We knew each other for three years and were always friendly and
respectful. You flirted with me, said you needed some good sex, climbed
into my bed. I cheered you up and gave you everything you wanted
(except for helping you get drugs), but the one time you couldn’t have
me when you wanted, you sent a nasty ultimatum text message to either
come over and have sex that night or “we’re over”?!? You apologized,
and I did yet another nice thing by taking you on a trip, only to have
you get shitfaced, fall into a campfire, say I have a substance-abuse
problem, then want to have sex. (FYI, I just pulled YOUR drunk ass out
of a FIRE, YOU use drugs and drink at work and have a DUI, and falling
into a fire is NOT SEXY.) The next day, when you finally figured out I
didn’t want you sexually, you shoved me, had an insecurity meltdown,
acted like a 12-year-old (we’re in our effing 30s), and silently pouted
for the four-hour ride home. BUT YOU CROSSED THE FUCKING LINE BY
INSULTING MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND (a single mom, ex–foster child,
child-molestation/multiple-rape victim who worked and volunteered for
women’s rights groups, whom I CARED FOR AND LOVED DEARLY, but finally
succumbed to depression and suicide). You suck as a human being even
more than you do in bed. You come across as nice and bubbly, but I’ve
seen your TRUE COLORS, YOU BAT-SHIT CRAZY, INSANELY RUDE,
SELF-ABSORBED, UNGRATEFUL, BAR-SKANK BITCH!!!
I, Anonymous
Falling into a Fire Is Not Sexy
Comments are closed.
hey, i think i know that chick
you got her number?
‘The next day, when you finally figured out I didn’t want you sexually’
All her crazy aside, how exactly weren’t you stringing this girl along the whole time? Either she’s the dimmest bulb out there, or you’re a dick too. Come to think of it, you’re probably a dick either way.
I think everyone knows that chick metaphorically.
samiaint,
I don’t think he was leading her on. Maybe he would have had sex with her again if she hadn’t made an ass out of herself by falling drunk into a campfire. Just as women have the right to change their minds based on the other person’s behavior, so do men. He gave her a second chance and she blew it.
I’m sorry sweetie. There are better girls at that camping event. Find one next year.
I have to agree that people who drink so much they can’t walk or even stand up are so NOT SEXY!! Smoke dope instead. It’s hot!
@3 NO U!
If it hadn’t been about a chick, I would have thought I knew “that guy”. Although he was a fairly congenial drunkard whose sole flaw was a regrettably consistent tendency to get wasted and fall into fires at parties.
Getting back to topic, I suspect this chick has pretty much burned through her entire allowance of pity sex from the writer.
Wow, the dude that wrote this rant really can pick ’em.
Prior to this mess he’s bitching about he dated an ex–foster child, child-molestation/multiple-rape victim who finally succumbed to depression and suicide.
Jesus dude, what’s with you needing to be with such damaged people?
And yet, despite this person being a self serving, insecure skank with multiple substance abuse issues and poor social and communication skills- You chose to fuck her…. what does that say about you?
We’re assuming a guy wrote this, right? Probably, but can’t be sure unless I’m missing some gender identifier in the text.
@5, I’m not buying it. The tone of the rant may be colored by the way this guy feels now, but it seems pretty clear that this guy felt like this girl was his job, because she was falling apart to begin with; red flags all over the place. The last thing some fucked up, substance-abusing chick needs is pity sex and someone to give her everything she wanted.
Hopefully this guy’s learned that ‘project relationships’ are terrible relationships, and NO ONE comes out happy.
I got the feeling the writer was also a woman.
Don’t tell us this, we don’t care.
As did I, without any gender reference in the text to indicate either way – it seemed to me to read like a woman’s writing….
Oh, you two are meant for each other. Now make up.
Its gotta be a woman writing this, us men dont give a shit enough to write like this.
I wrote the original rant. The Stranger left out some lines and edited it. She knew my girlfriend died and I told her I don’t date. She said she was lonely and comfortable with sex, I was simply cheering her up, getting to know her better, and thought she was more sexually mature. She told me she wanted to go for a trip, and I told her I was going hiking and camping, and she was welcome to come. After the apology for the text message, we agreed to just be friends, and she was still welcome to come, but when we got to the campsite, she started saying I was perfect, wanted to have sex, got super insecure, and then started talking about living together, even though she said she was planning on moving away?!? The whole trip went from me being nice and “friends” enjoying a camping trip to “holy shit this bitch is nuts” damage control, seeing as how we work very close to each other. I apologized for sending her the wrong message, but she refuses to apologize for the rude things she said and her behavior, so I blew off some steam in the paper. It was my first attempt at getting to know someone better since my ex’s suicide, and maybe I became really tolerant of shit dealing with all her baggage in life, but from now on, ONE RED FLAG AND IT”S OVER.
My take was that it was a woman writing this. The tone sounds like it.
Interesting that so many commenters assume it was written by a guy to a girl.
Anyway, whoever it is should have cut this fucktard out of their lives way before the campfire. You only have yourself to blame if you’re tied down with deadweight that you refuse to lose.
@19 you’re not the only one that uses I, Anon to blow off steam 🙂 I’m glad you’re rid of her; it definitely sounds like the best outcome for you especially.
Is the writer, #19, a girl or not damnit? SOOOOOO confusing. If not, than fuckin man up and remember that there ALL crazy. Blow your load and move on!
@19–YOU are the bat-shit crazy one. Men like you who prey upon vulnerable women are wolves in sheep’s clothing. You are drawn to the suffering and think you can make a difference because you are a nice guy who understands and you just care. She takes advantage because she’s needy and desperate, yet you give even more, because you have empathy. But really it’s about you trying to heal the failures of the past, and satisfy some sick need to be a savior. You don’t care about her…she is simply a vehicle for your own desperation to be the good guy. Once she’s fallen into the fire you don’t really pull her out, you protest innocence, and disgust at her behavior. You nice guys are all the same. Ugh.
Human beings suck.
@ #22 – Did I give you permission to use my lifelong motto: “Blow your load and move on?”
Great minds think alike. Or damaged minds. Meh who gives a shit.
**SPOOOOGE!**
Who says a dude wrote this. I can’t say for sure, but this has lesbian drama written all over it.
Its not either or, its both. Great Damaged Minds! :}
It doesn’t really make a difference if the writer is male or female. The story remains the same. And to #22: You used both “than” and “there” incorrectly. You should have used the spellings “then” and “they’re.” Moron. No wonder you think all women are crazy. You’ve no doubt been rejected by tons of them who don’t want anything to do with your borderline illiterate ass.
@23 Whoa – got issues? Having been the platonic female friend of someone who turned out to be a certifiable headcase, I can attest that some people hide the fact that they’ve crossed the line between damaged-but-coping to completely fucked in the head really *really* well at first.
Fire is hot.
This was a good’n.
And this is why I wouldn’t change being gay even if I could.
Sounds to me like someone fucked up Michigan’s Musicfeset pretty badly. No man would put up with shit like that, women think we owe it to each other for some reason. And yea, I am a codependant, crisis oriented dyke. Thats how I know when I see another one.
@19: You should have nailed her and thrown her back into the fire.
@ 19,
You might want to hold off on any more overnight dates with friends/lovers until you’re sure they’re only mildly wacky and not completely bat-shit. Say a 90 day waiting period….sort of like buying a gun! If you’re horny, just remember a vibe won’t go out on a pub crawl and get shit-faced, send rude texts, and then demand a commitment on the 2nd date. I know it seems like a long time, but any sort of severe crazy will probably have made itself known by then and you can avoid the whole drunken bonfire situation.
(drum roll, please)…I’m a straight man. But loving a strong, intelligent, ridiculously beautiful, caring woman(then kissing her corpse) and her daughter may have taken the macho BS out of the tone of my writing:) @23- The last thing I do is prey upon the vulnerable, I’m hit on constantly and turn them down (but I know plenty of guys that do just that, hump n’dump). I dated my ex for weeks and we found we fit like “hand in glove” (even before the phenomenal sex) before she told me about her past. What was so shocking to me about this bitch and my return to the “dating pool”, was that after winding down my (admittedly, self-medicated) 3 year mourning period, that a girl I had friendly, weekly contact with for so long, worked so close to me, knew my girlfriend died, and gave the impression of sexual maturity, could fall apart emotionally and be such an insecure, self-centered, mean-spirited lil’ bitch to me and then think she did nothing wrong?!?. I let my guard down once and she got off easy(real easy, since the stranger edited out the part of the rant where her last name was hidden in a sentence:). I’ve been through enough shit with my ex’s death, so from here on out, I have a one-strike policy with the ladies, I’ll respect you if you return the favor. It’s really so fuckin’ easy, people, save the drama for your netflix.
In a sick, sad, sorta-funny way, it’s like I finally walked away from the crematorium, and now it’s back to emotional middle school?!? Thank god I’ve got a sense of humor. Wish me luck:)
Anyone give a shit? Raise of hands. No one? Bueller?
Dude, she’s an alcoholic druggie who obviously has serious mental health issues. Why were you with her in the first place ?(rhetorical) Sounds like you have a history of being attracted to the unstable, and should work on that.
i said #1 verbatim as i read this
i agree with #27. check your grammar!!
Now my relationships look good, and Meal Ticket 1 just blew his nose on the damned floor!
@19, there’s a reason why you connect with these women and they connect with you. It’s going to keep happening until you deal with it. I know because the same kind of thing happened to me four times before I figured out why (with professional help, I might add).
Writer, I sincerely feel for you and am not here to dump on or criticize you, but I am gonna tell you that you’re fooling yourself in one crucial way: People (=everyone) absolutely and positively telegraph their neediness and damage level, and people (=everyone) absolutely and positively perceive, if not at a fully conscious/verbalized level, whom they’re dealing with.
You wrote: << I dated my ex for weeks and we found we fit like “hand in glove” (even before the phenomenal sex) before she told me about her past.>> But the point is that we don’t need to know the specifics of others’ pain/damage to gauge, pretty much right away, the level of that pain/damage.
You also mentioned your << (admittedly, self-medicated) 3 year mourning period>>. Did you see a therapist or a grief counselor? Join a grief support group? You’re using this info, your vulnerbalilty, as another piece of evidence to prove to us that you were 100% victim and she 100% shit/predator. it just ain’t so, writer — that isn’t how life works. We fit together like puzzle pieces, user/usee, bully/victim, etc.
Again, I am *not* lambasting you for anything you’ve done — you’re clearly a compassionate and somewhat insightful person — nor am I suggesting that the flaming woman wasn’t also at fault. But you have some MASSIVE blind spots when it comes to your own behavior, and to pretend that you’re only a victim is disingenuous and ultimately not good for *you*. And by the way, your tale illustrates why so many self-proclaimed “nice guys” who whine about women ignoring or using them just bug the crap out of us women. Co-dependent ain’t the same thing as “nice.” And I’m not suggesting that this is a one-way dynamic — plenty of women enable molto-fucked-up men and then portray themselves as martyred saints. But in this culture, for better and worse, women are taught/permitted to be more self-aware, and that’s why the “I’m a nice guy — why are all these nutty women making my life tough?” refrain is far more dominant.
Therapy is good; therapy is freeing. Therapy gives you back to yourself and brings more joy and light to your life. Find out who you are and heal your own damage; when you do, you won’t draw so many profoundly broken women into your life, and you’ll know how to set/maintain appropriate boundaries with those who come in regardless of how healthy you become.
AWESOME!
The writer needs to let his mom pick the next girlfriend.
yeah i can’t say eithers gender. If the only clue that fire face is a she is the word bitch… that doesn’t put me over the top… And I/A seems like a gal to me.
good luck!
@ 47, please check 36 and 19.
For the general benefit of all, experiencing and recovering from the suicide of a loved one is perhaps THE MOST EXCRUCIATINGLY COMPLEX, STRESSFUL AND TORMENTING EVENT THAT A PERSON CAN EXPERIENCE. In addition, many of the people left in it’s wake feel embarrassed, ashamed, and/or like they failed to foresee and prevent it, and society in general considers it TABOO, INCOMPREHENSIBLE, and “CRAZY”. If you know someone who has experienced a suicide, reach out and listen to them, you will probably gain their loyal respect for a lifetime, but DON”T EVER PUT THEM OR THEIR LOVED ONE DOWN, THAT’S JUST TWISTING THE KNIFE IN A MORE PAINFUL EMOTIONAL WOUND THAN MOST PEOPLE, THANKFULLY, WILL EVER HAVE TO FEEL:)
Take it easy on the caps, Charlie.
Also, admit that you believe crazy women are better in bed, so now you have cognitive dissonance about whether to keep dating them.