Understanding just hit me like a drunk trucker’s punch. For the two years that we struggled to form a meaningful connection, for all the months of dry-humping and being evasive and going out with “friends”—during that time, you were practicing with me so you could get your act together to be with him. Three little words that I always thought were a cliché are now mine to say: You used me.
And I took it. Because you’re glorious and I had the vanity to think I’d be the one to finally earn your trust. You were saving yourself, though, for him.
I hope it works out. Thing is, that guy was willing to fuck you after you broke up with him and then wait for you to come back. I’ll bet the romantic in you calls that eternal love. It’s not—it’s lack of self-esteem.
The punch line to this two-years-in-the-making joke: I love you. Because I know you, a richly complete human being, fabulous and faulty. I see you. I see a woman fighting her horridly unfair past who now moves through the world like a goddess of creation and destruction, spreading beauty with one hand and devastation with the other. I send a prayer not to you, but to all the ever-hopefuls in your orbit, all the men who never hear no and never hear yes. Good luck, guys.
—Anonymous
Months of dry-humping and whatnot without getting laid. You’d be better off with the drunk trucker.
You’re not upset because he was willing to fuck her; you’re upset because she wasn’t willing to fuck you. And you only think you love her because you don’t really like her but you still want to fuck her.
Boooooooooring.
“… who now moves through the world like a goddess of boredom and cliche, spreading apathy with one hand and yawns with the other.”
There. Fixed it for ya.
Aaaaaaangst.
Why are the IAnons always so humorless? Philly’s weekly paper has the same column and the submissions are hilarious. These are just sad and boring.
You don’t love him/her, that’s just your emotions pouting.
In another year you are going to feel very embarrassed about writing this. If you don’t then you are very emotionally retarded.
Nothing makes your infatuation with this shallow bitch any different from that other guy’s infatuation with this shallow bitch.
when was the last time I, Anonymous was good? or at least not about a middle-school relationship?
@7 – Link?
Booo Hooo. Ha Ha Ha.
#13:
http://citypaper.net/lovehate/
Example:
“CHAIRS!
To all of the fucking dummies that put a chair to save a parking spot. you are breaking the fucking law. The law of Pennsylvania states that it is forbidden to put chairs to save the parking spot you shoveled out. If you want to do that they should add extra money to the real estate taxes you have to pay because the fucking street is public property. It is not right for people that have company that visits them and can’t find a parking spots because of you dumbasses having chairs holding the spot and that mayor is wrong for encouraging this. I can’t wait for the new governor to come in!”
There are ten pages of these. The online version contains some “I Saw You” type posts, but the printed version just publishes the random weird stuff like this. If the link doesn’t work, just look up “I Love You, I Hate You Philadelphia City Paper.”
@10: I’ve never been proud of throwing up but I always appreciated the relief it gave me. I’m wholly sympathetic.
I give I.A. bonus points for writing well, too.
Love =/= lust. You still want to fuck her brains out, and there’s no WAY you’d be confessing your love if she had let you.
No dude wrote that drivel.
“For the two years that we struggled to form a meaningful connection, for all the months of dry-humping and being evasive and going out with “friends”…And I took it.”
It’s lack of self-esteem.
You let yourself be used and knew it all along.
@ 5 LOL at the FYP
@5 wins this thread. This dude is a dork and a douche. He should have written this on some crinkly college-ruled paper, then burned it.
@ #15 –
Your example of a “good” I Anon from Philly blows big donkey balls.
Chairs? And you say it goes on for 10 pages?
I prefer to damage my brain with alcohol, thanks.
Nice one #5!!
Dude you were her emotional tampon.
Now it’s up to you to get your life in shape so it doesn’t happen again. Google pickup community, go to therapy, and get in shape. Good luck.
#7 Your last sentence is an apt description of Seattle as a whole.
I’ve been reading the stranger since I was a wee teenager, but I didn’t think they printed high school relationship drama I-anonymouses (anonymi?).
MONTHS of dry humping? No wonder you’re frustrated…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You must be a really Nice Guy! XD
If you’re in your teens, I’ll give you a break for the months of dry humping and your continued pinning, you’re just figuring this relationship stuff out. If you’re any older than you’re socially retarded, and need to get your shit together. Anymore than a few weeks of dry humping without some specific trauma like a previous rape for continuing such activity and you’re right – you were a place holder, and should have known better. A bad break-up gets the person a couple weeks of getting their head straight, not two years. If you’re interested in someone does it take you months to figure it out, no, you know really fast. If someone puts you off more than a few weeks – they’re not that into you, and it highly unlikely to change suddenly. Over a longer period of time the feelings may change, but that with you living your life not just sitting there saying me, me, pick me.
Do yourself a favor: don’t fall in love with people that aren’t into you. You have to see someone’s disinterest in you as the unattractive quality that it really is. The “perfect girl” isn’t perfect for you if she’s not into you any more than that. And you’ll never win people like that over with your patience and compassion. There’s a difference between being a Nice Guy and being a tool. Forget about her. You may care about her and consider her a friend, but you have to see that she acted like an emotional vampire and cruelly used you as an sentimental napkin (albeit a willing one).
I found myself in a situation like that once when I was young, and I’ll never do it again. It’s kinda like when you go to a job interview and the perspective employer tries to make you jump through a bunch of hoops: you reach a certain age where you just don’t put up with that shit any more. Either we’re gonna give this thing a go or we’re not, ya know? Move on and find someone who is actually interested in you and mature enough to display some emotional honesty.
@8 and Pete Townsend for the win!
Anonymous weaksauce. Next!
@30:I second it!!
@8 and Pete Townsend for the win!!!
I agree with 10. You know what can be very therapeutic in this situation? Writing these feelings down on paper, then once you’re done crying about it, incinerate it.
Thoughts:
1)Didn’t they make a shitload of After-School Specials about this situation? You obviously watched ’em all and believed the part where the girl finally discovers her real love has been her bland but loyal guy-buddy she’s known since second grade. Don’t confuse TV with reality.
2)Bad metaphor, the bit about drunk truck driver. Truck drivers are usually fat blobs with bad teeth and poor hygiene. I wouldn’t be too torn up if one hit me, I think. And a drunk one? Geezus, if you couldn’t dodge that punch, you’d better get your synapses tested right away. Although I would be rather frightened if one had used a public restroom right before I entered. Try that as your imagery: “Understanding just hit me like a wave of atomized excrement wafting out of a beef-and-bean-burrito-eating truck driver’s asshole.” Or something like that.
3)Just kidding, truckers. Most of you are upstanding guys and girls. But there are a few of your brethren that… well, see above. Just fuckin’ gruesome.
4)The example of Philly’s “better” IAnons is hopelessly lame. If you think that’s funny, please move back there. You’ll improve the IQ of both cities…
You sound so, so creepy, Mr. Nice Guy.
A lot of commentators on I anonymous are fucked up. Why are half the comments people complaining that they are bored? You do know that the point of other peoples problems is not to titillate and entertain you. If you don’t like it, why do you even comment?
Small town yellowbird/batman, is that you? What a misrepresented confession of love. I forgive you’re cruel jokes if you forgive my cruel immaturity. You have become a consuming myth to me, and my love becomes more twisted and overwhelming each time I forget you for even a minute and am left with a dull ache, only to be slapped in the face with the reality of why I’m not happy with my life. I miss you.
That Philadelphia I,Anon was just lame. Bitching because your neighbors had the foresight to dig out their own parking spaces? And the confession admits that the mayor supports that practice, so if you don’t like it, you can move.
>You do know that the point of other peoples problems is not to titillate and entertain you.
They are if they are published in I, Anon. Isn’t that the whole point of why we read these? I think the chairs in parking spaces problem in Phili would have been more entertaining to read about.
Fuck any guy stupid enough to write this tripe.
Huh. Am I the only one who assumed the letter-writer was also a woman? It just reads like a woman’s writing – all the drama.
@41 I think it sounds like a man throughout, and the last paragraph, to me, cinches it: it’s all about the guys that this girl will fuck over in the future, with no mention of any girls, so she’s presumably straight, making the LW a man.