Please keep in mind that you are, in fact, 26, not 86—so stop
whining about how horrible modern life is. Stop telling me on and on
and on how everything was better in your time. The music was
better, the movies were better, the actors were better. There were no
annoying special effects and video games that corrupt our children, and
the food was healthier and tastier, and people didn’t use computers,
and they grew and cooked their own food, and they read newspapers and
they were so much more intelligent, and even morals were better.
It turns out that 50, 100, 200 years ago, people were all honest and
affectionate and unselfish, and they didn’t lie or steal or sell their
friends for money, and they didn’t use each other and their
relationships were real. Seriously, dude, what next? Shut the
fuck up already. recommended

46 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  2. People weren’t all that much better that long ago either. We just have way more means to corrupt our society and future than we did before. As a species, we are no worse off than we were 50, 100 or even 200 years ago.

  5. God. I’m 27. I sure as shit don’t hope I sound like this when I talk about things from 10 years ago… By the way, Blink 182? Best punk band ever.

  8. Remind him that before modern times there was also no modern sanitation or modern medicine.

    Yeah… people just throwing garbage out the windows, open sewers everywhere, no running water so yep no flush toilets either.

    Oh and morals… yeah back then when slavery was legal and women couldn’t own property, when women *were* property.

  9. You cannot use Punk and Blink-182 in the same sentence. Unless you prefix it with Bubble-Gum Pop, which of coarse makes it an oxymoron.

  11. Civilization ended in 1995. After that, we all just started surviving. Remember when we used to have sex with each other and not with a computer screen? I can’t even remember what it feels like to be touched. God. When will this slow-die-Jesus excuse for modern life just STOP?

  13. Well obviosuly someone’s never read a history book, or just the soft and squishy stuff written by other Miniver Cheevys. WTF is up with this historical romanticism? He’s no better than those Fing conservatives who praise the “innocent” 50s to no end (yeah an hour with my grandma will dispel that notion). It’s one thing to enjoy the style of an era, its another to want to live there. Buy the stereopticon at the antique shop and leave it there. Get a life in the present, loser.

  14. What happened to the good old days of I, Anonymous? Jack Palace Queen… Pig fuckers, racists, face cummers and poop fiends.

    Now it’s just whiny douchebags.

  15. “You cannot use Punk and Blink-182 in the same sentence. Unless you prefix it with Bubble-Gum Pop, which of coarse makes it an oxymoron.”

    Way to take my hilarious post and just fuck it straight into the ground dude…

    I’m more than aware of Blink 182’s music styling, but perhaps I had a different, less informed, opinion 10 years ago and I wanted to make a joke about it – is that ok? I mean the goddamn article is about a guy who longs for the past. Or do we have to get all “High Fidelity” on every musical referrence that comes across these boards?

  16. 26 oh fawk. they have never played with records. I mean played with records. put’em on the turntable listen read the liner notes look at the album cover. right shit on the album cover. FK. 26 is not old. I’m fucking old. old enough to be 86ed from half the drinking establishments from Los Angeles to Seattle

  20. “back in the day” for this 26 year old person must mean they were about 11 or 12 during their “heyday.” (approx guess based on when the internet became widely popular to the masses.)

    I don’t know about you, but is 11 the age a person really needs to moon about? was this really that person’s peak in life?

  22. Oh yes those golden times of yesteryear. Going to the dentist was much fun. Novacain was nheard of, Surgery was a grand adventure in pain tolerance! Who need electricty or heat, Babies died left and right and the avg lifespan was a lot shorter than now….

    As far a Bands?… hey Queen was the Best!

  24. I’m with coggie. Although there were plenty of problems back then too, amen to the “good old days”. It’s refreshing to see that there are still a lot of people out there in my age bracket, and much younger folks who can appreciate it. All of us have something good to contribute to society.

    And right on, Doug–Queen—especially Bohemian Rhapsody—ROCKS!!

  26. I actually ran into the someone the other day who hadn’t heard of Queen – which is somewhat understandable for someone in my generation (I’m 27 now). I explained to him that Queen was the band that recorded the song in that famous lip-syncing scene in the movie “Wayne’s World”. He then explained to me that he had never seen “Wayne’s World”. I considered that to be the opposite of understandable.

  27. I was a kid in the 70s and a teenager in the 80s and they sucked! Disco ruled my grade school years, and people actually thought the Dukes of Hazzard was a great TV show. Then I get to the 80s and my teen years and people started wearing parachute pants and listening to Culture Club. Throwing vast amounts of hair gel to see who’s hair could become the most vertical. You’d think it would get better, but then hair bands popped up and littered the landscape with power ballads. Strom Thurmond was in his 80s and my state senator, I still had two more decades of that hypocryte and his syncophants to endure. Then the cherry on top was the religious right becoming a force in politics. Does anyone also realize how hard it was to get porn back then?

    So when I’m 80, I’ll tell my grandkids how much things sucked.

  31. Personally, I’d happily tell you that some things used to be (much) better – movies and music, for instance. Some things are not. Of couse, I’m referring to the 80s, not the 40s, but there is no guarantee in life that all things will always get better. Money, politics, history, public will, etc., often get in the way. I don’t think anyone can argue that there are some movies of merit these days, but the real modern ‘classics’ are from the 80s. We’ve not had a current generation Bladerunner, or John Huges, or Steven Spielberg (because he’s apparently slid off into obscure irrelevance now). And the music? Pathetic in comparison. (And yes, we can se the blame for that squarely on the music industry, but even so – today’s music SUCKS creatively, in diversity, and doesn;t make any money. Radio and MTV are dead. Ugh.)

  32. Come on… i want the juicy letters you could never tell someone face to face, shit this person already told his friend to shut up, next time choose something better!!!

  33. I grew up in the 1960’s. I remember at the time, my friend and I laughed over the fact that her fuddy-duddy hopelessly uncool father couldn’t name a single song recorded by the Beatles. It just struck me while reading these comments that there must be cutting-edge kids today who scorn anything earlier than Tuesday, who can’t do that either.

  34. Not, “the good old days” just some weird hippie’s strange childhood. Nobody grew their own food or did cool shit when I was a kid…

  36. Actually, I agree with the person who this “I, Anonymous” is targeting.

    I teach literature, and I can tell you that from reading a lot of Shakespeare, I know that during the Renaissance people were a lot more…wait, people were really fucked up back then, and from Medieval Literature like Dante and Chaucer,,, now wait fucked up then too, and Classical Literature like Sophocles,,, no wait really fucked up…

  37. Blink 182 best punk band. Really? Yet Blink circa 1992 is the epitome of this rant; everything was better before.
    Hell, maybe it was.

  38. this is indeed nothing to do with elderly – people who think and act like this are common in every age bracket

    aegism stinks

    my granny was the most free thinking and forward thinking person I have ever known – full of good stories from a richly lived long life – but new and modern in every sense of the word – she loved discovery and relished the changes from her childhood

    this person is mired in self and negativity – and not too bright

    we do live longer this this era, have access to tech. and transportation that would make the kings and czars of old empires full of envy

    it is a great time to be alive – and all the universe confirms

    the writer needs a much better sex life – like the old days!!!!

    Cheers, Sunday and the sun is near – about time.

    John

  40. Don’t forget, in the olden days, people walked to school, ten miles, with no shoes, in the snow. Oh, and it was uphill both ways.

  41. Part of trying to keep my skills up as a music professor is referencing current pop music (for theory, composition, content). It is much more fun to see my students look at me in shock when they discover that I’m actually familiar with their favorite bands than it is to have to listen to it and get familiar with it. I just wish they’d try listening to even a tenth of what I listen to — there’s brilliant music being created right now, all over the world, and these students probably won’t ever hear it.

  42. Heh, that reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. Except he not only lived in the past, but in the astral plane. Which made for interesting non-conversations.

  43. Frau Blucher:

    Thanks for sharing more memories of the “good old days”.
    I remember when folks had to climb five, six flights of stairs and you had to ‘watch your step’ because….

    ‘the stairs can be treacherous!’

  45. Well, I’ve been reading I anon since 97, and back then the letters were much more entertaining!

    And ON PAPER!!

    @intentional BS sarcasm@

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