Recently, I celebrated my
first year of marriage to the most amazing man. When we first began
dating, he told me that he enjoys open sexuality and wants swinging to
be part of any partnership he’s in. I regard myself as free-spirited
and agreed to explore this with him. We delayed experimentation because
I had a stressful job and I wanted to spend my limited free time with
him instead of exploring our sexuality with multiple partners. My work
situation changed, and we have since had about a dozen experiences in
the past year. I have discovered that these situations are not a
turn-on for me—in fact, they are a turnoff. I feel resentful
after these episodes, and I don’t feel like having sex for days. We
have discussed this at length, and we have been seeing a counselor.
Recently, we had a civil discussion wherein we discussed the
possibility of him having these sexual experiences without me, since I
do not find them compelling. This idea appealed to him. He proposed
going to a sex party alone that very night.

Ever since then, I have been crushed by the
prospect of my husband having a sex life outside of our relationship.
Since we met, his sexuality has had an outward trajectory, rather than
being relationship centered. Having a healthy sexual relationship with
him is enough for me. He makes a good point that he has been straight
about his desire for this lifestyle since day one, but I am still
frustrated and horrified that my husband needs to have sex outside of
our marriage. I can’t help but feel hurt that I alone am not enough for
him.

I’d appreciate your straight, honest
feedback on this.

Sex Best One On One

Straight, honest feedback: You are an
idiot. Your husband informed you in advance about the
“outward trajectory” of his sexuality; you knew going in that
your husband could never be satisfied in a marriage that didn’t involve
“open sexuality” and swinging. Don’t come crying to me now because the
man you married wants to actually have sex with other people. You knew
that before you married him, SBOOO, because he fucking told you
so.

You’re unlikely to encounter a marriage
counselor who’ll take your husband’s side (nonmonogamy? boo!) over
yours (monogamy? yay!), SBOOO, so I’m going to aggressively come to his
defense: You’re never going to convince your husband that one-on-one
ought to be enough for him. Sorry. You’re also going to have a hard
time convincing him that you didn’t deceive him in the run-up to this
marriage. When he told you that monogamy was a deal breaker, SBOOO, you
replied that you were “free-spirited” and willing to “explore.” But,
alas, circumstances beyond your control prevented you from embarking on
any explorations until after the wedding, and only then—only
after he married you—did you discover that your husband’s
sexual interests both frustrated and horrified.

How convenient.

Because if you’d been a little less stressed
at work, SBOOO, maybe you could’ve made time for a little swinging
before the wedding. Then you might’ve learned that nonmonogamy wasn’t
for you and been able to give this amazing man that information
before he married your ass. Oh, but your work schedule didn’t
allow for premarital explorations, and now this amazing man has to
decide whether to go through the hell of a divorce—knowing full
well that he will be seen as the bad guy by all your relatives and
friends, and 99.99 percent of marriage counselors—or give in to
your emotional, sexual, and financial blackmail.

Want more evidence that you weren’t
negotiating with your husband in good faith before the wedding, SBOOO?
How about this: You aren’t negotiating with him in good faith
now. So you recently had “a civil discussion” with him about the
possibility of his going to sex parties alone—how many uncivil
discussions have you had?—but then you were crushed when
he wanted to take you up on this proposed compromise. So once again he
wants to fuck around, once again you agree to his fucking around in
principle, once again he proposes fucking around in earnest, and once
again you lose your shit—only this time you go boohooing to an
advice columnist and not a marriage counselor.

Sorry, SBOOO, you picked the wrong
columnist. You want and always wanted a monogamous commitment. Free
spirit, my ass. You are—surprise!—sexually incompatible.
Divorce. Get it over with.

I’m a male with submissive tendencies, and my wife decides when I get to orgasm. We have sex
regularly, but she only lets me ejaculate occasionally. She finds that
I’m more attentive to her now that we’re doing “orgasm denial,” and I
get to scratch my submissive itch. Ain’t life grand?

Here’s my question: I enjoy pushing the
limits, and I’ve gone as long as six weeks without release. (We use a
CB-6000 chastity cage on my cock so I won’t succumb in a moment of
weakness.) But I’m a little concerned about the effects on my prostate.
After several weeks of denial, I leak pre-come when aroused. I’ve read
that recent studies showed that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk
of prostate cancer. Am I putting myself at greater risk by ejaculating
so infrequently? Can you ask your medical expert?

Loving Orgasms And Denial Every Day

Two orgasm-denial questions in two
weeks—it’s officially a trend! Can a Good Morning America segment be far behind?

“We still have very little idea what might
cause or prevent prostate cancer,” says Dr. Barak Gaster, associate
professor of medicine at the University of Washington and our resident
medical expert. “There are some clues—red meat, probably bad;
vegetables, probably good; vitamin E, probably not helpful—but
we’re really still in the dark.” And while most studies have shown
frequent ejaculation to be good for prostate health, one recent study
out of the UK showed the exact opposite.

So what should you do? Rely on the
best-available study, advises Gaster. “[That study] followed U.S. men
for eight years and found that those with the most ejaculations per
month (more than 20) had a 30 percent lower risk of prostate cancer
compared to those who were having fewer per month (about five).” But
there is good news in the study for you, LOADED: “The 5 percent of men
who reported having zero to three per month appeared to have a lower
risk for prostate cancer as well,” said Gaster. “The caveat is that
this group was too small to make definite conclusions about them. But
it looks like coming more than 20 times a month could be good for you
in terms of prostate cancer, but it’s unlikely that coming very little,
like zero to three times per month, is necessarily bad for you compared
to coming once or twice a week.”

So ejaculate frequently, guys, or ejaculate
rarely, because it would appear that moderation in pursuit of prostate
health is no virtue.

mail@savagelove.net

205 replies on “Savage Love”

  1. Wow, Dan, you really came on hard with SBOOO… but I have to agree. It doesn’t sound like she was all that honest with him up front.

    As far as the restriction of male orgasms, where do I sign up, and how to I turn my wife onto this practice?

  2. Wow – my first thought was sympathy for SBOOO.

    Thinking I’m like her.

    Except I’m not. I’ve always thought a committed relationship should be monogamous. And I’ve always been truthful about it.

    I find your advice very sound. (Unfortunately…)

  3. good on ya dan – SBOOO needed that!
    it looks like she’s been asking all round town for the answer you gave her. now she’s got it, i bet she’ll screw it up even more as we’ve seen that in the past, once she’s got the hard answers to the silly questions she aska, she doesn’t listen and continues down the same tragic path. good luck to her in finding a husband who hasn’t got outside desires.

  4. hahahah dan i died laughing at your advice for sboo. so true though, probably wanted to get married more than anything and just thought that marriage would ‘magically’ make her husband not want to have sex with other people anymore. what a lame-o.

  6. Man, I agree with your “on your own head be it” sentiment for SBOOO, but you’re terribly harsh, no? Lots of people don’t know themselves as well as they should sexually, and lots of people are freaked by nonmonogamy. It sucks to be this couple, but it’s not an unheard of insecurity. And I think you should have called the husband on one point: having a conversation about having sex with other people himself and then proposing to go out that night isn’t particularly gentle and understanding, no matter how ill used he’s feeling.

  7. The advice to SBOOO was spot on! Too many monogamous women cruise for and pick up on swinging/poly men, feeding them that exact line of bullshit. And it’s all for that same hope for a future power rush that has always kept women flocking to the incompatible: the sad forlorn hope that they will be “important enough” to change for. It all comes down to that, doesn’t it?

    Can we finally start focusing on something other that our egos for a while? PLEASE?!?!

  8. I’ve not a shred of sympathy for Sbooo….her fiance was upfront and honest, and instead of a caring, supportive partner, he gets a lying sac of bull. I hope the poor guy doesn’t get taken to the cleaners by this dishonest woman.

  9. ya know maybe sbooo’s partner could take some responsibility here. How could he not notice? And even though she was delusional, people do change their minds. I did and had to break up over it. It wasn’t what i thought i wanted. But yep, he was Mr. good bar and she lied to herself to have him. bummer

  10. It seems odd that two people would go so far as to marry, one knowing full well that the other had a kink that was very important to him and was non-negotiable, without actually indulging the kink first and seeing how things went. Especially one as potentially threatening to a relationship as this one. I have to wonder, too, if she honestly had no expectation that she might possibly have a problem with it. You’d think you’d know yourself better than that before you decide to make as serious a commitment as marriage.

  11. LOADED should try prostate milking if he would like to ejaculate on a regular basis while still experiencing something like chastity. Tell him, Dan!

  12. Hey, swinging isn’t something you can harmlessly pretend being ok with when dating so you can get in someone’s pants and later-after getting committed, that is- confess you hated all along like going to football games, salsa dancing, vegan restaurants or whatever.

    It’s hard to have a drama-free relationship, polyamorous or monogamous, and this guy gets all the credit for being honest upfront.

    And yes, the marriage counseling does count as emotional blackmail, only potentially devastating because it’s not just you and him: you get the backup of science, law and society.

    That’s just very, very unfair.

  14. Hey, here’s a thought – maybe it isn’t “real” swinging unless you are married. Possibly she wanted to wait for the real deal before trying it?

    Not?

  16. Actually, this does bring up a more important larger question – how do you go to a marriage counselor in a situation where the main problem centers around something fetishistic or weird (unless you are a Savage reader, of course)?

    Dan makes a great point that even if you are right in the situation, you are likely to get smacked by convention. Also, I probably don’t really want to tell nice Dr. Schmaltzmann that I want black midgets coated in strawberry jam up my butt, as an example, let’s say.

  17. I commend SBOOO for at least TRYING to be GGG about her husband’s non-monogomous tendency. However, when she found that she can’t stand him “cheating,” she came to the wrong conclusion. Instead of saying “You should only sleep with me from now on because I don’t want you to cheat,” she should be saying “I’m terribly sorry that even though I thought I was open to the idea, *I* am not comfortable with it. Therefore, here is what *I* will do to solve the problem.”

  18. I think some people are being a little harsh on SBOOO – sometimes you think that something will work for you, and then you only find later that it won’t. I’m polyamorous, and it turns out I don’t like sex with multiple partners at the same time. This was a bit of a shock to learn.

    HOWEVER, I totally agree that if someone has a specific sexual requirement (although I don’t classify swinging as a fetish), it’s good to find out if you can cope with said requirement (whether or not you participate) BEFORE you sign legal documents!

    And he was an idiot as well, assuming that “willingness to try” = “absolutely fine with you having orgies forever”. Also, his way of going “Ok, you don’t want to? I’ll be off shagging 600 people this evening, then. Don’t wait up!” was less than classy. I don’t think he should pretend to something he’s not capable of, but at least making some efforts towards compromise (“OK, I’ll attend an orgy once a month, on this date”) would be somewhat better.

    So, yeah, between biting off more than you can chew, and hubby seemingly not being capable of postponing his fun for 5 minutes and proposing potential win-win solutions, unless you can do some *serious* negotiation quickly, time to call it quits.

  19. The first LW was 100% wrong to not try swinging before marriage, but I can’t come down on her like Dan does… Sometimes, even things I’ve done before and didn’t bother me change as the relationship grows or changes (swinging was fine before marriage cause there wasn’t such a huge commitment should one party take it too far… the risk of a break-up is not as daunting as the risk of a divorce.)

    I’m with Trix on the point though that the husband doesn’t seem that willing to compromise. Also, I got the impression that the LW isn’t pissed off so much by the “cheating,” but rather that his sexual life has an “outward trajectory.” She also adds that the sex isn’t “relationship centered.”

    Even you, Dan, say that in swinging, your primary partner should remain the focus. If he’s busy running off to screw multiple different people without her, maybe she isn’t getting her sexual needs met… and he doesn’t seem to care. There’s a difference between swinging and out and out sexual abandonment, right?

  20. Lol, fraud in the inducement. Imagine if you did something like this in a business context. You could go to jail or be fined, but somehow it’s acceptable in a relationship? I’m sure the marriage “counselors” would say so. Unbelievable.

    Well, as the letter indicated, she never did any swinging while they were engaged, only after the fact. That’s very suspicious. And quite frankly it’s not a matter of her trying to be GGG, he was *honest* about who he was from the beginning. And then she decided, well gee, I guess I’m not really into that. The husband has been deceived and hopefully he won’t be cleaned out in the divorce.

    And a final point, it seems as though this idea of “relationship” has been reified into some entity that he has to sacrifice (bad) his identity to while she, the martyr, (which I don’t value) is trying to hold on to something which shouldn’t exist in the first place. Having sex with other people in this context does not make him non-“relationship centered”. Hell, he got with her didn’t he?

    In any case, if SBOOO has even a modicum of integrity, she should do her husband a favor and divorce him.

    Now.

  22. Hey, Dan. Thanks for coming out in support of negotiated non-monogamy. Considering that you’re the only sex advice professional that anyone gives a flying fuck about, now that Dr. Ruth doesn’t make the talk-show circuit anymore, I hope that you’ll have a good influence on the average public opinion on this and other topics.

    Alternative positions on sexuality are, I hope, becoming normalized, especially among the below-40 crowd. I look forward to the day when everyone’s harmless kinks and preferences are as uncontroversial as their choices of breakfast cereal.

    Keep up the good work!

  23. I think the reality is that most people are not honest with themselves – as a culture kids are raised to think about what they want and not how they feel… SBOOO is a victim of this.. and yes, agreed… acceptance is the key to all her problems.

  25. I feel bad for SBOOO but you were spot on Dan. If anything though, I would have suggested that she continue with counseling, but to try and find a counselor who specifically works w/ poly/swinger couples. What she should be able to see at the end is that her husband loves her, and he wouldn’t have married her in the first place if he didn’t want to be with her. The reason she doesn’t like his activities is out of fear of abandonment, insecurities about herself, and a fear that her husband’s love for her is less because he is physical with others. If she got a good therapist, she might even get to a place where SHE can enjoy others sexually, while feeling safe in their relationship.
    Jealousy is a terrible green monster, and it can rear it’s head in even the best of open relationships. The best thing is to work out the root of the jealousy, so they can move on and grow in their love.

  26. Related to the infrequent ejaculation, Watch out. I have Prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate), and ejaculation a few times a week helps.

  27. Dan, you really missed the boat on this one, maybe because of anger at the competition? You were too hard on SBOOO and completely left the husband of the hook. He did not have sex outside the relationship pre-marriage, so he was at least implying that it is not as important for him as he know claims. Also, she did make a good faith effort to accommodate him. Why is her making an effort to make the relationship work “negotiating in bad faith” while his refusal to accommodate her is being honest. She obviously want’s to let him have sex outside the relationship, just not all the time and she also wants to be the primary, not a secondary partner. Why is that not legit? To me, it looks that he lied to himself and to her at least as much as she did, if not more. In the end, she should probably divorce him, but not because she lied, but because he’s not doing anything for THEIR relationship.

  28. Deceit of *any* type that changes after commitment is wrong. Admitting you don’t like vegan restaurants or salsa could potentially be just as bad as incompatible sexuality.

    There is absolutely no way SBOOO is being honest here. About the best spin that can be placed on it is that she was dishonest with herself, but not to him.

    Being adult involves being honest about who you are, and entering into marriage is a commitment that should be taken seriously. If you haven’t made 100% certain of something, try outside marriage until you’re sure..

  29. Dan, you’re being incredibly harsh and unfair to SBOOO. Yeah, you are. Sounds like she’s made a good faith attempt to be GGG, and it just hasn’t worked out for her. Her husband’s not willing to negotiate or compromise now they’re married – even though he was willing to wait until they got married before they went swinging. A husband who isn’t interested in satisfying his wife sexually so long as his own sexual needs are being met, is a classic DTMFA target.

    So, I think she should look for a divorce. DTMFA, SBOOO. San Davage is never going to be supportive about a wife who wants her husband to give her sexual satisfaction before he runs off to orgies of his own.

  31. Advice to SBOOO was spot on, including calling her out for not being fully honest. Nice to see someone tell it to her like it is.

  32. I’m with Trix, Marty and Frink. SBOOO gets to shoulder a lot of the blame here, but not all of it for all the reasons these posters outlined. Hubbie is rude and clueless. SBOOO had a change of heart (sometimes a kink isn’t as much fun as you thought it would be) but getting married before investigating something so important is foolish of both of them.

    However, I can’t argue with the conclusion: divorce. These two are clearly not capable of sexually satisfying each other, and both seem unwilling to show some thought for the consequences of their actions. Time to file papers before a child gets dragged into this and complicates matters farther.

  34. Gee, if everyone knew exactly who they were and were always going to be, and exactly what they wanted and would always want, AND were able to totally communicate that to their potential partner, who also knew exactly who they were and were always going to be, and exactly what they wanted and would always want, AND were able to totally communicate that to their potential partner I bet there wouldn’t be nasty breakups! But for most people that’s not the case. Hopefully they can cut their losses, keep their mouths shut and quietly divide up the assets. Neither one is going to sound good in court.

  36. Gee, Dan, you really blasted SBOOO with both guns. I infer that you’re trying to balance the advice she’s getting from a counselor, but you’re just making an educated guess about what the counselor said. You treat SBOOO as if she’d perpetrated a bait-and-switch, but that’s unfair. Her deal was that she would try swinging. If she’d done it once or twice, you’d have a point, but she claims to have done it a dozen times.

    You’ve made the husband out to be the victim, but that’s nonsense. He agreed to the “she’ll try it” deal. The issue is that they had no plan for what to do if she hated it. (You seem to presume that she knew she’d hate it, and basically call her a liar for claiming to be a free spirit, but there’s only sketchy evidence for that. The fact that she tried it several times shows more openness than most women would have. It’s possible that she was merely naive about what her limits would be.)

    As you point out, they needed to resolve this before marriage. Not her: they! They didn’t, so they are both to blame. Furthermore, before they were married was he faithful to her, cheating and lying, or openly fooling around? If it’s anything but the last of these, he’s to blame for allowing her to believe that he could be monogamous.

    Although your apportioning of the blame is biased, your advice was sound. He doesn’t just want multiple partners, he wants to swing, which means that even if she could give him carte blanche he wouldn’t be happy because he’d want her to participate. They need to accept the pain of divorce now before there are children’s lives to ruin.

  37. Hmmm…am a little torn. Yes, Mrs. SBOOO should have known better than to marry someone sexually incompatible. But, Mr. SBOOO probably should have known, too. I’m thinking that Mr. SBOOO must have at least suspected that his wife was just not that into it, even before they got married. I don’t actually see either one of them as the bad guy. They probably loved eachother, knew they weren’t sexually compatible, but got married anyway. People do it all the time. They get married anyway, even though they know there’s a major problem in some area (in this case sexually) of their relationship. Then, years later it finally surfaces and they have to admit they weren’t really right for eachother in the first place. Love is blind.

  38. @Storm, @Doktor: we’ve tried prostate milking, but we haven’t had much luck; my wife isn’t up for using her fingers (can’t say I blame her), and although I enjoy the sensations with a dildo, we’ve never managed to produce any significant amount of fluid, even when I’ve been denied for quite a while. I put this in the original letter but Dan cut it down for length.

    Is there a trick to prostate milking? Can it be done successfully without fingers? Seriously, pointers are appreciated.

  39. You are the BOMB and should tell SBOOOO again that she is the worse kind of woman. you don’t marry someone who tells you the truth then try to change them. He did the right thing. The perfect thing. and she spat in his face about it. I hope he makes it out from under that manipulative shrew so he can find a nice poly gal to live happily ever after with. Bully for you Dan you are the Mann!!!

  40. Dunno if it’s any help to SBOOO, but I found going to a poly friendly counselor to be a huge help in my own wrestling with open relationship difficulties (I knew it was what I wanted, but jealousy can still be tough). A useful resource for me was “Polychromatic”, which has state-by-state listings of various professionals, including therapists:
    http://www.polychromatic.com/pfp/

  41. In regards to SBOOO: Her husband was a bit of an idiot as well for marrying a woman who said that she was open to the idea of swinging but didn’t want to do any actual swinging until after they were married. The thought should have occurred to him that there was a definite possibility that once she tried it she might not actually like it. He should have been more persistent in her experimenting with swinging before they actually got married.

  42. I don’t necessarily agree with the advice give to sboo. Guess what….sometimes people’s minds change. Just because her mind changed it doesn’t make her a bad person. Yes, her husband made it blantantly clear that he needed to have sex outside the relationship before they were married so I understand that side of the argument. The point shouldn’t be to assualt this woman verbally because she is now uncomfortable with the idea of her husband fucking other people. Relationships change, particularly after marriage. I know Dan might think those of us who aren’t into open relationships are naive and somehow unevolved, but it is a natural human emotion to want to have your partner to yourself and the idea of them fucking someone else doesn’t feel good to most. I also think it is very possible to find a therapist who will agree with the husband in this situation. Just because Dan thinks that most therapists are monogamy-centric, it doesn’t mean they aren’t logical human beings who can’t understand that they had an agreement before they married.

  43. No, no sympathy here for SBOOO. She’s a total idiot and pulled the bait-and-switch on her husband. Let him go, SBOOO – he’ll never be happy with you and you’ll never be happy with him. I’m thinking the best thing that can come out of this for you is that he’ll satisfy his desires elsewhere and just not tell you about it – that will be a real possibility if you force him into agreeing to monogamy. But hopefully, he’ll get rid of you before it comes to that and put you out of your misery. I guess I do have some sympathy for you – I’ve screwed stuff up, too – but this is screw up is all on you, of fairly disasterous proportions. Super stupid to not explore poly-play BEFORE you marry a man who’s been up front with you about it – and then to whine about you not being enough for him? Kind of amazingly stupid, really.

  44. A little harsh on SBOOO Dan. I get people need tough love sometimes, but that seemed more like kicking a dolly when she’s down.

    Of course, if you were all moonbeams and unicorns and easy let downs we wouldn’t enjoy reading you so much, now would we?

  45. Dan’s right, SBOOO, you DID pick the wrong advice columnist. You picked one who used to be accepting of pretty much ALL sexual arrangements within a relationship, including monogamy, but is now a dogmatic, militantly pro-poly prick whose life has become a non-stop bitch-fest.

    SBOOO did NOT deceive her husband before the marriage. She said she was willing to explore the open marriage thing, she came to a point where she felt comfortable actually giving it a go (sadly, after they got married), she gave it a fair shot (a dozen times!), and found (unexpectedly, it sounds from the tone of her letter), that she didn’t like sharing.

    A funny little thing about any sort of alternative sexuality you’re thinking of trying: no matter how hot the IDEA of something may be IN YOUR HEAD, you don’t know if you’ll really like it or not until you ACTUALLY GO THERE. Dan, I’d think someone with your reputation as “Lord God of all Sexperts” would know this.

    Personally, I’d like to try watersports sometime, THINKING that that warm liquid splashing on me would be a major turn-on. But, if I ACTUALLY WENT THERE, it could very easily turn out that, say, the degradation aspect, or simply the smell of piss all over me would wind up being a major turn-off. Did I act in bad faith telling the guy I’d be willing to try it? Of course not, because, like SBOOO, I TRULY DID want to try it.

    SBOOO, ignore Dan’s advice. You DID act in good faith. It sounds like you guys discussed it like rational adults, and you gave it a fair shot. However, it was probably dumb to go ahead with getting married without knowing for sure if you’d be into swinging or not. But maybe there were huge family pressures pushing you two into getting married; it happens.

    And, sadly, Dan’s right on this as well: we’ve got irreconcilable incompatibility here. 🙁

  46. I have to weigh in on the SBOOO topic from a professional side. As a Sex Therapist who WOULD advocate non-monogamy when appropriate (and I would suggest that any couple seeking help with questions of non-monogamy see a SEX therapist, as a opposed to a MARRIAGE counselor– because sex therapists have people’s good sexual health in mind, and marriage counselors MAY have people’s long term marriages in mind) I would say that there are many factors to weigh in when considering dissolving a marriage. Dan, I know your column is about sex advice, and from a healthy sexuality perspective you came to the right conclusion, but when considering people’s WHOLE personalities, etc. it may be a much harder decision to make (I.E. imagine if SBOOO were pregnant?)…so unfortunately these topics in real life have complicated outcomes and I would suggest this couple seek the professional services of a AASECT-certified sex therapist, and not your everyday sex columnist or marriage counselor.

  49. Right on with SBOOO Dan.

    I’m in a non-monogamous relationship myself and I thought I was in her shoes for a bit. But I had ONE calm discussion with my boyfriend and he helped me get out and dating other guys. And surprise, once I tried it, I found I liked it.

    I now have three SPARE boys kicking around, none of them are quite as nice as my main boy, but they’re cute. The big thing is that I tried it BEFORE I decided that the idea ‘crushed’ me. I still have some trouble occasionally but I’ve found some ways to help me because I know that I don’t want monogamy right now either.

    Anyhow, like we’ve all said SBOOO was a nail that you’ve hit right on the head. And you’re just going to have to accept my praise, despite how much you hate it.

  50. Dan,

    While you are right to assert that Sbooo is accountable for her own actions, but your outrage seems inconsistent.

    You have received hundred of letters from people who have fallen out of love and/or cheated on their spouse.
    Many of the writers entered in marriage thinking they could “settle down” or that they had married their “soul mate.”

    While Sboo is at fault, she did try to swing with multiple partners and it wasn’t what she expected.

    How many us have found marriage something other than we hoped?

    Those of use, myself included, are equally at fault. We made irrational decisions based on love or lust and we too are accountable.

    I guess we are idiots, too, but you have never let us have it as you did with Sboo.

Comments are closed.