Dear very kind person who called the police when they thought I was going to jump off the interstate overpass: That was nice of you. And I never want to deter you or anyone from making that phone call if you think someone is going to jump, or cut, or shoot, or swallow their way into the next life, BUT, for you and all of my neighbors who see me on that bridge most mornings, I feel I need to explain myself. I was raised in the mountains where I could watch the comings and goings of the day from hearty boulders along cliff faces. I became an addict for sunrises. I NEED them, and unfortunately there are very few places to watch them nearby. In addition to providing a great vantage point for inhaling clouds of interstate smog, that overpass is the only place nearby that I can get a view of the sun coming up. So thank you again. I am glad to see people checking in on others in the city, but I just hope I’m not the only one noticing the incredible hues of blue and gold just beyond the semis.
—Anonymous
Thank you, IA. I hope you are enjoying the snow.
well Anon, maybe when you’re watching your next sunrise you could refrain from swinging your arms back and forth, yelling “and a one, and a two, and a…”? That would put a lot of us at ease.
And what @2 said.
The sun rises in Seattle? I thought it just went from black to grey and back again.
Folks, the real issue here is TOO MUCH COCAINE AND MALT LIQUOR? Or not enough?
Enjoy the sunrises, Anon, and stay warm!
@5: I was waiting for you to say that!
@6 What other excuse is there for the INSANITY of sitting on the railing of an I-5 overpass? Seriously, not a wise thing to do.
L A M E
The Stranger stole this from an IA printed in the Portland Mercury two weeks ago.
Look it up.
@8 You are aware that the Portland Merc and The Stranger are sister pubs? Yes? They share stupid content like this… FUCKING MORON.
@7 Arthur: I agree! That’s why I commented on your post @5. It’s your famous line. Either way, I seriously meant for Anon to enjoy the sunrises and stay warm. I never recommended that Anon–or anyone else–actually jump off an I-5 over pass!
Dear Arturd,
Hey asshole.
It was to let you dicksmackers up north know its origins were here, in Pdx. YOU fuckheads didn’t submit anything worthy this time around so there..dumbfuck(s)
Love, portland
I must say I disagree with Auntie G- there are most certainly some people that SHOULD jump off an I-5 (or any tall bridge, actually) overpass…
What a pretentious moron.
Hi Portland, nice of you to check in with big bro. Watup kid! Surely you guys are aware by now that your little Mercury is a spinoff of our Stranger. The Stranger was around for over a decade in Seattle before they decided to let PDX in on the fun. We love having you as our smart ass lil bro PDX but don’t forget about the smart part!
Actually, we are the sister publication (just ask your own Arthur). With that said, I agree with you, the small part. Unlike your blown out balloon knots oozing santorum.
@12: Fair enough; I’m just not into suicide.
I’ve got a semi
I’ve got a colon.
I grew up in an NRA household. I had a .45 in my crib and had my first concealed carry permit at 9.
I am in love with guns in every way and could never remain faithful to just one. As such, I participate in acts with guns you mamby-pamby liberals would never appreciate or understand.
So, if you see me sitting in my car with the barrel of my shotgun in my mouth please do not call 911. I appreciate your concern but that is just one of many ways I enjoy my firearms.
You say you grew up in the mountains. Neat. But when you look for a place to “watch the sunrise” you wander onto an Interstate overpass in a city surrounded by mountains?
Also if you “…became an addict for sunrises…” and “…NEED them”
Why did you move to Seattle? If I were an “addict for sunrises” I think I’d move to somewhere that actually has them every once in a while.
just sayin
@19: LOL!!! Good one!!
@20: I appreciate your fair warning, Tackleberry. Your list is just one of many reasons why I’m so glad I don’t live anywhere near you.
Anybody should be able to enjoy the sunrise on a bridge. But if the bridge has a history of suicides then your neighbors concerns were warranted. All said and done, at least your neighbors were looking out for you.
LOL! This is funny. But maybe you should view the sunrise not so close to the edge. Get some binoculars or something?
Maybe some people should think twice more often and mind their own business. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Nobody is going to stop a jumper if they are intent upon doing it, even with a fence. It may sound cold, but reality often is.
You dipshits and your “Lols”. Don’t you know this was written by/ for the Pdx mercury? The stranger is lazy for reprinting and Seattle as a whole sucks for not having submitted one worthy. Jerkoffs.
“Raised in the mountains”? This is ridiculous.
@26: …and yet you remain unregistered.
“.and yet you remain unregistered”.
What do I get a travel mug If I sign up to be anonymous?
The Portland Mercury is The Stranger’s ugly retarded sister.
@29: You’re already anonymous, whether you’re registered or not, Petey.
Does your mom know you’re out?
@31
Cunty I mean Auntie Grizelda,
Then WHY the fuck does IT matter whether or not I register? Do you get points? Is it some type of pyramid scheme? Should you fuck off?
I can only answer the last one……
@32: So–you’re still in the dark?
great story!