I can’t ask you this to your face, because we live together and if
you say no it will make it very awkward. But do you want to make out? I
have been attracted to you for years, and this is the first time we’ve
both been single in all that time as far as I know. If the answer is
yes, here is a secret code you can use to let me know: Just say, “Do
you want to watch this movie with me?”

37 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  5. Ah, it’s sweet. Many of us have met someone at some time where we weren’t sure enough of ourselves (or them) to make a first move.

    Not everyone has the gumption to say “hey, let’s fuck.”

  8. Why not just ask and play it off as a joke? Making a girl laugh is probably one of the easiest ways to persuade her to do anything even remotely intimate. That and getting her drunk. Tried and true, my friend…tried and true.

  10. everyone knows that girls NEVER want to make out with anything. only shop.

    unless you were suggesting… same-sexual lust!??!??! how dare you sir.

  11. I can’t believe this actually made the grade and went to print, very weak, there must be something better that you’ll find to print next week, otherwise this column may have come to its natural end.

  13. Here’s a code for my roommate, if roommate is reading this: if you want to make out with me, say, “Has the mail come yet?” and then act surprised and shocked when I jump on you.

  18. 17: Thank you, that was awesome. *giggles*

    Reminds me of the last time I had a roommate- I’d cooked something with sauteed onions and the roommate’s girlfriend later said “It tasted really good, but onions always smell like B.O. later.”

  24. Seriously…you’re all commenting on this saying it’s weak. What’s weak is the fact you are all commenting at all…you’re probably all single and pissed off at women or men because of it. maybe if the cynicism was taken out of things, people wouldn’t have to feel they need to go to the Stranger to approach someone they like. Really take a look at yourselves. Kudos for being cute and romantic ANONYMOUS 🙂

  26. Adorable my ass. Just fuck and get it over with, already.

    Then we can look forward to a future I, Anonymous when they are stuck still living together but they hate each other and are destroying stuff, throwing clothes out windows, and dropping turd bombs in the bed.

  27. Hmm, I’ve always thought straight and to the point was the best way to go. If you’re nervous, oh well, the blundering of the words, the blush, the bits of spittle that collect on your chin and at the corners of your mouth… it makes it a bit more cute… (do wipe away the saliva though…) I can’t count how many relationships I missed out on because I was too afraid to approach the other person, mistaking their aloofness as disinterest. Where, in fact, the other party was just as nervous and shy as I was about the whole ordeal.

    You know that you will always wonder about what may have been if you never jump the guns and go through with advancing on your roommate. Please do, and I hope it goes well.

  28. Dear roommate,

    I’ll be happy to make out with you. Just clean the damn bathroom every so often, ok? It’ll be our “secret code.”

  30. If you are a woman and your roommate is a man: Get him alone on your room to ask his “opinion” about a really sexy new outfit you have.

    If you are a man and your roommate is a woman: Be present and positive as much as possible. Touch her in friendly but not lecherous or lingering ways. Let her make the first move, but make it clear you are available to her.

    If you are a woman and your roommate is a woman: Move out (or wait for her move out), then make your move.

    If you are a man and your roommate is a man: You are probably already hooking up.

  31. I thought this was cute until I read the “code.” This is the code imagined up by someone who wants to project his or her fantasies onto reality. If the writer really wanted to be sure, they would have come up with something more obscure like, “do you want to watch ‘how the west was won’ and eat reallly greasy popcorn?” – sorry bad example, but you know, specific. This “code” the writer has made makes me think of all those guys who read too much porn and haven’t learned to realate to women as people, and then they hang out with other guys like themselves and they create myths amongst themselves of the ‘codes’ women use, like for example, ‘no’ means ‘yes.’ I’m sure the writer doesn’t fall into this category, but overly general “codes” for “let’s make out” make me worry for the person making them up. Sign of a desire to opt out of reality.

  33. first off, u two have been living together for this long and u have become attuned to the situation? christ i lived with a gay roommate for over 3 yrs. after the first week he told me he was interested in me and that if was interested to keep what he said in mind. so.. i told him no. he knew i was straight. but we were still friends. we still went to bars and hungout with friends and kicked it on the sofa playing xbox.. no tension, no odditty, no worries. and to this day my ass is still a virgin.

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