Credit: Steven Weissman

I’m a closet elitist, but only on the phone, and only when calling for customer support, such as to a credit-card company or airline. I make a snap judgment when the attendant answers my call based on their voice. If I hear a slow drawl, or they sound like they’re chewing gum or in any way have difficulty pronouncing/enunciating those few words they have been trained to repeat for every call, I hang up right away and hope to get someone smarter-sounding on my next try.

I feel guilty every time I do it, and I hope their supervisors don’t take note of how much it might happen to them. I just don’t want to spend the next 5 to 20 minutes of my life listening to “uumm” and mouth-breathing. Oh, and if your job entails answering calls, why oh why would you ever be eating or chewing gum at your station? That one I don’t feel bad about at all.

And if you tell me to “have a blessed day,” I’m filing a complaint. I don’t care that you didn’t mention God or the Lord. I know what you fucking mean, and I take offense.

55 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. …ok, so basically if a person of color/faith takes your call, you immediately hang up…- GOT IT 🙂 -d.

    p.s. i worked @ a call center my freshman year of university – and your bigoted action?! yeah, it actually HELPS his/her weekly stats – cheers!

  2. …ok, so basically if a person of color/faith takes your call, you immediately hang up…- GOT IT 🙂 -d.

    p.s. i worked @ a call center my freshman year of university – and your bigoted action?! yeah, it actually HELPS his/her weekly stats – cheers! (feel better, now?)

  3. I cannot stand hearing, “Have a blessed day.” Unfortunately I live in the bible belt and have to hear it on a regular basis. I could file a complaint every time I hear it, but it would consume my life. I just give a dirty look instead. It seems to help at places I go to on a regular basis. Maybe I’m an asshole, but I don’t push my beliefs on anyone. I don’t feel that it’s right. I don’t do it and neither should they.

  4. jesus christ……some people have nothin more to bitch about……with war,aids,natural disasters occuring all around you.YOU GOTTA BITCH ABOUT CUSTOMER SERVICE AND GUM CHEWING

  5. Moral of the story;
    chew gum and speak very slowly when you answer the phone at work, or else you might end up helping this retarded asshole!

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