Dear Science

Dear Science,

Are fluorescent lightbulbs really better for the earth? Because
they fucking suck.

Sincerely,

Unflattered

Dear Unflattered,

Right now, Science looks near death thanks to some lowest-bid
buzzing tubes overhead. The flicker of cheap fluorescents is enough to
give some people headaches, and in rare cases, seizures. And the colors
are all wrong—too much yellow and blue, too little red and green.
Newer technologies have cut back on the flickering problem and the
color problem. But still.

Getting to your question. Warm and cozy traditional light bulbs work
by running a ton of electricity through a thin wire, heating it until
the miserable little filament glows under the strain. Most of the
energy goes into heating; only about 2 percent of the electricity
actually becomes light. In other words, traditional lightbulbs use up
lots and lots of energy, which is taxing for the earth.

Fluorescent bulbs cheat, heating up a coil of wire only enough to
start throwing off electrons, which in turn convert a low-pressure
mercury vapor into plasma. The heavy-metal vapor throws off a bunch of
ultraviolet light—excellent for tanning or destroying DNA, but
not so great for looking. The white powder on the inside of the bulb
converts the emitted ultraviolet light into visible light by
fluorescence—hence the name. This convoluted pathway uses about a
quarter of energy to make the same intensity light as a traditional
bulb and also lasts longer than a regular bulb. Great! Fluorescents are
a clear environmental winner, right?

Well, sort of. Traditional incandescent bulbs have this in the plus
column: They’re easy to manufacture and they’re made out of
environtmentally gentle parts. The “mercury vapor” that fluorescent
bulbs require is quite toxic. While new compact fluorescent bulbs are
voluntarily limited to five milligrams of mercury each, as little as a
tenth of a milligram per square yard will make you seriously ill.
Shaking hands, drooling, irritability, memory loss, depression,
weakness—sounds like fun. And that’s what happens to adults; kids
can be permanently injured by mercury exposure. If you break one of
these bulbs in your house—and think of all the times a bulb
breaks—the current advice is to open a window and run, not to
return for at least 15 minutes. Whereas if it’s a traditional bulb, you
grab a broom and screw in a new one.

And even if you manage to not accidentally dump hazardous waste in
your living room, what do you do with a fluorescent bulb when it just
plain wears out? Most places cannot recycle fluorescent tubes.

If you live in a place where power is produced by coal power plants
that are belching mercury, radiation, and carbon—if you live in
Ohio, for example—the total amount of mercury used to light up
your living room comes out to about the same amount whether you’re
using a traditional bulb (because the power plant has to release four
times the amount of mercury, radiation, and carbon to light it up) or a
fluorescent (releasing less at the plant, but more in the landfill or
your living room). But here in Seattle, where we make power by
shredding salmon, it probably makes more sense to stick with a
traditional bulb, and turn it off when you’re not home.

Send your questions to dearscience@thestranger.com.