You stop taking your meds. You feed your face. You continue drinking. You laze around or go to work or whatever the hell you do, until the grim reaper comes calling. And then you get to me, the ICU nurse.
Hey, I’m all for an adult beverage. There is nothing like a fabulous meal. Lord knows I’ve had my fun. But come on, people, get it together. You weigh 300, 400, 500-plus pounds? You’re on anti-depressants or blood-pressure meds, and you think it’s a good idea to just stop?
You’ve landed your ass in my ICU; if you want to live, act like it. Quit the whining, the crying, the passive-
aggressive manipulative behavior that got you here. I’d love to see you get well, but only if you want to. Otherwise, I don’t give a fuck. I’m not your cheerleading squad, I’m not your coach, and I’m not your fucking mother. So take a moment, get over yourself, and make the decision: Do I want to die? Because otherwise, you’re wasting my time and my other patients’ time. Right now, you’re just job security to me.
First! Suck it nerds!
Slow Clap.
It’s called ‘Personal Responsibility’. At some point in life, we all have to step up and accept it. Or die.
Pretty simple, really.
I didn’t know Nurse Ratched was still working.
Oh twinkie223, this is no Nurse Ratched. This is ICU and U R Not Pretty.
Great stuff, I, Anon! Every word rings truer than true, and do I ever know exactly what you’re saying. Just think, in a few weeks he’ll be out the door (in one fashion or another) and you can wave goodbye and say, “AMF, YOYO!”
Sounds like Dr. Dennis Leary… who I for one agree with.
FINALLY a nurse who says what we all are thinking!
Anon, I have no idea how you do it every day. My hat is off to you. Lets hear it for nurses!
If you hating having to nurse people you dislike why be a nurse? You obviously aren’t in nursing because you care about helping others. Oh, I get it you are only a nurse to get paid. If you are nurse because you want to be paid you should be thanking those who give you job security not condemning them.
The revolving door indeed. The street alcoholics are the worst. Don’ think I don’t have empathy, I do. But the same ones come in over and over and over again, near death or simply out of their minds, spitting on or otherwise assaulting hospital staff. They get detoxed, sometimes spend some time in jail after hospitalization, are given tons of resources to get sober. And then, they return to the streets only to wind up back in the hospital.
Oh, and to the flaming moron who says “I wish we had socialized medicine so we could pay for them” we already are you idiot. Who do you think absorbs the cost of these people? The hospital does, and then they jack the rates for everyone.
Yes I agree with clarity, if you dislike your job don’t take it out on the customers.
@9 you are an idiot. You have no sense of what it takes to watch people self-destruct on a daily basis, often multiple times, sometimes to try to manipulate pain meds. This isn’t about helping people it is about people helping themselves. And fuck off with this “if you dislike some aspect of your job for valid reasons than quit” bullshit. That pedantic perspective is tired and short-sighted. People get into nursing for a wide range of reasons not just to “care about others.” You are out of your element, go back to your 101 classes and leave this discussion to the adults.
Wow.
First I Anon that I can remember who actually sounds like a grown-up.
Nice work.
Unprofessional.
@7: you don’t think we’re paying for them now? They’re either on somebody’s insurance plan (hint: they raise your rates), or they’re getting free hospital care (hint: the hospitals are raising their rates).
@12 You are wrong. I do understand, “what it takes to watch people self-destruct on a daily basis, often multiple times.” Working with the homeless you have clients whom you help into housing and stabilize over and over. When they come in for help you need to be ready to accept them where they are and be fully willing to help them even though they have had your help before. And maybe they aren’t at a point where they are “helping themselves” if you demand that your clients are “helping themselves” before you will help them then maybe you should not be in a care-giver position. Sometimes people need a lot of help and care before they are ready to care for themselves.
And also, I was not endorsing “if you dislike some aspect of your job for valid reasons than (then) quit.” IA works in an ICU so clearly caring for people they dislike is a rather large part of the job. All jobs have aspects we don’t like but if what you dislike is a large part of the job description then yeah maybe you should move on. IA could move on to private practice maybe in plastic surgery or something with “more desirable” patients.
Part of nursing is caring about a person that can’t care for themselves. If you can’t do that anymore, get another job and leave it to the pros.
@12. As a doctor, let me add that i am so sick of nurses like you. Quit already: you judge and hate your clients, and you’re making all of us look bad.
Clarity, I don’t know where you got the idea that Anon hates his/her job; they simply hate the self-destructive blame-shifting useless fatasses they keep having to patch up, just so they can go out and damage themselves again.
Working in health care, you get the joy of seeing people work hard and get their lives back from the depths of desperate illness, but you also see a shit ton of morons who think the role of medicine is to find a pill that fixes all their self-inflicted problems so that they can go continue to eat 10,000 calories a day for the rest of their miserable lives.
Hey, Anon isn’t saying that she won’t treat these patients to the best of her abilities, or that she’ll be unprofessional towards them, just that she doesn’t like them, and for good reason, and that she can’t help them as well as she can help other, more responsible patients.
Hats off to the brave men and women serving in the ICU department.
Cynical nurses suck.
Lots of people have problems beyond the ones you’re paid to fix. Not surprisingly, they’re often intertwined.
Clearly you are in the wrong business. So kick off those Danskos and change into street clothes (they’re a lot tighter than scrubs, aren’t they?), then treat yourself to a job that rewards a nice, shitty attitude. One where your customer’s can hate you for who you are, without placing their lives in your sweaty palms.
@7 – Which asshole?
@Clarity:
I’ve noticed the people who scream the loudest about how we should be pillars of our community, and nurses (cops/doctors/teachers) shouldn’t be allowed to have human frustrations outside of work make the worst patients. I’ll bet you’re an awful patient and many of my colleagues have talked just as much shit about you.
@Clarity:
I’ve noticed the people who scream the loudest about how we should be pillars of our community, and nurses (cops/doctors/teachers) shouldn’t be allowed to have human frustrations outside of work make the worst patients. I’ll bet you’re an awful patient and many of my colleagues have talked just as much shit about you.
I completely sympathize Anon. Take some responsibility for yourselves, fatties. You are overweight and unhealthy because of your own life choices; quit whining to this person who is just trying to do his/her job in the ICU.
Totally feeling Anon today.
I worked in an ICU and had a 19 year old kid come in weighing 750 lbs. His feet looked like alligator skin and he never budged his fat ass to help anyone try and move him.
I sympathise.
But I just have to say, the one time I ended up in hospital (I’d had a panic attack and cut myself up a bit), the nurses and the paramedics I saw were so fucking amazing it defies words. Kind and supportive and patient. I am eternally grateful for the patience and the empathy of (some) people who work in hospitals.
I told them that, too. People should say “thank you” to the people who save lives more often.
Hell yeah. Nurses are awesome and put up with amazing amounts of shit from whiny, entitled, obnoxious arseholes of all weights who think everything should be done for them. I’ve been in hospital too many times myself not to have noticed that, and the nurses always get a bottle of booze and a box of chocolates from me when I leave.
I work in IT and there are people who I need to help as a part of my job who range from computer savvy to unsavvy but pleasant to unsavvy and unpleasant. Some try to help themselves while others do not. Some cause their own problems while others do not.
My suggestion to this disgruntled nurse is to take pleasure in the the ones you can help and/or who you enjoy helping and take your paycheck for the ones you don’t enjoy while giving them the same quality care.
They are indeed job security and you are being paid to help them which is why it doesn’t matter whether you think they’re worth your while or not.
@30, most jobs involve “putting up with amazing amounts of shit from whiny, entitled, obnoxious arseholes of all weights who think everything should be done for them”. This just in!
A valid complaint. *Of course* people, trained and equipped on the public dime ( you think your lousy tuition covered even half the cost of educating you?) and one even being paid to perform a professional service shouldn’t have to treat fat people or ugly people, or people whose life choices they disagree with, or people who don’t really have aesthetically pleasing injuries or ho the wrong kind of handbag…of course you shouldn’t have to dear.. I’ll tell you what, the next time you get one of this abusive, chemically staturated fatties, just go ahead and load them up with potassium and watch ’em writhe….God love you honey for your commitment to professional standards.
You’re getting paid to help people, not make value judgments. So take your holier-than-thou attitude, jam it in your ass, and get to fucking work, Florence Nightingale!
Good fucking god, people. We *all* have unhealthy and self-destructive habits; it’s part of being human. Some of these habits are simply more visible than others.
@28/smitty: You POS asshole. A 19-year old kid who weighs 750 lbs?? Did it not occur to you that his weight is a very loud cry for help for any number of possible problems (incest/rape/abuse/neglect)? You’re right when you described him as a “kid” — and, definitionally, he doesn’t have the same resources and coping mechanisms available to him as an adult. Why don’t you get off your self-righteous ass and outside of your narcissistic self and actually try to help a fellow human being during your short time on this planet?
Maybe a little off-topic, but recently my wife came home from working a shift at a children’s ICU at a county hospital. Right after a crack addict gave birth, the mother made an excuse and abandoned her baby at the hospital, where a problem developed that eventually led to the baby spraying AIDS-infected blood from his umbilical cord all over the bed and nurses.
So, to the person who works in IT, your job is actually NOT very relatable, in terms of what you have to put up with. Just saying.
Good fucking god, people. We *all* have unhealthy and self-destructive habits; it’s part of being human. Some of these habits are simply more visible than others.
@28/smitty: You POS asshole. A 19-year old kid who weighs 750 lbs?? Did it not occur to you that his weight is a very loud cry for help for any number of possible problems (incest/rape/abuse/neglect)? You’re right when you described him as a “kid” — and, definitionally, he doesn’t have the same resources and coping mechanisms available to him as an adult. Why don’t you get off your self-righteous ass and outside of your narcissistic self and actually try to help a fellow human being during your short time on this planet?
When I was finishing my clinical training in the ER, a nurse who (as she put it) had been saving lives since I’d been filling my pampers told me that the day you can’t treat each and every patient with the same compassion, regardless of how they got there (her example was the drunk driver and the person they hit), you need to go find a new career. I did it for 10 years, hit my limit and changed courses. It sounds like you hit that point years ago. Do yourself and your future patients a favor and take up a new profession.
@9 “If you hating having to nurse people you dislike why be a nurse?”
If only nurses who loved the work were in a hospital, there would be about 1 nurse per 500 patients.
#19 — “As a doctor…” With the handle PervyMax444?
Here’s hoping you’re not a pediatrician…
@18: Idiot
@19: Dr. Idiot
Great I, Anon.
I’d be the Nurse of Death.
People that continually drain resources and time from others that need help (from being non self- inflicted) need to just hurry up and die. These others obviously hate themselves and their miserable lives- why not put them out of their misery already?
Time and money wasters that WE pay for? Go die.
What a Bitch!
Hey fuckers,
If you read it she isn’t judging these people, she is tired of their indecision. This is the right response.
You guys don’t need to judge super fatties that want to die, Don’t you have a life to live? Grow up.
Also: BUUUUUURRRRRN
My mom and sister are both nurses. These type of patients are their #1 job complaint.
19, as a doctor, I’m here to tell you we have no room to criticize nurses. They’re on the front lines, hour after hour, while we write our orders and move on to our offices. Nursing care is why hospitals exist. Nurses make your profession possible.
(And, hello, “PervyMax”?? what the hell is that about? Who’s making who look bad?)
Anon, please quit your job. You are doing more harm than good. Nurses need to be nice and kind and helpful to their patients. I don’t care what bullshit excuses you make, they are your patients and you should treat them like your best friend. Go work in a job that does not require human contact.
Hi Anon,
Thank you for the hard work you do and for using a place like “I, Anonymous” to voice your complaints rather than doing it at work.
I can’t imagine how tough your work is and how much tougher people make it by not taking care of themselves or being a pain in your ass while in your care.
I hope you have other people you can talk to about this and that you’re making sure to practice a healthy amount of self-care. I imagine the burnout rate in your profession is pretty high and your attitude makes a huge difference to those of us who have to be in the ICU. I think the more you get to voice your frustrations outside of work and really be heard about them, the easier it will be for you not to express them while you’re working (which would probably be inappropriate.)
Thank you for reading this and again thank you for the work you do.
@20 @27 @28 @IA and everyone else who would rather just let people die because they are a mess: screw you. People who are a mess because of over-eating or addiction need help and compassion from those they come to for help. Often they are dragged into hospitals by family and friends who aren’t ready to see them commit suicide or go because they are afraid to disappoint someone who expects them to keep living. Sometimes it takes years before people want to take care of themselves because they are ready and able to make a change. If you cannot offer compassion to people who need more time and help then get out of work that requires giving a great deal of care and compassion there are other jobs with duties that are similar but involve less care giving requirements.
@25 and again @26
Whatever. I never said that any category of individual “shouldn’t be allowed to have human frustrations outside of work.”
@47(Black Rose) am I missing the sarcasm or are you a f*cking jack off?
oh, and #49:
having and acting with compassion, and expressing frustration are not mutually exclusive, indeed, the one can make maintaing the other possible.
Why does it always seem to make people feel better about themselves to look down on other people?
Over a very difficult five-week period, a team of ICU nurses turned me from something only barely distinguishable from corpse, with an unmeasurably low blood pressure, back into a real person with a chance at a full life again. Which I took. I fucking love ICU nurses. A large fraction of the people admitted to ICUs die there, despite the best efforts of the entire Unit staff and the fierce desire of the patient to live. After they lost a tough one, I heard the nurses crying, sometimes, when they thought I was uncounscious. Yes, even the seemingly hard-bitten one like I, Anonymous, here. If s/he wants to vent about a difficult patient, that’s fine with me. And you, Clarity, you can go fuck yourself.
I am glad this proffesional has such a nice place to vent their frustration.
Great IA! Finally.
To you asshats telling her/him to just quit already:
This person has every right to bitch about human blobs that won’t do a damn thing to help themselves, meanwhile expecting nurses to move their HUGE, GIGANTIC, FAT asses for them, be it ICU, or ER.
I’m from a family of nurses and Dr’s, and taking care of the morbidly obese is one of the great challenges of nursing. GET THIS ASSHOLES: try being a 110lb nurse, hoping to turn a 300-500lb patient over without harming yourself- it can’t be done, and if it is (without harming the nurse) it leaves the nurse with horrible neck, back and shoulder pain for weeks. Then you get another one next week. Wish I had a dime for every time I’ve rubbed a back or heard how hard it was to give basic care to the obese- I could retire.
Right on, IA! Glad you could come here and vent. We love all you do for all of us- please don’t quit.
I so know the person who inspired this rant…
Great IA! Finally.
To you asshats telling her/him to just quit already:
This person has every right to bitch about human blobs that won’t do a damn thing to help themselves, meanwhile expecting nurses to move their HUGE, GIGANTIC, FAT asses for them, be it ICU, or ER.
I’m from a family of nurses and Dr’s, and taking care of the morbidly obese is one of the great challenges of nursing. GET THIS ASSHOLES: try being a 110lb nurse, hoping to turn a 300-500lb patient over without harming yourself- it can’t be done, and if it is (without harming the nurse) it leaves the nurse with horrible neck, back and shoulder pain for weeks. Then you get another one next week. Wish I had a dime for every time I’ve rubbed a back or heard how hard it was to give basic care to the obese- I could retire.
Right on, IA! Glad you could come here and vent. We love all you do for all of us- please don’t quit.
Sorry for the double post.
All I read was ‘I HAVE BURNOUT’. If this is your attitude about your patients they’ll know it. Time for you to get into another type of nursing or get a desk job. You’re lacking the required compassion for our profession and making us look bad.
All I read was ‘I HAVE BURNOUT’!
If this is your attitude towards your patients then you need another job.
I’m more worried about you.
Anon,
Self-destructive people can be frustrating. I have a sister who has been talking about getting her high school GED for the past 17 years but never got it, and probably never will, in spite of all the help she’s been offered. But some people, either because of brain deficiencies or mental problems, don’t seem to have the same capacity to learn from previous mistakes as others do. Instead of getting angry, just be glad you are not like them! Imagine how horrible it would be to repeat the same mistakes over and over, and be unable to learn from that. These people have horrible lives and as you already know, sometimes die younger as a result. Just do the best you can for them, be glad you are not them, and enjoy being able to help the people who are capable of accepting help.
I think this comment speaks to more than obesity. It speaks to people who don’t take responsiblity for themselves (i.e those with high bp and stop taking their meds). Then when faced with the results of their irresponsiblity they blame, complain and continue to engage in the same behavior. Difficult people to take care of, I’m sure. Before I judge I’d need to walk in their shoes (and I’m not sure I’d want to).
@7- Like @15 said, you’re already paying for them. I just want to add that under a socialized medical system, you’d be paying less for them.
Totes on board with that assesment, @63.
And @47, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Best friend? On the flip side of the situation, I got to spend some lovely days in the hospital with my cancer-stricken uncle who was also dealing with MS. So, the always gentle and patient nurses would attempt to get him to go along with the physical therapy, only to be met with a barrage of nasty language and the attitude of a bratty child. He can’t walk anymore because he patently refused to do the physical therapy. He knew this would happen, but he chose instead to verbally abuse the nurse who were trying to help, because he was frustrated and angry about being in the situation at all.
Of COURSE he was angry and upset and frustrated by the sheer unfairness of being stuck in a hospital, beset with horrible illnesses, but still. I was embarassed by the shit that would come out of his mouth toward nurses…this is a job, and doing a job that requires the utter cooperation of your “clients” can never be easy.
This anon speaks eloquently from a perspective that the rest of society never sees.
For us, it’s the disgusting fatty who declares that they are ~healthy fat~ to our faces when criticized
—->for this anon, it is that same fatty on the brink of dying whose reality is crashing around them
For us, it’s that drunk guy in the bar who IS FINE, IT’S YOU THAT HAS THE PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST HAVING FUN
—->for this anon, it is that same drunk on the brink of dying whose reality is crashing around them
We all know these people, these manipulative, self-excusing people who wriggle their way out of every ounce of introspection and responsibility.
Dealing with these slabs of fat on their death beds while they blame others must be exasperating.
Totally understand and agree. I’m a social worker and while I strongly believe in what I do, it is SUPER frustrating to have clients that just continue down a destructive path depite all the help they’ve been offered. While this doesn’t affect the quality of the work I offer or the fact that I generally like what I do, it sometimes makes for a frustrating day. Not to mention the fact that people like teachers, nurses, social workers are often underappreciated by those we do help.
To Anonymous:
I’m sorry you have to deal with the bullshit decisions others make. You see the worst of it. Thank you for dealing with our societal bullshit. You don’t get paid enough for the crap you have to deal with.
(Remember to vote to raise the tax on sugary drinks)
I think this speaks to a lack within Anon’s workplace: nurses, social workers (I am one), case managers, etc. should have a system of support. They should have professional supervision, preferably from an outside source, where they can vent about this. It’s called “self-care,” it’s a basic tenet of the helping professions, and it’s wholly inappropriate to take to blogs/newspapers to vent about it. There are options for you, Anon, and you chose the unethical one.
@48 said it better than I could have, but let me add this:
My mother is a nurse and I’ve worked in a hospital doing medical records on nurse front lines. I see and know what you do.
It must be so hard working as a caretaker and trained to make people well, and then patients refuse to do it on their end. You cannot force them to exercise, or eat better, or take their meds. And you are stuck in this place where it starts to feel like an abusive relationship where you are the enabler to their self destruction.
Please remember that you are loved and needed and to most people, an angel who has saved them. Sometimes it’s immediately obvious in a big way, other times it’s small and takes time for them to come around, and for some there is no chance. Let them go. You are not responsible for every person’s life and outcome. Let them go.
Maybe she should find another line of work. WE do not need judgemental nurses. That is the base reason why luing cancer has the least finacial support for resaerch. Because they deserved it! – What a cunt!!
I really feel for this nurse, but I hope that the venting ends here and isn’t actually taken out on her patients, because there’s nothing more scary to a patient than feeling like your doctor or nurse isn’t treating you properly because they don’t respect you.
I’ve had this happen a couple of times. Once my acute appendicitis went undiagnosed because a doctor questioned whether I could actually be in real pain because I happened to be eating a brownie when she walked in. She didn’t bother to run any tests but informed me that it was mostly likely just a cyst due to having gone off the pill.
Suspending judgement is difficult in any job but it’s extremely important when it comes to healthcare, because your dismissiveness based on your presumptions about a person can actually harm them.
On your side, Anon. Professionalism is about not letting your emotions get the better of you when delivering your services; it isn’t about not having any emotions at all.
I work for a labour organization, and I hear a fair amount about the physical and medical dangers nurses face. Try sedating a violent or unstable patient without stabbing yourself, getting bitten, kicked, punched, or spit (potentially disease-ridden) in your eye. Christ.
And honestly? Even a surly nurse is better than no nurse at all.
Oh IA, darling. I have been there. We usually go into nursing to help people and after a certain amt of time we come to discover that when we do help others, often times they dont want helped or feel you should help them MORE or frankly fight off the help.
Those golden moments when we actually help and the person is grateful are small in number. That tends to make nurses grumpy on occasion. I am glad IA had this place to rant while no doubt providing good patient care;
at a certain point, we find we can provide good patient care even though we may NOT care anymore. Chances are the longer your nurse has been one, the less she cares; or perhaps the more chosey she is in who she does more than deliver care to.
Dollars to donuts, this letter writer is an LPN, basically an administrative assistant who does MINOR medical procedures (with student debt). There’s a reason why the majority of LPNs I’ve ever dealt with were borderline incompetent and had nasty attitudes. Unlike RNs and NPs, they have a low bar for getting into the job and they will never, ever progress in their careers beyond taking shit from patients.
The illustration would be better with buzzards circling, although they probably don’t allow buzzards in the ICU.
I find it amazing that, even in light of allll the recent news coverage and videos addressing bullying, there are people in this and many other Stranger comments feeds who seem more than willing to bully others with great relish. Too bad, really.
Hey @ 75 –
My mother was an LPN and a damn good one. She not only nursed her patients, with a work ethic that would put you higher learning heifers to shame, but also her children, her parents, her extended family, and everyone else who ever had a need for someone who cared, would do your dirty work, and who knew what they were doing. How dare you! While your ass is walking around with a clip bored and sitting behind the desk, nurses like my mother were ones getting down and dirty and meeting the patients moment to moment needs.
You just want to sit in your ivory tower and try to distance your rank from someone who you think brings discredit to the profession. There was not a damn thing my mother didn’t know about the human body, how it worked, or how to take care of it. And most of the shit she ever had to take was from b!tches like you who thought you were better than she was. Take a long leap!
Mental illness sucks. Speaking as a person that has an easier time holding my hand over a flame than behaving rationally sometimes, I have empathy for just about everyone.
For all you mentally healthy people out there, try to imagine the urgency and drive you have for sex or food or air applied to self destructiveness or counting doorknobs or drinking booze. Try to imagine what it’s like to have the most annoying demanding person you’ve ever met talking in your ear every waking hour, and you can’t get rid of them because they’re not physically there.
Most people don’t know what it’s like to have to be forced to be a passenger in their own bodies and behavior, so they use that as an excuse to pursue the highest calling in most people’s lives; feel superior to others.
Oh, and…
@7 You would rather half of the money you spend go to advertising, profits, and CEO bonuses? That’s what you’re advocating. You already pay for every fucked up fuck up’s health care. Why not pay less for better service?
Oh, and I’m always nice to my nurses and doctors.
@gijo by the bay: “That is the base reason why luing cancer has the least finacial support for resaerch”. really…you went there how? judgemental? really? cunt? you would know.
Anon, I feel for you too. As someone who has been inside hospitals for my entire life due to various illnesses, I’ve seen the bullshit that you have to deal with. Thank you for being there for us.
And to all of those who use their mental illness as a rationale for their bad behavior, I too have attempted to kill myself on multiple occasions and guess what? I was a jerk to the nurses for the first few days . . . and it was INEXCUSABLE. It doesn’t take much to think a little bit about how you treat those around you, especially when these nurses are faced with horrifying situations day after day. That’s pretty hopeless and we should be glad that THEY don’t have depression.
@75-Judgemental much? Do you really think that a lesser education = an incompetent worker? My mother only had her high school degree and she basically runs the highway department that she works in. Education doesn’t mean anything without experience and on-the-job training.
@stella-Tell your mom thanks for being amazing.
that nurse is has her own set of problems. as a fellow healthcare professional (dr.) it is our job to help people when they are sick, not judge them. when someone is in the hospital they are here for medical treatment. the last thing someone sick enough to be in the ICU needs is someone who thinks they “deserve” to be here. life is difficult sometimes, sometime people are struggling, so quick acting like you are doing them a favor by taking care of them and do your job. drop the attitude, plaster on the fake smile and help get better without acting like a bitch
The writer needs to seek help. She seems to be burning out, and needs to address that before her work suffers (if it hasn’t already). I mean, fuck, you should have checked yourself before you got to the point of writing angry rants to the newspaper.
Patients have a right to stop their meds. It’s the patient’s body- the patient’s life- not yours. You don’t have to be the patient’s mother, but you do need to provide competent, compassionate patient-centered care. You are pissed that the patients don’t take care of themselves, but I would argue that you sound like you haven’t been taking care of yourself as a health care professional. And just as it’s not your fault that the patient stops his meds, it’s not the patient’s fault that you’ve allowed yourself to burnout.
It’s kind of amazing how much people hate fat people. The anonymous nurse mentioned several different types of self-destructive behavior but most of the comments focused on ‘disgusting fatties’ as one person called them, and quite a lot of anger was expressed. You don’t see that kind of anger toward drug addicts or alcoholics – there’s something about fat people that’s scary and when people get scared they get angry. It’s actually exactly the same mentality that causes the persecution of LGBT kids because something about their differentness is seen as threatening.
@84 agreed.
totally, 84. Seems like pretty much any long comments section on the stranger these days eventually takes a turn for the “fatties are disgusting” theme.
You can’t be a care-giver if you don’t give a shit.
And don’t forget about the smack addicts who are ‘afraid of needles’ when it comes to something like a simple lab draw!
alcoholics don’t destroy your health, just their own. Turning obese people can literally break your back.
Clearly there needs to be a better solution to lifting/ turning than a nurses back. We live in the 21st century here, we can’t get machines to do this shit?
We do have machines — Hoyer lifts, etc. — to do this shit. But every day I see nurses and aides voluntarily turn/lift patients by themselves rather than use one of these machines. It seems to be a badge of honor for a nurse to have back and shoulder pain, an excuse to bitch to his/her colleagues about having to lift the fat patient. Weird.
I don’t think this nurse has burn out. I think she just doesn’t like some one who created their own misfortune and loudly demands others pander to them when it will most likely injure the caretakers or require much more time than necessary to do every exact thing he/she wants that he/she wouldn’t do for themselves while another patient who came in because of a car crash/motorcycle accident/shooting/snake bite/carbon monoxide poisoning/and/or other act of god who needs help, who didn’t cause their own downfall, who can hopefully come back and rebuild their life after a tragedy – has to wait while leach of the year has made you turn them five times to get “comfortable” and berated you for reminding them of their mother and asked you seven times why hospital food sucks and when you give them even a slight reproach for any one thing like say coughing directly on you, they curse you out for ten minutes, throw things, or call your manager … again, while a real person with real person waits.
That’s not burn out. That’s being stuck unfairly for twelve hours being responsible for a total waste of space. And don’t even go into the mental health aspect. You can be crazy and not be a huge asshole. And you can be crazy and be a huge asshole who obviously can’t help it. Or you can be a gigantic steaming turd with no deficits in reasoning who destroys themselves for fun, which is what this guy/girl sounds like.
And yeah, an anonymous rant to blow of steam to people who are not the patient is a fine way to take care of your own mental health.
#10 Who pays for their visits? WELL… I was in the emergency room once, and this evidently mentaly ill, ‘street alcoholic’ as you called them comes in. Harmless type, knows many of the staff’s names, says hi to everyone… I ask how he know everyone and get the skinny. He acts injured and helpless, some kind soul calls an ambulance, and he comes in 2-3 times a month. I add it up, rounding down(what else is there to do in the WAITING, and waiting, and waiting room?), and figure out he costs Alameda County/City of Oakand about $200,000 a year. Thanks for tossing these types out into the street Reagan.
Dude really just seemed lonely!
@84, I think you’re simplifying things a bit. I agree that there is a lot of hate directed towards fat people, and while I don’t think that’s OK, I also don’t think it’s stemming from fear of people who are different. I think it stems from people being grossed out by obesity. I try to be tolerant and open-minded, but frankly, when a person who is literally twice my size sits next to me (and by extension ON me) on the subway I start to feel a little resentment stewing. Same goes for when I’m on a plane, or when I’m trying to walk quickly and am stuck behind a slow moving person the size of a small elephant. I imagine a lot of people feel a similar resentment, and it builds into a hatred. Most fat people are not fat because of a gland problem or a thyroid condition. They are fat because they sit in their asses and eat tons of food, and while I KNOW what a struggle food addiction can be, part of me still wants to say, get off your fat ass, get some fucking exercise, and stop eating 20,000 calories a day. (Yep, I am a bitch.)
The comparison between bigotry towards fat people and bigotry towards gay people always irks me. Being fat IS actually a lifestyle choice. A lot of other factors go into it, no doubt, and that doesn’t make it OK to be bigoted towards fat people. But being gay is NOT life choice; it’s just who someone is. A gay person cannot change their diet and start running and gradually become straight, and nor should they want to. Being gay is not unhealthy. Being fat is though- that’s just a fact. And a person can do things to stop being fat.
People get pissed at fat people because they are grossed out and annoyed by them. I don’t think it’s because they are scared, and I don’t think gays and fatties are in the same boat.
@84, I think you’re simplifying things a bit. I agree that there is a lot of hate directed towards fat people, and while I don’t think that’s OK, I also don’t think it’s stemming from fear of people who are different. I think it stems from people being grossed out by obesity. I try to be tolerant and open-minded, but frankly, when a person who is literally twice my size sits next to me (and by extension ON me) on the subway I start to feel a little resentment stewing. Same goes for when I’m on a plane, or when I’m trying to walk quickly and am stuck behind a slow moving person the size of a small elephant. I imagine a lot of people feel a similar resentment, and it builds into a hatred. Most fat people are not fat because of a gland problem or a thyroid condition. They are fat because they sit on their asses and eat tons of food, and while I KNOW what a struggle food addiction can be, part of me still wants to say, get off your fat ass, get some fucking exercise, and stop eating 20,000 calories a day. (Yep, I am a bitch.)
The comparison between bigotry towards fat people and bigotry towards gay people always irks me. Being fat IS actually a lifestyle choice. A lot of other factors go into it, no doubt, and that doesn’t make it OK to be bigoted towards fat people. But being gay is NOT life choice; it’s just who someone is. A gay person cannot change their diet and start running and gradually become straight, and nor should they want to. Being gay is not unhealthy. Being fat is though- that’s just a fact. And a person can do things to stop being fat.
People get pissed at fat people because they are grossed out and annoyed by them. I don’t think it’s because they are scared, and I don’t think gays and fatties are in the same boat.
I think SweetG has the most sane, unbiased, and balanced outlook on this. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words so precisely.
fake
Great letter, Anon. I hope everyone who reads this and goes to the ICU is nice to the nurse and cooperative, though I know most aren’t. They deserve much more than they get paid solely for the crap they deal with.
You’re the only thing standing between us and death, Anon — and I’m glad you’re there.
until you’ve been injured by your patient… STFU people.
Judgment is SO much easier than tolerance and understanding, I agree. Funny how you, I, Anon, are the lazy one there. Tolerance for things one doesn’t understand is hard though and not everyone can swing it, I get that. I guess lazy is in the eye of the beholder…and I find intolerance laziest of all!
@94 I like how you start off by saying hating fat people is wrong and then go on a long diatribe about how you hate on fat people. I suppose that’s honest, if inconsistent.
Our society has a real problem. Poor people, who may work physical jobs, get shitty calorie dense nutrition and get fat. Middle class people work long hours in sedentary jobs, don’t know how, or have time to cook. So they eat shitty farm-bill produced HFCS convenience food.
We don’t teach meaningful physical fitness in schools. Not outside of the sports paradigm, anyway. Unless your a naturally talented jock, kids don’t get any encouragement or outlet for physical expression. Not to mention school lunches are shit.
Really. Kids don’t stand a chance and get obese before their out of middle school. And once you get a certain percentage of body fat on you that young? You’re kinda fucked.
Anyway. Anonymous is not hating on this person for being fat. Or really hating at all. But rather expressing fatigue at this person for being a repetitive drain on her limited resources. And compassion has it’s limits when you have to triage. After all; Taking all this effort to save a lost cause can lead to the death of somebody else. That’s the stark reality of our health care system.
Fucked up all round.
Telling clinically depressed people to “get over themselves”? If only treating depression were that easy.
@94
nope, I totally disagree; gays are most definately in the same boat as fat people. If a gay person no longer wants to be gay, s/he can simply stop fucking people of the same gender!!
It’s actually easier to not be gay then it is to not be fat!
See, that’s the problem with gay people; this thread has NOTHING to do with your fucking gayness but you felt the need to put it out there anyway!! PLEASE GO DIE SOMEWHERE, YOU FUCKING QUEER IDIOT!!!
I do my best to be a good patent, Doing what the highly educated ,and trained medical professionals told her to do has kept my Flapper grandmother dancing into her mid 90’s. Mom doing the basic Md. advice traded her Harley for scuba gear in her 80’s.Dad, and Me both agree it doesn’t matter if the person saving your life is nice, sweet, kind, or feels for me..let them have an ego so big they just don’t loose patents…Some fundamentalist raving about how Prayer, or faith saved them from a life time of fast food, and knowing more about their cars than their bodies.. when in truth it was a nurse, doctor, or other medico that saved your life. In public health it’s just a matter of good citizenship to keep healthy.
@102, learn how to spell definitely before you call other people idiots. It’s not a fuckin’ typo; A and I are not next to each other on the keyboard. If you could actually read, you would notice that I was not responding to the I, Anon- I was responding to someone else’s comment. This is a COMMENT board after all, and sometimes the discussion might veer.
Also, it should be THAN, not THEN. Seriously- don’t call other people stupid when you can barely articulate your thoughts using what I assume is your first language. But I will go die now, as you have given me the ultimate smackdown!
@100, I do think it’s wrong to hate fat people, but they still piss me off. It’s not something I’m proud of. I agree with what you’re saying- I was just responding to one person who was comparing the bigotry towards gays and fatties. I don’t think there IS a comparison; that’s all I’m saying. I think a lot of hatred towards gays stems from fear, and I think a lot of hatred towards fatties stems from disgust (unfair or not) and from a society that often touts physical beauty above all else. The other commentator was speculating on WHY there is such hatred, often totally acceptable, towards fatties, and I was offering my two cents. I think people hate what they fear (gays), and also what disgusts them (fatties). My negative feelings towards fat people definitely are not good or right- but I’m just being honest and trying to explain why I feel that way, and maybe that explains why others do too.
Loved this IA. Finally something that really got people talking. Also, I get why it’s frustrating, but hey, it’s what we call natural selection. The people who cannot function end up leaving the gene pool in one way or another.
@104
That’s funny…. I know more than a few people who hate gays and fear is not one of the reasons mentioned when they’re asked why they hate them. Thinking that their behavior is DISGUSTING is a reason. Why would anyone fear a Homosexual? People fear the unknown, not much is mysterious about Homosexuality. People are judgmental assholes. That’s it.
Gays may or may not be disgusting, I personally don’t think so, seems like the rude opinion of an asshole to me. Just like the opinion that fatty fat fats are disgusting.
Some people really should do the world a favor and kill themselves… Hopefully you’re not reading this because you did the world a favor. =-)
Slitting my wrists now. Damn you, Hate.u.fucking.idiots and your vicious words! You really know how to bring a person down with dazzling logic and razor sharp insults. *weeps*
Get another job bitch.
If you think they a fat in Seattle come on down to Arkansas. It’s worse. One guy brought in from Hurricane Katrina was so fat they couldn’t get out of the ambulance (he stayed in it). One frequent flier had to have a special double wide ambulance to transport him. And, as soon as he got to the ER his wife wanted him fed?!?!?! Speaking of double wides you should see the bedside commode. We also don’t have enough staff to transport these pts. Look I’m no skinny minny myself but I don’t have to have special tax payer equipment to live.
@87 If she (or he, but let’s face it, most likely she) didn’t give a shit, you wouldn’t be reading this letter. If she didn’t give a shit, she wouldn’t care if people self-destructed. Hell, if she didn’t care, she’d want MORE people to end up in the ICU! Like she says, they’re job security!
Thank you stranger for publishing in I, Anonymous the conservative bullshit screed that I have been spamed with on facebook and in my e-mail box for the last year. Really original. ICU Nurse or should I call you ER doctor, or ER nurse as you are always giving yourself a different title to make your pathetic little life seem meaningful.