Mostly, I’m a responsible citizen. I pay my parking tickets, my taxes, and my library fines. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to pick up my dog’s poop. It just doesn’t seem like a very big deal to me; a few turds in the grass by the side of the road doesn’t hurt anyone, now does it? If it’s right smack in the middle of the sidewalk, well, yes, that’s a different story, but even then… I sometimes don’t have a bag with me. I know what you’re saying to yourself. You’re saying, “If everyone thought like you, we’d have giant mountains of dogshit on every corner!” True, but everyone doesn’t think like me. Most people do pick up their dog’s shit, and for that reason, my dog’s shit is of little matter. So if you’ve stepped on some dogshit and you live in Northwest, there’s a likely chance it came from my dog. And I’m sorry… but not that sorry.

–Anonymous

100 replies on “I DON’T PICK UP MY DOG’S POOP”

  1. What about neighbors who have four large dogs and scoop all the crap into a shovel and throw it directly into the river? What can be done about such filthy people?
    I love LOVE LOVVEEE the thoughts of putting dog shit on their car door handle!
    I also love the thought of putting bacon grease on their mess to have them eat it up! *YUMMMY*
    But… the absolute best was something my own father came up with years ago for this mean ol’ Shepherd/Doberman cross when I was a kid. My dad has asked the owner nicely to keep his dog on his property, not to let it loose because of the small kids in the neighborhood. The owner basically told my dad to go screw himself. Sooooo, my dad got some fresh ground beef and made a couple meatballs, put a whole box of exlax in them and fed them to the dog! The dog messed their house up big time, their furniture, bed, everywhere.
    Sad thing is that they brought the dog to the vet who said that the dog’s insides were messed up and suggested they put the dog out of it’s misery. Oh well, he was a mean ol’ thing anyway, like I said. Problem solved.

  2. If you can’t “bring yourself to be bothered” about picking up your dog’s poop, then you’re an asshole — plain and simple. Ponder that, because its true. I don’t care if you spend all day feeding chicken noodle soup to cancer ridden children. You’re an inconsiderate ass.

  4. I think it is just awful that people who don’t pick up their dog poop and the law should be tougher.Thank god they don’t live in my neighborhood because I have a saying….”better in a bag then mashed in your face!”and I might add my lawn is clean and shit free.

  5. Ok I understand people fustrations towards dog mess, my partner slipped on dog mess nearly fell over grabbed on to me and i nearly went down as well lol I also see the funny side of it but i didn’t fall thank god.

    On a more serious note though, those promoting cruelty to animals etc “Fed Up” how would you like it if it was your dads innards messed up and not the dogs and your father had to be put down, no not very nice is it. Such behaviour is unacceptable, it is not the pets fault it is the owners fault and therefore any action in response to the situation should be aimed at them.

  6. I love the way we all make a big deal about dog shit,but noone gives a shit about the amount of cats shitting everyware,i have one dog who mostly shits in my garden,my nabour has 5 cats thats shit in EVERYONES garden.

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  8. Yes it is hurting things!!! First, no one likes to be walking down the sidewalk and step in your dogs poop with their brand new shoes. This is basic respect; it is rude, disgusting, and UNLAWFUL not to pick up after your dog. Plus, who likes to walk by and smell the rancid, week old dog poop rotting away in the yard. Which brings me to my next point, DOG POOP IS NOT FERTILIZER!!!! Many people think that just because cow manure is biodegradable that dog poop is too. It is actually very bad for the environment. In fact, 30% of water pollution is from dog poop. That is down right sad people!!!!!!!!!!!! We are now all going to die of water poisoning because some irresponsible dog owners were to lazy to pick up their dogs poop. Not only could we die from this but dog “presents” are known for carrying many parasites that no only could make the dog sick but make humans sick too, especially children. Your killing the children people!!!!!!! It is also a law that you must pick up your dog’s poop. The fine is anywhere from $150 to $500+ in some places!!!!! This is also just irresponsibility and showing bad dog ownership. Your actions affect others and they do the same thing. Please reconsider!!!

  9. “I’m a responsible citizen. I pay my parking tickets, my taxes, and my library fines”

    False statement.

    Responsible citizens don’t get parking tickets and library fines – disorganised selfish people do.

    None of us is perfect and occasionally we make errors of judgement that result in minor penalties such as these, but the reliance of the author in paying the fines and tickets as evidence of good citizenship is silly (word chosen to convey the childlike quality).

    The author is saying “F*** you world, this is what I am going to do and I don’t care” – so there is not much to be gained by getting angry about it.

    I can only hope that one day you reach a level of maturity to take some responsibility – if you are capable of that …

  10. Hey all you haters: You do realize there are squirrels and raccoons and outdoor cats and birds and … crapping all over the great urban outdoors, don’t you? You don’t get to live in a poop-free world. Why the special focus on dogs? I do scoop – 90% of the time – but I don’t see why this is such a big deal as long as its not on the sidewalk or someone’s yard or whatever.

  11. If you own a dog, you own that dog’s shit and all the responsibility that comes with it. If you don’t want to deal with dog shit, get a cat and keep it indoors. For the records I have 2 indoor cats, kept indoors mainly because I think forcing other people to deal with MY cats (or their crap) on THEIR space (or public space) is rude and selfish.

    Clean up after your damn dog. Its not my dog, not my crap, and expecting me or the public to deal with it is very selfish.

    @60 volume matters as does agency. That’s why we focus on pets.

  12. Our house is the last in a row of town homes, so we are one of four houses in a group of thirty homes that sits on half an acre. As such, we are PICKING UP YOUR DOG’S POOP, asshole. You’re not the only one. People walk their dogs at 10 pm, when we’re already up to bed, and they think they are the ONLY ONES who do this. We have a chihuahua, yet routinely pick up the poop of the german shepherd, the poodle, the border collie… What’s next? Do I have to pick up YOUR shit too?

  13. Heck, I usually use a toilet.

    But if I TAKE A SHIT on the ground sometimes, it won’t matter as long as most people don’t.

    Isn’t that convenient?

    Doc

  14. It’s the very people who refuse to be responsible pet owners who complain the loudest when public areas are closed to pets.

    I live at the beach and it’s prohibited to walk your dog on the sidewalk because of assholes like this guy.

  16. I’m an extremely responsible dog owner – my dog is very well behaved, quiet, and friendly, and I clean up after her. If you’re not going to operate at the same standard, you don’t deserve to own a dog.

    #48 has exactly the right idea – don’t get mad, get even. I encourage abusing the living hell out of irresponsible, selfish shitbags like this. You might not think it’s that big a deal, but if I see your dog shit, and I don’t see you pick it up, I will ruin your fucking day, asshole. Don’t like it? Don’t get a dog.

  17. @51

    I seriously hope that someone puts poison in YOUR food and you end up in the same position as that poor dog. It’s not the dog’s fault that he was in your yard; it was the owner’s. Anyone who thinks that killing someone’s pet is hilarious has serious problems and is probably a sociopath.

  18. @60:
    I’ll stop and reflect on your post the next time I’m strolling down the Avenue and step in a big steaming pile of squirrel shit.

  19. Used to have a neighbour that carried their little mutt to my yard to crap, then carried it home after. I used to shovel it back to his yard. Later, when I walked my dog and picked up his dump in a nice sanitary bag, i would carry it on the walk and dump it out on the neighbours’ yard, and this was long after I moved to a different house. The gift that kept giving.

  21. You are a douche that gives all of us responsible pet owners a bad name! Get a goldfish and keep the shit in you own home!

  22. This is a sanitation issue. Flies lay eggs in animal waste which turns into more flies. Black flies are disgusting.

    I agree picking up the poo is gross. There are some new devices that make it less gross, so you don’t have to touch the poo.

    Please be considerate of others and understand that flies multiply rapidly, causing real problems for the health of people. Have you ever seen those commercials asking for money to help children in other countries…they often have flies on them and many of those people end up sick.

  23. I live in a small community. In this community I have my own very small yard. Part of my rent each month is the office paying someone to come cut my yard. Ive lived here for around a year now. Yesterday after two straight months of the lawn care people neglected to cut my entire yard I asked them VERY nicely to make sure to get the two foot tall weeds they have been missing. The office called me today. Now they are telling me I need to clean up after my dogs pooping in MY yard. Seriously? All of a sudden after all this time when I ask them to do their entire job now my dogs poop is a problem? They havent grown, the poop size is the same its always been. Im not taking them on walks and letting them crap in peoples yards. Im not letting them roam free, they are always outside only with mine or my husbands supervision on leashes. They use the exact same spots each time they go. The tall grass was not around the dogs poop either, it was across the yard from it entirely. So Im taking a stand against this. I am NOT going to clean up after my dogs in my own yard. Part of cutting grass is to cut the entire area of grass, and if you get your panties in a bunch over someone asking you to remember to cut those parts of the yard you missed for two months then you need a new profession. I know there are contraptions I can buy to pick up dog crap, but Im not buying them, nor am I bending over to pick it up by hand. I also know that this wasnt an issue until they had to do their job. My rental agreement does state that I am responsible for cleaning up after my pets, but it says specifically when you take them for a walk, or in ‘common’ areas. When I walk them to the dog park I do. If they go along the way, I pick it up. I just refuse to clean up after them in the yard I pay for. Ill cut the tiny yard myself if it comes down to it, but they will be removing the charge from my rent if I do.

  24. “Poovenge” The act of peacefully seeking revenge against lazy, careless, arrogant, self loving, selfish, dog owners, who are not responsible enough to pick up their dogs feces.

    http://poovenge.blogspot.com/

    This attitude of not picking up your own dogs feces is shocking. Your idea of it not being a big deal is frighting. This was of thinking is making society what it is today? Where have all the gentleman gone? Is it not time to change our attitude towards our dogs chocolate.

  25. People who d0 not pick up their dog poop are nasty–simple. They probably have very dirty homes. They are inconsiderate and irresponsible and quite lazy to top it off. They want a dog, but they do not want the responsibility of cleaning up after a dog. They wipe their own butts, their newborns butts, but they cant get a plastic bag and pick up their dog poop. It really says a lot about a person. My wife, daughter and I always pick up after our dog. Flies swarming around lingering poop. but since I have shit for neighbors, I guess I understand where they are coming from.

  26. People who d0 not pick up their dog poop are nasty–simple. They probably have very dirty homes. They are inconsiderate and irresponsible and quite lazy to top it off. They want a dog, but they do not want the responsibility of cleaning up after a dog. They wipe their own butts, their newborns butts, but they cant get a plastic bag and pick up their dog poop. It really says a lot about a person. My wife, daughter and I always pick up after our dog. Flies swarming around lingering poop. but since I have shit for neighbors, I guess I understand where they are coming from.

  27. Dear Abby,

    My wife and I bought a house in a neighborhood that was shameless in self-aggrandizement, never shy to let every other county in the region know how wonderful the residents are, how much pride they take in the little corner of Florida. We looked around, did our homework, and decided to drink the Kool-Aid.
    We quickly learned that, as our home was a foreclosure, our yard was being used as the local dog shitter, as was the lovely, treed island running the length of our street. When we confronted people letting their dogs shit IN our yard, on OUR walkway, and in the island, we were told by most that they didn’t have to clean up after their dogs and they never do. We offered them bags to pick up their mess. Most got offended, with a kind of ‘how dare you’ incredulousness.
    After the ninth or tenth time stepping in shit we called the authorities to check our options. They needed us to follow the people home and get an address as it is illegal in our county to leave a mess behind. People do not take kindly to being followed. It’s kind of creepy, especially when you are carrying a bag of feces, moaning ‘pooooooo….pooooooo, I have poooo”.
    We are somewhat stuck. I can’t follow everyone home, and I won’t continue to pick up after other people’s dogs. They are lazy fucks, though that seems to be the new American Dream. ‘I have a dream to do as little as possible, complain about everything I do not have, and blame everyone else for it.’ Get a pooper scooper, about $15 USD. You will feel like a king. ‘King Poo-dro the III’ they will call you. Your life will change!
    There are almost 20 dogs that visit shit island, and surely each thinks they are the only one doing it, hence, no big deal. Have you ever smelled 20 dogs business after baking in the Florida sun and humidity for a few hours? I tried watching everywhere I walked, but it hurt my neck staring at the ground for hours at a time and people thought there was something wrong with me. And if I wanted to drink poo water I would finish my morning business, get a straw, and have at it. Maybe you non-poo-picker-uppers should give it a try.

    Any other brilliant suggestions?

  28. Dear Abby,

    My wife and I bought a house in a neighborhood that was shameless in self-aggrandizement, never shy to let every other county in the region know how wonderful the residents are, how much pride they take in the little corner of Florida. We looked around, did our homework, and decided to drink the Kool-Aid.
    We quickly learned that, as our home was a foreclosure, our yard was being used as the local dog shitter, as was the lovely, treed island running the length of our street. When we confronted people letting their dogs shit IN our yard, on OUR walkway, and in the island, we were told by most that they didn’t have to clean up after their dogs and they never do. We offered them bags to pick up their mess. Most got offended, with a kind of ‘how dare you’ incredulousness.
    After the ninth or tenth time stepping in shit we called the authorities to check our options. They needed us to follow the people home and get an address as it is illegal in our county to leave a mess behind. People do not take kindly to being followed. It’s kind of creepy, especially when you are carrying a bag of feces, moaning ‘pooooooo….pooooooo, I have poooo”.
    We are somewhat stuck. I can’t follow everyone home, and I won’t continue to pick up after other people’s dogs. They are lazy fucks, though that seems to be the new American Dream. ‘I have a dream to do as little as possible, complain about everything I do not have, and blame everyone else for it.’ Get a pooper scooper, about $15 USD. You will feel like a king. ‘King Poo-dro the III’ they will call you. Your life will change!
    There are almost 20 dogs that visit shit island, and surely each thinks they are the only one doing it, hence, no big deal. Have you ever smelled 20 dogs business after baking in the Florida sun and humidity for a few hours? I tried watching everywhere I walked, but it hurt my neck staring at the ground for hours at a time and people thought there was something wrong with me. And if I wanted to drink poo water I would finish my morning business, get the necessary hardware, and have at it. Maybe you non-poo-picker-uppers should give it a try.

    Any other brilliant suggestions?

  31. I have never picked up MY dogs turds outside. Or my cats for that matter. But then – this is because I dont “walk” my animals. I put them in the back yard or take them to an isolated area where they can run around as they please. I dont go parading my pets all up and down the neighborhood. It just looks stupid – people bending over with their little green bags to pick up their designer little dog turds. I think this is more of an urban issue where there are only sidewalks around and no backyards. If you have a back yard – dont be an a-hole and parade your dog all around and then refuse to pick up the poop. I hate people in the neighborhood always frolicking by with their crappin ass pets. Keep that crap at home. Get those little dogs a wee wee mat or something. I dont even see the point in those itty bitty sickly things you call teacups, but it seems to be the fashion…at least here in Miami. I think its all good and fine if people wanna pick up dog crap everyday but when someone gives you a death stare because you dont always have a poop bag in your pocket – thats just pull the stick out of your a** territory.

  32. Picking up your dogs shit comes with the territory of having a dog. How hard is it to pick up your dogs shit.. I mean REALLY!? It takes two seconds. Geez.. laziness.

  35. to all the people commenting, “why can’t you just watch where you step?” are you telling me that when you go to the park your eyes are constantly on the ground looking for dog poo instead of looking around at the scenery (trees, sunlight, pretty women)? if you’re that obsessed with finding dog poo one would think you’d have a blast picking it up once you found some. it’s obvious here that which side of this debate contains the more intelligent individuals.

  37. Its simple really! Owning a dog comes with responsibilities and respect for others! I do hate picking up my dog’s poop. But part of being mature is doing things you do not want to do! So, PICK UP YOUR DOG’S POOP!

  38. A part from being a pet owner is being responsible for the things you do not want to do. Otherwise, you have no business taking care of one. So be considerate and PICK UP YOUR POOP!

  39. Please keep your damn pets from crapping in peoples yards!!

    I wish there was an electric shock system that I could put around the perimeter of my yard and the median where I need to mow the grass, that would shock the crap out of both cats & dogs that dump there, so they will never think about it again. It would be really fun to watch them spazz out and shudder for a second or two, and walk away dizzy. LOL!

    Actually, it would be great if the system could shock the pet owners as well, simultaneously, so they would not let their cats roam into my garden to crap, and not let their dogs run ahead off their leash, crap while they are out of their sight, and then they pass right by and don’t even realize their stupid dog crapped on my lawn.

    Screw the irresponsible and disrespectful pet owners! Turds!!

  40. For all the people who are rather upset, I think it’s necessary to take a step back and calm down. Many of you are making rather strong generalizations of a person’s character for this lack of responsibility. A pet owner who does not pick up after their pet is being irresponsible, but frankly, many of you are over-reacting and making strong judgments about people you don’t know over something that is not a very strong indication of character. Let’s say you saw someone wearing a dirty shirt… would you assume that they’re simply a disgusting person, a horrible spouse and drug-addicted? Probably not – and there’s a reason for that: you’re well aware that your judgment factor isn’t very significant and has a poor correlate with the judgments you made about that person’s character. I think most of us agree that not picking up after your dog is irresponsible, but irrational and exaggerated anger is much, much worse for the world in the long run. Is it so hard to not demonize people?

  41. I just stepped on a dog poop that some irresponsible dog owner left in the grass by the side of the road this morning. Why was I in the grass? Because my dog pooped there and I was picking it up. It would take that person only a second to pick it up, but because he/she neglected to do it, it took me 10 minutes to clean my sneakers after stepping on it. I’m sure whoever neglected to pick up that poop has no idea what his/her lack of responsibility caused me this morning. But is it really that hard to think about and be considerate to others? I’m glad I am not like those irresponsible people. I guess my parents did a good job raising me properly 🙂

  43. you are all so dumb dog poop is poop. you think a plastic bag protects you from all the diseases it carries. do you pick up your cat poop? or bird poop or raccoons should they pick up there poop? do you realize that animals have shit on the earth for years and it is natural and good? so yeah i dont pick up my dog poop and im proud. im not the one destroying the environment with my baggies you are
    the poop will be gone in a day control where you walk and where your kid walks
    oh yeah about that go ask your kids doctor how many more cases of worms she sees in children who have parents that pick up dog shit

    you are all nasty

  44. Unbelievable…I have laughed my ASS off at some of these comments. While my Golden was alive, I always picked up after him no matter how gross…in my own yard, I’d hose the piles down. How nasty of those who don’t keep clean. What is really over the top is how people who don’t pick-up feel that this behavior is ‘normal’, and tough shit (no pun intended) for those of us who have to endure their filth. I, for one, will not be forced to live that way and end up cleaning after other people’s pets as I don’t want my children, or grandchildren, or even YOUR children and family to step in it, smear it, eat it. etc….however, I damn sure raise hell about it with you next time I see you being so disgusting! Thank you all for the GREAT and CREATIVE ideas on how to deal with the issue. Happy to use them myself.:)

    Oh, and as for the dog who supposedly ate the ex-lax…oh wahhh. Cry me a river!

  45. Most of you guys are looking stupid for talking each other the way that you’re talking to each other, dogs shit is not a threat and you should be ashamed for letting a disagreement be a reason to call eachother assholes and stuff. and it’s surprising to see people say they HATE someone just because they dont clean up after their dog. Instead of being so hateful you should all work and find a way to fix it instead of retaliating towards one another to get other people to clean it up and causing problems over what? oh yeah…dog shit. I’m certain most of you are adults and I can’t believe what I’m reading as a minor….dog shit isn’t that big of a problem, its easy to clean up, however it should not become a problem if it isn’t in your way.

  46. Fuck you guys. This is why people poison dogs. Just like the case in Burnaby a few years back. I’m a dog lover. This is not the dogs fault. I live in a goergeus area where there is lots of great dogs here with owners that should pick up thier pets shit but don’t. If I catch you leaving your pets mess laying there….. So my kids and dogs step in it I’ll make you eat it. Watch me.

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