Savage Love

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3. I know that this response is to something waaay earlier in the thread, but I wanted to mention that birth control pills are used for more than preventing pregnancy. I have dysmenorrhea, so my doctor prescribed be birth control pills to ease the pain every month. Previously, I was incapacitated by cramps two or three days a month and had week-long, very heavy periods on a twenty-three day cycle (which led to me becoming anemic from the time I hit puberty) but now I’m functional all month long except on rare occasions. Without the pill, I’d be in some serious trouble, health-wise.

   And it isn’t just me. Many of my friends at college have done the same thing for the same problem.

   I agree that pregnancy is a major health event, but sometimes people want to play the blame game. That’s why I wanted to point out that these services are necessary in other cases.

4. @147

   Planned Parenthood gets about $350 million a year from the federal government. That is not very much, actually. The government spends a fuckton more on bullshit like the war on drugs and god knows whatever ridiculous pork congress finances (like bridges to nowhere). The whole “oh it’s MY money going to something that has nothing to do with me, BAAAAAD!” argument gets stupider with every telling. Do you actually know where all of your tax money goes? No. No one does. Whine about something that is actually wasteful.

5. “Which one of us needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again?”

   I’m surprised no one picked up on the obvious tone of the last sentence in the tool’s post. This kid is just looking for some drama and wanting to have a “tit-for-tat” type situation where he drags up every tiny little thing that he “did” for the other person in his “relationship” so he can he is “right.” He isn’t ready to be in a relationship with a real person because he is too busy turning the women who have the misfortune to be with him into “mummy” or rather, in America, “mommy.”

6. What #122 said. Geez, I’m planning to be getting action when I’m twice that age. Twice.

7. I’m a 38 year old woman and recently had the pleasure of a 20 year old man. WOW!!!! They are eager to please, open to suggestion and they want to learn. One of the best nights of my life. We are seeing each other on a regular basis and we actually have things in common. Go ahead call me Mrs. Robinson, but I’m having great sex and educating a young man on how to truly pleasure a woman.

8. @163 – Glad you found one who is eager to please and open to suggestion. Good for you, enjoy many more “best nights.” What makes think your sweetie is representative of young men in general, rather than being a particularly open-minded young gentleman?

9. “This isn’t just an attack on American women.”

   As a man I say, so what if it was just that? Citizens face social realities and those social realities almost inevitably become political realities. The community of a state should give a shit about political realities, not the least of which being abortion services. The political reality of abortion is it has happened for millenia, and when services were unavailable and where services are currently unavailable, the numbers of abortions do not decrease. Rather, hospitals have to set up whole additional wards to deal with all the sepsis, bleeding and death that back-alley abortion entails. Don’t be apart of a society if you are not going to give a shit about political realities. And please don’t participate if all you care about it is a personal conception of the good that precludes the common liberal and republican (in the theoretical not colloquial sense) principles of an American society.

   As a canadian, however, I can’t do a damn thing but sit and watch.

10. Thanks for lousing up this week’s column with Planned Parenthood propaganda. I’d like to know why MBMC does not have health insurance. If she makes too much to qualify for Medicaid, has she looked into other options?

    No matter what you think about PP, the federal government has got to start cutting off private organizations and people living off the tax payer. We can’t afford it anymore and we are already leaving our children a mountain of public debt and a bleak future. I wish the feds would fund dog and cat shelters and spay and neuter programs to end the millions of healthy animals euthanized each year, but again, no money.

    Surely PP, like PBS, could raise all of the money they need from individuals. Also, I look forward to those in favor of PP federal funding to support stopping it once the healthcare law is passed and we’re all supposed to be covered.

    On Wisconsin, I’m sick of this being twisted as anti-union. It is attempting to reform “public” unions whose pension and other benefits are bankrupting state and local governments. I’m in the private sector and pay 20% of my health care premiums (in addition to co-pays and deductibles) and I have no pension at all, except a 401K that my employer pays nothing into. So I don’t want to hear crybabies who are being asked to partially pay for the pension and benefits they will receive (sometimes after just 20 years of service).

    FDR was against public employee unions and rightly so. Unions were needed in the era of greedy industrialists who abused labor. If your elected government is your employer you don’t need a union.

11. @36

    If you REALLY care about your tax dollars, you’d support funding planned parenthood. Why you ask? Because statics have shown time and time again that for every $1 spent on preventative care through orgs like PP, we save $4 of taxpayer money in medicare expenses.

    Talk about wasting the tax dollars. So after hearing that info, if you still think it’s theft spending your tax dollars on family planning and cancer screening, I’ll just join in the chorus calling you a misogynist prick.

    The logic just fails.

12. GYMGOTH @ 167

    You are completely wrong in your assumption that “On Wisconsin, I’m sick of this being twisted as anti-union. It is attempting to reform “public” unions whose pension and other benefits are bankrupting state and local governments.” You conveniently leave out the fact that the union employees have willingly offered to accept all pay and pension cuts that Gov. Walker is proposing, but that Walker refuses. He’s said clearly that this is only about breaking a union, not reform anything or even pay off the debt that he wracked up last month by giving corporate tax breaks. He manufactured a debt crises to break the unions, not even get out of debt.

    You are wrong those facts, but your last line is laughable for being even worse…”Unions were needed in the era of greedy industrialists who abused labor. If your elected government is your employer you don’t need a union.” Those robber barons didn’t go away and Gov. Walker has made it clear that he got elected to public office to serve the wishes of real life greedy industrialists.

13. I’m with Aurora, you missed the mark, Dan.
    This guy wasn’t expecting a GGG girl, we was expecting a love doll. It was soooo difficult for him to wait one day. And he still got what he wanted! And oh, having to get himself off was soooo unfulfilling.
    In a relationship, you are owed a healthy over all sex life, but you are not owed sex every time you’re in the mood. Maybe she was having a hard week, maybe she was sick. When I got pregnant, my sex drive dropped like a stone, and it’s still not all the way back up. Sex was painful, and I was tired. My husband pressured me all the time for sex. At first I was happy to help him out when I wasn’t in the mood, but after a few weeks of being constantly pressured, I became resentful, which dropped my sex drive even further. After a month of this, I was NEVER in the mood, because I no longer associated sex with fun, it was just something I did as a duty. It took me months of telling him that he would get more if he asked for less before he chilled out a bit. Then it was a few more months of no pressure (not no sex, but him waiting for me to initiate) before I was able to reset my mental wiring and see sex as a no pressure thing anymore. Now I even initiate hand jobs, blow jobs, etc when I’m not in the mood for full sex, and happily help him out when I’m not- but it’s because he never pressures me; I get to do it of my own accord.
    Constantly pressuring someone to have sex or even “help you out” when they’re not just sleepy, but also not at all turned on… well, it isn’t rape but it isn’t good either. And if it continues, it’s a good way to foster resentment and never get laid by them willingly again.

14. @23 as a single 31 yr old who is attractive, interesting, has a good sense of humor and adventure let me just say it is NOT easy to get laid just because you are a woman. At least if you have any standards whatsoever.

15. Hahaha @ 171….

    You are right….ever been to a swing club? Tons of hot women there. The guys? Ummmm, not so much….I guess they all have money or something.

    Reminds me of the old joke….anyone can get laid anytime they want really. All that you need to do is lower your standards.

16. Oh Lord, checked out Ashley and the men on there are not worth the time. pretty poor pickings. better luck on campus somewhere.

17. There’s a world of difference between “destroying
    Planned Parenthood” and “Not taxing people to sustain Planned Parenthood.” The latter is a gain in freedom. If you prefer entitlement to freedom, then admit it instead of twisting words.

18. @170 “it isn’t rape but it isn’t good either.”

    Exactly! If we stopped focusing so much on that one line between consensual and nonconsensual sex, maybe we could start fixing some of the BAD ( but consensual) sex that is out there. Just say no to BAD SEX!

19. Hey this is Lourdes the homely girl. Thanks so much for all your sweet comments, you guys! You cheered me up. #35: Yes, that’s exactly my point: Pretty much by definition, people, whether attractive or unattractive, are attracted to attractive people and not attracted to unattractive people. Tautological but true. But I also appreciate the point made made by several other posters that attractiveness is not %100 fixed and predetermined. There is wiggle room in there. Thanks again to all you wiggly folks out there for reminding me!

20. To MRSB, to Dan, and to all others involved in a scenario like MRSB describes: I want to tell you how to do it right, because this is just what happened to me:

    MRSB should become friends with a young WOMAN, around the age of the kind of guy she wants to lay. When you are having a private conversation with this woman friend, after you’re confident you can trust her judgment, you can mention that you want to have an affair with a guy her age. She will know at least one hot guy who will jump at the chance to enjoy such an exciting relationship.

    In my case, the wonderful older lady was in her fifties and I was just past 30 when a girl I was dating asked me if I would like to meet an older woman for NSA sex. It turned out to be one of the best experiences since time began.

21. I just gave $50 to planned Parenthood. come on, peeps: it’s important!

22. @177

    That’s the most circuitous route to a cock ever suggested.

23. upporting Planned Parenthood makes sense for the entire society, not just the folks who go there. That seems to be missing from the analysis done by 36. Planned Parenthood reduces abortion (as already stated) by reducing unwed, unplanned pregnancies. Fewer kids being raised by young moms means less crime, better schools and better citizens. I’m not trying to stereotype here, since there are plenty of great kids who overcome their circumstances (I happened to help raise a few) but this country would simply be better off if every parent became a parent when she (or he) was good and ready.

24. That should say “Supporting…” (the “S” got cut off).

25. @GymGoth – you are DOUCHE BAG.

    Planned Parenthood provides essential services. The House & legislators nationwide are campaigning to eliminate essential health services for women.

    Planned Parenthood is subsidized for people who can’t afford health care. We subsidize health care for our legislators, who can afford it. We subsidize health care for corporations, through immense biz tax breaks. We subsidize warfare to the tune of billions & billions for zero payoff. We JUST SUBSIDIZED CONTRACEPTIVES FOR HORSES.

    The fact is, we fund what we value. Women’s healthcare is not up for bargaining. Taking away the healthcare services for people who need when it literally cost 1/10 of a penny by each taxpayer, is idiotic & will not stand.

26. @GymSoth (167): Okay, the “If she makes too much to qualify for Medicaid” bit pisses me off in the amount of ignorance it shows.

    I’m twenty-six years old. In the state I live in (Missouri), I am TOO OLD for Medicaid. Let me repeat that: too old. In my state, you have to be age nineteen or younger to qualify, regardless of what you make. There are exactly three exceptions to this in my state:

    1) You can have family planning Medicaid (i.e, Medicaid that pays for birth control) IF AND ONLY IF you ALREADY HAVE CHILDREN. Period. End of story. I guess the assumption is that if you haven’t got pregnant so far, you don’t need any help not getting that way. (And it completely doesn’t address the issue of childless/childfree women who need birth control pills as a hormonal treatment for illnesses like PCOS or dysmenorrhea.)

    2) If you become pregnant (which, y’know, you might if you can’t afford birth control, since Medicaid won’t subsidize it), you will be covered for the duration of the pregnancy. The baby will qualify after the birth if you’re poor enough, but YOU will not. If you have any postpartum health issues, sucks to be you. There’s no coverage there.

    3) You can get sixty days of emergency Medicaid for a physical catastrophe. To give you an idea of what that physical catastrophe might be, my mother got it when one of her moles became cancerous and both it and a lymph node underneath it needed to be removed. It covered the surgery, and a few tests before and after. The end. Outside of that sixty day period, there was no coverage. My stepfather has injured his back to the point that he hasn’t physically been able to work for a year, but they won’t cover him; my brother had kidney stones last year that took him out of work for a month, but they didn’t cover him, either; my sister just had meningitis, and couldn’t get any Medicaid coverage for that, either.

    My stepfather’s medical care is currently paid for out of pocket, which meant that he and my mother lost their house. My brother is $8,000 in debt for the kidney stones. My sister was lucky enough to have friends who pooled together to help her.

    THAT’S reality. Medicaid does not cover enough people, or enough healthcare services. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.

    And people think that cutting off other healthcare services is a good idea?

    Everybody in my family are taxpayers. The system they put into should be there for them when they need its help. That was, I thought, KIND OF THE POINT of paying into it. You wanna talk about “something for nothing?” Talk to the corporations getting tax breaks while they outsource labor to India and come up with scheduling schemes to bilk their full-time employees in the U.S out of employer health coverage.

27. I don’t know why MBMC bothered me so much… maybe it’s because she doesn’t feel the responsibility to take charge of her life completely… she expects others to foot the bill for her choices that are not within her means. There are a lot of things I want in life that I do without because I can’t afford them and don’t expect others to foot the bill for me. Pap Smear is a health thing, I don’t have a problem with that… birth control and abortions are a personal/life style choice. Maybe she should just learn to keep her knees together until she can support the lifestyle she wants which includes paying for her own birth control or abortions…
    Until then, at age 23, she’s no better than an immature horny teenage. Maybe she needs to grow up before she has sex with partners.
    I’d buy her a vibrator and batteries until she is mature enough to handle adulthood.

28. I don’t know why MBMC bothered me so much… maybe it’s because she doesn’t feel the responsibility to take charge of her life completely… she expects others to foot the bill for choices that are not within her means. There are a lot of things I want in life that I do without because I can’t afford them and I don’t expect others to foot the bill for me.
    Pap Smear is a health thing, I don’t have a problem with that…and support her choice to a reduced price clinic – ultimately, I see that as preventative maintenence.
    Birth control and abortions are a personal/life style choice. Maybe she should just learn to keep her knees together until she can support the lifestyle she wants which includes paying for her own birth control or abortions… as she chooses.
    Until then, at age 23, she’s no better than an immature horny teenage. She needs to grow up before she has sex with partners.
    I’d buy her a vibrator and batteries until she is mature enough to handle adulthood.

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