Dear, Mr. Janitor. I’m very sorry they fired you. Well… actually
I’m not. You deserved it. I mean, what were you thinking when you went
into the kitchenette at our office, stood next to the trash can, and
took a piss? I know you didn’t realize I was sitting at a table behind
you—but seriously, the men’s room was only a 10-second walk away.
How could I not turn you in? There are over 100 people who use that
kitchen every day. These people worked very hard to get jobs at this
corporation, and none of them would be happy to find out you took a pee
where they fix their lunches. I’m only sorry that they canned all the
janitors because of your disgusting behavior. It wasn’t fair. They
shouldn’t be unemployed because of you. For your next job, remember:
Don’t shit where you eat. That goes for pissing where your employer
eats, too. Go get ’em, tiger!

34 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  6. The janitors were employed as a team. I don’t know if they were all fired or just reassigned elsewhere. There is a new set at the office now.

  10. at least he didn’t defile the sink. that’s something I can’t say for myself.

    but only in times of dire need.

  11. i always pee in the bathroom sink at home: no splashing = less cleaning, and you just run a little water afterward instead of doing a big water-wasting flush. I recommend it to all men. But pissing in the waste basket? that’s effed up.

  13. The janitor was caught pissing in a company kitchen wastebasket 10 running steps from the men’s room?!?
    I’m with @11: that’s totally effed up!!
    Did he vote McCain / Palin 2008 or something, and lose a bet?

    It’s too bad that all the other janitors had to lose their jobs, too, because of one unsanitary idiot.

  14. What -is- more common, and to me, just as disgusting, is people who SPIT into wastebaskets. Guaranteed septic glop, and horrible. Wish -that- were a firing offense.

  16. @#11: that is disgusting. Install a urinal if you’re worried about wasting water. I sincerely hope that if you live with someone that they are aware of your bacteria-ridden habit.

  17. @ 15, The diff between a loogy and a kleenex is the diff between liquid and solid. Waste baskets are for solid waste.

  18. @16, the bacteria in saliva is what you have to answer for then, since you spit into that same lavy. No wife/girlfriend of mine has ever had a problem with this.

  19. Oh please. Janitors get pissed on by smug yuppie corporate a-holes every day of their lives. I certainly don’t think it is acceptable to pee in a garbage can, but if he was subject to the kind of degrading behavior that I see directed towards janitors in my office every day, I can at least sort of sympathize. How many times has this guy mopped up your piss? I have a feeling he could tell you a thing or two about working around puddles of piss. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was an alcoholic. I certainly would be if I mopped up the bodily fluids of entitled yuppies every day. I’m sure people “worked very hard” stapling papers and kissing ass to get a job at your corporation, but still…don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his piss, sh*t and vomit covered shoes. I admit I’m making assumptions here, but still, just sayin’…my experiences tell me that people usually don’t do stuff like this without being provoked via dehumanizing treatment for years.

  21. jabuhrer – do you assume he may be alcoholic because of the treatment he endures at his crappy job or is it possible – just possible, using your other assumptions – he endures crappy treatment at a crappy job because he’s possibly a shiftless alcoholic? I love to drink. I have a great job. If I were faced with the prospect of earning my living mopping up piss, I’d start working on a plan to improve my situation and it would not include pissing in the wastebasket where I clean to get my revenge on those paper-stapling, ass-kissing yuppies who managed to qualify for a job I can’t get because drinking is more fun than acquiring skills and wearing clean clothes.

  23. Extrapolation…………………..

    kmlalk: Didn’t sound like jabuhrer was assuming anything as he said: “It wouldn’t surprise me if he was an alcoholic.”

    You say: “I’d start working on a plan to improve my situation….” Um yeah, people are janitors just because they lack some kind of initiative–not necessarily. Usually, it’s more complicated than that. And people do treat janitors or anyone else they feel superior too like shit–they feel entitled to it because there’s this prevailing notion that in America that the people do the shitwork because they’re not smart enough or talented enough or ambitious enough to get a better job. It’s not that simple.

    So much depends on the details of the situation that are not included here. This janitor could be a genius, could be mentally ill, could be a regular guy who just a little short of some initiative. could be an artist/musician/writer, could be an undocumented immigrant, could be using drugs, could be in recovery. Who knows.

    When I read it, I assumed the guy was mentally ill and intoxicated, and so was oblivious to or had forgotten about social norms. That was an assumption that could be way off the mark.

    Also, not everybody wants to be a yuppie, although the money would be nice.

    Unless the person who peed has some kind of infection (not sure what kind) pee in and of itself isn’t a health hazard, it just gross because it stinks.

  28. Good Will Hunting’s main character was a janitor and a mathematical genius. He was also the kind that would take a leak in someone’s trash can if they pissed him off enough.

    Having been treated like a second class citizen at a few jobs, l might do the same, if it were that worth it to me. This goes right along the same lines of not pissing off the people who prepare your food.

  32. @ all posts related to the pissing in the sink…

    My ex peed in the sink and I thought it was completely disgusting…I washed my face in that sink! Oddly I’m totally okay with peeing in the shower.

Comments are closed.