I’m currently seated next to Paul Constant on a bench outside the Bank of America plaza, surrounded by protesters that have been chanting “We Are the 99 Percent” for a good four minutes now. But I’ve gotta say, I’m underwhelmed. Not due to a lack of participation, organization, or sheer nerve to jaywalk, but simply because of the lackluster—and unsustainable—lack of projection from the gathering.
Fortunately, as an opera-singer-in-training, I’ve got a few handy tips to offer on how to project your voice while keeping it in good shape to keep going for days, and shout louder to boot!
1. Above all, it’s most important to take a nice, deep breath. This means that you should take your time between chants, even skipping a round if necessary. A proper breath should involve little input from facial muscles, and you should feel a stretching sensation on the sides of your lower back.
2. Don’t strain your larynx. This is where you feel sore after a baseball game/concert/Obama rally. Combat this by actively engaging your diaphragm. You’ll expend a little effort around your abs, yes, but this part of your body is designed to take the strain of active democracy.
3. Resonate using a yawning sensation in the back of your throat, while focusing your sound forward. This might sound a little convoluted, but hey—it’s no more convoluted than $60 annually for the right to use your Bank of America debit card.
I hope you’ve learned something today. I love you all!
Well, at least they aren’t jaywalking, that’s one good thing about these wannabe protestors.
Don’t forget to cup the balls
Even as a liberal, I’ve gotta say your classification of a BofA debit card as a right makes me want to puke, on many levels.