This just in from Slog tipper Meagan:
I have found myself but mere feet away from the Schauf. I am so happy.
Lucky!!! Where are you, and what is the Schauf doing!?
I’m downtown volunteering for Treehouse and he is here setting that Macy’s star on fire or something. Dude, he doesn’t even have his Schaufstache!
Amazing!
He is being so wacky.
Fuck you, Brad Goode! Shut the fuck up!
Leave Brad Goode and his big pumpkin head alone.
Who?
Where the hell IS Adrian Ryan, anyways? Has there been an accident?
Adrian Ryan was eaten by PerezHilton and they both were eaten by Lindy West. Tragic accident.
God, being near him was a Christmas miracle. All y’alls is haterz because you were not Touched by the Schauf.
AND ALSO FUCK YOU BRAD GOODE YOU ARE A DOUCHE AND I HATE YOU SO BAD! YOU’LL NEVER GROW FACIAL HAIR AS GOOD AS SCHAUFSTACHE!
wow, I didn’t even know this stuff was a thing.
Stop saying “ZOMG”.
i ran into penny legate at a flag pavillion popcorn cart once.
Jeebuz, I guess some of you people would be shitting your pants about every day if you had my job…
I work at the Ballard Market and Schauffler came through my line. He was a dick.
I always thought that was Dennis Bounds.
when i worked at the seattle costco, steve pool would always come in. that bastard never returned his cart.
Big effin deal! I saw Susan Hutchinson at University Hospital in 1989. woo hoo