Dow Silky Swoop Constantine (right) in our SECB endorsement meeting.

  • SECB
  • Dow “Silky Swoop” Constantine (right) in our SECB endorsement meeting.

During his first term, Dow Constantine and his swoop of silky hair guided the county through recession-era budget cuts by fixing structural financial problems and investing in upgrades—including new technology systems for data entry and payroll (he’s got some talented hair). Constantine’s bland personality also makes him suited for building bipartisan coalitions, like the ones he helped assemble to fix the South Park Bridge. Constantine occasionally takes a swan dive into a soupy pile of shit—censoring Metro bus ads, for example—but he’s proven himself a competent manager. Alan Lobdell is a civil engineer with no political experience (and unimpressive hair) running on a vague platform to improve “customer service” within government. Vote for Constantine.

Read the rest of our non-hair-related endorsements right here!


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