GUYS! I must confess I’m purrrrr-ty disappointed in the creators of Mad Men right now. Not that I dislike the show… in fact, the boner alert in my pants reached orange (the most boner-ific color) after learning the season premiere of Mad Men debuts this week (AMC, Sun July 25, 10 pm).
So why am I so disappointed in Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner? Because for reasons too mind-boggling to comprehend, Weiner has REJECTED my script for a season- four episode! I KNOW, RIGHT?
Lucky for the world, I have a TV column where I can reprint a small taste of my brilliant script.
Daytime. Interior: a mid-’60s Manhattan office building. Don Draper enters, reading a newspaper.
Don: [Reading aloud.] “Beatles to Play Shea Stadium”? BULL-PLOP! I predict these Beatles will eventually be known as the most overrated musical group of all time!
A knock on the door; it is totally hot secretary Joan.
Joan: May I come in?
Don: You may come in… my pants! HA! I am truly rakish and handsome. LET’S MAKE LOVE.
Joan: I can’t resist your charms. Yes, let’s bone.
Suddenly, a twinkly beam of light appears from the ceiling. It is Captain Kirk from Star Trek.
Captain Kirk: Not if I bone you first, Joan!
Don: WHAT?? This is bull-plop. You can’t be here, you’re on Star Trek.
Captain Kirk: It’s called a “crossover,” dick lip. Ever heard of it?
Don: But… but… your show doesn’t even debut until 1966!
Captain Kirk: It’s called “time travel,” shit bird. Ever heard of it?
Don: Whatever! I’m Don Mother-effing Draper! I get to bone Joan first!
Don and Captain Kirk engage in a shirtless battle to the death. Kirk eventually triumphs, decapitating Don. Kirk then beams Joan up to the Enterprise, where they bone multiple times… occasionally including Spock.
THE END.
(Matthew Weiner? I patiently await your apology.) 
Wow…there’s really not much happening on TV in the summer, is there?
Humpola you need a vacation.
@1:you’re kidding? The Pandorica just opened last week! The whole Universe is at stake!
Gotta agree with 3. The Pandorica has opened. That’s pretty big in the land of t.v. Though I don’t think I’ve every seen ol’ Humpy interested in Dr. Who.
Does the Stranger actually pay this guy? If so, I will gladly produce better t.v. columns than this for less.
… And I don’t even have fucking cable.
German? Government Reform? Is Humpy running a covert CIA message board?
@8: the spammers are getting sly.