You used Papyrus as a font on your wedding invite. We can get past that. Asking for money instead of gifts so you can fund your honeymoon AND your fucking trip to Burning Man? It’s tacky and obnoxious, but I’ll let it slide. But charging for food, booze, and “carnival games”? Encouraging people to bring a guest… as long as the guest pays 20 bucks into a “wedding gift box” at the door?! The note encouraging photographer-friends to work for free and send you digital files was a nice touch. But this part’s REALLY special: I found out that some people got a “ticket” with their invitation, entitling them to a wristband and a VIP area with free food. You have been going to shitty festivals for too long and you are confused. I am not going to pay at the door, pay for my drinks, pay for food, watch you get married, and then watch other people get into the VIP area. I can’t wait to see what kind of hustle you’re gonna try to pull when you get knocked up. Guess what: If you can’t afford a big fancy wedding, you have a potluck and a ceremony in the backyard with your closest friends. Sure, maybe you couldn’t invite everyone and throw a carnival, but it would be meaningful and wouldn’t leave half the people you know horrified and embarrassed. 
I, Anonymous
Your Wedding Sucks
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Yuck. That wedding sounds appalling.
Wedding-fundraiser.
Sounds like the worst wedding EVER, I bet the bride gets pissed off about writing thank you notes too
Auction off the first night!! Commit!
It’s cool, Anonymous, your “Thank You” card is in the mail!
Hahaha. That really is tacky. Are there no parents or in-laws to put a stop to that mess? But you have also committed a crime. “Invite” is a verb.
@4, that would be appropriate. As a fall-back, I hope the bride and groom consumated the marriage in full view as the crowning event of the evening. Carnival games aren’t worth $20.
I guess I’m tacky, but I don’t see the problem asking for money rather than household items. The traditional wedding gift harkens back to a day when couples weren’t living together in sin for years before getting married.
That said, charging for food is really unacceptable.
2 wedding deals in a row? Starting a theme for this column?
Charging people for the privilege of attending your wedding?! Holy shit. That is the most repulsive display of egotism I’ve heard of in a long time.
This is so hilarious, I can’t believe it. The bride’s bad taste knows no bounds. Is she going to have bouncers at the VIP area? “I vow to love, honor, and kick my guests’ butts.”
This definitely calls for a food fight – hey – you paid for it!
You know I’m trying to kick my habit of leaving such negative posts here. I’m going to try to give this Anon the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she’s just found a really creative way of shortening the guest list?
ooh…shoot..I meant the Anon’s target: the Bridezilla
i was at that wedding, and a VIP. didn’t spend a dime. got drunk as fuck, and nailed a bridesmaid. BOOOOOOYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Did they supply an atm machine wrapped in a bow for the last minute withdrawals that some guest might “want” to make?
Only “half”?
So, the invitations MEAN to tell people “I want you at the wedding, but I also want remind you that you’re in the ‘out crowd'”?
Sounds like the happy couple are still mentally in high school and still want to decide who gets to sit at the “cool kids table” in the lunchroom of life.
Some of my younger friends have attended similar events, including equally creepy fundraiser style bridal showers designed to try to scrape in more money. I suspect the bridezilla learned of such things from the internet.
I don’t remember anything this tacky 20 years ago. But maybe I just didn’t know the wrong people.
I know no-one will read down this far, but…
What’s your beef with Papyrus font?
@9: Yeah. I was thinking: Money can also be a cultural tradition. Chinese weddings? Italian and Portuguese? And probably others.
That said, if I wrote “cash preferred”, I’d still have a registry for those who might want to use it and completely understand if people felt more comfortable giving a gift and not overtly revealing how much they’re able to afford for me. Making your guests comfortable should be a priority of any host/hostess.
@16: Ditto! Kind of surreal.
@10: I think it’s just that time of year.
EWWWWWWW!
Now, I admit to being so snippy and old fashioned that I still view gift registries with a certain amount of suspicion, though I’m not sure how else a couple is supposed to make their preferred china and silver patterns known. (It IS a quandry because these days chances are slim that a guest knows at least one set of parents and half of the bridesmaids well enough to ring them up and ask “So, what would Jim and Susie like as a wedding gift?”)
But this- this is beyond the pale.
The use of the Papyrus font is the least offensive thing this Anon. mentions…. and I fear for the children produced by this couple. I’m imagining them charging 5 bucks a head for family and friends to attend their kindergarten pagent and shaking people down at birthdays, holidays and graduations.
To the couple: Guess what? Life is NOT a game of Monopoly- you are not owed a bonus for reaching the milestones.
@21, in design circles, it’s very vogue to shit on “decorative” fonts like Papyrus and poor, beleaguered Comic Sans…
That being said, though they ARE fairly tacky fonts that should never be used professionally, it’s JUST a wedding invite.
& @7: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/i…
It’s cool, I think we can say that Slog vernacular is decidedly “informal.”
LeBeau, I think you meant, “Life is not a game of Life.”
That said, i wish I knew these people so I could bring along some drunks and methheads and crash the gate. If they are going to charge festival prices, they should learn that they have to have festival security too.
I know several couples that I am amazed, given some of the collective egos, didn’t charge people to go to their weddings.
@7 These people are clearly the products of broken homes, possibly abused as children. Either that, or raised by wolves. They obviously have no idea about the foundation of a lasting marriage.
@9 and @22 You can’t actually ask for anything, cash or gifts. A wedding is not an opportunity to shake down your friends and relatives. You may create a gift registry and *hope* people will be kind enough to give you something, but no one is obligated to give the happy couple anything. That’s why they are called presents instead of payment. @22 makes a ggod point that in some cultures money is a traditional gift, but it is still a present. These people sound horrible, Anonymous has every reason to be outraged and call them on it.
Bridezilla is a cunt. I don’t use that word lightly.
@7: “invite” is an acceptable abbreviation for the noun “invitation”.
@16: Yes, there are people this tacky. I’ve known some. Bell curve…
I hope that the concepts of “wedding gifts” and “parents of the bride pay for the wedding” are becoming passe. I find the showzilla idea of weddings offensive and wasteful, and at the age of most wedding couples gifts are just unnecessary. Unsolicited gifts are welcome, but gifts should never be required. If you don’t have enough money for a honeymoon, save up and go later. My “honeymoon” has been romantic getaways to various McMenamin’s accommodations.
If parents want to chip in for a wedding, that’s cool, but expecting it when you’re 25 or 30 is just ridiculous. Are you an adult or not?
(departs from soapbox–just my opinion, ya know?)
@ 9, asking for money instead of presents is always tacky, regardless of the occasion.
Following up my thought @ 31, there are some cultures where that’s traditional as @ 22 points out. But this couple is obviously going way beyond that.
@9 and @22, one way to “ask for cash” without really asking for cash is to use one of these “honeymoon registry” sites they have nowadays. You register for nights at your hotel, dinners, activities, etc., but it’s really just a cash gift — the person buying it feels like they’re actually buying something and not just giving cash, though. I’ve definitely appreciated this as a guest, because I hate just giving cash, for some reason.
I would be willing to bet my left arm that this couple did not go that route, however.
Given the people I know in the Burner circles, I wonder what number marriage this is for each of them. Also, I give it 3 years.
Charging at the door for your wedding party is tacky no matter what. But, making money off your friends is the burner way…regardless of whether you have anything to actually contribute.
Oh, and I have no problem giving just cash. It saves me a lot of hassle because I hate shopping. And, a lot of people I know who are on their first marriage could truly use the money for things like rent, food, gas, electricity, beer, etc instead of purely materialistic things they may not be able to fit into their current 500 sq ft apartment.
@31. Depends how it’s done. Opening a registry is no different from saying “hey, help us buy stuff we need” (or as 9 pointed out, “we don’t really need because we already have two sets of everything)”.
Asking for money specifically for your honeymoon (not to pay your utility bills. That would be tacky) is saying “help us spend some memorable time together”.
Stupid Americans!
@ 36, good point.
@34 – good insight. Glad I’m not part of the inner, outer, or known circle of anyone like these schnozzles. Burn the man (and woman), indeed.
I would have turned around and left….seriously, who else here would have to, raise your hands
stating a preference for cash seems fine, but the rest of it…yuck! The VIP section is especially horrible.
@41 I probably would have stayed and had fun. However, there is no chance in hell I would have bought them a present. Pay for a meal/drink/entertainment and then give them cash too? No freakin’ way.
@41 I probably would have stayed and had fun. However, there is no chance in hell I would have bought them a present. Pay for a meal/drink/entertainment and then give them cash too? No freakin’ way.
As soon as I saw no free liquor that invitation would have went right in the trash.
yeah – I just got married last year. The weddings I went to that were dry or cash bar were the least fun. These people came a long way to see me get hitched, the least I can do is wine, dine, and throw a good party!
We did the registry thing, also got a fair amount of cash: all the thank you notes for cash included a note about what we spent it on (I got a great stove). Like anyone was going to by me a $2k stove….? 🙂
Yeah, it’s tacky as sh!t, but at least they’re spelling out their price. If it’s worth that price to you ($20 is a good deal–if that’s the stated charge, I’d take it) then go. If not, then I guess you’re busy that night washing your hair. Personally I think it sounds like a great opportunity to drop these people. But that’s just me being a hater.
BTW, @29 and @31 are right. A wedding is a party you throw for your guests to thank them to take time off and fly somewhere to watch you you you on your big day. Any gifts they may bring or send are just gravy.
A discreet registry, information supplied only upon request, is OK. But that’s it. Gifts are never mentioned on an invitation.
I have no problem with a cash bar (well, that’s not true, obviously I’d rather be at a reception without a cash bar than with one). There is such a thing as a flask, you know. Sometimes extended families are religious, and sometimes there’s not enough money in the budget, etc., etc. I consider that to be about a 3 out of 10 on the tackiness scale (having guests pay for food is a 10, the VIP area is an 11).
@47 it seemed that the $20 was on top of whatever gift you gave them for the extra guests.
@49 the only way the VIP area isn’t tacky is if it’s for the talent who are doing it pro Bono.
Just because you don’t like how one couple is planning their wedding doesn’t mean you have the right to discriminate against the rest of us burners. That being said, I’ll admit that I personally wouldn’t sell tickets to my wedding but it’s their wedding! They have the right to do what they want or pay for it however they want. If people don’t like it, then don’t go.
Asking photographer friends to work for free – I think it’s better than leaving disposable cameras on the tables for guests to use. I’ve always hated that tradition!
Charging money for carnival games – more fun then pimping the bride to earn a dollar every time she dances with some drunk guy at the reception!
@51 You are a prime example of the reason I left the burner community.
Discriminate the whole burner community? Hyperbole much? Bitch, please. Denigrate, Belittle, Disparage, maybe… But discriminate? Fuck off. Nobody said the rude motherfuckers couldn’t do what they wanted…but I would sure bitch them out.
Fuck you burning raver hippies. I saw my wedding as an opportunity to have a kick ass family reunion and it was. I could give two shits I’m still paying for it two years later.