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Every time I go into a PCC around dinnertime, I see you: hemp pants, patchouli, knit cap, veggie/vegan, unshaved, with some foul smell emitting from your ugly mugs. I am so sick of watching you linger at the deli for more than 10 minutes as you sample almost every goddamn thing they have in the place. You try to play it off as a joke as you tap the glass and ask, “What’s that?” or “Ohhhh, doesn’t that look scrumptious?” You banter your stupid asses off while shoveling more and more samples into your gaping holes, totally ignoring the fact that, yes, everyone IS on to you as they look at you all with utter disgust. The poor PCC employees have to be nice and plaster on smiles as you ask for more and more sample cups, but trust me—they hate you even more than I do. There is no difference between you and those 300-pound pieces of shit at Costco shoveling their way through the lard-filled mecca of sample gluttony. Next time, I won’t be so kind when I politely order over you, your veggie rage building as I get a chicken leg. Next time, I’ll smack you across the face with that dead chicken carcass, you freeloading fucks. 
Wow.
I find the use of the term “300 pound pieces of shit”, in reference to human beings of any sort, disgusting. I am not in disagreement with the writer, but thia language is akin to calling someone fag or nigger in my book…
I agree. Obese Fatasses would work just as well.
My, my. Don’t we feel superior today?
ah, the fat debate again. are the extra pounds nature’s cruel joke, or were they nutured from cheese puffs, donuts, and 7up? perhaps a bit of both? let the debate begin. oh, and freeloading hippies don’t care if you don’t like it. they consider it a lifestyle.
@4: maybe anonymous feels superior because he/she has a job and some fucking purpose in life. Freeloading motherfuckers like those ‘hippies’ should be left to fucking starve in the gutter. If they get hungry, they can fucking cannibalize each other’s corpses.
They survive one the charity of others, even though they don’t need it. People who don’t NEED charity shouldn’t GET charity. Fucking useless wastes.
As for the lard ass cunts, if you’re rich enough to be fat, you’re rich enough to turn down any fucking free handouts. We ought to render them for lamp oil.
Can we get rid of the pain-in-the-ass people outside asking to support their cause? Do I want to help stop dog-fighting, save Puget Sound, save the whales, or save the trees? No, I would like to club baby seals, poop directly in the Sound, use blubber to power my year-round Christmas lights and write about it extensively with one word per page. Leave me alone. The Real Change guy can stay- he always smiles and tells me to have a great day. The Sierra Club, etc. though can go to hell. I donate to many similar causes regularly, but these a-holes are more akin to the aggressive panhandling that is being banned downtown. Or maybe show me your tits. Or lick my bunghole.
“Some dogs bay at the moon – others tree ‘possums.”
What a dick! This is one reason I avoid PCC,(besides the ridiculous prices) the shoppers there are apparently rich fuckholes. And what the hell is wrong with eating the samples at Costco? Isn’t that why they’re there?
Yes, they are freeloading hippies and they really irk me. But if you really want to about freeloaders how about the mega rich bankers and schemers making billions of dollars in bonuses and tax breaks while they live off the backs of the hard-working middle class.
Further proof that everyone inside a PCC is an insufferable twat. I hated having to shop there for so many reasons, but the non-stop posing was the worst. “Look at me! I eat organic! And take 3 hours to buy a week’s groceries!” I felt ashamed to be in the place.
“Get a job hippie!”
-E.C.
@Jim Stroche, who won’t “hide” behind anonymity because nobody on the internet ever has the potential to be stalked, murdered, or raped when they use their real names:
I’m not in disagreement with you, except on one point:
“As for the lard ass cunts, if you’re rich enough to be fat, you’re rich enough to turn down any fucking free handouts.”
In some countries, you’re right, being overweight or obese IS seen as being rich enough to afford food–and thus, an ample gut or ass is something to be coveted. (Or at least it is until they get mTV.)
However, in OUR country, the healthiest food is the most expensive, and the least healthy food is the least expensive. Fast food, for example, is aggressively marketed to the poor. Thus, it is entirely possible to be dirt poor in the United States and STILL be a “lard ass cunt,” as you so elegantly put it.
On the other hand, even those who can afford better often gorge themselves on worse, and those who can afford a Costco membership probably DO have enough money to eat more healthily. So you’re not entirely wrong.
I would watch the rage, though. That’s as much a killer as clogged arteries.
So says the PCC shopping douche nozzle…
Amen to that. Die Hippie!
You stinkpots aren’t fooling anyone.
Also, stop wearing those damn KEXP hoodies.
Everyone knows you’ve never donated a dime so stop frontin chump!
If PCC or Costco or wherever else can’t afford to give out samples, they will stop giving them out.
In the meantime, I will eat as many samples as I can get away with.
The hatred…my god. @10 is on the right track; we’re all getting fucked while we hate each other for petty reasons. Freeloading hippies don’t bother me–ill-will, greed, and ignorance do.
@18: Well said.
In Anon’s defense: pieces of shit shove people out of their way, nearly run over small children with their carts, and block entire aisles in order to get free samples at Costco. The majority happen to be in the 300lb range. The others can be called 120-299lb pieces of shit if you like.
@16 PCC is presumably paying for the samples they give at the deli counter, but end-of-aisle samples at Costco and grocery stores are generally paid for by the company/brand that is being sampled.
Hey, writer, you’re a hippie. You’re more of a poser than the dude eating the free shit. “Oh, I’m so offended by your hippieness”–spoken like a true hippie trying to act tough. You just sound pissed off because someone kept you from your overpriced deli crap. But you don’t know where else to shop, because, well, you’re a hippie, whether you like it or not. Neener neener neener, you’re a hippie, you hippie-assed hippie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
One hippie hates another hippie, boo hoo…I cared until you stopped focusing on shitty behavior (asking for endless samples, not showering) and started making fun of anybody you find unattractive.
I love this I, Anonymous.
Can I get another sample for my son?
What’s PCC?
And I agree with the sentiment of the writer’s rant. Basically it’s an attack on some rude assholes that are wasting everyone else’s time. Whether it be in line while some assface is babbling/ texting on their phone and then going, “oh wait, I need to pay now” while the cashier is waiting for them expectantly or the like.Doesn’t matter if they are hippies, black, hipsters or aliens.
It’s simply just RUDE.
Fuckin A right. And Mint Chocolate Chip, you sound like a pretentious, splooge-filled Seattle cunt.
You know what would be awesome? Booze samples at the booze store!
Or blowjob samples at the blowjob store!
Seattle must be a very strange place. Where I live, people giving out free samples in the grocery store have to practically beg people to try them because everyone knows they are just trying to get you to buy the product.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, skippy – let’s not go off half-cocked and trash the free samples at Costco. My idea of a perfect Sunday is free sampling every aisle, then it’s off to get my $1.50 hot dog and Coke. Heaven.
@7 – could not agree more. I can and do actively go out of my way to shop at places I can get into unmolested. I feel like I’m running a gauntlet almost every time I go to a grocery or drug store in Seattle. The little cookie-mafia types just lately, but also the Real Change people, the spangers, the petition people, the canvassers, gaaaah! They have all entrances/exits covered and all I want to do is get some groceries, or a toothbrush at the drug store, dammit. I’m thinking about DINNER, not forests, not dogs, not whales, not buying a newspaper, not cookies. DINNER. I do donate to causes I choose, through the United Way, which takes some damn forethought.
People in Seattle get so angry about the stupidest things. It seems like everyone’s walking around just waiting to explode at each other for having bad habits that people everywhere have. This is not that big a deal.
What’s PCC? Is that like Whole Foods? Worse?
FAKE
Glad I don’r live anywhere near Seattle.
@35: The same problems exist everywhere. It’s not a Seattle-specific epidemic.
They have really yummy brunch samples at the new QFC in Ballard!
:p
@2
get over it. your book sucks.
“People in Seattle get so angry about the stupidest things.”
We’ve been telling them to go back to Pittsburgh for years but they won’t leave. Most of the “assholes” in Seattle are from elsewhere.
@30…….try living in cape town where people are begging you for money at every street corner. EVERY STREET CORNER. quit your bitchin’. at least you have a PCC or a Whole Foods or a Madison Market or QFC or a Larry’s Market or a FARMERS MARKET to shop at. hell, i miss Safeway.
Hippie and hypocrite have been synonyms in most of my life experiences. But really, who cares? Annoying, self-centered simulations of real people can be found in every category. It is best to just sit back and enjoy the performance.
Dang- I just woke up people… I’m so glad that I don’t own a television any more, this is much more entertaining. I feel kinda guilty for reading it, and frankly, sadly, kind of enjoying it. (I guess that’s what I anonymous is all about)But please, please, please, do yourself a favor and get a blowjob, or your pussy licked, or something… I SWEAR it will make you feel better-
Hey, how many of you PCC-hating, stone-throwing assholes shop at your local QFC… the Kroger corporation’s local experiment in market penetration and price-gouging.
Take 5 minutes in both stores and do a price-comparison some time. Especially if you want to buy ANYTHING that isn’t on “QFC card” special.
Oops — you’ve been wasting money at QFC this whole time! Middlebrow Seattle dumbshits.
To those of you who do not live in Seattle… PCC is a co-op kind of grocery specifically designed for the organic vegetarian/vegan crowd. Though they sell meat, it’s “natural, organic, free-range” type meat. Very expensive but good quality food.
The only thing more disgusting than a person abusing PCC is PCC itself.
This chain stands for Pretentious Corrupt Cororation, and have lost its soul years ago. Should have been called Wolpmart after Dick Tracy Wolpert who was appointed democratically, then slowly but surely built his dictatorship.
Boycott PCC or, better yet, abuse it!!!
It sounds like the author should refrain from going to PCC around dinnertime.
And she needs to be fucked. BIG TIME.
Boycott PCC
The only thing more disgusting than a person abusing PCC is PCC itself.
This chain stands for Pretentious Corrupt Corporation, and have lost its soul years ago. Should have been called Wolpmart after Dick Tracy Wolpert who was appointed democratically, then slowly but surely built his dictatorship.
Boycott PCC or, better yet, abuse it!!!
I get so tired of the same tropes being trotted out.
Compare anything PCC carries to the same item at QFC (whether it falls into QFC’s “natural” sections or not): the PCC price will be 30-40% less. Compare PCC to Whole Foods: it’s 40-50% less.
Sure, organic meat costs more than processed-corn-poured-down-the-throat-in-a-feedlot cows. But even there, PCC charges less than QFC for the organic stuff!
Unlike QFC and Whole Foods, PCC doesn’t see conscientious shoppers as a niche demographic to gauge and exploit, but rather as its primary customer base and therefore worth treating with respect and loyalty. Those of you ragging on PCC and wasting your money at QFC are certified morons.
That’s “gouge,” not “gauge.”
Chill out. They’re just trying to get to another day and maybe find some level of happiness in this screwed up existence. What’s a little bit of food to a PCC fer Christ’s sake??? C’mon. Love your neighbor.
You know why they do it? Because they get away with it. Next time shove them aside so you can get your stuff and get on with your life. Slackers, moochers, hippies. S’all the same.
@46: What gave you the idea that the author of this I, Anonymous was a hard-up woman? (Personally, I think it sounds like a man.) Or that sex solves anger management issues? If you’re a sex therapist, I think your license should probably be taken away–or at the very least, you might want to rethink your prescription.