I’m a 27-year-old gay man. I had a really great first couple of dates with a guy, so for the third date I invited him to stay over. I cooked dinner, we watched a movie, and we had a lovely time in bed. In the morning, we had another romp. At one point, he was rimming me, and unexpectedly, unintentionally, I farted in his mouth a little. His reaction was along the lines of “EW! EWWWW! EW!” Mine was along the lines of trying to apologize through uncontrollable laughter. I said, “C’mere” and pulled him in to kiss me, and we finished with what I thought was minimal awkwardness.
Later in the day, to be cute, and even perhaps start a long-term shared joke, I sent an e-card that read, “I’m sorry for farting in your mouth.” He sent the following text message: “i’m not sure about this. yr a sweet guy but i’m dating some other people… i just can’t have farts in my mouth. i would have handled it a bit more respectfully.”
Is a sense of humor about the inevitable off-color moments too much to expect? I mean, this was one strike you’re out, not even a chance to talk it over. He dumped me over TEXT, for fuck’s sake! Good riddance, I suppose. But did I really handle this wrong?
Flatulent Anilingus Result: Termination
You handled this beautifully, FART—that’s why you got dumped via text message.
They don’t cover this in sex ed, I realize, but the average idiot knows there’s just one thing a person wants from someone who’s just “unexpectedly” farted in his mouth, even just a little, and it’s not an e-card. It’s a lengthy, abject, mortified, immediate, and heartfelt apology. And after a rimmee farts—a blessedly rare occurrence—it’s the rimmer’s response that sets the tone. Your guest was horrified and disgusted. You needed to take your emotional cues from him, FART, make your apologies and express or fake genuine remorse.
Instead, you laughed in his face, pulled him in for a kiss, and sent him a flip e-card. Basically, you did everything you could to give this guy the impression that you’re either an inconsiderate asshole incapable of reading another person’s emotional cues, FART, or that you may actually be into farts—or worse—and that you intentionally farted in his mouth. I would’ve dumped you, too.
Yes, a sense of humor about those off-color moments is not too much to expect. But no relationship progresses to the laughing-off-the-fart-in-your-mouth stage, FART, until after—long after—you’ve demonstrated to the person you’re dating that you’re a fundamentally decent, considerate person, worthy of their time and affections.
Every so often, I have to fight the urge to contact an ex-boyfriend. It didn’t end well (I cheated). I’m happily married, have two children, and live in a completely different part of the country now. Yet, I feel sad that we don’t still know each other. The reasons for the indiscretion include, among other things, stupidity and youth. (Also the fact that the indiscretion involved a different ex-boyfriend who begged and pleaded for one final hurrah—and then I told the then-current [now-ex] boyfriend that it was forced, which it wasn’t, which the then-current [now-ex] boyfriend rightly didn’t believe.)
I know my reasons are selfish: I want to explain myself, I want to move on, I want to be forgiven. But if he wanted to be in contact with me, he would be. And yet, like a crazed idiot, I still hold out hope that someday he’ll contact me or that we’ll bump into each other. Should I contact him?
Can’t Let Go
You should suck it up, CLG.
It’s killing you that someone out there might hate your guts (with cause), might think you’re scum (because you behaved like scum), and, we can safely presume at this stage, is content to have you out of his life (otherwise he would’ve looked you up on Facebook by now). This bothers you because you’re not scum, of course; no person is defined by the two worst mistakes she ever made. (I’m referring to (1) cheating and (2) making a false accusation of rape. What would’ve happened if your then-current [now-ex] boyfriend had gone to the police? Or taken the law into his own hands? Thank God your then-current [now-ex] boyfriend didn’t believe you.)
I don’t think you should contact him, CLG, not until you’re a little more interested in what you could give him (a long-overdue apology) and a little less interested in what he could give you (absolution).
My wife and I divorced three years ago. Six months ago, I began seeing a good friend of my daughter’s. I knew this was dangerous territory, but I really liked this girl. A month ago, we took our relationship public. My daughter reacted poorly. She did not demand that we break up, but she let me know that the relationship made her uncomfortable. And she was rightfully upset about some personal information my girlfriend had told me about her.
During the past four weeks, my daughter has gradually edged my girlfriend out of her personal life. She has also begun to spend less time with me. She tells me she does not want me to have to choose between her and my girlfriend; although, if she stops spending time with me, that’s exactly what she’s doing. I know she’s upset. But I’m a grown man, and I just want to be happy. And in spite of the age difference, my girlfriend makes me very happy. What can I do to make my daughter more comfortable with my new relationship?
Father Doesn’t Always Know Best
P.S. The information my girlfriend shared about my daughter was inconsequential: the name of a young man she was seeing and that my daughter purchased an expensive dress.
It’s nice to know that your girlfriend manages to make you happy “in spite of the age difference.” Too many late-middle-aged men succumb to despair in the arms of their much-younger girlfriends. Anyway…
What can you do to make your daughter comfortable with you fucking her friend while her friend blabs to you? Nothing. Your daughter may eventually become comfortable with your relationship, FDAKB, but there’s nothing you can do to artificially force up her comfort level. And while emotional blackmail—”My girlfriend makes me happy, but I will sacrifice my happiness for you, darling, if that’s what you want…”—may result in your daughter spending more time with you and your girlfriend now, her resentment at being blackmailed will do irreparable damage to your relationship with her over the long run.
So just shut the fuck up, Dad, stop whining, and continue to enjoy the girlfriend in spite of the age difference. Then apologize to your daughter for (1) keeping the relationship from her for so long (your daughter may be losing sleep over things she told her friend before she found out you were fucking) and (2) the “inconsequential” invasion of her privacy that already took place. Then give your daughter the space she needs and the privacy she has a right to.
I will be answering love and sex questions in Questionland on April 22. Visit thestranger.com/questionland to ask me questions and see my answers.
” Yes, we can rationally conclude that our parents have sex, that they’re sexual beings and need to have their needs met, but I don’t ever, EVER want to hear or see it.”
Better decline the invitation to his next wedding, if he ever has one, then. I hate to tell you this, brace yourself, but getting married probably means he will have been fucking the new wife for some time already, and he almost certainly will be fucking her shortly afterwards. Maybe even that night. James, fetch the fainting couch; I fear I’ve said too much.
Better not invite him to your wedding either, lest it dawn on him that you and your spouse-to-be are doing the same thing.
Seriously, what do you think this guy actually said to his daughter? Details of their latest session? “EllieMae and I are seeing each other” is about as graphic as “EllieMae and I are getting married.” Both of them carry the implication that dear old Dad has been (la-la-la-I-can’t-hear-you) fucking somebody. But it’s not like they are going to rub your nose in the specifics.
By the time you are a twenty-something, you should smart enough to recognize what a complete STICK you’ve been in your parents’ sex lives for the last couple of DECADES. (I openly wonder how anyone ever manages to have more than one; a first child is the best, loudest, most insistent contraceptive in the world.) Frankly, by now you ought to be mature enough to apologize for all the inconvenience you caused, laugh, and move on, rather than continue to interfere by making them tiptoe around your little-girl squeamishness.
My girlfriend farted in my face whilst I was down on her & she was trying to force a female ejeculation during orgasm.
We both fell about the place in fits of laughter, it’s one of those personal moments that we have had together & makes our relationship stronger.
I think FART handled it the right way. Rimming is inherently comical. His date probably wasn’t into the idea of continuing the relationship (lots of guys lose interest after the first time they get naked together, I don’t think I’m the only one that happens to! please say I’m not the only one that happens to) and used the fart as an excuse to break it off. The two of them probably wouldn’t have been a good match anyway, since their senses of humor obviously aren’t compatible.
1.) I initially sided with Fart, but Dan won me over with his argument. It would have bothered me if a new love interest had farted in my face and then laughed about it. I understand using humor to defuse an embarrassing situation, but a little humility would have gone a long way.
2.) I have sympathy for CLG simply because I myself am a borderline case. It’s difficult to reconcile your identity with who you are, who you want to be, and that psycho who comes and goes whenever they damn well feel like it. Dan hit the nail on the head. She’s not seeking an affair as others have suggested (although she might be seeking drama), she wants absolution. I have a similar desire to dig up the past and change it. I can only suggest that CLG accepts the past, leaves it behind, and focuses on the person she is now.
3.) FDAKB’s mistake was not in dating someone his daughter’s age, but dating his daughter’s close friend. It was an immature and selfish move. It’s completely natural that she would be uncomfortable and want some space. Stop whining and let your daughter adjust.
@ 151 Oh please, I’m sorry your kids ruined your sex life, but your wedding example is stupid and out of context. I find it funny that most people are pointing out that the problem lies with him banging the daughters friend, not the age difference, yet some people want to turn this into a middle-age-men-get-too-much-crap-for-boning-hot-young-things pity fest. A good parent doesn’t sleep with their kids friends. Thats it. FDAKB used the term “dangerous territory” so he knew it was a shitty thing to do and he’s getting the just reaction of banging his daughters friend. And no amount of justification changes that.
I’m with FART on this one. His bum chum seems like a real tight ass. Good riddance.
@156 I agree completely. FART is well rid of his uptight body-phobic date. If I had a dollar for every time I had shit on my dick or got an elbow in the cheek during sex, I’d be rich. If the guy wants porn sex, he should rent porn. What a fucking baby.
The creepy dad dating his daughter’s friend needs intense counseling. I feel so sorry for his daughter. What an icky icky icky man.
@148: Lament it all you want, but that won’t change the fact that generally speaking, men age better than women. Not EVERY man does, of course; many pretty boys end up with “melting face syndrome” when they hit middle age.
But that’s just it, aging is a lot harsher to feminine features than masculine ones — or more accurately, aging is harsher to neotenous faces, male or female. And every society I know of values neoteny, especially in women. But the same wide-eyed, childlike features that looked so appealing in a person’s 20s, become incongruous and even grotesque in his/her 60s.
Meanwhile, more masculine features tend to weather better, and can even benefit from the coarsening of features that comes with middle age. It’s actually one of the wonderful ironies of life: a lot of women who were awkward-looking in their 20s often age remarkably well, and when they hit middle age, look far better than their “prettier” peers. The big nose that was overly strong, the too-prominent chin, can become a kind of asset.
So I don’t think it’s just the money, or the power; besides the stuff I mentioned, there are plenty of other reasons. And I don’t think it’s all socially constructed, either. If incest doesn’t make evolutionary sense (as you argued), neither does sleeping with someone who can’t make kids at all. But older men can remain fertile well into their 70s, or even beyond.
I’m really surprised that Dan made no mention of Obama’s having ordered hospital visitation rights for same-sex couples. I assume this was just an oversight, as I would hope he’s as enthusiastic about it as so many of us are.
My father was 34 years older than my mother when they married. If they hadn’t had sex I wouldn’t be here. They were well matched. Only one of my father’s older children had a problem with their relationship, and today she regrets her reaction back then. Mind you, my mother was not one of said children’s friends, but even if she had been, so what? They were both consenting adults (64 and 30). It worked for them. Everybody else, buzz off.
I think the young girlfriend’s actions were largely ignored here because the issue is between the father and his daughter. Not because she’s being let off the hook, indeed in the last month it seems the daughter has removed the girlfriend from her social life completely. Its just…the question wasn’t asking anything about her.
You know what, I think the father just wants to brag. Nothing drives home “I’m dating women young enough to be my daughter” like dating daughter’s friends. And he doesn’t want to give his daughter space either, so that he can remind the world he’s dating younger women again by ratcheting up the drama with more excuses to say out loud, ‘you need to accept me dating a younger woman’. Giving his daughter space would mean losing out on chances to bring the attention on it again.
@159
He made a slog entry on the 15th:
slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives
/2010/04/15/president-orders-us-hospitals-to-recognize-gay-relationships
Sorry for the splitted link! Please attach the last part to see the entry.
I don’t see my post up here, I’m not sure how long it takes or if it got on. So. What we don’t know here is motivation or frequency. The father here who is dating his daughter’s friend is doing this why? How serious is that why, and how often does his lack of consideration for her feelings take presidence? I think she may need to write him off as a father or get resigned to major damage if she doesn’t already have it. Think, people! What kind of self centered asshole thinks their daughter should react well to having her friend taken by her dad? Taken is the word here. Power is not shared in this non-agreement. Consideration for boundaries is not had in this non-agreement. The man is at best a class A jerk, at worst it’s hard to say. How often does he do this sort of thing? He doesn’t sound here like he thiks its out of the norm. How much of her childhood is already fucked by dealing with this kind of action? He doesn’t have impulse control, what else dosen’t he have? What else does he do that basically says “my wants come first, and you better like them”? I think he is a shit. I think people who think she has to deal with the fact he has sex/needs are missing the point. The point is, there are a million other people out there. Why a friend of hers? I see way too much power and self interest in this, more than I see any love of any kind.
god, you are SO ON this week
There’s a good reason FDAKB’s daughter is growing distant: her trust in two people who were close to her has been pretty thoroughly trashed.
Someone who fucks your dad for five months and keeps it a secret from you is not your friend, period. And a dad who secretly fucks your friend is a selfish prick.
It’s a little late for FDAKB to be worried about his daughter’s comfort. He should have thought about that in the beginning when he started banging her friend. Now the damage is done.
Gross. If my dad did that I wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of my life.
FART knew there was poop on he other side of the hole right? Poop that creates gas. So open wide and let the sweet smell in!
#164: “What else does he do that basically says “my wants come first, and you better like them”?
Did you notice that it takes two people to decide to get together? Daughter’s friend also had to say yes to this arrangement. Apparently you think that Daughter’s wants are more important than both Dad’s and Girlfriend’s put together. Self-entitled much?
@105
SPOT ON!
RE: FDAKB.
All these (obviously male) commenters defending the aging lothario father dating his daughter’s “very good friend” have obviously not really read the original letter or most of the excellent comments about it.
Possibly they might think how they’d feel if their Dad began dating one of their ex-girl friends, and Dad letting them know she’s telling him stuff about them?
I imagine divorced Dad gets a huge ego and sexual boost out of having a much younger chick in his bed. I seriously suspect that is the main
“connection” he’s getting from this relationship.
As another commenter pointed out, Dad was lazily trolling for interest in the handiest social stream.
The fact he kept it from his family means he knew exactly how bad this was.
And here’s something I didn’t see anyone else mention. Who told daughter the secrets that she confided to “very good friend”?
If it was “very good friend”, then who can blame Daughter for distancing herself from that disloyal slut?
If it was Cradle Robbing Daddy, then why is “very good friend” even still hanging around this untrustworthy lover who can’t keep his mouth shut?
So FDAKB wants his cake and to eat it too. As most of the commenters indicate, that is not going to happen.
FDAKB can eat his cake, sure, but he really crossed the line with his daughter and she has a right to be very upset. When “very good friend” realizes how bad this all makes her look to her friends and family, she’s going to back out too.
I hardly think too many of her young friends will want to hang out with Old Dude – unless he buys all the booze.
Daddy will be left with memories like stale frosting, and a probably permanently ruined relationship with his daughter.
Sadly, Daughter will have lost the most: damaged trust and respect for her Dad and a close friendship. I hope she finds a way to get over the feelings of betrayal.
Seriously? I’d say FART came out ahead and DID the right thing: he obviously wants to be with someone who DOES have a sense of humor about these things. He didn’t really seem to deserve a talking to in this case.
Jeez.
The e-card wasn’t an apology, it was a joke. For people reading a sex blog on the interwebs in 2010, you think folks would be a little more savvy.
Today’s lesson? Sleeping with someone after 3 dates doesn’t mean you’re a couple, and thus, doesn’t mean you can get dumped. He just doesn’t want to see you anymore.
OR you could bitch about something IMPORTANT that’s happening in Canada like new, innovative sex education program that was GOING to be implemented until right wing religious types protested. How bout helping us out there?!!?
http://www.ottawacitizen.com/health/real…
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=11…
Hello, dumb@ass Dad, you’re going to lose your relationship with your daughter if you keep up this self-righteous “I just wanna be happy” crap. You didn’t write for advice on how to rebuild your relationship with your daughter, you wrote for advice on how you could continue to do whatever the (*&^ you want with whomever the (*&^ you want without any more reaction from your daughter, despite the fact that she’s dealing with the emotional double whammy that the father she respected not only dates young women for ego and sex reasons, but cares so little about her that he’ll hit on her friends, then doesn’t tell the stupid little twat he’s screwing to STFU when she starts dishing gossip on his daughter. How do you think she likes the picture of her former friend and father lying in bed talking about her private information?
You are supposed to come down on YOUR DAUGHTER’s side – get it? Tell the stupid friend if she shares one more private detail of your daughter’s, she’s out the door, start thinking with the big head instead of the little one, and stop trying to make things easier for YOU and start trying to empathize with HER and be some sort of parent. People like you shouldn’t have children – Christ.
I’d be curious to know the reaction of the guys that are “supportive” of the Dad fucking the daughter’s friend, how they would feel if their Dad started fucking their ex-girlfriend?
And, yes, it is similar, in that the emotional connection we have with “close” friends can be at the same level as with an ex. Just not the physical connection.
I’d guess the guys defending “Dad” would have a different attitude if their Dad was fucking their ex-girlfriend. I call bullshit to any guy that would say differently.
Oh, and regarding FART, yes, a little humor might be applicable to defuse the situation, but he crossed the line with the e-card. I mean really, give me a fucking break. Farting in somebody’s mouth isn’t something you make a running joke about, unless it’s something you both find hilarious. Period.
I’d be inclined to let the discretion slide, at the moment it happened, but to receive an e-card later, stating, “sorry I farted in your mouth.” Give me a fucking break. Immature? Fuck yes. FART has absolutely no class, it’s obvious.
Seriously, at that point, for the rimmer, it becomes DT(inconsiderate)MFA.
if you’re ok with licking a butthole you should be ok with licking SHIT, much less get a fart in the face.
SERIOUSLY!!! YOU LICK BUTTHOLES!!!!
Dan: once again, excellent advice to FART and
FDAKB.
Good call, Frau Blucher (I love your use of Cloris Leachman’s role in Young Frankenstein!)!
Well, the whole Fart thing. He did say it was morning when the guy went down to rim him. So it was not surprising when the Fart let one go while he was being made relaxed. It’s not like he could have warned him,”Fire Down Below!” His partner was disgusted, I give him that. I would have been. But the partner should have discussed it with him. And if he was truly disgusted he would have upped and left right after that moment of the fart. But he didn’t! He stayed to have more sex with him. So it must not have truly bothered him.
As for the E-card, I probably would have done something similar! I always try to lighten a bad moment and try to get someone laugh at it. Sorry, but I view this as if someone shot cum in your eye. It happens, you might be disgusted about it. But then laugh about it and move on! But I do get the feeling that the partner was just using him for sex and not interested in a relationship. Otherwise he wouldn’t have brought up that he was dating 3 other guys. And if he was truthful about that. him dumping you would be the best thing!
Like Dan said last week about the woman who got freaked out by her boyfriend’s sexual tastes and her instinct told her to run, you should trust your gut instinct, it’s there to protect you from getting hurt by people. I mean, I don’t know what the grown up, selfless, dignified response to finding out my dad was dating one of my friends would be, but my gut reaction would be to cut them out of my life.
I don’t know but my dad showing up with a friend on my arm would just set off alarm bells in my head like “you have a bad egg for a father”, “continuing to have a relationship with him will only cause you pain throughout your life”, “you are not responsable for him just because he’s your relative” “dump the mother fucker!” I know that sounds harsh but dating your close friend is just evidence that he has had sexual thoughts about you, I mean it’s literally the closest he can get to you sexauly right?
It doesn’t sound like she’s punishing her father because she’s angry, but rather she’s trying to protect herself from him, this relationship between her father and friend has disturbed her and she wants to get as far away from them as possible rather than deal with it.
I’m probably going to get a lot of negative feedback from people but I completely understand why the daughter has responded the way she has because I would do exactly the same thing to my dad if he went out with one of my friends.
Hey – you put your face down where the sun don’t shine – you’re takin’ a risk. Plain and simple. And to act all shocked when something happens?
good riddance I say.
“I know that sounds harsh but dating your close friend is just evidence that he has had sexual thoughts about you, I mean it’s literally the closest he can get to you sexauly right?”
That doesn’t sound harsh. What it sounds is non-sequitur logic-fail narcissistic batshit-crazy.
More likely, he would deeply prefer that you simply weren’t a factor. His relationship with this woman would be significantly easier then.
But he’s dating her anyway, a choice that for the first time in twenty-something years puts his wants ahead of yours. (I’ll bet after two decades of coming first, you are pretty used to the privilege.) And here the girlfriend is, backing him up on that choice. That’s two of them, putting their needs ahead of yours. And that fact pisses you off.
Rather than it being some incestuous fascination with you and invasion of your personal space, the problem really is that for the first time, and in a really big way, it’s not all about you.
Avast2006, please don’t breed. There’s enough assholes with superiority complexes and we don’t need anymore.
OK, so there’s been a shitload of reactions to FART’s letter. Dan, I love you and (almost) always agree with you, but you were off-base on this one. Laughter truly is the best medicine, and that is the best way of defusing a situation like this. Of course, I imagine it depends on the grossness of the fart in question — was it a silent, deadly, stinkeroo or one of those loud, but essentially harmless ones? Or somewhere else on the spectrum? That may have a lot to do with the reaction, but still … the rimmer was LICKING the guy’s ASSHOLE. Get over it. Shit happens (OK, not shit in this case, but damn close).
And I speak from experience — I’m fond of being the top and the bottom when it comes to rimming.
Years ago, I had a slightly similar experience. I was fucking my lover, when he (involuntarily) dropped a loud, long fart. Needless to say, any thought of orgasms went out the window that night — but we giggled the night away, and this episode endures. It’s one we remember to this day. Definitely worth it!
But thanks for a great column, Savage. You can fart in my face anytime!
– David
chibiyui @185:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem
Nice try. Am I to assume that name-calling is all you have left by way of argument, or do you intend to present some actual logic along with your tantrum?
Did anyone else find Dan’s use of the phrase “inconsiderate asshole” in response to the letter from someone who accidentally farted while being rimmed hilarious? Kills me.
Apparently a guy I fucked is into farting. He loved to rim me and I was okay with that. That’s as far as it went before we no longer spoke (drama, yay!). But a year later I found his X-tube page and his favorite videos were closeups of guys farting, or getting face-fulls of farts.
I’m soo glad I was out of there before any of that started!
“As a 20-something, you completely lack the perspective of what if feels like to be 45, in order to comment intelligently on how those older than you ought to feel and act.”
This is EXACTLY why May/December romances CAN be skeevy! And the above was a comment response supporting the aging Lothario!
Not all May/December romances ARE skeevy. Some older partners are more immature than others, and some younger partners are more mature than others. Everything is contextual. Obviously. And hello, guys that are creepy at 50 were probably somewhat creepy at 15, or 35. If only they would wear signs.
I’m a girl who knows how manipulative women can be; the older men should be very worried about the hot 20 something in their beds. She may be stupid now, but there is a very real possibility she will milk. you. dry. in the future and not in the good way.
well ive gotten farted on while licking a chicks front butt but a fart in the mouth owww i bet he’ll be tasting that one for a while. honestly though i dont think i could have any respect for anyone that licked my ass. let alone kiss them after. sorry thats just my thinking. but to each thier own.
@187 I’m not arguing with you. My last statement concerning any sort of disagreement pertaining to FDKAB was at 155, which you ignored. at 185, I was pointing out that you have the belief that you should be able to bang whomever of your hopefully hypothetical children’s friends, and that your hypothetical children should just deal with it. Because who cares that the parent is messing up their interpersonal relationships, they raised them, they should be able to bang any one of their kids friends and not have any repercussions for their choice. A person with that sort of mentality does not make a good parent. None of the rational arguments on here are condemning FDKAB for the age difference, it’s friendship that was probably ruined by HIS interjection into HIS CHILDS social circle. AND HE KNEW IT FROM THE START. If you want to bang a twenty year old, just do it, no one cares as long as it’s consensual. But a person can do that without messing up their kids friendships. Or at least a decent person can.
The asshole with a superiority complex comes from the fact that your recent comments end with you putting down whomever your arguing with with statements like “It’s not all about you” “self-entitled much?”. If you want to get your kicks and feel better about yourself online, fine do it, but don’t cry if someone calls you out on it.
where’s our new column, Dan?
It’s Wednesday..
Hmmm. I used to think the hetero or homo May/December thing was lame, until… I started dating my BF. He’s 31. I’m 47. He asked me out. I never hit on guys much younger than I when I am single. We just clicked. I adore him. His Mom (they are close)is 52 and very happy for him that he has someone in his life. She and I get along just fine right from the start.
Now a divoraced dad banging his daughters best friend is way lame and very poor judgement. The dude is a tool and deserves to be ignored by his daughter.
A FART in the face, although unpleasant for most, comes w/the rimming territory. I am surprised no one tried to one up that. Rimming leads to butt F’in and that can stimulate peristolsis and there’s an outside chance of ending up w/a dump in the bed. It could have been much worse. Just saying. I suspect FART wasn’t picking up on many clues w/his date and after 3 dates thats pretty much enough to figure out if you’re interested in sticking around or not. The FART was a convenient excuse to bail. Plus the lame e-card.
#78 Yes, women need a taste of what it’s like to be accused of rape. Why don’t we trade? Men can start getting raped at a 1 to 4 ratio and women can start getting falsely accused of rape at a 1 to 40,000 ratio. And we all know that getting falsely accused of rape is SO much worse than getting raped, so I totally understand your frustration with women and our privileged position.
😉
I imagine that if FDKAB thought for five minutes about his daughter — his lovely daughter that he is so pissed at for not paying enough attention to him — going out and banging one of his middle-aged golf buddies, business partners, or pals, he’d be left retching. It’s gross because of the violation of trust and friendship. More than that his letter is just so damn whiny. He doesn’t understand why his daughter doesn’t want to talk to him, with all the overtones of secrecy and incest and booting her out of his life, only to be replaced by a new and different daughter figure? I wouldn’t talk to him either, and he needs to realize that he just lost the respect of his child and caused her a great deal of trauma. I hope having his ego & dick pumped up by his sweet thang is worth it.
Yes, a very late post. Just got a chance to read the archive, It’s about the response to FART. Wow. Not where I expected it to go. I would have done exactly what FART did, and be just as baffled/miffed by the extremity of the response. My husband and I have had similar, though not as extreme situations. When we first got together, he was quite prim on many things. Me, not so much, and I have quite the sarcastic edge to my tongue. (A familial legacy.) There were some missteps in the early times where I snarked off some incident or other to his total mortification, but we came to the understanding that, yes, I needed to be more conscientious in my words and attitude, but that just as much, he needed to lighten the fuck up. He’s lightened some, I’ve enlightened some. I can still piss him off on occasion, but I’m more aware when I’ve done it and he’s more accepting that I can be a thoughtless pig but my heart’s in the right place. Yes, it is a matter of growth, but it started at what seems to be close levels to what FART experienced. If Miss No-air-from-there felt the need to snap so hard, then break it off, I think FART is all the better for it. Too bad the other cheek then got a return swipe from you for sharing his story, my guess hoping for a “lighten the fuck up” from you to Miss Tight-ass. Well, Fart, you’ve got it from me. Love you, Dan, but this one really threw me a curve.
CLG’s ex-boyfriend may have an additional reason for wanting to keep as much distance from CLG as possible. He may be thinking “If she is capable of making a false rape allegation against one ex, then she can make a false allegation against me.”