I, Anonymous

1. @Bitch: “J242 sorry but you sure sound like him. If you’re not him then good, b/c H and J don’t need to be reading all this crap and wasting their time with this. I have been to plenty of the parties at the house and have never been charged to get into any of them.”

   I am most definitely not him and if you had been to the most recent Halloween or Superbowl parties you would have most likely met me and remembered me from things I mentioned like having met my girlfriend in New Orleans while traveling with the groom… As for them not needing to read this, I would agree but it’s way past too late for that. They’ve known for a little while and understandably aren’t exactly jumping with joy over this…

   “I also gather you are a VIP and that is also why this does not seem so rude to you, since you were not told to bring a bunch of $1’s in order to drink/eat/play games.”

   Wouldn’t have mattered to me one bit. I’m still planning on buying one of the infamous hot dogs I’ve heard so much about and paying for a drink or two like I would at any concert, “rave”, fundraiser or other event that I would want to go to. The fact that this happens to be a wedding doesn’t change my view of it at all. This is going to be a huge party and I’m accustomed to paying for food, beverage & misc fun that is outside of the “show”…

2. In a burner way, it’s all making retarded sense. But, most burners know that there should be at least one paid photographer and videographer so that there is controlled, complete, coverage while the rest take photos at their leisure.

   The VIP thing is still da suck.

   And, as for the food cost and cover. If the B&G accept that the cover charge and the food cost is their present (as suggested by the invitation) and expect no more than a $20 check from every guest, then that’s fine. Etiquette states that your present is supposed to cover the cost of your plate (plates if you are a +1) of food (at least, which is generally $40 a head), so this is far cheaper.

   Making your wedding a festival is OK, as long as you don’t expect the gifts that come with a wedding…and just want the cover charge as well as the food charge and the liquor charge.

   Having a cash bar really sucks though.

3. @Joemomma:

   “Please, fill us in–how do you operate your business with $0 in overhead?”

   Very easily, it’s on the side and I’ve paid off my equipment 5 fold since I bought it just a few short years ago.

   “Did $20,000 in camera gear fall out of the sky into your lap? Along with $10,000 in computer, monitor, storage and back up systems?”

   Nope, I bought equipment as the need for it arose and my professional gigs for bands, vegas casinos, real estate groups, tech companies and more have more than paid it off so it was only ever money out of pocket for at most a week.

   “Where do you get office space for free?”

   My home with a dedicated office section. I meet clients at their respective businesses, I would never expect them to come to me.

   “Please tell me which company insures you and your equipment for free?”

   Again, covered by how much I make, I’m not worried about it because for me to go out and shoot this event doesn’t cost me a penny. I’ll be there enjoying it, I’ll just happen to be viewing a good portion of the night through the lens of my HDR.

   “Also, who does your accounting for free?”

   I do my own as it’s not very difficult as long as you keep track of your expenses & income… Do you honestly think that everyone requires a CPA? I guess the ad firms that handle the tax prep groups have been really effective on you, it’s really not hard and only takes me about 6 hours of prep before filing. Sheesh…

   “The 12 (min) to 40 (average) hours spent shooting and editing for the greedy, douchey B&G are 12 to 40 hours not spent with paying clients.”

   I would be there regardless so your point is moot. Also, I work on two or three projects a month if that and I’m sorry but if it takes you or anyone you know 12 to 40 hours to edit down 6 hours of footage and a few hundred photos that’s just pathetic. No wonder you expect it to cost so much, the people you deal with don’t have a clue what they’re doing! I can take a 5 cam rig and have a 45 minute live concert synched, chopped, timed, and the proper 5.1 mux tested & published within 2 days of importing the footage at 6 to 7 hours a day at the most. Before you try to suggest anything about potential quality or whatnot, my high-end clientele have no complaints, nor do their customers/fans/investors and you’ve probably seen my work and not even realized it. lol

   “How does any of this equal free?”

   If I want to give them this memory as a present and my coworkers are going to be there as well and also are all onboard to film this then it doesn’t cost me even 1 penny to film this and with owning all of my own equipment it doesn’t cost me 1 penny to capture, edit, master & produce either expect for the eventual printing/packaging costs which I’ll be putting in as it’s a gift for the B&G…

4. @TheBride’sMaid:

   “I suggest that we go about enjoying this beautiful day with the amazing friends we have. Lets let the rest of these angry, bitter people with far too much time on their hands, have this posting board to vent their petty frustrations. This is just silliness, in the grand scheme of things, none of this will matter.”

   You’re right, I’m done here. I’ve said my piece and haters will be haters no matter what is said or how much detail one gives explaining things. Thanks for the quick reality check so I can get back to planning things for this kick-ass upcoming wedding party! Still have to get the costumes wrapped up for my girlfriend and I! 😉

5. Jesus, the I, Anon forum has so many posts. I think because so many of us have been offended by, or forced to sit through bed weddings it provokes some spirited responses.

   TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM: you guys have given plenty of free entertainment at your expense right here on this post and in I, Anonymous. For this, you get a pass. We WILL be watching and said pass will be revoked if this is your birth announcement. I wish you Love & Light for the rest of your time together.

6. Love that the defense of mentioning cash repeatedly on the invite and charging for food and drink and having a VIP area is: “no no, we’re only charging STRANGERS 20 dollars at the door!”
   Way to miss the point.

7. @ j242, where is it written that you give up your seat on the bus for an elderly lady? Where is it written that you don’t cut in front of someone in line? Where is it written that you should cover your mouth when you sneeze?

   Rules don’t have to be written to be real. That’s why you’re alone and the whole world is against you.

   Don’t worry about my friends. I didn’t charge them to party at my wedding, so they’re all cool with me.

8. All I have to say is the article is right on. I am an invited VIP guest and am totally horrified by the way this has been presented. The bride has set up everything and the one thing the groom actually does is so tasteless my +1 and I are considering not attending (+1’s get in free to VIP area according to the VIP ticket). It is pretty amazing that an invitation can be so off putting that we are now not wanting to go watch a friend get married. That is how obnoxious this whole thing is. Just amazing.

9. When I first read this I was dumb-founded and offended, then I re-read it and realized the piece I had overlooked which made it all make sense and helped me understand how the fuck someone could pull this kind of tacky, borish, bawdy shit- “AND your fucking trip to Burning Man?”

   Fucking burners

10. This reminds me of something my cousin back in Michigan had, but not the wedding, it was a bachelor party they called a stag party, people sold tickets for 20.00, they had a bunch of kegs and a mud bog! and your ticket was entered into a raffle drawing for a rifle, Then the money he made, a couple grand, paid for the honeymoon and the bar bill for the reception. My family out there you might call them ultra hicks, but it seems they have far more class than this group, to have a cover charge or expect people to pay for their food at a wedding reception. Seriously? they actually stated on the invite that they want people to help pay for a “trip” to burning man? No one would actually do that right? What has the world come to when someone actually asks on a wedding invitation to finance a trip to a rave??!?!

11. I, too, got a VIP pass. I also recently got an email explaining that only strangers get charged the 20 dollars. I can’t believe they don’t understand the larger picture here. It’s pretty disgusting. My plus one said “if we go it’s not like we’re supporting this or…..uh….right?” We just stared at eachother.
    We’re not going.

12. @still not getting it: I hear ya, we have decided to go just b/c we have known them for so long and we would like to see them get married, but we are not giving a gift at this point and time.

13. Wow! This sounds like an AWESOME wedding! It sounds like the b&g have gone to a lot of effort to make this a damn cool event, for themselves & for all of their friends & family. Wanting guests to help out with the food & drink costs? i really don’t see what the big deal is. These are their FRIENDS, who obviously love & appreciate them & are happy to give back.
    i’m not sure what universe most of you are living in; but in my world, friends help friends out. i don’t know ANYONE who lives by societal norms, etiquette or expectations. We think & do for ourselves. And if my good, kind & generous friends wanted to have an amazing event like this to celebrate their union, not a single person that i know would balk at helping in any way. For me, in the past, that has meant gladly providing free photography, editing & prints for 2 weddings & 2 births. It’s what friends DO!
    It also sounds like this couple has a very large acquaintance base, hence the need to ask for a contribution from those not invited. And if anyone bothered to read the actual invitation posted here in the comments, what they said was that they did not want gifts, instead, they wanted money for the honeymoon & burning man. That IS the gift.
    Again, fuck all this etiquette & “rules”, shit. Some people don’t care in the slightest about that crap. i say Congratulations to these 2 for planning such an amazing & unconventional experience for their day & for their friends enjoyment.Best of luck…And i hope that you make it to BM. Blessings!

14. I fucking KNEW someone was going to chime in with something like “it’s unconventional! Think outside the box! Who needs etiquette!” in order to defend mentioning cash several times on an invitation and all the other clueless bullshit that is going on here.
    It’s possible to have a creative, modern, interesting wedding and not act like a rude douchebag. Don’t act like it’s radical or creative to blatantly hit people up for cash. It’s stupid and embarrassing.

15. 117,

    It’s also unconventional to ask the bride for a blowjob in the RSVP, but that doesn’t make it ok.

16. TO ALL YOU DEFENDERS OF THIS WEDDING:

    GET A FUCKING GRIP. NOONE’S SAYING THE BRIDE AND GROOM ARE BAD PEOPLE, BUT FOR FUCK’S SAKES ADMIT THAT ASKING PEOPLE TO PAY FOR YOUR WEDDING AND HONEYMOON IS VERY FUCKING LAME. IT JUST IS. NOT SAYING YOU ARE LAME.

    IF YOU DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE REACT THE WAY THEY DO TO YOUR WEDDING, THEN YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY DILUSIONAL AND ARE PROBABLY SOCIALLY RETARDED.

17. and think about this for just a second….

    your invite was so retarded that someone had to write in to a public paper to show off its unreal bullshit. AND invitees are commenting their own distaste and thinking about not going to your ‘wedding’. think about that. step outside yourself for a second and think.

    i’m just glad i don’t know your self asses. seems you really don’t mind using your friends to fund your trips to……burning man? are you fucking kidding me? get help.

18. If the bride and/or groom were people that you care about, none of this should bother you. I, for one have often wished I could’ve contributed somehow to a couple’s wedding to make it possible for them to invite me so that I could share with them their special day, but since tradition has long held that the family pay for the guests, weddings have become smaller as people struggle in these hard times. You don’t know the full story behind their decision. Perhaps the people who received tickets were people who were already helping to fund the wedding. And again, if these are people that you care about, wouldn’t you want to make sure they have a gift from you that is needed and most appreciated? I don’t see the difference between a mention of a registry or suggestion of cash. What difference does it make what they spend it on? But wouldn’t you want them to have a nice honeymoon? It sounds like the bride and groom may have made a big mistake by inviting you and assuming that you are a person who cares about them. Since you quite obviously have no love for them, why wouldn’t you just decline the invitation? It was meant for loved ones. I have to wonder why the bride and groom made such a terrible mistake in thinking that you are their friend. I hope they are soon made aware of your duplicity and drop you from any future guest lists. Your article said so much more about you than it did about the bride and groom.

19. Yeah, lgrrrl. It says he/she doesn’t want stupid, selfish friends. Something tells me there wont be any “duplicity” to uncover (no one in their right mind would remain friends with these douches) and that he/she wont miss not being on future “guest lists.” Boo fucking hoo. What a terrible loss.

20. @117 – you are completely right!

    And to the Bride and Groom, if your reading this, you need to re-evaluate some of your friends.

21. @117 – “what they said was that they did not want gifts, instead, they wanted money”. Wait, what the fuck. Since when is money not a gift? How is this an argument? Asking for cash is just as tacky as asking for a gift, if not moreso.

    Ergh. I don’t get what is so freakin’ hard about this. Asking for gifts/cash directly (i.e., on an invitation) is tacky. Full stop. Though there is the expectation that in most cases, a gift/money will be given, it is rude to assume that someone’s going to do so. There are all kinds of ways to get around this (the most popular nowadays being a wedding website with travel & event information, that also as the couple’s registry information listed on it).

22. check it out, 124 is proud of being on the “VIP” list. This is so fucking gross…..

23. I’m acting as a bridesmaid in a wedding next month that lots of people are outraged over. The venue is a cottage that’s a 2 hour drive out of town, guests are expected to bring their own food and drinks and TENTS since there isn’t enough room for everyone (150+ guests) to sleep in the cottage. The couple also had a “stag and doe” (a pre-wedding fundraiser where people pay to play games and buy drinks) a couple of months ago.

    So yeah, a lot of friends think their idea for a wedding is extremely tacky. I personally don’t think your wedding should ask as much of people as they are asking of their guests. That being said, if you don’t want to go to the wedding, you don’t have to go. I don’t see the point in being morally outraged. The couple didn’t actually DO anything to anyone, other than send out invitations to a wedding that people can either choose to attend or not.

24. I think the big mistake the bride and groom made here was calling their ‘event’ a wedding. If you are going a non-traditional route, take a lesson from the fags and lesbos and call it something else. That way you can avoid all of the emotional/historical baggage and expectations that come with the words ‘marriage’ and ‘wedding’ – and you can strike out and do your own thing.

    That said, I agree with the posters who toss away wedding invitations for cash bar weddings, gift required engagement parties, or stag parties that require a major cash outlay. If someone is having a ‘traditional’ marriage then the booze needs to come as part of the package.

    In my twenties I went to every crappy wedding, stag party and engagement party I was invited to out of some sense of social obligation, even though cash was very tight for me at the time. It has pretty much turned me against the institution of marriage in a big way. Not only was I expected to travel long distances and buy gifts for all of these weddings, most of these couples never bothered to return the favour when my partner and I formalised our domestic partnership a few years later. I was often seated out in Siberia, with the third-cousins and work colleagues of the bride and groom, and was usually at the last table for the buffet that was intentionally under-stocked to save cash. Then, on top of it, I have to pay more for a glass of bad wine than I would in a bar. In defence of some of the posters, so many of us have had so many experiences like this, how can we not get annoyed to receive an invitation to a ‘wedding’ like this.

    Seriously – if you are having a ‘wedding’ then treat your guests right, or scale it back or don’t do it at all. This sounds more like a ‘celebration’ or ‘kick ass party that happens to relate to our marriage’ or whatever – perhaps you should have called it that. That said, it sounds like it might be a fun party. Good luck putting it together.

25. I’m hoping that everyone who’s commented here knows about the
    follow up Slog post. Some stranger writers are going to be writing up the wedding for a Party Crasher column!

    This will be amazing. Prepare to be amazed.

26. @127 You’re wrong in that the couple DID do something to every one of their non-VIP attendees: they made sure they knew they were not part of the inner circle. What’s more, is most couples are hurt, or pass judgement on people, if you don’t make it to the wedding.

    Your friends are amazingly greedy. Really. Having a pre-wedding fundraiser AND a BYOEverything, including lodging, destination wedding where they also expect presents. Unless they are the poorest friends in your circle, I’d be rightously pissed at their arrogance.

    But, that’s just me.

27. @ 127, what @ 130 said.

    Here’s a clue to people like you and j242. When you go through life, every now and then you piss people off. So how do you know whether you’re really being an asshole?

    Well, if only one or two people are mad, then it’s probably their problem. But when LOTS and LOTS of people are pissed at your actions, that’s a very good sign that you’re the asshole, even if you have a few people sticking up for you.

28. @130

    Pre-wedding fundraisers (or stag and does) are actually really common where I grew up — most people have them. My husband and I didn’t have one when we got married because we didn’t feel like we needed one.

    Also, when I said the couple really didn’t do anything to anyone, I was talking about the couple whose wedding I’m attending. But you could argue that when you ask certain friends to stand up as your attendants in a typical wedding, you’re inviting them to be part of an “inner circle” that all your other friends are excluded from. Most people don’t feel that way though because they’re so used to that tradition.

    @131 I don’t think the couple I’m talking about knows that lots of people are pissed off at them because nobody has confronted them. The people choosing not to come to the wedding have just bit their tongues and made excuses, but remained friendly toward them.

29. @132 Where you grew up, do people have both fundraisers AND BYOEverything weddings?

    Also, that people are just biting their tongues while being pissed shows how honest and good your friends are.

30. As someone who knows the Bride (and Groom) personally and will be attending the wedding, all of you speculating on what kind of person she is when you don’t fucking know her, you people and your disgusting disrespectful bullshit are what I find tacky. It’s not your fucking wedding. Yes it is a party, a party in which $20 was “humbly requested” (as it says on the fucking invitation), not required IF YOU HAVE AN INVITATION! It also says that they DO NOT HAVE A WEDDING REGISTRY and do not want gifts, you fucking tools. So no it wont be “Did you put your $20 in the wedding box?” It will be a heartfelt thank you, as that’s just the kind of person she is.

    And yes she is very cool with having people that she doesn’t know at her reception, because she’s used to her friends bringing everyone and their brother to her parties, eating all of their food, drinking all of their booze, sleeping on their couches, never staying to help clean up, etc. Also, this is going to be at a public venue. So if some random person comes to the door and wants to hear the music, play the games, see the entertainment, eat the food and imbibe the alcohol that the B&G spent a lot of time and energy organizing so their friends and family can have a good time, yes they pay $20. But they still get to be a part of it.

    As for the VIP room, there are several dozen people invited to this wedding, so to have a special area for the B&G’s family, close friends, and the rest of the wedding party is not tacky to me at all, as I’ve been to several “traditional” weddings in which the wedding party has a closed off room, just for them. Paying for food and games I don’t mind because those profits DONT GO TO THE B&G. They go to the people they are hiring to run the games and food vendors.

    I’m sure I’ll just be blasted as another ass-kissing just-as-tacky wedding guest. Go ahead. I’m still going to see two people who mean the world to me committing themselves to each other. And I’m going to pay my $20 and then some, because this couple has done more for complete strangers than Anonymous would be likely to do for them. Obviously.

    Anon, if you were really that upset with everything, from the font to the REQUESTED $20, then you should have just called the B&G. Then all of this bullshit would not have happened, and you wouldn’t be labeled as a coward and wedding-ruining bitch. Seriously, if you feel that you can’t call people who consider you close enough to invite you to their wedding, then you probably should not have been invited in the first place. If you don’t like the ideas of the wedding to the point that you’re going to anonymously bitch to a local newspaper, how do you have the nerve to call them tacky? And did you really think it would be that hard to figure out who you are? Go fuck yourself, you fucking cunt.

31. I love Burning Man weekend. It’s when all the douche bags leave San Francisco. Ahh… it’s nice to have The City back once in a while.

32. Whatever you think about this wedding, if Anon submitted this to The Stranger knowing that people involved in this wedding might read it, s/he’s a real jerk.

33. aaand the tide is turning. Britney is making her comeback, bitches!

34. This has gotten crazy. Now I hear that the bride invited The Stranger to the wedding? By the end of the Party Crasher column, I fully expect to be the cartoon villain. It will be my turn, and that’s fine.

    I hope you all have a great time. But I regret nothing. If my identity was revealed, I still wouldn’t regret this. (I need to trim the fat from my facebook friend list anyway. No one actually has hundreds of friends. Not on facebook, and not to invite to their wedding either.) One lady is claiming to know who I am but also seems to think I’m a chick. Because, you know, fags are never catty. Just ask Dan Savage. Anyway, don’t worry, there isn’t a douchebag in your midst. This douchebag keeps to his side of town.

    Maybe I’d feel bad if I was real-life friends with these people. Maybe I would have just called them and said, wtf, you’re making enormous asses of yourselves. But I can’t remember when we last spoke. I don’t even have their phone number. I’d have to find my invitation in order to remember their last names. Shit, I don’t even know why they invited me. I’m clearly an asshole. Another reason not to invite everyone you know to your wedding, I guess.

35. By the way, I’m just jealous.

36. @ 133

    Nope, where I grew up, most couples don’t have BYOeverything weddings. For this wedding, however, the bride and groom also specifically asked people not to bring any gifts, which also hasn’t been the case with most weddings I’ve been to.

    And my friends would be better people if they confronted the couple and bitched them out about how tacky they think the wedding is? Easier said than done, as “Anon” has shown us.

37. Wow, everyone here needs to get a life. Who fucking cares what these people want to do for their wedding? It’s their special day and they should do whatever they fucking want with it. If you don’t like it then don’t go and mind your fucking business. I know the groom, not well but have met him several times and he is a really nice and down to earth guy. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go to their wedding because I’m not a close friend, but now I want to just to give them the love and support they (and all couples) deserve on their wedding day. And I’ll gladly contribute to their honeymoon fund and I’ll have a great fucking time at a great fucking party with some great freaky shit I haven’t seen in a long time. PS My husband, who is generally concerned with proper etiquette says “Fuck you you fuckity fuck fuck fucking idiot fucks!” to all of you who are flapping your gums about people you don’t even know.

38. WOW. There certainly are a lot of you in the “There is only one correct way to do a wedding” camp. I would be really interested to see exactly how cool/lame this thing/party/wedding is going to be. I hear people throwing random opinions about how this thing will suck, the B&G are selfish, etc, but you’re all basing that on your simplistic personal experience of the “correct” way to have a wedding.

    I find the comments of “guests don’t want to pay for your circus” to be especially funny. Such certainty that the rest of the city and world only want what you want. I’m visualizing a white person, at a star*ucks, in Bothell, proudly proclaiming that “Nobody wants to pay money to hear that crappy rap music”

    I’m all for breaking the rules and making a different wedding, different music, different corporate norms, different whatever.

    I raise my glass to these people who I bet are gonna provide an amazing experience for people who, I’m guessing, really want to be part of a festival/party/circus.

    Rock on, and throw another Wild party for your 20th anniversary. Whoever you are, I bet those first 20 years of marriage are going to be a lot more interesting than those experienced by your “weddings by the book” critics.

39. @wtfkd

    Okay so let me get this straight. You obviously don’t really know them, and even though they were nice enough to send you an invite to their special day, a request for 20 bucks that you are not required to give if you don’t want to is pissing you off? You know, maybe it was a mistake to invite you if you’re really going to act this shitty towards them.

    Oh dear, you’d have to read a name on an invitation. How taxing to read their names and find a way to contact them to let them know you have an issue with something they are doing. Again, obviously you don’t know them very well if a fucking email is too much for you.

    And for the record, I consider the terms “bitch” and “cunt” gender non-specific when one has acted in such a bitchy cunt-like manner.

    I really don’t give a damn if you’re jealous or not. You have some serious issues with yourself if you feel the need to shit all over a day that many people have put/are putting a hell of a lot of effort into because you couldn’t read an invitation properly or contact someone who considered you enough of a friend to be there for their nuptials. I don’t care how tacky you think they or their wedding ideas are, you obviously did not get the whole picture, nor did you even try. Therefore you’re not just a fucking moron, but because you posted this in a local paper, knowing that the Bride and Groom, not to mention all of the guests, might read it makes you just plain hateful, cruel, overdramatic, and undeserving of having them in your life. Really, I mean, at least have some tact if not some fucking grey matter.

40. @ 141, the only reason they invited you and dozens like you is to pad the list: as an extra in their movie, and an incentive to the vendors. Plus, that invitation means you’re probably going to give more than $20.

    I bet the freakshow’s worth it.

41. My sister had some kick-ass stuff she was going to do at her wedding, but when she realized she couldn’t afford it, she dropped it from the plans, rather than ask guests to foot the cost, because “guests” implies that you’re being provided for. “Customers” are the ones who pay.

    I’m so glad I don’t have young friends. It’s so much more pleasant to deal with people who understand social norms.

    I don’t care how “kick ass” and “generous” the bride and groom have been before–if this one-of-a-kind event is what they want to do for their wedding, then they should hold off for a few years while they save up the money to do it.

    And if all of you vociferous supporters think they’re so damned wonderful, why don’t you just give them the money up front so they don’t have to charge everyone?

    One of you supporters said that the bride was “fine” with having people crash at her place after parties and then have them leave without cleaning up. Those people aren’t friends–why would you invite them to a wedding? I guess that’s really the key here–the bride & groom have “friends” who use them, so they feel free to use their friends in return. I’m glad I’m too old for this type of “friendship” to be the norm in my social circles.

    It’s rude in every civilized society to ask people to pay to attend your private party. It is not a commercial event, it is a private one. Asking for money makes it a fund raiser, not a celebration, no matter how “kick ass” and “awesome” it’s going to be.

    They may be very nice people and generous in other ways and at other times, but they are clueless in this case. If you can’t afford to host it, then you can’t truly consider it a party.

42. Shame on you, Seattle. Planning a wedding is difficult enough without your entire city cruelly passing judgement on you. Some peole aren’t interested in tradition. If this couple wants to wed their own way, and if that means they need to ask for help to do so from their guests, then that’s their perogative. Are we all so closed-minded that we can’t accept that? Seems many people here feel like a wedding should be a day of free food and booze. Who says it has to be that way? Nobody who is invited is required to go, nor to pay. It’s a free country and people should be allowed to get married the way they want to, without having to hear the backwards, closed-minded opinions of folks they may or may not have met. I’m all for free speech, but this is just terribly cruel and unnecessary. I wish all the best to the bride and groom, and I hope their wedding day will be one of the best of their lives. And to those who are going to their wedding, I truly hope you plan to do so with love and support.

43. Shame on Seattle? I don’t think so! This wedding is tacky and clearly violates societal norms and basic etiquette. What I don’t get is the defensive stance of the bride and groom and their defenders…if you are all unique snowflakes marching to your own beat why do you care when society ridicules you for violating its norms? If you don’t care about social norms then why care about social criticism?

44. this shit here ..ummmm …fascinates me..

45. @ penguin:

    The bride and groom didn’t ask for the opinions of the readers of this column. Some asshole just decided to ridicule them in public for their personal choices. It is that person who is tacky and lacking in social graces to be trying to ruin their wedding day.

    And by the way, here are some awesome “societal norms”:
    Illegal gay marriage
    Racism
    Gender discrimination
    Circumcision
    Talking incessantly on one’s cell phone
    I could go on and on.

    And as for “proper etiquette” tell me, do you hold your fork in your left hand and use your knife for everything from steak to salad? Do you never put your elbows on the table? Do you never invite a friend out for drinks and then split the bill?

    Get over it. Why is it so hard to live and let live?

46. @LTPB It is not a basic civil right to be able to ask for money at a wedding without ridicule so let us not go there.

    Yes, Miss Manners frowns upon correcting people in public but she would also frown on such an invitation as was issued here.

    As for etiquette rules, yes I have been known to break them but I don’t cry unfair when I get called on it. I can wear booty shorts and a bikini top to a funeral if I wanted to but I’d better expect to get some commentary.

47. I thought the purpose of a wedding was to invite friends and family to celebrate your special day. That being the case, why would you deliberately plan an event that seems especially designed to drive people away?

    I quote: “Secondly, this is a large scale event, not some shitty little boring ceremony where you are all waiting to be able to start drinking once the wedding is over and the party begins. There is live music, fire jugglers, flame swallowers, acrobats, circus freaks, and a lot more. This is an event not unlike Jim Rose’s sideshow and there just happens to be a wedding smack dab in the middle of it as far as any guests (who aren’t the bride & groom’s close friends) are concerned.”

    Lots of weddings have live music, but the rest of it? And vendors all over the place trying to sell you stuff? I’m all for thinking outside the box and being nontraditional but how about being nontraditional in ways that are actually inviting to people? How can you make your friends feel like they are sharing a special occasion with you when you put on a freak show and let in random people who pay an entry fee? Yes you have the right to do anything you want for your wedding but you also have to realize that guests have the right to decline your invitation. Do you want strangers to celebrate with you or friends? Obviously you have at least one friend who is likely not going to attend because you don’t know the difference between a wedding and a highly commercialized freak show.

    I know if someone invited me to something like this, I’d have to decline. Just thinking about a train wreck of an event like that gives me a headache. (And btw, not everyone even LIKES circuses!)

48. @ Diagoras

    Really? Because a vast majority of the wedding guests have since the publication of the IA been sending a massive outpouring of support, love, and great excitement of the coming festivities, including their families. Hell the circus/carnival/freakshow aspect is what guests are so excited to see, as it’s not a normal wedding reception. And those that have the sense to call if they are confused don’t mind giving a small cash gift to people they care about.

    These invitations have been out for almost two months. Anon had plenty of time to air this shit out, and to choose three weeks before the wedding is bullshit. Even worse this person is getting their panties all in a bunch over an event they were invited to by people they claim to barely know. So why not just not say anything and skip it instead of acting like an asshole?

    @penguin

    It’s not your wedding. So how about you leave your snarky comments about “proper wedding etiquette” at the door. You don’t know what the actual ceremony is actually going to be like, you don’t know these people. As stated earlier most of the invited guests are still planning on going. They’ve known about the requested cash gift for a while now, and I don’t hear any of them bitching or moaning behind a local paper. I’m sad to hear that others are changing their RSVPs this late in the game based on a rant that took everything about this wedding and the invitations out of context by someone who was invited despite their clear vindictiveness and lack of courtesy towards the bride and groom. All of this is a huge misunderstanding that could have easily been cleared up had someone had the testicles to just ask a freaking question.

49. The B&G are two of the fakest mother fuckers I’ve ever met. They’ve fried their brains and its painfully obvious. This is the dumbest fuckin wedding ever. The extravagance is purely to stroke their own egos. They want nothing more than to be the king and queen of their group of ‘friends’.

    And I’m pretty sure they’re both gay.

50. BEST.
    I ANON.
    EVER.

    (How can I have been the first to say this?)

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