We all saw you.

Next time you feel the need to beat your meat while driving on I-5 during morning rush hour, remember this: Some vehicles are taller than yours, including public transit. All 40 or so of us had prime box seats to your little puppet show.

Way to go, Spanky!

37 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. If the possibility of watching someone give himself “dat relief” doesn’t inspire greater use of transit, I don’t know what will.

  4. Is a car considered a private or public place? I’ve never really thought about it before. Anyway, it must have been pretty horrible having someone hold your head in that direction, forcing you to stare down through his window like that. You did struggle violently to avert your eyes and read your paper or look out at the skyline or the seagulss or the pedestrians or the sunrise, right?

    Right?

  5. Having an audience was probably the point.

    @4,

    In this case, no, a car isn’t considered private. The guy is still guilty of public indecency.

  9. You’d think the guy might be worried about the consequences of a sudden collision. Just think what the AIR BAG would do to it! To say nothing about being pulled out of the dashboard with the “Jaws Of Life”.

    (Actually, that would be a really effective image for a high school “driver’s ed” video.

  10. maxwell,

    LOL! I bet one of them did have a cell phone cam and submitted it to some site like Holla Back or Why Women Hate Men, etc…it could end up anywhere!

  11. Fuck you. The only joy I get in life is fucking beating off in the car. If your cunt wife wouldn’t fuck you but thought jerking off was ‘cheating’ you’d fucking jack in the car too, anonymous asshole.

    I’m sorry you saw me, but FUCK OFF UNLESS YOU KNOW.

  12. From an environmental perspective car-farting is much MUCH worse than car-jacking. We’re talkin bout CO2 and methane now, folks. That’s called a double whammy where I come from.

  13. Um, NOT SORRY AT ALL, why don’t you just divorce your wife? Washington State _does_ have a No Fault Divorce law. You could d/l the papers tonight & be free before New Year’s.

  17. Sorry, my link didn’t work and I am too lame to know how to hyperlink. It was a really good video shot from an office building, through a sunroof to a guy wanking in traffic. Sigh.

  20. couldn’t have been driving any worse that most of the fools who are on their cell and/or texting … get a freakin’ life … pay attention when you drive!

  22. Right, Spanky is so, so, soooooo retarded that it never, ever would have dawned on him in one million years that everyone on the bus could see him. Because his IQ is 12. Which is too low to drive a car but miracles happen every day, don’t they? Because the last thing in the whole wide world he wanted was to put on the show. Yes, that’s it. Isn’t it? Big laugh, everyone. Right?

    No. Sorry. The whole point was so you rubes would see him. It’s called exhibitionism. Look it up. Spanky wins. You lose. HAND.

  23. I don’t hear any complaints when my beautiful girlfriend does it, in her nurses uniform. And she does! It’s her “thing”. Stress relief.

  24. @11. Why stay married to someone you hate? I mean, I get the whole emo masochistic enjoying-public-self-pity thing, but you could probably find someone with whom to enjoy that kink of yours in a more consensual way. Try Craigslist. I hear you can find anything there.

  25. Let me see if I understand this. A guy who stares at a woman with big tatas is guilty of ogling, but a woman staring at a guy from a tall vantage point to peer into his otherwise private space is an upstanding citizen reporting a sex offender. Got it.

  26. @26 – A space that 40 or so people can easily look into from a bus window isn’t exactly private.

    As for the “tatas” (sounds like a potato snack) most of us women can’t remove them. They tend to go everywhere with us. Likewise, walking around with a pair of “tatas” (yep, still sounds like a potato snack) and drawing eye contact is hardly akin to jacking off.

  28. @27

    Of course it’s the same. I mean, look at you, walking around w/ those lovely things jiggling around for all to see, in a t-shirt or blouse, housed in such a beautiful soft bra…. Excuse me, I have to go jack off now. Don’t peek!

  29. Well, before my retirement, I took a CT bus from Everett to Seattle most workdays, for eight years, three months and 25 days.

    I usually sat at the front of the bus, and it was very amazing what one could see from time to time.

    If something was very titillating, I would say out loud, “LOOK AT THAT..!!” and point my finger in the intended direction. That would make the bus lean to one side as many people would get up and get close to a window for a better look.

    Yes, there were a lot of wankers.

    Every now and then, there would be a guy getting a BJ from a passenger, (males and females did this), and it always looked a tad cramped and uncomfortable, but satisfaction nonetheless.

    Seeing two people screwing was always startling. It is amazing what drivers can do while driving distracted or with impaired vision. Somehow they manage to concentrate on driving.

    The problem with all of this is the speed of the bus. The sideshows usually happened during slow or stop and go traffic, while the bus plodded along at 25 to 55 mph.

    Of course, if you are in the next car, stuck in the same traffic, watching such events could be a little more than entertaining.

  30. @ textthatappearsbelow

    Not surprisingly, women also participate in this phenomenon. I know from personal experience 😉
    In fact it’s probably a bit easier, especially in regards to clean-up.

  34. I was riding the 358 south on Aurora once and a guy was driving in a truck parallel with me for about 5 minutes with his dome light on and masturbating. Seems to happen fairly frequently.

  35. much easier to get away with as a woman. tight jeans, bumpy road – that’s all you need.

    the bumpy road isn’t a requirement, but it’s more fun.

  36. Back in the early 80’s there was a guy who would wank off next to our high school buses on the freeway, usually the 91. More often than not, it was the high school band going somewhere. Ah, those were such innocent times.

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