I should really set up a Google Alert for “feces.” Or maybe “covered in feces.”

fecesincident.jpgMan Covered In Feces Attacks Flight Attendant

Passengers said the man left the plane’s bathroom covered in his own waste on the Dec. 26 flight.

The commuter jet had one flight attendant, who moved passengers forward to empty seats and kept the unkempt passenger in the back row.

Stacey, a passenger on the plane who requested her last name not be revealed, said the man attacked the flight attendant.

“I hear all of this ruckus and yelling,” she said. “I turned around and the poor flight attendant is on his back and the guy is, like, punching him.”

Stacey said other passengers came to the flight attendant’s aid.

“It’s almost like a scene out of a movie,” Stacey said.

Yes. Almost like Air Force Feces. Snakes (and Feces) on a Plane. Soul Plane 2: It’s Feces Time, Son!.

Also, I would like to point out the accompanying weird, blurry photograph of the exterior of a plane. Is it the actual feces plane? Amazing.

Thanks, Melissa & Meags

Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more....

19 replies on “Today in Feces”

  3. So many missing details …

    Was the man covered in shit because the lavatory malfunctioned? Or, did he just go insane and have a shit smearing outburst?

    Because, if it was the lavatory’s fault, and the flight attendant was less than sympathetic (or even accusatory), then he might have deserved to get punched.

  4. @3,

    An investigation is under way to figure out why a mental health patient was traveling alone on a Continental Airlines flight from Houston to Omaha…

    I’m thinking the feces smearing was intentional.

  7. Part of the safety demonstration before takeoff should include information on the best marshal arts technique to immobilized an irate passenger. Of course hand-to-hand combat know-how doesn’t necessarily instill the courage to confront the Poo Monster, but the skies would at least be safe from Peter Buck’s and Nichole Richie’s.

  10. You know, for the new year, I promised not to correct incorrectly spelled words like “martial”, @7.

    But Sam M for the win @8.

  11. #10 – No, no, no, I see where you got confused. I’m not speaking of Karate or Kung Fu, but rather the deadly techniques developed by the eponymous Penny Marshal after she experienced numerous forced entries into her Milwaukee first floor apartment by greasy, and horny, street toughs.

  14. You’d have to be mentally ill to be visiting Omaha. Even crazier to actually live there.

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