One male trait that charms me is the love of fiddling with things. Take phones, for example. When I get a new phone, I’ll spend two minutes figuring out how to get calls, texts, and e-mails on it, and then I’m done. I’m just not particularly interested in every single technological marvel it can perform. My male partners, on the other hand, have customized, optimized, downloaded, and generally exploited every possible feature of their phones. They can clock the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow. They can text Batman. They have apps that can theoretically launch nuclear missiles. Yes, I know women can do this, too. But indulge me, because this affectionately sexist whimsy is leading to a deeper question: Why don’t men wear strap-on dildos more often?

Does that sound like an absurd segue? It isn’t to me. Most men look at you funny if you even suggest the possibility that they could wear a strap-on dildo. And yet… men like sex. Many men like engineering things. Some men really like both. There are thousands of sexual gadgets in the world invented, manufactured, and sold by men, and it’s mainly guys who buy them. But somehow this very basic form of sexual technology goes unloved by men. That baffles me.

It can’t be fear of looking silly. Not from a gender that permits glow-in-the-dark condoms, novelty thongs, and cock rings with rubber squid tentacles. True, many commercially marketed dildo harnesses are shaped with a female body in mind, but there are some harnesses designed for men, where the dildo is secured to the man’s lower abdomen, right above his factory-installed equipment. And buying a ready-made harness isn’t an absolute requirement. All one really needs is a dildo, a set of hips, and something to lash the two together—bathrobe ties, clothesline, anything. The rest is just a physics experiment.

I suppose one also needs someplace to put that second phallus. Double penetration is not something I find strictly necessary for a good time, but some women enjoy it. A strap-on seems like the ideal thing for a guy who likes the idea of DP but is reluctant to be near another erect penis. A man wielding two cocks can also potentially put them in two different people simultaneously. I know one man who has experience doing exactly that, with two women. He admits it required some practice to perfect and advises, “Lie on your back, with them facing you, back to front.” I think the shape of the specific bodies involved will inform that naked Twister game, but there’s really no bad outcome in that scenario, is there?

So if you’re a boy who likes toys, consider the humble strap-on. Granted, they are a low-tech application and perhaps not as alluring as the shiny new whizbang—but the good thing is, you can rely on them never to crash when you’re making that really important upload. recommended

13 replies on “Control Tower”

  1. A guy with a strap-on is one of my fantasies, which I have never fulfilled. Seems like an easy way of being totally filled up, and less chance of problems with another guy in the mix.

  2. When I was 15 (many years ago) a male friend of mine told me he had always wanted to fuck a girl with a strap on. My thoughts were: Strap on? Like a bra strap? I just didn’t get it. Thanks for bringing back that memory 🙂

  3. The feeldoe is actually designed in a way that it can be inserted into the anus. This enables people with outties to double penetrate while stimulating the prostate. It’s the same idea except that your second cock is underneath the factory equipment. My cis-male partner has done this with me, and it was a bit more stimulation than was entirely comfortable for me, but it’s still really cool.

  7. Golly, is it really that rare? Fascinating. That was the second thing my boyfriend and I tried after we got the strap-on (after the obvious first thing). I’m no expert, but I think the harness design matters–some seem more easily repositioned, so the fella can adjust himself around it (ours also had a set-up where he could add a cock ring for himself just for extra fun. Other seem more designed with the assumption that it’ll be a lady wearing it.

  8. There are also strap-ons (not really with straps) that are actually cock sheaths. They can look weird, but they expand the cock in both girth and length.

    I think the difference between every other gadget and the strap-on is the strap-on can be percieved as a challenge to one’s manhood. The whole “you’re not big enough for me, and require this strap-on.” Also, when using a strap on, they’re not fucking with their dick. Many men LOVE the fantasy of making the other person cum with just their dick. Men have a lot of Self oriented in the size and purpose of their dick.

  9. Never found one that didn’t smash the hell out of my junk. Or stayed put instead of falling off/down/around. Or didn’t want to pull itself off of me on the withdrawal move. Or left me in a place to play with my own equipment while operating the strap-on.
    I think the biggest obstacle to guys wearing them is the first item.

  10. My gal and I have “his” and “hers” harnesses. And yes, just as MM said, I purchased them both. 😉 The “his” model isn’t strictly a “his”–but comes with a metal ring at one of the harness junctures which works well with the male anatomy. Thanks MM for reminding me of these things. My new New Year’s resolution is to use them both more in 2011!

  11. as a guy, i think it would be cool to use one in femdom, teasing and denial play. the idea of being told i can only use the dildo, and being so near yet so far…wow.

  13. I would not allow my wife in a real gang bang, but have fantasized about it. Then I bought a variety of dildos and a strap on, and during a fantasy night I would put the strap on and fuck my wife with the variety of dildo as in a gang bang. She gets to pick the “penis”, style and duration of each “guy”. This way we go on and on untill she is ready for me. The strap on is my discovery of 2011.

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