MONDAY, JANUARY 19 This week of closed chapters, new beginnings, and
another goddamn death by monster truck kicks off with the national
holiday devoted to Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., the
visionary civil-rights leader who, among many other things, gave
America its finest example of engaged, empathetic, hopeful anger, and
who continues to inspire citizens four decades after his tragic death
by assassination. To commemorate the man and his day, BBC News dusted
off some 1964 footage of Dr. King predicting an African-American
president in less than 25 years—a fittingly double-edged
acknowledgement of tomorrow’s history-making inauguration of
President Barack Obama, who today paid tribute to his historical
forebear by issuing a typically eloquent, quietly challenging
statement: “As we go forward in the work of renewing the promise of
this nation, let’s remember King’s lesson—that our separate
dreams are really one.”
TUESDAY, JANUARY 20 Nothing happened today, unless you count the
history-making inauguration of President Obama, a thoroughly
gratifying event that involved a reported two million
eyewitnesses and zero assassination attempts. And while the
day provided its share of schadenfreude porn—from a visibly
squirmy Dubya to a wheelchair-bound Dick Cheney—the overall theme
of the day was far more complex and inclusive. Best illustration of
this complex inclusiveness: the presence of Rick Warren, the
evangelical Christian pastor whose inclusion in the inauguration struck
many as a slap in the face to gay Americans and those who love them
(Warren has a longstanding problem of oppressing and bad-mouthing the
gays). Despite the lefty outcry, Obama’s invitation to Warren was
honored, and hurrah: Millions of evangelical Americans got confirmation
there would be a place for them in Obama’s brave new world, and
millions of nonevangelical Americans got confirmation that Warren is as
compelling and charismatic as a mid-tier used-car salesman. But
seriously: To paraphrase the editorial cartoonist Dan Wasserman,
bless this presidency for its tolerance of Rick Warren’s
intolerance. Last Days does not want four or eight years of
retaliatory governing from the Democrats; we want a president who’s
going to try to find a way to make this country work for everyone, even
bigoted shitheads, who might eventually learn a thing or two from being
included instead of just vilified. Someone’s got to take the high road,
and since it’s never going to be Republicans and fundamentalists, it’s
up to Democrats and progressives. (If ever there was a day for
potentially ridiculous hopefulness, this is it.)
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21 Nothing happened today, unless you count Last
Days’ perverse insistence on cutting the past two days’ unprecedented
hopefulness with a dose of infuriating far-right garbage,
procured from the “conservative” kookfest Free
republic.com, where both writers and
commenters were inspired to new heights of racist hilarity by the
inauguration of the nation’s first nonwhite president. Never mind that
exposing oneself to such garbage is the intellectual equivalent of
sniffing rotten milk (you know it’s going to be horrible, but that’s
why you do it): Last Days was perversely pleased to learn that the crap
on Freerepublic.com was
exactly what we feared and worse. One example: The thread
devoted to the lifelong suckiness of Aretha Franklin, who was
torn apart not only for her generally okay performance at the
inauguration, but for her entire career, which was portrayed as
a four-decades-and-counting sham kept afloat only by a
never-
ending supply of white guilt. Another commenter
blasted Franklin’s flourish-ridden approach to the “My Country, Tis of
Thee” melody, inspiring another commenter to note that black singers
insist on doing such vocal runs out of an inbred inability to follow
rules. As steam whistled out of our ears, Last Days ruminated on
why we’re driven to expose ourselves to such shit. Are we so
conditioned by eight years of Bush that we demand a certain amount of
indignation just to feel normal? Is this a question for Mistress
Matisse? Eventually we were rescued from our indignation overdose by
our fella Jake, who wisely pointed out that anyone willing to stand by
the thesis “black people ruined music” is too stupid to waste anger
on.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 22 Meanwhile in New York, a bunch of
appellate-court judges were actively devoting themselves to making the
world a better and fairer place, ruling that same-sex
marriages entered into outside of New York must be recognized by
the state. As the Associated Press reports, today’s case was
instigated by a coalition of New York State taxpayers who sued the
state Department of Civil Service for extending health-insurance
benefits to same-sex spouses of state employees. In a most satisfying
blow, today the appellate court affirmed that the state was following
the law in doing so. Vive l’égalité!
FRIDAY, JANUARY 23 Speaking of progress: Today, President
Obama reversed Bush-era restrictions on government funding for
groups providing abortion counseling or services overseas,
thrilling supporters of abortion rights (“The repeal of the global gag
rule means that health clinics in developing countries will again be
able to offer the world’s poorest women access to much needed
reproductive-health services, from birth control to prenatal care,”
cheered NARAL) and striking fear in the hearts of the “abortion is
America’s Holocaust” crowd (“Today marks the beginning of the Obama
assault on life,” proclaimed Susan Armacost of Wisconsin Right to Life;
“Barack Obama will be the most pro-abortion president in the history of
our nation”). Whee!
SATURDAY, JANUARY 24 The week continues with the second monster
truck–related fatality in two weeks. As readers will
remember, it was just last Friday when 6-year-old Sebastian Hizey of
Puyallup was fatally struck by a hunk of metal that flew off a monster
truck doing doughnuts at the
Tacoma Dome. Addressing that tragedy
before today’s monster-truck rally in Madison, Wisconsin,
promoter George Eisenhart Jr. defended his group’s safety
record, telling Associated Press reporters, “This is our 16th year, and
I wish I had a big piece of wood to knock on right now, but we have not
had an incident besides a gal slipping in the aisle at another
location.” Tragically, at today’s rally, Eisenhart was fatally
crushed by a monster truck. As the AP reports, “Video footage from
the Saturday-night event clearly shows the promoter being hit by one of
the show’s giant trucks as he stepped back out onto the floor from an
entryway.” Condolences to Eisenhart’s friends and family, and
congratulations, irony.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 25 The week ends with a couple hundred
concerned citizens braving sudden freezing temperatures to protest the
proposed closing of several Seattle schools catering to the nonwhite
and nonmoneyed. “School board, just face it—these
closures are racist,” chanted the crowd before embarking on a march
from T.T. Minor Elementary School to the Garfield Community Center. As
Joseph E. Lowery made so vibrantly clear at Tuesday’s inauguration,
just because it kinda rhymes doesn’t mean it’s not completely
true. 
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No one deserves to be congratulated for tolerance of Rick Warren. How much should we be expected to tolerate? I mean, if by tolerance you mean, let him speak his mind, sure, that’s not saying much for tolerance. If by tolerance you mean, let him stand up as a representative for the Government’s Official Position on Religion, then no, that kind of tolerance should not be tolerated.
But we did. Hoop-dee-doo for such fucking pussy-ass sucking of Lucifer’s Hoary Dick.
Your boy is in the White House. The race card is out of play. Can’t have it both ways.
Just because blacks and leftists come up with some convoluted justification doesn’t necessarily make it true.
Sissy fingers (above)? Your playing w/ your sausage’s made you blind. And, while you seize on an opportunity to straddle the fence w/ your term of familiarity, don’t let the pike poke you in the ass.
when one persons rights are taken away we are all at risk.personal beliefs should never be more important than simple human rights.believe whatever you want and allow me to do the same.
All I’m saying is that a black man was elected to office primarily because he is a black man. This is the what the center/left percieves to be racial equality. You can’t cry racism anymore. Even if the Republicans had fielded something better than the McCain/Palin train wreck, even if they had fielded quality candidates and put on a well run election, they still would have lost to Obama/Biden because minorities in Amerca have achieved the dream of striking abject terror in the hearts of whites to oppose people of color in any way. The label ‘racist’ is the new socio-political equivilant of the Scarlet A. And spare me the hillbilly/KKK/redneck anteqdotes. I’m talking about the middle class and above.
To quote Kang, “ABORTIONS FOR ALL!!”
Hooray!
Monster truck fatalities: Mexican band Plastina Mosh predicted this years ago-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAa6zfUqLL8
I hardley think that electing one black president after electing 43 white ones means the end of racism in America.
“All I’m saying is that a black man was elected to office primarily because he is a black man.”
Ha ha ha… Of course it had nothing to do w/ the fact that the GOP are intellectually bankrupt, that none of their ideas worked when they had all three branches of government in their control, that whenever they accuse others of something its to cover up their own complicity on that very subject, or that they have become the party of radical ideologues whose only value is party loyalty and that America wanted a level-headed and practical President who can communicate beyond the 6th-Grade level.
No, it couldn’t be THAT. It’s gotta be the racist thing… Can’t think of anything else it could be… Can’t think much at all, actually..
My favorite comment? The end of Friday:
“Whee!”
Love it.
I love it. Not one prominent black Republican got where he/she is on merit. They all, especially Clarence Thomas, got where they are through the most blatant de facto affirmative action on the part of the Republicans. A very qualified and intelligent black politician convinces millions of Americans to vote for him fair and square and conservatives accuse us of racial favoritism.
Fuck off, SausageFingers. Your lies will get you nowhere.
Say it ain’t so!
For years, I could reliably count on Last Days to be a source of sanity in an otherwise fun, but ridiculously knee-jerk, reactionary, leftist, PC rag.
But you had to go and end the week with a “these school closures are racist” shout out, didn’t you?
Ugh.
I guess even a bastion of quality commentary can’t be right all the time, but calling out Maria Goodloe-Johnson as a racist brings you down to Jonah Spangenthal-Lee territory.
keshmeshi…
This is not a Republican/Democratic issue. It’s a race issue.
Had the Republicans put a black man with a pulse against a white Democratic candadate, the race would have gone to the Republicans. White guilt has been that ingrained in American culture.
Your response is a real demonstration of the true colors of those of your ilk.