Credit: Steven Weissman

I have decided that when you made me paying your utility bills and credit-card debt a stipulation of marriage that you might be better off having your ex-girlfriend who loves to spend money on you and buy you expensive dinners help you instead. And where was my fucking ring? And then when I bring this up, you break up with me like you always do with a text message. And when I show up at your door demanding an in-person explanation as to why you are dumping the girl you’ve talked to every day for the past six months who you said you wanted to marry the very previous night why you are breaking up with her, you call the police? And I tell them, “I haven’t done a thing wrong, this is a public place and I can do what I want regardless of my chicken-shit boyfriend who said he wants to marry me the night before who can’t tell me to my face he wants to break up.” And once they realize I’m not nuts, they start consoling me and saying how sorry they were and how I’m a very attractive woman and a nice person and they were sure I could find lots of other guys. And the one black cop was so sweet and adorable, like, “Oh, I know life is hard, these things are rough, but you’ll be okay.” And you get out of the car to tell me it’s completely over and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with me and never to call or text you again. And then the cops make me promise I wouldn’t call you anymore. And I told them, why the hell would I do that? This man just called the cops on me. I’m so freaking mad, I don’t know if I can ever look at this person again. Anyway, lots of luck in the future.

60 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  6. You paid a guy’s bills who’s broken up with you before over text and promised marriage without a ring? I mean, I feel bad for you, but mostly because you’re a giant idiot.

  7. “you break up with me like you always do…” what? He always breaks up with YOU via text or always breaks up with previous attractive women via text? If he ever broke up with you once in six whole months via text, why did he ever get a second chance? And the WHY you were dumped (text or otherwise) is easy. He would marry you if you pay for it, you balked, time to break up. Simple. Sheez.

  8. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?
    ‘and then you said you loved me, and then you didn’t, and then you called the cops, and then the cop said i was hot, and then i kept going on like this, and then i thought HEY I SHOULD SHARE THIS WITH THE STRANGER, and then for some fucking reason the stranger actually posted this piece of shit, and then……..

    one vote for worst I,Anon of 2010.

  9. Details aside,
    this guy sounds like your stereotypical communication phobic cowardly man, times a hundred. The old “over react to demands for answers like you’re being threatened by a psychotic bitch” trick.

  10. “I, Anonymous”: providing people with more interpersonal dilemmas to laugh at after they’ve finished reading “Savage Love” since 19whatever.

  12. I don’t understand why people demand an explanation for a rejection or a breakup. Do they really want to hear that the person isn’t attracted to them/doesn’t love them? Or are they looking to guilt trip the person into fucking them/staying with them?

    And I’m not excusing breaking up via text. It’s just that, when someone breaks up with me, no matter what the venue, I accept it and move on. I prefer to hear neither platitudes nor insults.

  14. @12

    Me neither. “I don’t like you anymore” is good enough for me. Unless it was a long term thing. Then I’d at least want a face to face goodbye. But I wouldn’t expect (or want) to talk them back into a relationship.

  15. I get where IA is coming from (sort-of). IA’s standards must be set really low that they’re willing to flip out over some guy who’s obviously an opportunist and emotionally detached. It’s sad when you don’t think there’s anyone out there who will actually treat you as well as you treat them, but freaking out does nothing for anyone involved and just makes you look nuts. Cut your losses, move on and do whatever you have to do to get some self-respect so you don’t go through this sh*t again.

  16. “Sure, honey, I’ll marry ya, if’n ya pay off all mah bills an’ shit”

    Oh Lord. When they were handing out red flag detectors, you must have been trapped in the broom closet, trying to figure out how door handles work.

  21. What’s with the “and the one black cop” part? What does that have to do with anything?

    What an attention seeking whiner.

  22. To I,Anon : I’m sorry to hear about your break-up. I hope you’ll make the commitment to really dig into this over time & try to understand your role & your choices in this relationship. It’ll be painful, but as you seriously examine your feelings, you’ll get a lot of insight into yourself & your needs. I’m sure you’d like to be able to choose a better guy for yourself as well, right? You can do it! You obviously just need to get very clear on what your blind spots are. For example: are you a sucker for extremely handsome / attractive / sexy men? If so, you might want to follow Dan Savage’s advice & stop trusting yourself to choose your BFs completely on your own, if this is what you’ve been doing in the past. Do you have any close friends who you trust deeply? Maybe rely on them a little more next time you meet s/o you’re really attracted to & find out what your friends honestly think about the guy..? On the other hand, if all your friends were like “Go for it” with this guy, then I’m sorry but you probably need to seek out some other close friends / family who you sense may have better judgment. Be courageous & ask to talk to them about this problem of yours. Good luck & best wishes 🙂

  25. That guy is an ass, like so many. She should get with that nice cop…

    But, the only way that you learn about dicks like that guy is by being burned. Sometimes it takes a lot of burning before you get that a lot of men are dicks.

    Good luck out there.

  27. Just write off the past six months and next time, don’t invest ANY money in a man’s past debts. You deserve a lot better than this imbecilic scumbag.

  29. what i want to know is WHY I,ANON felt it was necessary to mention the race of the cop who was nice to her?
    My nice hairdresser is asian.
    My nice mailman is white.
    My nice maintenance repair man is black.
    why does it matter what race they were? jerks come in all colors, just like “nice” people.It’s not rocket science.
    well, maybe for some people…

  30. I couldn’t do it to someone else, but I could really give a fuck if someone broke up with me via text. Sweet, so you suck, and at least I have the rest of my day. Hope I didn’t leave anything at your house.

  31. Hahaha Growler.. (#8) I agree.

    “You made me pay your bills and credit card debt”… No, idiot. No one MAKES anyone do anything. Mistake #1. Pay them or else? Or else he’d do what, leave you? Wake up. That’s why he was with you.

    I bet the black cop didn’t even say you’re attractive.

  34. its called eqaul rights chica….women have been using men for there money since the dawn of time….if ya ever need someone to talk to you can call me but could ya pay my phone bill first……what a dumbass

  36. @34 Shush. Men have been using women for sex, procreation and free housekeeping since the “dawn of time” too, regardless of whether or not the women wanted them to. You are foolish.

    And can we have an end to the boring I, Anons, please?

  37. New theory:

    The whole point of this I, Anon–talking about how forthright she was, what a douchebag the guy was, how reasonable she was, how much the cops took her side in this, and ESPECIALLY mentioning the nice cop’s race–was so she could get the aforementioned Nice Black Cop’s attention for a hookup.

  39. when someone breaks up with you, it’s only human to want an explanation. any NORMAL adult would.
    Human nature makes you want an explanation all the more when all of the sudden you’re flat-out ignored.

    that sane NORMAL adult would never have paid that douche bag’s bills.

    while normal isn’t always fun, therapy is definitely in order for you, IA

  42. I understand that in the moment, when your S.O. does something maddening enough that all you can think of is smashing their window in, yeah you’d want to chase his ass down for an answer but think of it this way: after only six months together he wants to get married? Then the next day he’s breaking up with you? Wow he sounds stable. You don’t need any answers. Just move on.

  43. @36 clara…..did you just shush me….are you a first grade teacher?Men have been using women for sex…yea i guess your right..as far as free housekeeping and procreation….HUH?you cant be serious!!!YOU ARE A RETARD

  48. This chick sounds very young and inexperienced, or thick (intellectually dense. Why would you even care to continue a relationship with an abusive duplicitous person? Also, things a guys says in the middle of coitus is NOT RELIABLE INFORMATION! How did that little bit of reality escape her? She obviously has crap for girl friends.

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