Credit: STeven Weissman

What the fuck, old man? There is an entire locker room filled with empty lockers that you can use—stop choosing the one right next to mine! Don’t give me that “I always use this locker” shit, because you’ve done it more than once and were not at the same locker.

You don’t think I can feel your creepy old molester eyes looking at me while I get ready to head into the shower? If you want to stare at a younger guy’s dick, become a Catholic priest—don’t go to my gym. When you take your time getting ready so that you can be there when I get back from the shower, it’s fucking obvious what you are doing. And it’s disgusting, not to mention rude.

Seriously, next time I won’t ask you what the hell you think you’re doing taking the locker next to mine, I’ll throw the fucking horribleness that is you out of the locker room and spit on you and your broken fucking hip.

—Anonymous

53 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  5. the perv is sick and disgusting. i would definitely tell him to leave you alone!!!! with conviction and verbal force. he needs to stay away from you

  7. The only way I know you’re not me, Anon, is because I just ignore the old creepy guy who often takes a locker near me. If it makes his mumbling, eighty-something, borderline-demented day better to give me weirdly blank, watery stares while I change, well, it’s no skin off my neck. It’s not like he’s a threat. Frankly I don’t know how he even fights off gravity.

    I wish he would wear more pants, though. Those itty-bitty 1970s-style gym shorts are out for a reason and the desire to ogle is not mutual.

  8. Let him get his jollies unless he tries to touch. It doesn’t cost you anything. In fact, you should offer to sell him your undies for $100 and turn lemons into lemonaide.

  10. I agree with 8 – let him look and fantasize and have his jollies as long as he is harmless and is not touching you. We are all going to be old one day and he is probably remembering about some young man he had a crush/fling with back in his day. Show some compassion – consider it doing your public service. When I used to go to the baths I would have sex with an old gentlmen from time to time it gave them such enormous pleasure (I was/am not that good or good looking!).

  11. Doubly agree with #10. I have been young and hot and now I am older and — not so hot. How does it hurt some young guy for me to look at him? I am discreet, or at least try to be. One day, you will be older, and you will wish that people didn’t freak out everytime you used your eyeballs for what they were invented for. Grow up!

  12. I’m gonna head over to my 24-Hour tomorrow morning and stake out the straightest-looking hunkfest I can find and totally make his skin crawl. Gonna drool while he takes a leak. Gonna cackle and smile while he wipes his ass. This I,A is just FULL of creative ideas for a disgusting old perv like me! Maybe I’ll pick you!

  13. @8, 10, 11: I can’t believe you think this kind of harassment is OK. Skeevy Locker Room Guy should have the decency to keep from staring when a stranger is getting dressed next to him. IA doesn’t say how old he is, but even if he’s an adult it’s disturbing to be stared in this manner…so what if the guy doesn’t have the strength to rape him?

  15. at #9, I bet the eye oggaling attractive women recieve is rather uncomfortable, but when you wear things that draw attention, such as low shirts, it’s really hard not to look at some cleavage or some sexy legs

  18. Uh, yeah, you’re naked in a locker room. If you don’t want to be looked at don’t get naked in a locker room. This isn’t astrophysics dude.

  19. Yeah, #9 and #18 are right on. I’m a guy attracted to attractive women (duh), and it is hard to not check it out, because I know so many guys are assholes about it. I try not to be an asshole, too, but then sometimes, well, I get caught. I always think about that when gay men are checking me out and I feel uncomfortable, how it must be like that for cute girls all the fucking time. Oh, and #16: Women can wear whatever the fuck they want without it being an invitation for you to get your creep on.

  20. I’m a pretty girl who goes to the gym and pool a lot with my boyfriend TO EXERCISE, not star in anyone’s fantasies. We both get creeped on frequently by old men and it can ruin our day. A few times, we’ve even left early when someone is so blatant that one of us feels harassed. We’re your grandkids, not your sex objects, assholes!

  21. @11,

    It’s pretty clear that Mr. Creepster isn’t discreet. Creepy motherfuckers like him get off on making others uncomfortable. Being indiscreet/creepy is the entire fucking point.

    @21,

    Report the fuckers to gym management. They may not kick the assholes out, but the creepers will hopefully at least get extra scrutiny, and management will be aware of their background in the event the creepers actually try to assault someone.

  23. Hey! This sounds suspiciously like something I posted on my FB a week ago! Surely this isn’t an epidemic? No matter how empty the locker room at my gym is… There ALWAYS seems to be a sixty something STARK NAKED old man hovering right smack dab next to mine… Why is the universe playing this cruel joke on me?

  25. And to 9 & 18 I’ll add, you don’t have to be beautiful either. I’d say I’m just average, my wardrobe shoots for cool rather than “sexy” but I get the creep eye multiple times per week. Or the drive by honk. Hate the drive by honk.

  28. 28 nailed it. The Homos are all over each other as long as you’re “beautiful”. But if not, than you’re a geezer perv?

  30. Another asshole gay-get over yourself. Ignore the guy or move if it’s too much trouble to nicely tell the poor old guy to stop. Shitbrain.

  31. Time makes trolls of us all. Get over yourself, kid. Ask him to stop, and when he doesn’t, talk to mgmt.
    As for beating the crap out of him, I hope you try. I’d love to watch your trial, you mean-assed little shit. Your attitude deserves a few nights in the slammer, where the guys do more than just look.

  32. Why is everyone assuming IA is gay? And quite frankly, male, female, gay, straight, young and old shouldnt matter.

    It’s never ok to act that way towards other people for any reason.

    Are you people all seriously that callous? “Hey that guy is staring at me in a completely uncomfortable and overtly sexual way.”

    “FUCK YOU, YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE TREATED DECENTLY BY OTHER HUMANS, NOW LET US EXAMINE YOUR DICK REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU WANT US TO.”

    WTF is wrong with you people?

  33. How does this guy always know where your locker is? So this guy isn’t even following you into the shower, he’s just hanging around the locker room? Easy. When you see him at the locker next to yours, take your stuff and move to a different locker before you take any clothes off.

    And how do we know I,A is gay? Because hot straight guys do not even use the locker room. The only guys who use the locker room, much less teh showers, are ugly guys nobody wants to see naked and the occasional hot gay one.

  34. I know it’s Schadenfreude, but this article made my day. It’s nice to know that there really is a karmic balance–I knew that your team goes out of its way to make straight guys uncomfortable, but I didn’t know there was anyone giving you a taste of your own medicine. Y’all can dish it out, but you can’t take it, as it were.

  36. Reminds me of my gym creepster…would say he’s Australian and ask for help opening a combination lock because they didn’t have them back in Oz.

  37. @39 – I was an Australian living in the US and when I first moved there I honestly did have problems with the combination locks in the gyms as we do not have them down under. I don’t think (or hope) ir is me you are commenting on as I did not live in Seattle

  39. really!!!! some old guy stares at your dick and this is an issue, really???? WHO CARES!!!! IT’S A COMPLIMENT ASSHOLE!!!!! OR, IT IS SO SMALL HE’S AMAZED!!!

  41. Zoiks, Scoob!! @43’s got a point!
    I KNEW there was a logical reason to avoid the gym, no matter what my shape or size!

    Hell hath no warped sickness like a pervert drooling!Ick!

  43. It’s basic etiquette not to stare at other naked dudes in the locker room.

    It’s OK (not mean, selfish, ageist or homophobic) to get annoyed when this etiquette is breached.

    If some of you posting here are comfortable having someone stare at you in the locker room, that’s fine. Expecting everyone else to be comfortable with this is not fine.

    And this scenario is not the equivalent of a clothed woman being stared at by a man in public. The closer equivalent would be a naked woman in a locker room being stared at repeatedly by another woman who made a routine of approaching despite being given no indication of mutual interest.

  46. actually, you’re all gay, stop looking at me in the locker room, i don’t care if i tie my shoes standing up before i put all my other clothes on

  47. I would suggest reporting him to the gym management. Assaulting him could get you arrested and in big trouble, while reporting him could get him kicked out.

  50. please I’m a pretty damn butch dyke in boy drag, I’m fat and I’m not cute, and I still get creeps and stalkers frequently (always men). And I don’t feel the least bit sorry for creeps, no matter how old they are. I like looking at girls but I don’t cross the line and invade their space, which is what this old fuck is doing to this dude, old dude needs to fuck off and cut that shit out, fuck him.

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