My husband and I have been married for one year, but we had been dating for 10 years prior to that. I thought we had a very understanding relationship. In the last couple of days, I have found out that he has a serious obsession with females wearing running shoes. He had in the past hinted at the fact that it turns him on, but I had no idea of the scope of this obsession. I’ve discovered that he spends a large number of hours a week devoted to this fetish. He was sloppy in covering his tracks one day, and I found evidence on his computer.
I should also mention that when he told me he thought running shoes are hot, I thought he meant on me, not on all living and breathing females.
I believed that he could trust me enough to be open with me, but he has been hiding this from me for 11 years! I am still in shock and not quite sure how to deal with it. He obviously feels ashamed, otherwise he would have told me years ago. Why did he not bring this up before we got married? I had a right to know what I was getting into. I don’t know if I can live with knowing that he gets a hard-on for every running-shoe-wearing woman who goes by. I feel betrayed and creeped out. He says that he didn’t want to hurt me, but he has done just that. I feel physically sick to my stomach knowing that I didn’t really know who he was all this time. We still have to work it out and really talk about our new situation. But I am beginning to think our marriage isn’t going to survive this. Am I being too sensitive? How can I fix my marriage?
Dumbfounded In Brooklyn
Does your husband like your tits only, DIB, or can he get a hard-on for every tits-wearing woman who goes by? Does he like your pussy only, DIB, or can he get a hard-on for every pussy-wearing woman who goes by?
If your marriage can survive the husband being attracted to tits and pussy generally, DIB, but attracted to your tits and pussy particularly, your marriage should be able to survive the awareness that your husband is into women in running shoes generally but into you in running shoes particularly.
Why did he keep it from you? Because he was ashamed, DIB, because guys with fetishes are told—hey there, Prudie—that they’re disturbed and unlovable, and because no one bothers to inform straight women that fetishes are to male sexuality what lies are to a Fox News broadcast: likelier to be present than not. So he dropped hints but didn’t tell you during year one—or year two or three, year four, etc.—because he was afraid you would have the reaction you’re having at year eleven.
So what do you do now? You forgive him, if you give a shit about your marriage, if you actually ever loved him, and you do a little reading about male sexuality. Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire is a good place to start.
And ladies? If your boyfriend or husband has “hinted at the fact that [something or other] turns him on,” you can safely assume that [something or other] really turns him on.
A good friend of mine is engaged to a woman with an extremely low sex drive. He’d like to have sex every day; she barely responds to his touch. I advised him to work up the nerve to suggest an “understanding” or to disengage. If he’s this frustrated as a 27-year-old fiancé, how is he going to feel after five years in a monogamous marriage?
Concerned Buddy
Either your buddy won’t be married in five years or he won’t be monogamously married. Either way, CB, you spoke up, and that’s all a friend is required to do under the circumstances. Now you have to stand back and let your buddy make the biggest mistake of his life.
I assume you’ve heard of Chatroulette by now. I discovered it about four weeks ago, and I am strangely turned on by all the dudes on there jerking off. I have started to show my tits to some of these dudes because it is such a massive turn-on for me (who knew I had this exhibitionist streak in me?). My husband doesn’t know about any of this. However, all sexual arousal is redirected his way in the form of really hot, passionate fucking!
I feel bad about not telling my husband. Do you think this is cheating? If you say it is, Dan, I will stop.
Clever Acronym
I don’t want to call what you’re doing cheating, as cheating is such an ugly word, but odds are good that your husband would call it that.
Even so, CA, I’m reluctant to tell you to stop. Spend a few weeks reading my e-mails, and you will come to regard anything that lights a fire under the marital bed as a universal good. So talk to your husband. Tell him that you “discovered” Chatroulette about four weeks ago. Then tell him you were surprised by (1) just how many dudes are jerking off in front of their computers at any given moment and (2) just how turned on you were by their exhibitionism. Confess that you’ve been a bit obsessed with the site, add that it’s why you’ve been so horny lately, and then invite him to join you for a session. If he seems into the idea, or gets into it once you’re online, sheepishly confess that you’ve been flashing a little skin yourself.
Then fuck the husband’s brains out.
CONFIDENTIAL TO SAVAGE LOVERS: I need to ask you to do something. Not for me, but for a teenage lesbian in a small town. Constance McMillen is a senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi. When she asked if she could attend prom with her girlfriend, she was told no. When Constance pressed her case, the Itawamba County School Board canceled prom rather than allow Constance to attend with her girlfriend. The school board had to know what would happen next: The other students blamed Constance for getting prom canceled and “ruining senior year.” Constance is now being harassed and bullied.
The school board claims it canceled prom to avoid “distractions.” Now it’s up to us—to decent people everywhere—to make sure that bigotry and discrimination are a much bigger distraction for the Itawamba County School District than inclusion and tolerance ever could’ve been.
E-mail, call, and fax Itawamba Schools superintendent Teresa McNeece (tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us, phone 662-862-2159 ext. 14, fax 662-862-4713) and Itawamba Agricultural principal Trae Wiygul (twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms.us, 662-862-3104). Then join the Facebook page “Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom.” And, finally, make donations to the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition (www.mssafeschools.org), which is organizing an alternate prom that will welcome all students, and make a larger donation to the ACLU LGBT Project (www.tinyurl.com/yl9mvkb).
Call, write, fax, donate. Constance needs to know that there are people all over the world who are on her side. And, more importantly, Itawamba County Schools needs to know that we’re not going to let them get away with this. Be respectful, but be relentless. Let’s show these bigots what a real distraction looks like. Get ’em.
“And ladies? If your boyfriend or husband has “hinted at the fact that [something or other] turns him on,” you can safely assume that [something or other] really turns him on.”
realizing this about a year ago was the best thing i’ve ever done for my sex life.
@1 seriously. It’s not really a fetish but my boyfriend hinted that he liked being bitten and I did it from time to time and I hinted I liked my nipples touched and he did it every now and again. Now we do this all the time before sex and it makes it so much hotter. Now we both know that these things were a bigger deal than either of us were letting on.
I don’t suppose naming the entire school board as a pack of reactionary bigots would count as respectful. I will have to recompose my email.
The DON’T Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom site has a whopping 79 members compare to the Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom page which has over 315,000
DAN.
Most kids would love the chance to stick it to their school administrations. Constance’s peers need to be enlisted in her support; I’m sure at least some of them would be happy to stage a sit-down in favor of reinstating prom and letting her go.
Play it up.
Hm, toughie. I think if a couple agrees to monogamy, it is good form to be discreet about any possible hots you might be having for other people, their boobs, pussies, running shoes, pecs, abs, dicks, asses and so on. I don’t think any monogamous woman likes to see her husband/boyfriend ogling other women in real life, so naturally she doesn’t want to see him ogling their photos on his computer either. But when she makes a fuss about it, then it shouldn’t be because of cheating – no cheating took place, but because of bad manners and maybe lack of respect for her. Monogamous men, how would you feel if your girlfriend/wife told you “I’d love to lick that guy over there head to toe and ride him like a mad cowgirl till dawn”? Well, that’s what your looks directed at other women tell us, and we don’t enjoy it.
In other words, we know that you have to look, but the farther you keep your looking from our eyes, the more care and respect you’re showing for us. (I know it was his computer, but if they were ok with using each other’s computer, as couples normally are, she had the right to expect him to do a better job of hiding his stash.)
I couldn’t disagree more, tiare @6. Maybe I’m just cranky tonight, but I’d just like to strangle DIB—I mean, hello honey!, your guy just handed you the golden ticket to happiness. Get over yourself. Figure out how to indulge this thing of his, a way for him to bring it all home to you, and he will be your adoring slave forever and ever.
(BTW, I’m a woman too.)
I’m also a woman, and has the shame associated with SPYING ON YOUR HUSBAND somehow vanished in the 21st century? That’s much more of a social crime than ogling women in running shoes.
I mean, sure, people may not be able to resist temptation to take a peek at things, but at least realize that what you are doing is WRONG. Don’t just toss off a mention in an ends justifies the means aside.
DIB doesn’t think her marriage can last because her husband is attracted to other women’s running shoes?
Be grateful DIB. Wear running shoes for him and ignore his running shoe porn. Don’t look for it on his computer… just get your own damn computer, sheesh.
Dan’s said it before… if you dump the guy who you find out has a harmless fetish (like running shoes) you’ll end up with a guy who’s really good at hiding a dangerous or really creepy fetish (like pedophelia or necrophelia or bestiality or something).
Let this one go (assuming he’s a great guy in all other aspects) and be thankful he’s only into running shoes and not into decapitated-donkeys-in-running-shoes.
mother-in-law? when did she get married?
I tried to call the number and found that it had no voicemail- we will have to call in the daytime. 🙂
Dan – I agree with everything you’ve said about the prom debacle, but it is unwise of you to ridicule the county’s name in your podcast. Constance and her girlfriend should be allowed to go to prom; it’s bigotry to stop them. But intentionally mangling the pronunciation of the county – named for a Native American leader – does not bespeak sophistication or tolerance or open-mindedness. Again, I agree substantively with everything you’ve said, but this ridicule is exactly the kind of arrogance that progressives need to be careful of (that is, if you ever hope to convince anyone in Itawamba County of your views). You say everyone should be respectful in their calls to Itawamba County officials; you should take your own advice.
MississippianAtYale
Dan, you sure let DIB off easy.
“Why did he not bring this up before we got married?”
Gee, it couldn’t have been that he knew you well enough to know that you’d react in a totally accusatory way, be creeped out by it, and blame your over-reaction on _him_, could it? Or that he didn’t trust you w/ this information because he (rightly) suspected that you’re not trust-worthy.
Sweetie, here’s a nickel, go buy yourself a clue. Your husband was trying to avoid hurting you, because he knows who you are. In spite of you being a judgmental, uptight, close-minded cunt, he still loves you! You should kneel in front on of your man, clad in the brightest running-shoes possible, and tell him your days of being Ms. Prude are over, that you love him and will do what you can to live up to the incredible love he feels for you.
Wow, running shoes? What a creepy fetish. I mean, what could POSSIBLY be worse than a guy into running shoes??
Listen up DIB, he could be into dead chicks, horses, dead horses… and now you have an excuse to buy a shiny new pair of REALLY expensive sneakers every season. And yeah, if you wear them to bed more often, he’ll look at less shoe porn. (Less, not none. No guy watches no porn, get used to it. Also, many many women love the nekkid vids, so stop being such a damn prude.)
DIB, maybe you are not disturbed that your relationship is a fraud. Maybe the thing really bothering you is the cognitive dissonance from that part of your brain you are trying so hard to ignore (just like you ignored your husband’s hints) that has realized that you are an insensitive, selfish freak. Christ, and over such a vanilla fetish. You obviously think you are much better wife than you really are.
Ditch him. He’s much better off hiding in the bushes at the nearest 5K race.
Yeah, seriously- good call Scary. Pretty progessive of Mississippi to institute gay marriage when California can’t, huh?
jfljoe, #17, I assume you’re directing your comment at me? No one is claiming Mississippi as progressive. I’m only commenting that, if you want to convince Mississippians of your point of view, ridiculing the Native American names of their counties is not the best way to go about it. Why stoop to that when you can just argue the fairness of your position?
@18- Don’t get your knickers in a bunch. He’s directing his comment to 7, who claims to have sat next to Constance’s MIL on a plane. She can’t have a MIL- sorry Pamela.
DIB is being a prig with no freaking sense of humor. Give the guy a break! She’s all up offended because her fella likes hot women in running shoes. Who doesn’t like hot women in running shoes. Why do women want to lock up a man’s eyeballs when they marry, what a bore!
@18- The comment’s directed to Pamela @7 who claims to have sat next to Constance’s MIL. No MIL’s for Constance, so what gives, Pamela?
Great advice for CB, Dan. I’m ever amazed at the young fools that still buy into the notion that marriage will solve everything, and/or that sex isn’t such a big deal. Comes from the Judeo/Christian ‘values’ in this country that preach that all things sex are to be handled by God- no practical thinking allowed, and surely no discussion before marriage.
One more divorce before the ink’s dry on the marriage license, as sexual compatibility is vital to anyone with a libido. Good thing we gays are handy to blame for the demise of straight marriage.
Sorry for double post @21.
so DIB, you’re in park slope, right?
@14 to 16,
Admittedly, DIB’s emotions are all over the place so she didn’t voice very clearly what exactly is bothering her, but since she seems to be fine with the notion her husband thinks she looks hot in running shoes, I don’t think she has a problem with his fetish. She has a problem with him not telling her it’s a fetish, i.e. something he wants in bedroom as opposed to clothing items he thinks she looks hot in but doesn’t care all that much if they’re incorporated in sex or not. And of course the fact that other female owners of running shoes give him erections.
If anyone needs a template for your emails, you can borrow mine:
subject: Let Constance McMillen bring her girlfriend to prom!
My name is *blanked for internet privacy*. I’m a 25-year-old, professional, heterosexual female who is happily in love with her boyfriend. I’m also the sister of a lesbian in a committed relationship with her girlfriend. Your close-mindedness is an abomination, yet it exemplifies the Bible-thumping idiocy we as a nation have come to expect from your state. Why not try bucking convention and doing the right thing, instead of the convenient thing?
You’ve also, by canceling your school’s prom, made a target of Constance. I expect a lynch mob in klan robes isn’t an irregular sight around town, so you may not be concerned about this. But did you know that GLBTs as a whole have a much lower life expectancy than cisgendered heterosexuals, simply because they’re more likely to be killed by rabid fundamentalists?
You also realize that sexual preference is a protected civil right? I doubt it. But now perhaps you’re a bit wiser.
What a sad, old (wo)man you are.
@25
Well, thank you for the ESP lesson. I’m not gifted like you are, so I just took her words at face value.
For example, when she says,
“I had a right to know what I was getting into. I don’t know if I can live with knowing that he gets a hard-on for every running-shoe-wearing woman who goes by.”
and
“I feel physically sick to my stomach knowing that I didn’t really know who he was all this time.”
that’s pretty clear to me that she has a problem w/ his fetish, and not just about keeping it a secret. If only I had tiare’s psychic powers, I’d understand differently. Maybe she can give me lessons.
But thank you for the lesson in what a fetish is. What _would_ I do w/o you?
Oh, and why do I know you’re female? Because only a woman would worry about where a man’s boner comes from. Just because a man can get a woody over a variety of words, bodies, faces, thoughts & images doesn’t mean they don’t love their GFs & wives, or that the erections they get w/ them are somehow “dishonest.” The only time you women need to worry is when your men get erections elsewhere _and don’t_ get them with you, which doesn’t seem to be DIB’s problem.
At least, she didn’t write anything about their sex life, but I’m sure tiare knows. She’s psychic.
As for Concerned Buddy: “He’d like to have sex every day; she barely responds to his touch.”
Um…maybe she’s not frigid. Maybe he’s DOING IT WRONG. Rather than assuming he should dump her because she’s not going to bone him as much as he wants, he should sit down and find out if he’s stampeding towards the clitoris, doing that gross tongue thrusting-in-and-out-of-your-mouth kiss thing, or completely disrespecting or disregarding her needs in the bedroom. Just a thought.
@27, who pissed in your cornflakes?
I felt a bit bad for the running shoes guy, as it seems like such a harmless thing to be into, totally legal and easily indulged by your monogamous partner. All that time hiding his web tracks, when he could have just asked his wife! I’m a long-distance runner with a shoe addiction so maybe my viewpoint is skewed 🙂 I would better empathize with her outrage if his fetish were based on, say, a body type or race that automatically excluded her.
Advice to CA was right on! I guess one would need a contingency plan in case the husband is disgusted and never wants to speak of it again (would that be to drop the topic and continue to secretly flash the random men, thus risking that you someday forget to erase your web history and your husband finds out…)
Dan, you missed the boat with DIB. It’s not about her husband’s fetish, but rather it’s about the fact that he did not openly divulge this information fully in 11 years. This is about trust.
The key phrase is “but he has been hiding this from me for 11 years”. If he was not open about this, what else is he not open about? What might he be hiding completely? DIB has every right to feel betrayed, hurt, and thrown off kilter.
@31 DIB’s log suffering husband did disclose and DIB freaked out and pushed the memory of it into a memory hole labeled “hints”.
Ladies, you don’t get the truth unless and until you give your husbands permission to be truthful.
Tiare: So the guy was rude because he didn’t hide his festish well enough? As in his wife only found out after 11 years?! That’s some damn good hiding. You’re right, though, it’s a matter of respect. A member of a monogamous couple shouldn’t just announce “Hey, I want to bone him or her!” But that’s not what this guy was doing. He was looking at pictures of women with shoes. And maybe he would see a woman in shoes in public and get a boner. Who knows? But he WAS being discreet.
DIB: Don’t ask for an apology, offer one. Put yourself in his shoes. Your husband didn’t choose his kink. And he didn’t want to experience shame or make you feel the way you now say you feel. So for years he lived a (little) lie, hid out. Sure, he lied to you–if you call lying only go as far as saying those sports shoes turned him on. But he lied because he knew the price he’d pay for being real with you.
Anyway, to me, this is another one of those instances of “porn is cheating.” It ain’t. I suspect that for 99.9%, of men anyway, it’s just a masturbatory aid, no more.
I’m completely baffled by the first letter. They’ve been together for 11 years, it’s been a great relationship in so many ways, and now, just because she’s learning he gets turned on by running shoes, she feels “betrayed” and “creeped out”? What is the big deal here?
And Dan suggests he never told her about it because he was ashamed? How about another reason: because he never saw what the big freakin’ deal was? God knows I don’t! Maybe he’s been “hiding it for 11 years” because he never thought it was important enough to address. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Wow.
Is DB my grandma?
No…I bet even my gramma would react better to grampys weird fetish than this lady.
They’re RUNNING SHOES. I can literally think of no tamer fetish.
Why don’t you go google ‘fetish’ and see what you get?
Weird shit, eh?
All men have fetishes. All of them. For some its tits. For some it’s cellophane bodybags.
If you ever plan on having sex with a male ever again, I can pretty much guarantee he’ll be into weirder shit than shoes. Count yourself lucky that all you have to deal with is reeboks and go tell your husband your sorry for being an more overreactionary than a Burmese Junta.
Dan, you forgot to tell her that if she really loved her husband, she’d put on some running shoes and fuck him silly.
Re: (662) 862-3104 / Dumbfound In Brooklyn:
I don’t see what the big deal is with the wife wearing the running shoes, if not actually running for her man. 1. Her bod will be naturally tweaked by the exercise &.. 2.)Maybe;) she’ll discover that she enjoys the enacting her husband’s very reasonable fetish and;) in turn find that it turns her on to turn him on so much by granting him his wish.
It’s *insane* of the wife to not indulge her husband’s very vanilla, harmless fetish. What business does she have being his wife if she doesn’t bend a bit and allow him his own selfish happiness? It is allowed.
Re: Concerned Buddy
Same reason as above. His friend is really in for some unhappiness and unnecessarily-complicated pain is he goes through with marrying a woman who doesn’t have a sex drive that matches his own. Isn’t the whole point *really* in being married is because you’ve found as close as you can get to being with someone who satisfies you enough on as many levels as you’ve ever known? He’s a good friend for trying to help, and I agree with Dan: the engaged friend is on his own from there..
Re: Clever Acronym
As long as it’s only your breasts and not your face or I.P. address visible 😉 lol
That, and I am eager to look into helping Constance.
🙂
Thanks everyone and have a great morning/day. Peace. TVu;-Du;) lol
Advice to DIB:
Men get turned on by women, with the exception of gay men of course, so it should not shock you that he gets boners looking at other women. The fact that he looks at the specific article of clothing that a woman is wearing, really shouldn’t matter that much. It could just as easily be heels, boots, skirts, tight jeans, tank tops, tight T-shirts; or all of the above. He probably let you find this on his computer, since you didn’t take the earlier hints, and hoped that you would get the hint and wear sneakers for him more often. Instead you flipped out, and you damaged the marriage, not him. The fix, start wearing running shoes for him while cooking dinner, during sex, doing laundry, while watching TV, while out shopping; hell, take him shoe shopping, he’d probably love it.
Advice to CB:
Dan’s advice was pretty spot on, but perhaps your advice for him to get her to come to an understanding was misguided. He should sit down and talk to her about what her expectations are for sex, and explain his to her, so that they can move forward. Maybe she has an odd fetish that he just isn’t hitting, or maybe the relationship is about more than sex. But as for you, your part is done.
Advice to CA:
Unless you’re sure that your husband will get off on you showing your tits to strangers online, I wouldn’t bring it up right away. My suggestion would be to introduce him slowly, to your new fetish, and make it seem like you are flashing for the first time as a spur of the moment thing. If he doesn’t mind, then you might consider telling him you’ve been doing it for a while.
I think people should be warned that when they go on Chatroulette they can end up having their picture taken and distributed around the internet or published in places like the New York Times. If CA’s exposing herself, she might want to keep her face hidden.
Thanks for the info on how to help support Constance.
DIB:
…WTF? What’s so creepy about Running Shoes? That’s the most harmless fetish I’ve ever heard of, less so than a sandels fetish (running shoes are comfortable!).
Yeesh, what a prude.
We should have let the South secede when we had the chance. They have never been anything but a drag on the progress of this nation.
Listen, normally I don’t question orders, when Dan issues a call to arms on behalf of the Fag Nation, I’m usually the 1st one to suit up.
But before I wage internet war against Itawamba Schools I just want to check to corners.
We get alot of our news these days unfiltered. I just want to be sure that this young girl is legitimatly trying to attend the prom as a gay couple and not trying to make a play for attention by shouting ‘I’m Gay’ from the roof tops.
I don’t care if you are gay. I don’t think I ever cared. Just like I don’t care if you are Black, or if you where Manchester United underpants, or if you listen to Phish.
Real oppression is having someone come to your house in the middle of the night, put a bag over your head, and torture you at an undisclosed location for years and years and years because you weren’t at the Party meeting last Thursday. OMG you go to public school and the staff their are small minded cretins? Join the club. Sounds like this girl has a supportive family and is going to join the rest of us in the real world next year.
So can I get verification on these orders sir?
Oh and Dan should have destroyed DIB. What a whiny little bitch. Lets hope her next husband is into corpophagia and anonymous group sex.
Running shoes. Honestly…
I agree on the need to send a letter, but I feel, as I think Dan does, to be hostile will only make the school officials more steadfast, as if to say, “See what these people write? Why should be listen?”
I suggest appealing to their sense of humanity and the inevitability of gay rights as human rights. In my letter, I said:
I am writing to express my hope that you will change your mind and reinstate the prom, and allow Constance McMillen to attend with her girlfriend. To set her apart and cancel the prom is to single out people improperly on the basis of sexual orientation. On October 28, 2009, President Obama signed into law the Matthew Shepard act, making crimes motivated by a victim’s actual or perceived sexual orientation a federal hate crime.I bring this up to implore upon you that this is the time to stand up and end hate. This is the time to make sure our young person learn tolerance, not prejudice. This is the time to be heroes and support human rights. Gay rights are human rights. As educators and persons who care about what our young people–all of them–must face in the world, should they be given the best, most positive start possible? You can be heroes, you can do the right thing. I hope that you will find in your hearts the compassion to do so.
Gabriel’s World
God. DIB needs to STFU and put on some damn running shoes.
Anybody curious about that phone number?
I looked it up. It belongs to Sandy Sabine of Itawamba Agricultural High School.
Constance McMillen, a senior at IAHS, wanted to bring her girlsfriend, a sophomore at the school to her HS prom and was told that IAHS policy states that she cannot because prom dates must be of the “opposite sex.”
Constance McMillen is suing, claiming this is a free speech issue. Find out more here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/28221069/McMil…
Show your support for Candance and call the school at (662) 862-3104 to tell them that they need to get over their antiquated, sexually repressive policy.
Here’s what I wrote to the Superintendent and the Principal, trying to steer away from shaming and making anyone in the situation bad or wrong. The folks who made the decision, I am sure, thought that they were making the best decision. I can see that their position comes from a place of limitation, but they may not see that. I hope to make a connection with them, in order to have my message reach them.
Dear—–
I am writing to ask that the school district reconsider some recent decisions concerning the prom and Constance McMillan. I can appreciate the need to make the prom a safe and enjoyable event for all of the students. I can imagine that Constance’s request to attend the prom with a girlfriend might have come as a surprise and a shock. And yet, homosexuality is a reality for for a certain percentage of the population. I honor Constance’s courage to stand in her own truth and knowing of herself. I wonder if the school district can be equally courageous; to be willing to see a bigger picture that will allow for each of the students to be honored and seen, exactly as they are.
I write to ask if the school district would be willing to make a change to a long standing policy that limits prom attendance to heterosexual couples. I ask the school district to consider the needs of all the students and to allow gay and lesbian students to attend with same sex partners, in a celebration of diversity and the open heart.
Respectfully,
Kathleen
@30maybe the woman with the problem with the running shoe fetish is one of those doughy girls that NEVER works out. so he’s NOT really attracted to her in running shoes…. ’cause she doesn’t wear them.
Most of the comments about DIB seem to be pretty on-target. I haven’t seen any about the point that most struck me in her letter… “I feel physically sick to my stomach knowing that I didn’t really know who he was all this time.” Who on Earth “really knows” their partner? Heck, I’m 40, and I can’t say I really know MYSELF let alone someone else. Humans are complicated animals, and we remake ourselves every day. Embrace the mystery, sweet heart… and give your poor husband a break.
Poor D.I.B.: she’s getting all hysterical over something her husband is entitled to: his fantasies as long as he’s pleasuring himself or sharing the pleasure with his wife. If she can’t withstand the “shock” of not knowing her husband had a fetish for women in running shoes, then what does it say for the rest of the state of her marriage?
As for C.B.:
You mean well, but your buddy is going to do what he’s gonna do. Personally? I couldn’t ever see myself marrying anyone who wasn’t similar in sex drive to me. I know some people equate marriage with settling down and boringness, but why should it be? If you really follow your heart, gut and mind, you’ll find the right person. Otherwise, maybe the friend his fiance’ are content with out-of-sync sexual desires. I wouldn’t go there, but then, that’s just me 🙂 .
As for C.A.:
It’s not necessarily my thing, flashing strangers on a web cam, but that’s not to say I condemn it either: to each their own. If it subsequently fuels your desire for your hubby after the fact-and your face is not visible (that, or that pesky I.P. address), then why tell him? Although you may want to buy your own laptop and hide it away when the cat comes home after the mice have played lol.
Support for Constance 🙂 .
Good Day Everyone.
🙂
I would say that running shoes fetish is the most under the radar fetish you could have no need to hide you fetish stuff. No need to worrie about security finding a dildo or another normal toy, hell just wear them on the plain. No need to hide them from the perents or friends. Just pack workout outfit and you don’t ever need to answer and akward question agean. Is there a more inocuious item based fetish?