Hm…
Hi Mr. Savage: This is Kerim from Foot Patrol. We’re the world’s only foot fetish funk band. We’re from Austin and we’re coming to New York in early August: the 5th at Goodbye Blue Monday in Bushwick, 7th at Union Pool in Willimsburg, and the 8th at Highline Ballroom. I’m writing to see if you might be able to get us some kind of press that might attract the foot fetish community in NY. Our lead guy is blind and an amazing musician, so we’re not just a novelty act. Let me know if you think you could help us. Thank you!
I didn’t know that a blind lead singer—he’s the one with the foot fetish, according to the band’s website—was proof that a band wasn’t a novelty act. Live and learn. I can’t judge their music, though, because all of it was produced after 1970 and they don’t write showtunes. Anyone?
What does being a foot fetishist have anything to do with being a musician? Are all their songs about feet?
“Our lead guy is blind and an amazing musician, so we’re not just a novelty act.”
This is the funniest single sentence I have read all week.
@1: Maybe they’ll be doing a funk version of the soundtrack to Footloose
I dunno. Their “Smellabration” reminds me a little of “Someone in a Tree.”
Blind guy? Check.
Foot fetishist? Check.
But do they do klezmer?
If they don’t play barefoot, they’re posers 😀
Band meeting, May 2009:
DRUMMER: man, we can’t get any gigs! What gives?
BASSIST: the problem is, we just don’t stand out enough.
FRONTMAN: seriously? I’m fucking blind! how does that not stand out? When was the last time anyone saw a blind man do a backflip off a Peavey?
BASSIST: Frank, quit it with the blindness already – no one can tell you’re blind from the audience.
GUITARIST: (briefly conscious)…Where’sh mah baby’s feets at…lemme give a little shucky-shucky…
[silence]
GUITARIST: shweet little toeses…
DRUMMER: I think I’ve fucking got it.
I saw these guys play in Austin and it was an unforgettable show, the dancing, the gender bending, the 80’s synth parodies. and to #1, YES, a lot of their songs ARE about feet.
http://www.myspace.com/thefootpatrol to hear some of their music.
@7 well done, sir
@9 thanks for the link
oh. my. god. Chalk another one up for the glorious state of Texas. @1 Their songs are indeed all about feet. The Agony of DeFeet, Big Foot, Footography, Back Seat (what does that rhyme with, I wonder).
11 comments and not one Jeff Healey pun?
I loves me some sweet man’s feet. I’d love to lick his toes while he’s sings me a song!
Dammit Dan, now I want to see a broadway musical about foot fetishists. Thanks a lot for putting that image in my head.
I wonder if Sondheim would consider it?
I think when they say, “we are not a novelty act,” they mean, “We will suck your toes after the show.” Foot Patrol are hardcore Pedi-liberationists, and they are in it to win it. Also, they’re the best live band in the world.
Prepare to be blown away NYC. You ain’t seen nothing like Foot Patrol.
I saw them a few months ago in Austin, and they put on a great show. Here’s some footage I shot of their pitch-perfect version of Prince’s ‘Kiss,’ complete with creepy advances from one of the city’s many homeless crazies (you can’t see it in the footage, but he started humping my leg at some point).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1zwdgFxV…
I’ve seen them 3 times this year. They are awesome!!! They make me feel funny in all the right places!
Feet are the new brown.