We need your help solving an inter-office battle. Three behind-the-curve staffers finally have beards (now that they’re uncool again).

beard-finals.jpg

(Click photo to enlarge)

As always, these polls are legally binding.

Megan Seling is The Stranger's managing editor. She mostly writes about hockey, snacks, and music. And sometimes her dog, Johnny Waffles.

82 replies on “Whose Beard Is Better?”

  1. Nipper, your beard hides in the lighting and your flesh. Much like Spencer’s creepy flesh colored moustache and chin beard. You don’t want to be Spencer’s older bottom other half, do you?

  4. Nipper is quite the good-looking guy. But the neck beard needs to leave the room (without the good-looking guy it’s attached to).

  5. I’m back from the gym, where’s my beard-rubbing Frizzelle? Grant?

    Alright, that’s it, both of you are going to Slog Happy. This thing will happen.

  6. Jesus. Won’t the hipster beard thing finally end? They all look pathetic. Fast forward a year to the next hipster crave…clean shaven…until long hair comes back…then eye glasses…wash and repeat. Fucking hipsters.

  9. I voted for #2 because he doesn’t seem like he cares whether it looks cool or not. Also beards are icky so the more invisible the better.

    Coconut for best beard on the island YAY! Nice work matt@TMW!

  10. I was tempted to vote Mike as best beard, because he was the only one who didn’t lift his chin to exaggerate his beard. Unfortunately, neck beards really weird me out. If he shaves his neck, I’m totally pro-Mike.

  17. #29, the answer is Christopher Frizzelle by his own account. He covered this in an article he wrote. No photographic proof though. He looks much better without a beard.

  18. Frizzelle and Brissey are both sporting basic Ewoks. They look mostly harmless, but certainly unexciting. Nipper is going for something, and I think he mostly succeeds. None of the three is going in a gallery of great beards.

    Keep working gentlemen.

  19. Ugh. Brissey looks like a pretentious git. I can just see him stroking his beard in the mornings… fluffing it before he leaves for work. Also, for some reason, it strikes me as the beard of a tabletop gamer. Don’t really know why.

    I’d do the other two, though. Assuming they like women.

  28. @25 – What is the formal distinction between a Van Dyke and a goatee? I’m aware of both terms, but given how broadly you’re applying the former term, I suspect that what I’m currently calling a goatee (my wife likes it; I’ll have to shave for a show come November, but I’ll indulge her ’til then) might well be a Van Dyke.

    Tangential question–For whom is the Van Dyke named?

  29. Also–if the presence of a moustache is what makes the distinction, does one also distinguish between when the moustache connects with the beard and when it does not?

    It seems that there’s not a lot of agreement on these matters online.

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