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Run, don’t walk, to the liquor store!

From the Seattle Times:

State workers are scrambling to fix a distribution problem that has crimped the flow of alcohol to customers across the state, as liquor stores and restaurants are gearing up for one of the busiest weekends of the year….

Dozens of “temporarily out of stock” signs dot the shelves of some state liquor stores, and store managers say they’re not sure when their complete product line will again be available.

State officials blame the difficulties on a glitch in a new software system that controls the movement of 18,000 cases of liquor a day through the state’s distribution center on East Marginal Way South in Seattle.

…the software problem has been corrected, but the system is still dealing with a backlog of orders, while trying to meet the increased demand that comes with the Fourth of July holiday.

This is completely un-American. Capitalism exists to prevent such things from happening! Our state is an embarrassment! In California, people will be skipping into Safeway in the middle of the night to buy more booze to go with their Roman candles, and where will we be? Up no-liquor creek, paddleless. IT IS TIME TO END THE MADNESS: PRIVATIZE LIQUOR SALES IN WASHINGTON.

Photo by mraaronmorris from The Stranger‘s flickr pool.

42 replies on “Today in Unbelievably Stupid: Statewide Fourth of July Booze Shortage”

  1. Every once in a while I’ll have a “Goddamn living in California can be awesome” moment. Sometimes it’s riding my bike through a closed-to-cars Golden Gate park to Ocean Beach, or maybe it’s enjoying the best burrito on earth for under $6… but nothing quite brings it home like the my roommate texting me “MAKERS MARK ON SALE DWNTOWN RITE-AID”

    I always feel so dirty… er, not dirty, so… MEDICAL… buying booze at a state liquor store.

  2. I totally agree: why can’t grocery stores just stock liquor? You could still limit the number and locations of stores that can sell liquor, if you want. But take University Village, for instance: what difference does it make having the liquor sold by QFC or by the state liquor store next door?

    The state can still tax liquor, but it can get out of the distribution business.

    Another plus: we’d be able to get much better liquor since grocery stores would compete. Right now, for instance, if want Aquavit, there are only one or two brands for sale state-wide when in fact there are dozens available, many better than what the state orders. Same for Calvados, various brandies, etc.

    Why doesn’t Tim Eyman do a refrendum on this? It’s a rare issue that left and right would agree on, and he’d finally have a successful referendum to notch into his log.

  3. Yeah, Washington’s liquor sales thing is all kinds of stupid. After I climbed Rainier last summer, we were staying in a small town, far from a liquor store. I can’t drink beer, and, well, I was planning on drinking a “celebratory” amount of alcohol, which I don’t like to do with wine… I was bummed, and cursed your silly laws…

    I’m even annoyed by Oregon’s practice that grocery stores can’t sell liquor, it has to be a separate store. In Chicago, I could do all my bbq/party shopping at one place, I didn’t have to make a separate stop.

    Anyways, thanks for the reminder that I need to stop at the liquor store soon (I’m planning on using up all the mint in our herb garden via mojitos this weekend, so if anyone has a good recipe, let me know).

  4. Could be worse; could be Pennysylvania – now there’s a state with some fucked up liquor laws.

    Or, apparently, Texas.

    And what’s even better about CA is that there are places (or at least there used to be) that will DELIVER BOOZE TO YOUR HOME! You don’t even have to drunk-drive to the Liquor Barn or wherever when you run out! Just call ’em up, and they’ll bring it to you.

    Now that is what I call civilized.

  5. I always have a fully stocked cabinet for such emergencies. I learned that from Stephanie Miller! I’ll be just fine this weekend.

  6. WOW! That’s pretty sad. In the land of the free and home of the brave, we can’t “booze it” properly on the day the out shines christmas debauchery. Even sadder, I have to report to the PEOPLE a note so sadly overlooked in VOL. 18 June 25-July 1, 2009. I mean, since we are on the topic of “UNVBELIEVABLY STUPID ACCORDING TO THE SEATTLE STRANGER, SEATTLE’s ONLY NEWSPAPER” God forbid, and less we forget the BELOVED ACRONYM that stands for THE SEATTLE STRANGERS view on MARTIN LUTHER KING. Oh yes dears, The SEATTLE STRANGER puts high regard on the way MARTIN LUTHER KING felt that day of his death, oh wait, the day he was killed, oh, wait the day he was murdered, oh wait the day his face was blown half off, YES! The Seattle Stranger is the only paper who knows that MARTIN LUTHER KING not only wanted to be banged on a the balcony, but he liked it!
    Yes, the Seattle Stranger has even coined a clever acronym in his honorable balcony event. You want to know what that is, I will tell you, it’s even marketed to the homosexual community of “bottoms.” Well, MLQ by definition of THE SEATTLE STRANGER, Page 9, Vol 18, June 25-July 1, 2009, specifically, “KWEER KWIZ KORNER,”
    ‘MARTIN LUTHER QUEEN, slang for a gay bottom who gets banged on a hotel balcony.” OOPS my bad…it doesn’t express if any one liked getting banged on the balcony…well..oh well….we can assume, right? My question is why is the MLQ a bottom? Oh and another thing we all think some fucked up shit, and there is that freedom of speech thing…so…my fight and disgust is with the EDITORS OF THE SEATTLE STRANGER. “WHAT IF A QUEER PERSON OF COLOR WROTE THE CLEVER ACRONYM?” NOPE, still wrong. It’s not a RACE issue. It’s FLAT OUT WRONG. IF this was written in any PAPER other than SEATTLE ONLY PAPER, THE STRANGER, DAN SAVAGE ( I love name dropping) would have been on ANDERSON COOPER in a heartbeat….or some megaphone burning and boycotting at some local night spot on the ‘HILL. There would have been a big ad in THE SEATTLE STRANGER to come together and show support in OUR COLLECTIVE EFFORTS TO FIGHT STUPIDITY…

    ENOUGH! EDITORS RESIGN! GO to California regroup! and stop being stupid! You know better! Put you cleverness to good work, and speaking of work, work out your demons and get back to being fucking progressive. WE DID NOT COME THIS FAR JUST TO BE BETTER OFF WHERE WE WERE.

    I tell you, there are people who don’t want the queer lifestyle to exist, who wouldn’t dare write that fucking acronym. It’s bad enough to be and live who we are, without having continued bullshit postings that fence such insults. MLQ, really!? You could have taken a heroic route! WHAT THE FUCK SEATTLE STRANGER?

    you can reach me at devo.lang@gmail.com

    if you care to publicly discuss this MLQ thing.

    Thanks.

  7. Louisiana — Drive through liquor stores with various alcoholic frothy drinks handed to you through the driver’s side window. It’s not an open container unless it’s got a straw in it.

    THAT’S a state with good liquor laws!

  8. Idiotic! There is no reason why we shouldn’t be able to purchase liquor at Safeway and Costco. Maybe this is a perfect time to push for privatizing liquor sales.

  9. I love it when the Stranger gets all conservative.

    You mean, every single one of BJC’s posts?

    Our state is an embarrassment! In California,

    Case in point: California has banned foie gras, veal crates, sow gestation crates, and hen battery cages. Conservative mainstream newspapers, the Republican governor, and popular opinion all supported these measures. Colorado, Oregon, Arizona, and the entire European Union have also passed some or all of these measures.

    Here in Washington, the food editor for the most progressive alternative newspaper in the most progressive city in the state actively oppose these progressive measures, and pushes for more and more food deregulation.

    If you were just to look at Bethany Jean Clement’s posts, you’d think Slog was a radical right-wing Glenn Beck fan club blog.

  10. the state employee labor unions make the state democratic party leaders oppose privatization of the state liquor stores.

  11. @13 Colorado has drive-through liquor stores too! I don’t know that they’d sell you an alcoholic drink, though. Oh, the hilarity…

    The last time I was drinking in Texas, I was in Dallas, and I vaguely remember having to ring a doorbell at a bar, be let in by the bouncer (the door was locked), pay $1 to join their “private club”, and sign the “membership registry”. My friend mumbled something about liquor laws… I was amused…

  12. California also has an enormous state income tax, and cannot pass a legal budget. If state run liquor distribution helps avoid these things, I’m willing to put up with this.

  13. #20 makes a valid and reasonable point.

    Put down the Pabst, you whiny hipsters, and drink the local nectars.

    Don’t like beer?… if you’re not grown up enough to keep your liquor cabinet stocked properly, maybe you should just go steal some liquor from your mommy and daddy.

  14. @19 – I moved to California almost 2 years ago. Even with an income and a sales tax, I pay less in taxes than I did living in Seattle, and everything down here is fucked-up x1000 compared to the situation in good ol’ Warshington.

    The tax structure & funding plan in this state is so fucked up, I can’t even begin to tell you.

    And the booze selection in most stores is all middle-of-the-road liquor. For the good stuff, you still have to go to a specialty store. Same with wine & beer.

  15. #22: RE: “Stocked properly” — An abundance of all known goods on our store shelves is what separates us from Soviet Russia. We shouldn’t have to hoard booze in the face of a hypothetical alcopocalypse, especially nearing the 4th of July.

  16. if it weren’t for the state liquor monopoly we’d have scandinavians lining our gutters from ballard to poulsbo. they simply can’t be trusted with unregulated access to liquor.

  17. @24: I buy a whole week of groceries at a time. That’s not “hoarding” nor does it have anything to do with communism.

    If you think waiting until you’re out of something before buying more of it makes you a better American, good for you.

  18. @5: Julie, I lived in Nicaragua for two years, where the rum is cheap and the limes are cheaper, and have a PhD in mojitos. Here’s what ya do:

    2 shots of white rum
    Juice from 1 1/2 of those big limes (Costco is a great place for these)
    A shitload of mint – spearmint works best, ’cause it’s mintiest
    A hearty amount of sugar, like maybe 1/3 cup or even 1/2, depending on how limey the limes are

    Put the above in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake the hell out of it until it makes a nice slurry. Pour into a cup and then top off with maybe half an inch of club soda.

    If you’re making mojitos for a boatload of people, I’d follow the above proportions and just increase ’em accordingly, but I’d substitute sugar syrup (which you can make yourself by simmering 1 part sugar to 1 part water for 4-5 minutes) for the sugar slurry, ’cause you won’t be able to put a shitload of mojito juice into a shaker. Just combine all your ingredients in a pitcher, adding sugar syrup to taste, and you’ll be set.

    And if you’re ever in Spokane, god help you, you’re welcome to come by my house and get a spearmint start. That shit is taking over my garden.

  19. My life is sooooo hard! I didn’t plan for my 4th of July liquor stash so we should privatize! Privitize! Privitize! Because that’s the answer to everything, well except for health care, then I think the government is awesome.

  20. Thanks TVDinner! Or should I say Dr. Mojito. Yeah, I hear you with the “spearmint is taking over my garden” thing – we have an enormous patch, and the only thing I can think to use it for in mass quantities is mojitos (and mint juleps). I will take your advice on making the sugar syrup, because I’ll be making at least a few pitchers, I’m sure. Do you muddle the mint first before you shake it up?

  21. Oh, and to others, having a fully stocked liquor cabinet does not mean that you are necessarily prepared to throw a party. I may have a stocked liquor cabinet (, but if we’re having a party, I guarantee I’m going to need to go out and buy more alcohol. Having enough liquor on hand at all times to entertain 20+ people just seems a little ridiculous.

    Case in point – I have a mostly full bottle of rum in the cabinet right now, but since I signed on to be the mojito-maker at our July 4th BBQ, I’m going to need to buy at least a couple of bottles for sure.

  22. @23 My comment comes from moving here from California, and I had the opposite experience. Of course there are a lot of factors there… California’s a big state and property tax and sales tax vary greatly by area, but even if my property tax and sales tax rose here, there was no way they were combining to even approach the nearly 10% state income tax I was paying there.

  23. @27, you use a HALF CUP of sugar for TWO SHOTS of liquor? That’s crazy, man. Two shots isn’t even enough for one drink.

    DEATH TO THE WSLCB.

  24. @30, the best rum drink is as follows: fill an old-fashioned glass with ice cubes, then pour four ounces of rum. Serve. Best with Appleton Reserve, Mount Gay, or Bacardi Añejo, but Myers’s, or any gold or dark rum, will do in a pinch.

  25. Fnarf – I was thinking that sounded like a lot of sugar. I’d read a spoonful of powdered sugar per drink… but, if I do the simple syrup thing in a pitcher, I can just keep tasting till I get it right…

    By the by, I’m not really a serious rum drinker (I prefer whiskey), so your recipe might not work for me (I do like Appleton, though)… I think my “rum palate” was ruined by a bottle I bought in India a few years ago called Old Monk. It had “X X X” on the label. Seriously.

  26. No, Fnarf, you need 1/3 to 1/2 a cup of sugar to balance out the lime juice, man. That shit is TART. Tarter than you are. Tarter than sauce. Tarter than…

    Ok, I’ll stop.

    And yeah, Julie, if you wanna muddle the mint first, go crazy. Especially if you’re making pitchers full.

    Dammit, I wish I weren’t fucking pregnant right now.

  27. @ 20 & 22 Yeah! Good call! Your local brewery probably sells beer to go in 1/2 gallon containers (a growler), so even if the brewery doesn’t bottle their beers, you can take it home with minimal cost and fuss. Or better yet, buy a keg for your celebration! Who wants fizzy yellow rice water (Pabst/Bud/etc.) when they can have real ales (while providing good jobs for local people). Have a good 4th, everyone.

  28. @39:

    Man, I tried that yesterday, but Big Time wouldn’t sell me a gallon jug of cask-strength tromdipulator. Something about going blind? Bullshit.

  29. IT IS TIME TO END THE MADNESS: PRIVATIZE LIQUOR SALES IN WASHINGTON.

    Yeah, the State will get right on that 😛 Because cutting a revenue source is a top priority for a state with a multi-billion dollar deficit.

    That said, this reeks of obstinate, obstructionist stupidity by the WSLCB. It’s likely the glitch happened a long, long time ago, and they knowingly never fixed it because they somehow think that cutting the flow of liquor to the populace will stop people from drinking, especially in a recession. Right.

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