Yes, you’re fat. You’ve finally gotten me to say it. You are fat. I
look at you, and I see three chins just waiting to embolden themselves.
I see your stomach when you stand up; it’s practically the size of the
spare tire on a French bicycle. Yes, yes, yes, you were right the first
time: You’re fat. And you’re using the excuse that you’re
breast-feeding to eat every goddamn dessert in sight. And then you,
occasionally, complain that you’re fat (not two weeks after insisting
that you’re NOT fat). Look, you’re fat. You’re repulsive to me. You’re
not the sexy beast you once were, the one that laid everybody in
Olympia twixt 12 and 20. You’re fat, and you’re shoveling down ice
cream, cannoli, and every goddamn dairy product with a trademark that
you can find—and finding every convenient excuse to do so. I
figure you will be using these excuses for the rest of your life,
because it’s easy. I’m sick of avoiding everything fatty because of my
health, whereas there is not a single cake, ice-cream cone, pie,
muffin, cupcake, or mousse that you can find it in your heart to deny
JUST ONCE. You suck these things down twice a day, then complain about
it, and then expect some words of sympathy from me. Look, YOU ARE FAT,
YOU ARE DOING NOTHING TO STOP IT, AND YOU HAVE NEVER SHOWN ONE IOTA OF
RESOLVE THAT YOU WILL EVER TRY TO DO SO. So you got me to say it, in my
own passive-aggressive/through-the-media manner. Why do I have to deal
with it? Self-control: It’s better than bite-size Milky Ways, Bessie.
Catch the wave. recommended

121 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. i looooove fat men.

    big, strong fat men, who can pick up a truck and make me feel TIIINY!!

    to the commenter who suggested footrubs and etc: i’ve never been inclined to lose weight for anyone, save a recent lover who did all of the above (footrubs, amazing sex, compliments galore), in large part because he wouldn’t stop gassing on about how sexy i was (the bathroom mirror’s evidence to the contrary). i’m of the school of thought that one wants to be the best possible version of oneself for s/he who thinks you’re hawt.

    the op’s baby’s momma, as far as i’m concerned (cause i’ve been there, without support) walks on water

    for all those who mock our childrearing efforts (and i’ve been within earshot of those who do), feel free to mock.

    …and then leave.

    it’s easier without you: child support services will take care of the rest….

  2. I’m so sick of defensive breeders! This women sounds like a total pig and a parasite but it’s all good because baby’s are sacred, bullshit! The country is overpopulated breeders aren’t special just a burden to an already stressed eco system!

  3. I’m also guessing that this was posted by the husband/babydaddy of the fat woman in question, but this is just a guess, right? Couldn’t anonymous have a different relationship with her, and/or even be a woman? Did I miss something?

  4. This could be written about me. I have yet to lose the weight from my 6 month old. I too eat stuff I know I shouldn’t. But after months of eating only 120 grams of carbs a day due to gestational diabetes, I am now ready to spend a few months eating without counting. And if that bothers the man who put a total of 5 minutes into the actual production of the child who took over my body for 9 months, then screw him. He got to come, comment on stretch marks for almost a year, sleep and then hold a camera and say push while I was in labor for 24 hours, and now that I’m a human dairy farm he can just shut up about my weight gain. If he thinks he can do better then he is willing to try next time. I will lose the weight, just maybe not on anyone else’s timetable, and I think that’s probably how Anon’s target feels too.

  6. Having a baby does not equivocate into a complete disregard for your body. Having a fat partner does not eqivocate into a complete disregard for being a “team” player. You’re both wrong.

  8. Maybe she needs this said to her face. That may work.

    And to RQE… it is this persons choice to cram food. I was in a bad relationship and was made to feel like the scum of the earth… did I cram my face full of food?
    NO! I removed myself from the situation.

    And there is no good enough excuse on earth to cram your face full of fatty things then whine about it.

  9. I don’t get it. This person is whining because someone isn’t restraining when it comes to what they eat and he/she is? Who cares about health, that’s really not your place to demand of someone when it doesn’t effect you.

    Or is it really just that you’re whining that you have to listen to him/her complain? Because, if this letter is any indication, I’m sure he/she has to listen to a lot of that from you too.

  11. Seriously, if anyone has found a decent cannoli in Seattle, I need to know where. And anything where the cream is added prior to the request of the customer does not count.

  12. Eating smaller servings of healthier food is hard.

    Being scorned by judgmental people for being fat is hard.

    Right now it is easier being fat in this country then it is to eat healthy.

    You want to help someone lose weight? Ridicule them until it is easier to eat healthy then it is to be fat.

    Simple.

  14. She got her husband, she got her baby, now she doesn’t care anymore, she doesn’t bother with preserving her health or her looks and she never will. Divorce her, get joint custody and marry somebody that actually cares about herself and you. And for those of you bitching about how hard it is to carry a baby for 9 months, give it a rest, 50% of the worlds population do that and it’s only in America that people seem to think it’s an excuse to gain 100lbs for the rest of your life.

  15. Okay; from what we can deduce the woman has a new baby (sounds like the first) and a douche bag for a mate. One or the other alone is sufficient to cause epic stress, but both is a sure recipe for cannolis, er, I mean disaster. Some people drink, some smoke, some sleep, some shop, but there are a lot of people who eat to cope with stress. Nothing unusual there. If she said she wasn’t fat two weeks ago, then it’s been a topic for discussion. He can see her belly when she stands up? Really? Huh. That never happens right after you pop a baby out. We all look like Beyonce in two weeks with no effort.

    My point? I hope that she DTMFA, figures out a few things about coping with stress and nuturition, and gets on with her life sans cannoli. (But seriously; you know where you can get a good one??)

  16. I agree that this I anonymous is pretty doucheful, especially considering that this woman just had a baby and all. But… saying that overeating/fatness is “seldom the fault of only one half of a partnership” is a bit much. I acknowledge the possibility that someone might overeat due to emotional problems caused by a partner, but 1. I doubt that the majority of fat people are fat because of their partners, and 2. If you overeat because you’re in emotional turmoil, beyond the occassional ice cream binge on a super depressing day, it is YOUR problem and YOU need to fix it – get yourself some therapy to learn how to deal with your issues in some ways other than overeating, such as confronting the people making you feel that way about their assholery, choosing better relationships, or learning some stress relief techniques. Seriously, what ever happened to personal responsibility in this country?

  18. Wow, I am never having kids. This is every woman’s worst nightmare, that their partner is secretly a douchebag that doesn’t get that pregnancy makes you fat temporarily, and you can’t lose 9 months of baby weight instantly. This is seriously the most terrifying I, Anonymous on record.

    I’ve never breast-fed, but it sounds like the kind of thing that would make you fucking hungry.
    Also, like RQE, I’m not fat. 5’8″ and 135.

  19. I am really intrigued by the many variations of “I hope she dumps him because she deserves better.” Um and where exactly IS Brad Pitt, when he could be romancing a sexless, fat slob? Oh, riiight… So, since Brad is busy, who exactly is going to be bothered with this hot mess? Fat is not attractive, letting yourself go is not attractive, wantinh a kid and then using the kid for 2 decades as an excuse to be gross is also awful. Lots of women have kids, and have had kids for all eternity. They did not, until the last couple of decades, remain beached whales and demand that anyone think they are sexy. You can be fat or you can be sexy, but really, despite all the big fat people screeching otherwise, you cannot be both. A man who renegs on HIS part of a marriage would be crucified, but spawning a kid is some magic get-out-of-jail-free card for women, it’s BS.

  20. Oh og217, that’s such bullshit. This woman is breast-feeding. That means she just had a kid. My mom had four kids, and she re-bounded quite nicely after each one. But the fact remains that pregnancy forces you to get fat, and stay fat for a bit to nurse your kid. Did my dad freak out and demand she be thin and sexy at all times? No. He grew a pair and helped her out with what were HIS kids too.
    As many men let themselves go as women, and they aren’t forced to gain weight every time they have a kid. This idea that women use their children to get money from men, or to gain weight, is ridiculous. Women don’t spend child support on themselves, they spend it on their CHILDREN, who apparently, some men don’t feel they have to put a lot of time into caring for. When you have kids, your days of spending money on yourself are largely over.

  21. Stupid fat fucks don’t want to do shit but are fine complaining about their fat asses while sucking on a tub of ice cream and THEN you complain it’s the healthy (not code for normal weight, normal weight IS ACTUALLY FUCKING HEALTHY) people’s fault for making you feel bad so you HAVE to fucking eat another truck full of cookies.
    Stupid fucks. Run or roll away.

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