59 replies on “Try to Contain Your Shock”

  4. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…

    …

    …hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

  9. I still wish somebody would go up to the North Slope and find out if the union dudes up there went Code Red on his ass and forced him to hightail it out of there for using his connections to leapfrog over actual qualified apprentice candidates. Why would he quit such a sweet gig unless it became untenable?

  10. This is the second intelligent thing Bristol has done in a month (the first being admitting that “abstinence-only” doesn’t work). There may be hope for her yet.

  12. i wish both young parents well. may they raise their child to be a far-left liberal socialist.

    i wish the MSM & the GOP ill. once again, the MSM enabled the GOP to skate through an election issue that plainly revealed their hypocrisy in stark relief (the other was Mary Cheney) by making the macro issue micro – about the individual’s right to privacy (despite the public life of their parent) rather than discrimination against gays, the absurdity of abstinence-only sex education, out of wedlock teenage parents, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

    and yes, Star Magazine. a direct quote is a direct quote.

  13. “Levi’s sister Mercede” — are ALL the Johnson children named after consumer brands? Does he have another sister named Dorito by any chance?

  14. Once again, reality intrudes on the conservative fantasy that pregnant teenagers can be forced to stay with their boyfriends and still end up happily ever after.

  15. @6. Yes, it’s sad that Tripp must now be taken away from them and placed with a straight couple. But, them’s the breaks, when you believe that the ideal is for every kid to have a mother and a father.

  19. “…Bristol even told [Levi] that she hates him and, when she learned she was pregnant, wished the baby wasn’t his…”

    So not only was she not abstinent, but she was catting around enough to make that wish a real possibility?

  25. Let’s see, a month ago, Bristol referred to Levi as a “hands on dad” in an interview. But now, according to Star magazine, they’ve broken up. And you’re running with this as news, ECB? Star magazine!?!?

  28. I’m forever ecstatic that my youthful, ill-conceived love did not involve any siring. Good luck to these kids and their modern American family.

  32. @27, common? Really? Name one.

    Mercedes McCambridge (with an “s”) doesn’t count — her name wasn’t Mercede and she wasn’t before cars existed.

    Mercy in French is “merci” or “miséricorde”. I don’t think Mercedes is a French word or name, though I could be wrong, and Mercedes is not Mercede.

  35. The tragedy in all this is the millions of young women who are given Abstinence Only educations, knocked up, and made to feel forced to have the kid. Most of them DON’T have the economic means to avoid marrying the first dumbfuck to wander through the door, unlike Bristol.

    They just get a lifetime of mediocrity, frustration and failed dreams.

  36. I can’t believe I’m not feelin’ the schadenfreude, but while we may despise Bristol’s parents, in interview after interview, she and Levi have shown that they’re apparently decent people that got caught up in a nasty mess. My best wishes to both, and I hope they’re able to stay out of the news, since no 18 year-olds should have to deal with that.

    PS: OMG Levi, call me!!

  38. 32,

    It’s Spanish in origin. Merced and Mercede are to Mercedes as Kate and Kathy are to Katherine.

    I’m from a part of the country with lots of Spanish influence, so I knew a few Mercedes growing up. As far as famous people, here is what Wikipedia lists:

    Mercedes de Acosta (1893–1968), poet and socialite
    Mercedes Bresso (born 1944), Italian politician
    Mercedes Calderón (born 1965), Cuban volleyball player
    Mércédès Jellinek (1889–1929), the namesake for Mercedes-Benz automobiles
    Mercedes Lackey (born 1950), fantasy author
    Mercedes Lander, drummer for Canadian alt-metal band Kittie
    Mercedes McCambridge (1916–2004), actress
    Mercedes McNab (born 1980), Canadian-born actress
    Mercedes of Orléans (1860 – 1878), queen consort of Spain.
    Mercedes Peris (born 1985), Spanish backstroke swimmer
    Mercedes, Princess of Asturias (1880–1904), Spanish royal
    Mercedes Ruehl (born 1948), U.S. actress
    Mercedes Sosa (born 1935), Argentine singer
    Mercédesz Stieber (born 1974), Hungarian water polo player
    Mercedes Yvette (born 1981), fashion model & actress
    Mercedes (rapper), a R&B and hip-hop singer.

  41. And Britney Spears gratefully relinquishes her Trailer Mom of the Year award to the new Queen.

    But seriously, you gotta feel a little bit sorry for the poor dumb kids. With parents like that, what chance did they have NOT to fuck up?

  46. “Levi’s sister Mercede” — are ALL the Johnson children named after consumer brands?

    Considering that Mercedes was the daughter of German entrepreneur Emil Jellinek, and Levi made a fortune out of denim workwear, perhaps all the Johnson kids were named after famous German Jews.

  49. @45: Online sources claim “Mercede” is a variant of “Mercedes.” Take that for what you will. The origin of the name is Spanish.

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