MONDAY, NOVEMBER 10 This week of acid-based awfulness, arrested
racists, and glorious shows of civic solidarity kicks off with a
question that’s been rolling around countless citizens’ skulls since
the economy went kaboom: What does a 21st-century recession look
like? Today brought something close to an answer, thanks to a
collection of news reports that cumulatively paint a portrait of the
New American Recession as a Spam-scented landscape filled with
“dollar menunaires” drinking drip coffee. Details come from the
Associated Press, which offers two telling facts. (1) Today,
Starbucks announced that its fourth-quarter profits were down
97 percent, thanks to an 8 percent drop in sales, with
fewer customers coming into stores and spending less when they did. (2)
Today, McDonald’s announced an 8.2 percent rise in sales,
with fourth-quarter profits beating the company’s own predictions,
thanks to the restaurants’ low-priced food items and popular Dollar
Menu. While Starbucks’s plummet suggests boutique coffee drinks are now
luxury items, the rise of McDonald’s suggests the company is benefiting
from “trading down,” the phenomenon in which diners who typically
frequent more expensive sit-down restaurants are driven by monetary
concerns to fast food. The widespread practice of trading down will be
confirmed on Friday by the New York Times, which will report on
the abrupt and stunning boom times that have befallen the
manufacturers of Spam, the gelatinous, vacuum-sealed
conglomeration of pork products that’s kept American bellies filled for
cheap since the Great Depression. As the NYT reports, a 12-ounce
can of Spam costs roughly $2.40, and Minnesota’s Hormel Foods
Corporation has been working overtime to keep up with the crushing
demand. “Two shifts of workers have been making Spam seven days a week
since July, and they have been told that the relentless work schedule
will continue indefinitely.” (Other thrifty foodstuffs enjoying
recession-fueled booms: rice and beans, instant potatoes, Jell-O,
Kool-Aid, and Velveeta.) But nothing can top the budget-crunched
public’s sudden hunger for Spam. As Hormel factory worker Dan Johnson
told the NYT: “People are realizing it’s not that bad a
product.”
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 11 The week continues in Louisiana, where today
police announced the arrest of eight Ku Klux Klan members following the murder of Cynthia Lynch, the 43-year-old Oklahoma
woman who went to Louisiana to attend a Klan initiation ceremony before being found shot to death yesterday morning. Details on
the Klan bash gone wrong come from CNN, which reports Lynch traveled
from her home in Tulsa to Louisiana’s St. Tammany Parish to participate
in the aforementioned Klan initiation ceremony, conducted by a Klan
group calling itself the Sons of Dixie. After shaving Lynch’s head,
eight members of the group took her to a campsite in the woods near
Sun, Louisiana, about 60 miles north of New Orleans, where the
initiation rites continued. (Running with torches was involved.)
According to police reports, at some point on Sunday, Cynthia Lynch
decided she wanted to leave, and her request for a ride to a nearby
town sparked an argument that allegedly ended with the group’s
44-year-old leader, Chuck Foster, shooting Lynch to death without
warning. (After Foster allegedly shot Lynch, the Agence France-Presse
reports, he allegedly tried to dig the bullet out of her body then told
his seven followers to dump her in the roadside brush where she was
found.) As sheriff’s investigators told CNN, the initial tip about the
killing came from a convenience store clerk, whom two of the Klan
group’s members had asked for advice on getting bloodstains out of
clothes. The arrest of these two geniuses was quickly followed by
the arrests of the six others, all of whom surrendered without
incident. Foster remains jailed on charges of second-degree murder,
while the seven other suspects have been charged with obstruction of
justice.
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 12 Speaking of idiotically violent bigots: The
week continues, horrifyingly, in Afghanistan, where this morning
a group of girls walking to school in the southern city of
Kandahar were assaulted by two men on a motorcycle who used water
pistols to spray acid in their faces. As CNN reports, the
incident occurred around 8:00 a.m. near Mirwais Nika Girls High School
and injured four girls—two of whom were treated and released, and
two of whom were blinded and remain hospitalized. As for
the attackers: They escaped and no one’s claimed responsibility, but as
Al-Jazeera reports, “Taliban militants were suspected to be
responsible.” Under the Taliban, which ruled the country from 1996 to
2001, females were forbidden from attending school; the Kandahar
government has denounced the attackers as “enemies of education.”
Condolences to all.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13 In lighter news, today we turn to the story of
Anthony Michaels, the San Diego man whose journey to internet
celebrity commenced last Christmas Eve, when he received an e-mail from
the social-networking site Classmates.com informing him that his
former school friends were trying to contact him. But after paying $15
to upgrade to the premium membership that would grant him access to his
curious old classmates, Michaels quickly learned that no one he knew
was trying to contact him at all. And so he sued, filing a
punitive class action suit in California state court on October 30. As
Wired News reports, “[The suit] says there are hundreds of thousands
of Anthony Michaels around the country who were similarly duped.
The lawsuit asks the court to force the company to refund millions in
subscription dollars and fine the company for deceptive advertising….
If the lawsuit succeeds… it could raise the minimum standards of
honesty for online businesses.” Best of luck to Anthony Michaels, who
is clearly the Rosa Parks (or at least the Tawana Brawley) of the
anti-Classmates.com movement.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 14 Meanwhile in Southern California: Today brought
day number two of raging wildfires, which broke out yesterday in four
counties (Los Angeles, Riverside, Orange, and Santa Barbara) and will
destroy more than 800 houses, mobile homes, and apartments; force the
evacuation of thousands of residents; and kill at least two people by
next week.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15 The week continues with the National Day of
Protest Against Proposition 8, a truly heartening display of civic
solidarity that’s dealt with in full starting on page 16. Humongous
thanks to Amy Balliett, Kyler Powell, and everyone else who helped make
the amazing day happen (especially you, naked lady).
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16 The week ends with the continuation of the
California wildfires mentioned back on Friday, with this morning
bringing the mandatory evacuation of another 1,400 residents. 
Sad but true: If Prop 8 had failed, fundies would be crediting the
California wildfires to a rightfully vengeful God. Sigh. Send Hot Tips
to lastdays@thestranger.com.
why is there a picture of a boy wearing the religious costume worn in the south of spain during saint week? (there its called nazareno) the picture is not of a klan member its of an adolescent boy probably ın sevilla participating in a harmless religous ceremony İ swear google semana santa nazareno.
So wild fires rage in Calif. huh?
Well I guess GOD is just p-o’ed about all that Prop. 8 stuff and how the vote turned out. Just wait…there will be more mayhem in Calif. later this month, prediction #1 – earthquake Mag. 7.4 hits central Calif next Thursday in the late morning (local time in Calif.), prediction #2 some fundies in a state other than Calif. will organise and fund an accross the U.S. of A. rally to commemorate the outcome of Prop. 8, with several large well known Religous type groups in tow for media purposes.
I truly do not mean to be insensitive but I admit I am ignorant of the subject… that said, why isn’t the argument about gay and lesbian “marriage” posed as asserting rights to a legally equal “civil union?” (Or have I missed something?) It seems this might grant the rights and responsibilities desired, while taking the wind out of the sails of the opposition who would remain owners of the term “marriage.”
Once again, I am seeking enlightenment, without intending insult or offense.
jukk0u: Civil unions fail to assure about 900-1000 rights that automatically come along with “regular” marriage.
And civil unions are failing in practice, too: in New Jersey, where civil unions are available, something like 2/3 of civilly-unioned partners who have asked for partners’ employment benefits have been denied by their insurance agencies. The reason? They don’t have a “real” marriage.
So yeah, there’s no substitute for the real thing. And separate is NOT equal. I hope you choose to vote, and fight, for us.
Am I the only one who wonders what the government is doing in marriage anyway? “Marriage” should be a social/religious arrangement, not a civil one. Let everyone have equal access to “civil unions,” and leave marriage up to individuals.
Hmm. . . that ‘anti-classmates.com’ link – is that really, truly meant to allegedly send one to a site of some kind? I only ask, or axe, because there doesn’t seem to be any such website to arrive at when the link is clicked upon.
are you seriously comparing someone trying to re-coup $15 from a web-site to ROSA PARKS? wow i’v never doubted you before last days, but holy shit shame on you!
suckit – fer cris’sake, buy yourself a sense of humor!