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…should a coconut crab pinch you and hold fast, according to the Micronesians of the Line Islands:
It may be interesting to know that in such a dilemma a gentle titillation of the under soft parts of the body with any light material will cause the crab to loose its hold.
You are welcome.
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
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Something worse than snow. Thank you.
I’d like to think dousing it with rum would do the trick, aswell.
MMMMMMMM Crabilacaladas……..
I just scratched the Line Islands off my list of travel destinations.
OMG I want to eat one of those for Christmas dinner! YUMMY!
I <3 Lindy’s posts.
Is that creature for reals?
They taste amazing. I had one several years ago in the South Pacific and they are SOOOO damn good.
Eeeeeek!
Coconut crabs aren’t really known for their “hold.” They’re known more for snapping your thumb like a pretzel stick.
When I look at that picture, all I want to do is kick and kick and kick and kick and kick until it’s all dead.
I masturbated in public for over 10 minutes before I realized that I was supposed to titillate the crab.
KIWF.
Thank you.
(could you imagine this thing if it moved as quick as a spider? Sweet dreams.)
Is that a real picture? Yikes!
I’m not afraid of spiders, but that thing is already giving me nightmares.
That would be the second thing. First thing would be to shout, as loud as possible, “HOLY FUCK”
if it’s on you, then you seriously have a bad case of crabs.
but in reality, seeing that makes me want to capture it, cook it, then have a feast on the crab meat. i’m sure it’s sweet
wisepunk wins the thread. BIG fire, I might add.
The second thing you do is dump it in a giant pot of boiling water. The third thing is melt some butter…
Imagine a roomful of them let loose…your room…some hang from the door handle …the windows are covered by several…here they come…closer…closer…they’re crawling over one another to get to….you
Fuck! Things with exoskeletons should be bigger than a cat.
Okay, gun nuts, you’re right: we all need motherfucking assault rifles stat. KILL! KILL! KILL! THESE! THINGS!
Lindy, think I have a totally non-sexual girl-crush on you.
Things like this are what armored pitbulls are for.
can’t you just lean some wet grass against yourself?
Children sometimes play with Coconut Crabs by placing some wet grass at an angle on a palm tree that contains a Coconut Crab. When the animal climbs down, it believes the grass is the ground, releases its grip on the tree, and subsequently falls.
Jesus Christ!!!!
I now firmly believe that giant spiders are possible. Where’s my AK-74 and my neighbors Pit bull.