Let me make it clear to you. You’re a backstabbing tranny slut, aka former trusted friend. I’ve known you since before you were even legal, supported you with your transition, listened to your heartaches and breakups, celebrated your successes, and defended you when others mocked you. I’ve never asked for anything in return… but you decided to hook up with my man after I told you how happy I was with him. Sleeping with him over and over, even after you got caught! What you are is a jealous, envious freak of nature! Actually, there’s nothing natural about you. Your hips are fat-injected, your boobs are obsessively bigger than your Cro-Magnon head, your face looks like a shovel dipped in mud. I’d rather endure nails on a chalkboard than your inaudible, horrific voice and grammatically incorrect speech. You don’t have a heart, you don’t have a soul. Your artificial body will rot in hell on earth. Don’t tell me you’re sorry and that you didn’t mean to hurt me! Good riddance to you—not only did you lose a sexual exploit, you lost a genuine friend. Good luck finding clarity in your hormone-inflicted, prostitution-infested life! I don’t swear, but fuck you!
—Anonymous
She’s still apparently more attractive to your man than you are, though.
“i was supportive and caring but we’re not friends anymore so you’re an unnatural freak!” THAT’S what’s been going on with those transphobic types…
“Women be wise
keep your mouth shut
don’t advertise your man.” — Sippie Wallace
Think about this. Your man decided to hook up with her too. Over and over even after they got caught. Hmmmmm…
That’s not mud her shovel face was dipped in.
Takes two to tango, and I kinda doubt that Anon’s man was tied up and forcibly hooked up with repeatedly. Unless he was paying your ex-friend to do so…
Ha, now ain’t that some shit?
I’ll be stealing “your face looks like a shovel dipped in mud” the next time I insult someone. Thank you.
Since when do we let the illiterate write I Anon? This person is too liberal with the thesaurus. Inaudible? I do not think that means what you think it means.
“…your inaudible, horrific voice and grammatically incorrect speech.”
@10
Duh, obviously Anon’s ex-friend is telepathic. I have to sympathize – having bad grammar projected directly into your mind would be pretty annoying. Anon also states that the ex-friend lacks a heart and has an “artificial body.” So Anon’s friend is a slutty, transgendered Cro-Magnon cyborg with psychic powers and poor language skills. Most unusual.
@11 – More like most AWESOME. No wonder he’s hitting that.
@7- I couldn’t agree more. And Anon must’ve been either completely self-absorbed or totally delusional to think that everything was just wonderful in that relationship until the slutty best friend came along and wrecked it all.
Is Anon a man or a woman, or a fellow trans?
@10
Inconceivable!
my favorite is, “looks like her face caught on fire and someone put it out with a shovel”.
Once again, it shows how those poor souls who undergo gender reassignment are generally terribly mentally ill, and are rendered up to butchers rather than treated for their psychological dysfunction.
I read “grammatically incorrect Soul” and liked it!
Sounds like someone just read ‘Invisible Monsters’
Sounds like that letter of the day that everyone was debating was real or not… (felt real to me) – and this was the response.
It doesn’t matter what this “tranny slut” looks like – her guy is obviously into that sort of person (woman? man? not sure how I should refer to them, since it’s obvious there’s been some kind of surgery at least)…
20, You should refer to them as ‘tragedy’. They have been carved to pieces rather than treated medically. The butchers who perform such ‘surgery’ should have their licenses revoked.
Or you should refer to them however they’d like to be referred. And you should respect that they may have chosen to transition because it was something that would make them happier.
And, you should know that it isn’t responsible to instantly assign trans-folks diagnoses based on your own bigoted assumptions.
What’s a tragedy is how doctors like yourself and society in general treats trans-people. Like they are a problem that needs to be fixed instead of people that are choosing to live their life how they’d like to.
So, fuck this authors transphobic response. One friend who was trans had sex with their partner and now they condemn all transpeople as freaks.
And also, fuck this so called responsible doctor.
I believe in treating people with respect and tolerance. I don’t hate or disrespect people who want to reassign their gender. I save my disgust for people who cut them apart, instead of treating their mental illness.
Mental illness isn’t a bad thing. Depression, which I suffer from, is a mental illness. A transgender person is no _more_ mentally ill than I am. But butchering the body isn’t an approtpriate response. They’re like addicts who are addicted to plastic surgery. Cutting the genitals doesn’t solve the underlying neuropathology.
I was with you until you started tearing into her appearance. Not every woman gets the benefits from having estrogen during puberty.
“Supporting” your trans friend to her face while you save up catty comments about her body to use against her later. That’s the opposite of classy and the opposite of friendship, you stupid piece of shit. Sounds like you’re a real barrel of laughs. I don’t blame your bf for cheating on you. Here’s hoping your friend finds herself some better friends and your man finds himself a better girlfriend.
And yet the cheating man is innocent in this diatribe? Sorry, IA, but you lost your right to outrage when you kept the man after you discovered that he was screwin’ around.
I am not especially vehement about monogamy but I am a bear for kindness and honesty and a dude who goes behind your back with a friend is neither honest nor kind.
Since everybody is piling on I’ll do the opposite for fun:
It’s easy when you become furious at someone you loved to use their biggest weaknesses against them, in this case a transgender’s self-confidence on their appearance.
It is actually kind of noble to use “I, Anonymous” to extract this venom instead of spewing it directly at your former friend. (Unless of course you knew she’d read this column – that would be cowardly)
Those jumping on you for “not holding your man equally responsible” are doing so with very little information.
Anyway, you’ve had a life lesson on what a “user” is and how they act (not to mention a “cheater”). Don’t let people like that into your life again.
“Those jumping on you for “not holding your man equally responsible” are doing so with very little information.”…..
You’re right, in part- there are always three sides to a story His, Hers and the objective reality…we have only hers and only the part she chose to tell….
but when IA wrote “….. but you decided to hook up with my man after I told you how happy I was with him. Sleeping with him over and over, even after you got caught!” that tells us that she kept the man and that he continued to cheat on her with her (now former) friend- That’s about all the information needed to determine that there’s a double standard in play.
“Responsible Doc” should have his (yes, I’m sure it’s a “he”) license revoked.
What a disgusting sack of shit.
@28 Not really. Could be that he did the “over and over” cheating, got caught, was forgiven but did it once again. Since this rant is directed at the tranny only we have no information on if a similar rant was given to the “man” after getting caught or, highly unlikely, she places all blame on the tranny.
I don’t think you can judge much of anything from an anonymous rant (although that’s the purpose I guess). We’re all capable of having shitty instincts and saying regretful things when someone hurts us. Emotions are a bitch.
@29, on what grounds? That you don’t agree with him? Riiiiight…
My vanilla life sounds better and better every time I read this column.
@26 I’m sure the diatribe directed at him was far less than anonymous.
So your man prefers a “fat-injected freak whose boobs are obsessively bigger than it’s Cro-Magnon head and a face that looks like a shovel dipped in mud?”
@29, You may call names and petition and protesxt all you like. Meanwhile, responsible health care practitioners should be seeking every possible avenue of aiding the mentally ill. Treating neurological conditions as neurological is hardly revolutionary.
@”Responible” Doc: “I believe in treating people with respect and tolerance. I don’t hate or disrespect people who want to reassign their gender. I save my disgust for people who cut them apart, instead of treating their mental illness.”
When you call someone’s gender identity a “mental illness,” you are not exactly treating them with “respect and tolerance.” And if the problem is body modification, does this mean that people who get piercings should be treated for mental illness too?
You know what? When some chick steals your man, you trash her looks. When a boy I liked started dating a chick with a glass eye, you can bet your ass I was thinking “WHY IS HE DATING A CYCLOPS INSTEAD OF MEEE”!! Transwomen get no special privileges in this case, we will tear apart your imperfections until the cows come home. Would you tear apart the other woman if she was a bio-chick with fake tittays? You bet your ass you would. Transladies, if you want to be treated ‘just like other women’, this is part of the deal.
@36: Any desire for radical irreversible body modification might be a symptom of a mental illness. Piercings and tattoos are not likely to meet the threshold, nor common cosmetic procedures in isolation. Someone who had had as much as Joan Rivers or Michael Jackson? Yes, I think there’s a significant likelihood of a mental illness there.
You seem to be assuming that I consider a mental ilness to be a “bad thing”. There’s nothing evil or wrong about having a mental illness, any more than having the flu or cancer. It’s a disease that needs treatment to prevent irreversible catastrophic damage. Like depression needs to be treated to prevent suicide, or alcoholism to prevent death by systemic deterioration.
Sometimes, and if you are a teen you’ll learn this as you get older, treating people with respect means being critical of their own desires when those desires are manifestly not in their own best interest. If your friend wanted to kill herself, would consider the respectful response to be allowing her to do so, or would you look for, I don’t know, a responsible doctor?
@38 The offense is being taken at your supposition that having a differing gender identity than the one that matches your crotch is an illness. You imply that being transgender is an abnormality, and that therefore the only “healthy” norm is feeling like a girl if you’ve got a cooter, and feeling like a boy if you have a dick.
Gender is, in essence, entirely a matter of self-identification and socialization. So what the hell does it mean to feel like a girl? Am I supposed to like cooking, cleaning, playing house, boys? Do I have to want to be a mom? Should I think spiders are icky? Am I supposed to be made out of sugar and spice? Does any of that have anything to do with being a girl? No. Does it have anything to do with my vagina? No.
But I feel like a girl. And I’ve felt like one as long as I can remember. So if a bio-boy also feels like a girl for as long as she can remember, who’s to say she’s not? You? I would certainly hope not, your views on gender and mental illness are sadly outdated, and serve to do nothing more than reinforce dysfunctional cultural norms. Might as well put homosexuality back in the DSM with people like you in charge.
Furthermore, it’s up to an individual to determine what’s best for them, not a fucking doctor. Try having some respect for the people you treat. If a friend wanted to kill themselves, I’d get them to, say – people who love and care about them, and can help them recognize their worth. Not someone who’s first instinct is to play god and drug them into a stupor. And I do think you’re the type who likes to play god. The whole attitude of “Transgenderism is a mental illness, I know, I’m a doctor. Here, I’m going to make you better,” reeks of narcissism.
@17, I hardly think that a transgender woman who sleeps with her friend’s boyfriend is evidence that transgender people as a whole are mentally ill. I have no idea how many cisgender women have slept with their friends’ boyfriends, but I’m assuming the number is high, and not an indication that they’re mentally ill. Bitches, maybe, but mentally sound ones.
@39:
Your very argument is nonsensical. If it is only up to a person, and not a doctor, what their gender is, then feel free to try to change your gender without one.
Abnormality, mental illness, these are not terms of judgement. Depression is a mental illness. Alcoholism is a mental illness. These things may be atypical by comparison to the cohort of the entire population, but they aren’t evil or wrong or bad.
We don’t treat depression with death. We don’t treat alcoholism with bourbon, and we shouldn’t treat gender identity disorders with radical irreversible surgery.
Treat the actual problem, not its symptoms.
^ Alcoholism and Depression aren’t bad?
@37, thanks, Caralain – that’s what I wanted to say, but you said it much better than I could have.
@39, what does it feel like, this “I feel like a girl” feeling? I’ve been a girl my whole life, but I don’t know if I feel like a girl or a boy. I don’t feel particularly comfortable in my skin, though I don’t associate my discomfort with my genitals in particular, except during my period. I guess, like many things in life, it’s a spectrum. Some bio-girls “feel like girls” and some bio-boys “feel like girls,” and some of us just feel like awkward people, and don’t really understand how anyone experiences gender as either right or wrong.
This is hate speech. Quit publishing transphobic bullshit.
@ 43, EricaP, no problem! I also agree with you about this ‘feel like a girl’ stuff. I’ve never understood that. I don’t hate my vagina (like the vagina monologues suggest I must) but I don’t revel in it’s hairy bloody labial glory either (like the vagina monologues suggest I should). I don’t associate better with women than men, or feel whole and complete when I put on makeup. If surgery makes you feel more whole and complete, more power to you, but don’t pigeonhole me along the way. Gender is a spectrum indeed.
There likely is a part of the brain that determines what gender we think we are, no matter what the evidence of our body is. Another part of the brain probably determines what gender we are sexually attracted to. During development, the body, through genetics and hormones, has to decide what gender to make these parts of the brain, just like it has to decide what gender to make our genitals and the rest of our body. it gets these things wrong a surprisingly high percentage of the time, and for the genitalia, the formation can even be ambiguous at birth. In an ideal world, (and likely sometime this century), we could identify babies whose neurological “identity centers” don’t match their bodies, and correct it in infancy so that their self-identity matches their body. But until that time, the best we can do is the very invasive surgery to make their body match their gender identity. “Responsible Doc” is partially correct in that the hormone therapy and radical cosmetic surgery can be life-threatening and aren’t something to undertake lightly, but he’s wrong in thinking that psychology (or religion) is going to work at all. At present, hormones and surgery are the only known therapies that reliably prevent the depression and suicidal tendencies that afflict those with gender dysphoria.
@Responsible Doc, get to work and stop trolling the forums at The Stranger.
I really hope you’re not a doctor. Or, that you’re not in change or sex reassignment surgery.
@41 (Responsible Doc)…
“Abnormality, mental illness, these are not terms of judgement.”
“Abnormality” is not a term of judgment? Since when? The concept of normal does nothing but exclude what is considered abnormal, and has historically been the basis of pretty much all oppression throughout history. Those who do not fit the dominant, “normal” paradigm are ostracized, marginalized and/or subjugated. While some of the things we consider “abnormal” have that label with good reason (i.e. sociopathy, cancer, etc.), a shit-ton of what was once considered abnormal no longer carries that label (i.e. homosexuality, divorce, women’s lib).
The fact that you don’t see your opinions as judgmental speaks volumes about your lack of self-awareness. I sincerely hope you’re not a medical provider… you’re representing the profession terribly.
I wonder what “Responsible Doc” thinks of babies born with ambiguous genitalia — and wrongly assigned a gender (most are assigned female and raised as girls)…
I’d like to know what exactly “Responsible Doc” thinks is an appropriate neurological treatment for gender dysphoria… is that like when the medical profession used to (and religious fanatics now) try to “re-educate” homosexuality?
heh. I can only hope that this sad loser of a tranny is my ex
Of course “abnormal” is not a term of judgement. It simply means that the trait in question occurs in a relatively small minority of the population.
As for homosexuality, I see nothing inappropriate about it and am proudly in favor of gay marriage and gay adoption. Infants with ambiguous genitalia is far from my specialty and I can’t claim anything other than standard lay-knowledge of the subject.
For Gender Dysphoria, I would generally prescribe psychiatric treatment by a qualified physician, or psychologist working in close collaboration with a physician, as dysphorias frequently require anti-depressant medication.
Those in favor of gender reassignment should explain why they favor an irreversible surgical procedure when it has been shown recently that suicide is one of the highest causes of death among post-op transsexuals (Asscheman, Giltay et al, Eur. J. Endochrin., 2011).
The surgical treatment is known to be ineffective in the epidemiological treatment of gender dysphoria. But because it is politically incorrect to treat these suffering individuals with appropriate care, many people are needlessly dying.