Have you not heard it yet? The very good news? Our honorable president Robert Mugabe says cholera is no more a problem. What does this mean for you and for me? It means it’s time to celebrate with a little Christmas shopping at the wonderful Strangercrombie. We must go right away because the shopping opportunities are about to die. Yes, everything dies. Why? Remember Tonderai? Gone. Just like that. Why?
Let’s not waste anymore time thinking about death. First, let us think about buying a Stranger Tote Bag or a calendar of the Ladies of Slog or Gentlemen of Slog. $20 will get us the tote bag and $50 will get us the calendar. Amazing, man! I have always wanted a calender of the ladies of the Slog. I hear they are like the ladies of Kwe Kwe. You know the ones; they work at the steel company. Those ladies have legs of iron.
To get these goodies, all we need to do is press this one button. America is so easy.
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/strangercrombie?page=cancel”>
My man, check this out. Mr. Schmader comes to our house and shows us that masterpiece Showgirls. And it’s not censored by the Zimbabwe Board of Decency! We will get to see everything like that!
Since 2000, David Schmader has enchanted audiences across the country with his annotated live screening of Paul Verhoeven’s notorious stripper drama Showgirls. The winner of this package gets a personal home screening of the film with Schmader, who’ll arrive bearing a gift from Piece of Mind! PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!
After watching those naked ladies dancing, we should clean our minds with the soap of high art.
Got questions about Edward Hopper? Want someone to explain the latest in contemporary art at First Thursday? Tour the gallery or museum of your choice with the knowledgeable, gregarious, and never-snooty Jen Graves. PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!
My, my, look at this!
Give a woman in your life a gift from Aurora Medical Services. Want to prevent a pregnancy? Give some unmatable male this “I love beer” hat and a goofy white-guy Afro wig from Sugartown Vintage—he’ll never get laid again. PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!
It all reminds of that joke. You know the one. Must I say it again? Well, it goes like this: An official from the Ministry of Health arrived at Mr. Moyo’s house and told him he had fathered too many children too quickly. He needed to learn the plan of child spacing. Mr. Moyo agreed to learn such a plan. Pleased, the official shook Mr. Moyo’s hand and went back to his office. Job well done! Five years later, the health official returned to Mr. Moyo’s house in a hurry and said that his records showed he had fathered six more children in a row. Why was he not practicing the plan of child spacing? But Mr. Moyo told the health official that he was. He had a child in Mutare, another in Harare, another Gweru, and the rest in Bulawayo. So, what’s the problem? Maiwaaaaaay! That’s a good one.
good joke.
entertaining post, charles. the flamers are surely stunned at the moment.
more posts in zimbabwe english!
even in still photos gina gershon totally upstages liz berkley. poor liz, she never had a chance.