READINGS

THURSDAY 12/21

DOUGLAS SHUDER

Shuder will be reading from his latest collection of poems, To Enter the Stillness. (Here is a sample of his verse, from the poem “The Change”: “Thin November light/ Dissembler, of bright dawns that spawn/ Brief, brittle days/ Sharp November wind and rain/ Shaving earth’s scruff to stubble/ Unmasking the leaner face/ In this barbering/ Shoreline, hillcrest, grace of trees/ Are by reduction clarified/ Soon, flesh shall be pared, the white bone bared.“) Susan Strick, a Celtic harpist, will provide musical interludes during Shuder’s recitation. Which brings to mind the time I saw Ray Manzarek provide musical interludes (i.e. overly emotive noise) during a reading by beatnik asshole Michael McClure, way back when I was a sophomore at the University of Washington. It was the most outrageously pretentious and galling piece of crap I’d ever witnessed in my life, and it turned me permanently against both McClure and Manzarek. And what really got me is that for a grand finale these two pseudo-intellectual chowderheads had the nerve to trot out a bunch of really bad Jim Morrison poetry. My God! It almost made me puke. Frye Art Museum, 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250, 7 pm, free.

TOM DOUGLAS

Goodness gracious, but this guy’s been showing up simply everywhere to promote his new cookbook, Tom Douglas’ Seattle Kitchen. Next thing you know he’ll be making house calls, running door to door in an apron and chef’s cap and offering free, in-house demonstrations on the subtle technique involved in making hand-rolled gnocchi, followed by a careful explanation of the five steps leading to a world-class tiramisu. Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333, 6:30 pm, free.

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

Theodore Geisel (a.k.a. Dr. Seuss) was so vehemently opposed to all forms of consumerist marketing that it took years, a supreme act of will, and the inclusion of Boris Karloff’s talents to convince him to give the go-ahead on an animated short based on his beloved Grinch book. Which makes me think Ron Howard should be tarred, feathered, dismembered, and shot flaming from a catapult for so blatantly and shamelessly defying the spirit of Seuss. Fucking Opie. Poor old Geisel is barely decomposed in his grave and Howard makes the Grinch into some hyperactive, ultra-extravagant, special-effects-burdened shitty star vehicle for a smirking, clowning, nihilistic Jim Carrey decked out in pouty greenface. What a world! Well, you can probably recapture some of that lost innocence by attending either, or both, of today’s readings of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main, 624-6600, 11:30 am & 7 pm, free.

FRIDAY 12/22

CHILDREN’S STORY TIME

Tonight’s big event is a reading of Chris Van Allsburg’s classic winter fantasy tale, The Polar Express. Other activities include the jubilant if slightly off-key singing of Christmas songs, as well as the ravenous eating of yummy cookies and the furious sipping of tummy-warming hot cocoa. Old Santy-Claus himself is also scheduled to make a special guest appearance, assuming he stays sober and someone gives him really good directions. And speaking of Christmas songs, I would just like to say that I think that one about “chestnuts roasting on an open fire” is probably the best of the lot. It stays pretty much non-sectarian without losing any of the greater spiritual significance of the holiday season. Plus the melody is just so darn nice. To hear Nat King Cole sing that song is to realize that the good things in life will never change, despite rampant consumerization, gaping holes in the ozone, and a new president who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Merry Christmas! Arundel Books, 1113 First Ave, 624-4442, 7 pm, $3 suggested donation, please RSVP.

SATURDAY 12/23

METHODS NIGHT

Mad Krew hosts the first of its monthly all-ages hiphop poetry open mics. Includes a video screening of Enter the Madness. Independent Media Center, 1415 Third Ave, 262-0721, 8 pm, $5 ($3 with canned food donation).

SUNDAY 12/24

THREE POETS & AN OPEN MIC

J. Glenn Evans, the guy who puts all these fantastic readings together, has informed us that there is NO PROGRAM for tonight’s event, which I take to mean that either 1) there are no big-name poets scheduled to read, in which case the whole night will be a sort of open mic thing, or 2) that there is literally no printed program and you will have to wait and see who’s going to read, or 3) that this reading, such as it is, subscribes to “no program,” as in it is not specifically devoted to the particular orthodoxy of any one political party, system of thought, or school of poetry (i.e. Marxism, structuralism, post-structuralism, classicism, free verse, etc.). Whichever happens to be the case, I’m sure it’s going to be a total blast. Have fun. Merry Christmas. Wit’s End Bookstore & Tea Shop, 770 N 34th St, 682-1268, 7 pm, free.

MONDAY 12/25

There is nothing happening today.

TUESDAY 12/26

Nope.

WEDNESDAY 12/27

POETRY NIGHT IN WOODINVILLE

Why are we listing a poetry reading way out in Woodinville? Because there’s nothing else going on, and we need to fill space. (The term “fill space” is a registered trademark of the Society of Professional Journalist, and it’s use here is not meant in any way to disparage, impugn, or implicate that fine organization.) Tonight’s featured readers include the poets Richard Brugger, Lucy Dougall, and Glen Miller. Lee McDonald will host the proceedings. And, as always, there will be a round of open mic recitations–so if you have any new lines you’d like to try out on all those gullible Woodinvillians, by all means trot them out and cut loose. You might not be the next T. S. Elliot, but you sure as hell deserve your chance in the spotlight. Good luck, and happy second day of Kwanzaa. Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 18025 Garden Way NE, 682-1268, 7 pm, free.