These days I find everything about Tom Cruise to be so incredibly annoying that I cannot value a film in which he appears. Even though Tom is popular with older folks (like Goldy), I suspect I am not alone in this sentiment. Maybe it’s the whole Scientology thing, or maybe it’s just that the man simply seethes with insecurity. I really love post-apocalyptic movies, but because Tom Cruise is in it, I can’t get excited about Oblivion. Naturally, this bit of musing facilitates the need for a scientifically and legally binding Slog Poll™.

Grant Brissey covered everything from hard news and technology, to music, film, and visual arts during his time working for The Stranger. Grant's work has also appeared at Geekwire, and in Billboard,...