I hate that when your parents passed away, you pulled away from everything—except World of Warcraft. I hate that for the last year of his life, you often forgot to take your father-in-law to his doctor’s appointments because you were too busy in your fantasy world. I hate that when I tell people that my mother and I aren’t close because she is addicted to WOW, they laugh.
I hate that when I am visiting and want to do something with you, I have to organize it weeks in advance so you don’t have a “raid” scheduled. (What the hell is a raid, anyway? Wait, don’t tell me, I don’t really want to know.) I hate that you’ve passed your addiction on to my younger brother, and now he has failed out of college, gained 200 pounds, and is living at home so that he can use the high-speed internet you provide.
I hate that our family’s home is now a twisted real-world version of that episode of SeaQuest DSV where there are two kids left in the world and they only know how to interact through the internet. I hate that you won’t admit you have a problem and get help. And I hate that I don’t respect you anymore. 
wow!
Leave the gamers ALONE! They are BUSY!
And bring them a soda pop before you go…
Ooh, that’s a good one.
I hate that you are so jealous. You will never understand your mother like her clan mates do.
@1
pun intended…
Stories like this make me so glad that I was raised without any video games
I was all revving up the snark machine but really, that’s just sad.
The game isn’t the problem. It’s the symptom.
Bonefish – what will you blame your inevitable shooting spree on, if not video games?
Hey, you know what game I love to play? Permanent Global Economic Collapse. The endemic starvation and crushing poverty is a real hoot! Hoo-boy!
Hey, wait. Where’s the pause button? I was told there’s a pause button!
Beat ’em or join ’em, Anon. It could be worse.
Get the game, log on, say hi and meet them half-way. GGG anyone?
battyroy, maybe she doesn’t join them because she is a fully-functioning adult with real things to do. And maybe WOW and other such games are for children and idiots. GAL,(Get A Life), anyone?
I’m a non-gamer. I, personally don’t get any entertainment from them. That said, I’ve seen WoW bring people together and tear them apart. I sang at a WoW couple’s wedding.
The thing to distinguish is that it isn’t the game. Your mom is suffering from addiction. As with any addiction, whether it be booze, drugs, games, sex…whatever, most of these things “normies” can do in moderation without losing control or their lives becoming unmanagable.
As a person in recovery, I can only tell Anon that her mom is likely living in a world that is “safe” for her. The thought of giving up her WoW life, or facing her addiction is probably too scary to face, and until she hits a bottom, or is faced with a loving, sincere intervention, she will stay where she is, even as miserable and sad as it may be for the people around her.
My roommate is addicted to WoW. He plays for about five hours every weeknight after work, and then most of his waking hours on weekends. He’ll leave the house maybe once a month or so to hang out with people in person, but it’s always awkward because he has very poor social skills. I’ve voiced my concern for him in the past, but he seems to think that 40+ hours of gaming per week isn’t something to be concerned about. I think it would bother me less if he seemed to be happy.
@6 and 15
I was raised with video games and even work for a game company now but I don’t play nearly as often (not even close) as the mother in the I, Anon or the roommate of @17. I see the appeal of large worlds full of escapist entertainment but WOW is nothing I could ever get into: too much time spent clicking a mouse vs. going out snowboarding or mountain biking or hanging out with people, etc.
However, for you to demonize video games as a whole (of which there is a multitude of completely different genres, first of all) demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of people, of the reasons why people get into video games in the first place, and more importantly in this situation, of addiction. As others have pointed out, the problem is not the games themselves, it is a symptom of a larger problem. Anyone who says otherwise is just a reactionary in search of the latest and greatest scapegoat.
If your self-worth is determined by how “real” the things you do are and how much better of a person that makes you, then knock yourself out. But please, shut the fuck up about it, you snide little children.
That’s not funny, CTMCMULL. The starvation and poverty are necessary parts of the World Econ Machine. How else would we keep our edge? We need no pause button- we need a win button so we can always be assured of winning. Winning and ruling awesomely. Winning, ruling awesomely and kicking the most ass ever.
Hmm. Winning, eh? Sounds intriguing. Where may I purchase some of this “winning,” as you call it?
A friend of mine described it “I booted up WOW and three months just vanished.”
I love computer games, First Person Shooters and Real Time Strategy, specifically. Never been into the complex stats of what are ironically called Role Playing Games–in computer based RPGs, even MMORPGs there’s very little role playing going on.
(They are role-playing games when played by a table of buddies and involve pen, paper and dice. Then, usually, folks act out roles as if he was a hill troll, and not a college student talking to a foxy sea-elf, and not his regular physics study partner. It’s one step away from theater acting.)
I’d like to say with confidence that “it’s not the game, it’s the addiction” but that monthly subscription fee does encourage one to play as much as possible, just like an all you can eat buffet tends to encourage folks to stuff themselves.
@13
The only problem with that idea is that to be any fun to play with at all (for most serious gamers anyway, and the folks in this I, Anon certainly seem serious), you need to be as good as the people you play with, which takes a looooot of time, effort, and late nights in front of the computer surrounded by empty energy drink cans. Wait…did I say fun?
Good idea in theory, not so much in practice.
@ 4 : It’s Guildmates.
@ 10: Not deep, not insightful
@ anon: Break their computers.
WoW is designed to be as addictive as video games get. Every activity is structered to keep you playing for “just a few more minutes”, and there is always something that needs to be done due to cooldowns on abilities (think timers) that run on the real world clock.
Your loved ones are suffering from addiction, plain and simple. If it were alcohol or drugs you would intervene in a heart beat; don’t let the pleasing package of video gamery stop you from helping them now. If their behavior is destroying their real lives, then you need to tell them. If they refuse to stop, you need to leave them. Being the spouse of an addict can be as damaging as being an addict. You will get hurt, you will be bitter, and you will look back on this time of your life with regret if you don’t take action.
@ 14: It costs more than that. Factor in missed work days, unused potential, and health problem from an increasingly sedentary lifestyle, and the cost of WoW runs well into the thousands of dollars.
This is so my mother in law, except her addiction is second life. These addictions can be just as bad as booze and drugs for people. My mother in law has no job, lived off me, and got bed sores from sitting too much and playing her damn game. I finally had enough, and told my in-laws they had to move out. I gave them six months to get their shit together and move. They wasted all that time, and moved into a 1 bdrm apt with their son. They have no jobs, no income, and are still to young for Social Security. I’m all for people being in charge of their own lives, but some people will throw away everything just to play.
I recommend talking to a therapist. I got one. She saved my marriage, and helped us get to a point where we finally told them to leave, without feeling guilty. We tried everything, including making contracts where they spent only 5 hours on the internet, and the rest of the time out of the house (at a job, volunteer, or anything else), but they would lie to us and not do it. They would say they did, but then when I checked the network logs, I can see all the activity. It’s a hard road.
Some people honestly just need to get laid more often…
@#25: If they could get laid, they wouldn’t be playing WOW.
somebody needs to QUEEF A BEEFER!
I was married to a WoW addict for a while. It’s like any other addiction – some people can form a natural, healthy relationship with it; others get sucked in and won’t stay clean unless they quit cold turkey. Protip to gamers: if you insist on coming home from work every night to sit immediately at the computer until bedtime, every single day, don’t be expecting there to be any sex in the bed when you do drag your ass to it.
@17
It isn’t anything to be concerned with. Your roommate is still functioning (ie. going to work and who knows what else.) There is no law against someone enjoying an activity they participate in.
Maybe your roommate hates you and would rather stay in his room and play rather than be in your presence. Maybe your roommate doesn’t want to socialize in RL (real life for you non-gamers.) I wouldn’t blame him…people are stupid and there are alot of assholes out there.
I probably play as much as your roommate (and I am not ashamed to admit it.) Am I addicted? No. I just don’t enjoy “hanging out” with friends when all they do is smoke pot, drink and make asses of themselves. But I do play in a Billiards league, travel, joy ride on my scooter, go see concerts, etc. All things I enjoy, and gasp, all in the same lifetime as playing a MMO for many hours a week…
and finally, @ Anon (OP): fucking open your mouth! If you have a problem with someone you gotta say something! Stop whining about it and grow a set.
i love the seaquest dsv reference cuz nobody my age remembers that show but me
See what I mean? That’s what too many video games do to you: express any happiness that your childhood was spent outside and suddenly you’re some rabid foaming-at-the-mouth video game puritan with self worth issues. That’s what happens when people wrap too much of their identity in being “a gamer” rather than just being a normal person who plays video games or not.
@31 I don’t really play enough to qualify as a gamer and I haven’t wrapped up my identity in games. Besides, I grew up in the sticks and I’ve built enough tree forts and caught (and released) enough frogs to last me a lifetime, a fact I am, indeed, happy about.
The harshest of my comments were more directed toward @15, but you made a black and white statement and got a black and white answer, so don’t act so surprised.
How about “Stories like this make me realize that moderation is key and that this sample of one does not and cannot represent everyone’s experience.” What, too reasonable for you?
Blech
I don’t really see how this is any different from any other kind of addiction. Video games are just a means, not the culprit.
I mean, my mom was an alcoholic. Replace WoW with booze in Anon’s story and your have mine. She even bought my underage brother alcohol so he would drink with her.
That said, it IS addiction. Like @17 said about his roommate, it wouldn’t bother us if the addicts at least seemed happy.
Well, they’re not happy. When you know has a problem–abusive relationship, drugs, gambling, video games–tell them you’re concerned and encourage them to get help.
I haven’t seen a former “good friend” of mine in six years and gave up on keeping contact with her three years ago because of the WoW addiction. It seems to be a good place to hide if you don’t care to deal with the real world. I’ll pass on that and enjoy the sunshine and flowers instead.
that sucks so bad. Original poster, i’m really sorry. good luck. hope other things in your life are good.
How do you “give up” on a “good friend” and wtf is up with putting good friends in quotes? Are you being sarcastic and saying that you were never really friends in the first place? Cuz that’s how it comes off. Personally i think giving up on a good friend is either a sign that you weren’t good friends or that you’re a shitty human.
The going thought around here (which may or may not resemble actual scientific studies) is that psychological addiction is merely overuse of coping mechanisms.
From the harm-reduction standpoint (the at the level professionals cannot legally use) it’s commonplace to advise the use of dangerous coping methods in cases where not doing so will lead to more dangerous behavior. e.g. if a shot of brandy will keep you from shooting heroin, go for the brandy. If it won’t, yet a shot of heroin will prevent you from murdering someone, take the fucking heroin.
That said WOW is mild as addictions/coping methods go, and people don’t usually give up coping methods until they come across another that is better (e.g. more available, more effective, healthier). Generally, we want people to move from addictions to a single coping mechanism to a variety of diverse mechanisms that encourage (or at least allow) the person to fulfill basic human needs (food, sleep, social interaction, exercise). This is a part of the recovery model that is used in 12 step groups as well as many psychiatric institutes.
Of course, the ultimate goal with addictions is to address and resolve the issue that demands a coping method in the first place, but this objective is one requiring years of therapy, spiritual introspection, kung fu practice and meditation, whatever unlocks the gestalt.
Hey Growler, can I just beef your queefer?
@29: I think you missed the part where I said, “it would bother me less if he seemed to be happy.” If he seemed genuinely satisfied doing nothing but working and playing video games, then I’d be all for it. I’ve known him since he was ten; he’s like my little brother. I care about him and want him to be happy. But on the occasions he does come out of his room and talk to me, he expresses immense frustration with his job and genuine sadness about being single. He plays WoW because it’s something he feels he can control, unlike other areas of his life. That’s a trademark of addiction.
For the record, I wasn’t generalizing; I wasn’t suggesting that no one can play 40+ hours of video games per week and still be well-adjusted. I was speaking about one person in particular — a person I’ve known well, for a long time; someone you don’t know. Don’t project.
@ 26:
My man is a total crackhead for WoW, and we have great sex every single day. I never play and never will, but I don’t mind this addiction of his because 1. it is better than REAL crack 2. it does NOT affect our fantastic sex life 3. he really enjoys it and still takes the time to go to work (he is a commercial fisherman), take walks with me every day, do the dishes whenever I cook, run baths for me when I have bad days, and (most important) turn off the computer when he is getting ready to go out fishing for a few months so we can have quality time…
I Anon,
That sucks. The only thing you can do is tell her you think she is escaping into the game world because she never dealt with her parents death. Suggest she go to a bereavement counselor and focus on the real world more than the game. After that, it’s all up to her. If she doesn’t take your advice the only thing you can do is whatever makes you happy and if that means less time at home, so be it.
The saddest part is the brother who now shares her addiction. Way to parent. I wonder if CPS has any WOW, Facebook, or other electronic addiction cases where they intervene?