nominate Boehm’s Chocolates for State Candy. That duke HIKED out of Nazi Germany ACROSS the Alps into SWITZERLAND, motherfuckers!

  49. @47, no, no, Will In Seattle has already spoken on the subject of Aplets and Cotlets vs. Turkish Delight, and pronounced them inferior — as inferior as Spam is to tri-tip steak in fact. That settles it.

    Although I should point out that Will In Seattle’s head is completely full of rancid fart gas — methyl mercaptan — and everything he says is either irrelevant, wrong, or both, so, you know, use your own judgement.

  50. This douchebag Republican is so happy with Gregoire’s budget that he thinks the budget debate will be over in a snap.

    Fucking asshat douchebag!

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