My friends Jason and Richard stayed in and “rebooted.” (Sounds kinky.)
Lots of people left their homes for Honkfest and Hooterfest.
And Dan did this.

Holy crap! That’s the same agency that owns Oprah!

(Congratulations, you dazzlingly accomplished multitasker. Please proceed to take over the world. This is an order.)

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...