Last Days

MONDAY, JULY 27 The week kicks off with a long-awaited update
on the Northwest’s most resourceful bank robber, who first made
headlines back in September 2008 when he carried out an exceptionally
well-planned robbery of a Bank of America branch in Monroe, Washington.
As history buffs will recall, the so-called “Craigslist robber” set his
diabolical plan in motion by placing a Craigslist ad encouraging
out-of-work landscapers to show up outside the bank on September 30 in
work clothes—specifically, blue shirts and work boots. When the
day came, the robber also showed up in the requisite work clothes, then
pepper-sprayed a Brinks armored-car guard, grabbed a bag containing
$400,000, and disappeared into the small crowd of men dressed
identically to him, ultimately making his getaway on an inner
tube he’d stashed by the nearby Skykomish River. In January, police
apprehended and charged a suspect—28-year-old Anthony
Curcio of Lake Stevens—and today, the guilty-as-charged
Curcio was sentenced to six years in federal prison. What foiled
the would-be mastermind: DNA, recovered from a container into
which Curcio had spit chewing tobacco, matching DNA recovered from the
bank robber’s discarded particle mask.

•• Speaking of semi-inspired escapes: Tonight brought
Seattle’s first death by light rail. Just before midnight, a man
threw himself in front of a Sound Transit train near South Holgate
Street. Tomorrow, the victim will be identified as 40-year-old James
Bohrer, and his death will be ruled a suicide.

•• In much better news: Today at the 2009 International
Swimming Federation World Championships in Rome, Auburn swimmer
Ariana Kukors followed her history-making performance of
yesterday—when she set a new world record in the 200-meter
individual medley—by setting a new new world record,
smashing yesterday’s 2:07.03 with today’s 2:06.15.

TUESDAY, JULY 28 Speaking of regional athletes kicking the
world’s ass: The week continues in Copenhagen, where athletes
from all over have gathered for World Outgames 2009, the
international LGBT sporting event. Today, Seattle’s Dean Koga was preparing to compete in the 4×200-meter relay—until some
psycho hucked three small bombs onto the track. As KOMO reports,
the wounded Koga was rushed to the hospital (where he underwent four
hours of surgery to remove shrapnel from his hand) while Copenhagen
police tracked down the bombing suspect—a 31-year-old Danish man
authorities say they may charge with a hate crime. Tomorrow, a rapidly
recuperating Koga will return to the Outgames track with a bandaged
hand and will win a gold medal in the men’s 200 meters. Coming
out of an alleged hate crime with a gold medal? You rule, Dean
Koga.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 29 Today brings acknowledgment of the week’s
most oppressive local news story: the history-making heat wave,
which smashed records, inspired endless whining and sweating, and
contributed to the deaths of two citizens. But Heat Wave ’09 was more
than just sweaty death, as the small army of naked people crowding
Madison Park Beach in the wee hours of this morning made clear.
Take it away, Hot Tipper Sarah: “I biked down to Madison Beach
just before 2:00 a.m., and it was packed with early twentysomethings
and rampant nakedness.” What kind of nakedness? “Mostly gay male, but
naked ladies were also present.” Was it all hippie-fun nakedness or
were some people trying to be sexy about it? “No naked sexiness, from
what I could see, just splashing around and swimming out to the high
dive and lots of Natural Ice.” A half hour later came the requisite
police crackdown, which played out as gracefully as could be: “The
police showed up with flashlights, sending everyone scrambling for
their clothes. But the cops were laid-back about it all: ‘C’mon guys,
gotta go, noise complaint…'” Hurrah for summer (even when it arrives
via 96-hour sledgehammer).

THURSDAY, JULY 30 The week continues with the long-awaited
breaking of Heat Wave ’09, as several days of roasting gave way
to a relatively cool and breezy evening. In a lucky turn of events,
Last Days experienced this breaking of the heat in a most perfect
setting: the Seattle Art Museum’s Olympic Sculpture Park, where
we’d journeyed for an informal late-evening walking tour and were met
by two lightly ravishing delights. The first: the mercifully cool
breezes coming in off Puget Sound, which unraveled the knot of
whininess that had been throbbing at the base of our skull since
Monday. The second: Richard Serra’s Wake, the
stunning collection of curved-steel monoliths granted an intoxicating
humanity by the record-breaking heat the steel had absorbed over the
past many days and was now releasing in tangible waves. Thank you, God
and SAM.

FRIDAY, JULY 31 Today we travel to the great state of
Kentucky, where early this morning, a family in the town of
Kevil awoke to the blare of their home alarm system. As
KFVS reports, the homeowner went outside to investigate but was soon
called back by his wife’s screams about the male intruder attempting to
enter the home through the attached garage. As the homeowner told
police, he repeatedly yelled at the intruder, informing him that he had
a gun and ordering him off the property. Nevertheless, the intruder
continued to advance until the homeowner shot him in the chest.
Police arrived to arrest the shot intruder—18-year-old Andrew
Barnett—and rush him to a hospital, where he ultimately died.
“The McCracken County Sheriff Department reports the 18-year-old was
under the influence of psilocybin mushrooms, or ‘magic
mushrooms’ as they’re called on the street, and thought he was inside
his own home,” reports KFVS. “At one point, he even called the
home-owner ‘Dad.’ Charges against the homeowner are not expected.”

SATURDAY, AUGUST 1 The week continues with a bunch of
post–heat wave delights, including Seafair, the UmojaFest
parade in the Central District, and the marriage of Tara Hayes and Paul
Constant in West Seattle.

•• Also: Today in Rome, Michael Phelps showed the
world what a casual pot smoker can do, becoming the first swimmer to
break
50 seconds in the 100-meter butterfly and setting a world
record with a time of 49.82.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 2 Nothing happened today (unless you count
more Seafair and stuff).

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