I’m willing to bet that you—yes, you, right there—would find better use for twenty million dollars than whatever the fuck the Rick Perry campaign did with it:

Though he raised more than $20 million overall during 2011, Perry raised less than $2.9 million of that amount between Oct. 1 and Dec. 31, federal records indicate, as disastrous debate performances and plummeting poll numbers crippled his fundraising efforts.

Perry’s campaign had more than $15 million cash on hand in early October. By the year’s end, that dwindled to less than $3.77 million.

Basically, they could have given around $50 to everyone who voted in New Hampshire and Iowa. I bet they would have had much better results if they did just that. It’s hard to overstate what a colossal, magnificent failure the Rick Perry campaign turned out to be.

16 replies on “What Would You Do with Twenty Million Dollars?”

  1. I think that’s what happens when you hop into the race just for fun, just ’cause you felt like it, rather than because you know what you’re doing or you’re actually good at being vaguely presidential.

  2. I like to think that when Rick Perry gets home and closes the door and he’s finally alone, he magically turns back into the ghost of Liberace. ‘Merica just wasn’t ready for that.

  3. Basically, they could have given around $50 to everyone who voted in New Hampshire and Iowa.

    I believe this may even be legal – it’s illegal to pay people to vote your way, but it is legal to pay people for having voted, and even to pay people for having voted contingent on the election going your way. That at least was the theory behind a coalition of Washington State tribes about fifteen years ago, when they offered to pay every person who’d voted in a referendum if said referendum passed, approving increased casino-style gambling. The referendum didn’t pass, but their gambit was seen at the time as being legal (if disreputable).

  4. Nope, that’s pretty much exactly what I would do with that much money. Difference is I’d poll better and make for a more entertaining debate.

  5. If the “job creators” are so burdened with taxes that they can’t afford to hire any more workers, how is it they’re able to donate millions to political campaigns?

  6. With $20 million, I can guarantee you I’d never see another winter or another dawn I didn’t stay up for. Those are my goals in life: always summer, always cocktail hour.

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