I’m a 41-year-old, very attractive, happily married woman. My husband and I have been together for 15 years. When we first met, the sex was absolutely incredible. After we got married, the sex was good, not great. This was because we were busy raising our children. (My husband had custody of 4-year-old twins, children from his first marriage, when we married.) After the girls went off to college, things went right back to absolutely incredible.
One night, we were talking about our sexual fantasies, and I confessed that since my mid-30s I’ve fantasized about being with a younger man. He told me that he’d be fine with me living out that fantasy if I would have a MFF threesome with him. I agreed, and we had the MFF threesome with a friend of mine.
Here’s my question: How do I go about finding a gorgeous college-age man? I thought about posting an ad on Craigslist, but you’ve said that most of the people on Craigslist are flakes and picture collectors. Do you have better suggestions for finding a straight college-age guy for a no-strings-attached encounter? I’m in the Pacific Northwest, if that makes a difference. Also, I’m a complete newbie to this, so I’d appreciate a rundown of all of the usual safety advice when meeting a stranger for sex.
Mrs. Robinson Seeks Benjamin
P.S. Here is my e-mail address in case any of your gorgeous, male, college-age readers in the Pacific Northwest are interested: [e-mail deleted].
I don’t print the e-mail addresses of readers looking for hookups, MRSB, as I am a professional advice columnist, thankyouverymuch, not a yentapimp for wannabe Mrs. Robinsons. (It also gives my lawyer fits. “What if you print this woman’s e-mail address and she meets a nice young man who turns out to be Ted Bundy?” says my lawyer, who is old enough to remember who Ted Bundy was.)
But save for asking me to print your e-mail address in the column, MRSB, I approve of everything you and your husband are doing. Married olds everywhere should follow your example: You got through the lean years with decent-if-uninspired sex, you didn’t become bitter about all that decent-if-uninspired sex, you got back to indecent-and-inspired sex once the kids headed to college (which you were able to do because you didn’t let yourselves get bitter), and—most importantly—instead of freaking out and shooting down each other’s sexual fantasies, you’re helping each other realize those fantasies. Brafuckingvo.
So how do you find the right young man? Trawl the net, like all the other horndogs, and get your husband to help. (You asked your friend to have that three-way, right? Your husband can place a few “hotwife” ads.) Yes, there are fakers and flakes on Craigslist—lots and lots—but there are some real boys to be had; there’s also FetLife.com and AshleyMadison.com and a million other hookup sites. Cast a wide net.
Once you’ve found a potential Benjamin: Make sure you know his real name, meet in public, discuss safety (condoms) and sexual health (tested recently?), and be sure to let him know that someone else—someone heavily armed—knows where you are and who you’re with and when you’re supposed to be back. Here’s the tricky part: If you don’t get a good feeling when you meet in person—if he seems dodgy, if his pics lied, if he gives off a rape-y/serial-killer-y/lawyer-y-
fit-vindicating vibe—don’t go through with it.
P.S. Oh, what the hell: MRSB’s e-mail address is j.e.robinson71@gmail.com. Have at her, Benjamins.
I’m a 24-year-old straight male. For the past six months, I’ve been dating an amazing GGG girl. We have amazing sex. The other night, after a week of no sex, I came on to her in bed. She turned me down and said that she was okay with me masturbating on the other side of the bed so she could sleep. After a very unsatisfying orgasm, I told her I understood her need to sleep, since we had an early engagement the next morning, but that this was difficult for me. She said we’d have great sex the next day, which we did. Which one of us needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again?
Fucking Early Engagement Botches Lovely Evening
A week is a long time to go without at your age and at six months and prekids, I realize, but it sounds like the girlfriend more than made it up to you the next day. As for who needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again (and it will)…
GGG demands a little something of both of you. GGG requires you to stop whining about having to wait 24 whole hours for awesome sex, FEEBLE, and GGG requires her—if she isn’t completely exhausted (and it appears she wasn’t, as she was still awake when your “very unsatisfying orgasm” was over)—to come through with a loving assist when you’re desperate and she’s not feeling it, i.e., lie with you, talk dirty to you, stick a finger up your butt—whatever—for the 5 or 10 minutes it takes you to drain your sack.
I’m writing to ask you to help me spread the word about an issue close to my heart. I am a 23-year-old woman without medical insurance who relies on Planned Parenthood. They have done SO MUCH for me. They have provided me with birth control, annual Pap smears that I can actually afford, and emotional support that helped me get over an abusive relationship and sexual assault.
The US House of Representatives passed a bill last week that would cut all federal funding for Planned Parenthood. This isn’t just an attack on American women. Planned Parenthood educates the entire community about sexual health and sexually transmitted infections. I know I don’t need to preach to you. I plan to write to my senators about this, and I am encouraging everyone I know to do so. What I ask is that you mention this in your column as soon as possible.
My Body, My Choice
Done and done, MBMC.
We used to have a regular feature at Savage Love called “Straight Rights Watch.” It lapsed when the Democrats took the House in 2006 and political attacks on the sexual freedoms of straight people decreased. But the GOP is back in charge of the House and state houses across the country, and attacks on the sexual freedoms of heterosexuals—attempts to ban abortion, restrict access to birth control, destroy Planned Parenthood (which doesn’t just serve straight people), even make it legal to kill abortion providers (!!!)—are back, and so, sadly, is Straight Rights Watch.
Hello? Heterosexuals? Your legislators need to hear from you, and they need to hear from you now. Go to www.istandwithplannedparenthood.org and add your name to an open letter to Congress, then swing over to
www.plannedparenthood.org, click Donate, and give what you can.
CONFIDENTIAL TO MADISON, WISCONSIN: Hey, don’t let those lying bastards at Fox News get you down. To everyone else: Meet the people who are taking a stand at www.youtube.com/wethepeoplewisconsin.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
@97 right. Poor conservatives, just wanting to be left alone with your opinions! That would be fine, if conservatives weren’t so damn preoccupied with how everyone wants to live their lives. If conservatives would just let other people marry and adopt and be in charge of their own uteruses and fuck other consenting adults in peace, maybe us crazy lefties wouldn’t be all up in arms about conservatives.
@97
Conservatives can have their opinions. I think discussions ought to be somewhat less personal, buuuuut….people are still entitled to disagree with you.
I know i am preaching to the choir. You DID say Planned Parenthood doesn’t serve JUST heterosexuals, but why’d you make it a straight/queer issue? When its totally not!
Not hello heterosexuals!
Hello EVERYBODY!
Becuase PP serves men and womens’ reproductive health needs (okay, yes, the latter MUCH better than the former) it really is everyone who needs to call.
Additionally, the same folks that drum up anti-abortion debates are waiting only to move on to anti-queer legislation too.
And last, as queer folk, we all know exposing yourself to the risk of pregnancy/reproduction/breeding says nothing about your orientation/gender identity.
Im just sayin’. We can’t afford to dichotomize ourselves. Especially not know/like this.
[full disclosure, I’m a dyke. I used to work for Planned Parenthood. Until the economy crashed and they laid me off]
ok. choir-preaching done.
For LW2: Dan has offered that opinion many times – that the less-amorous partner should have sex anyway, in a minimal-participation way. But I feel like the LW should be warned: having sex when you don’t feel like it (not one time, of course, but as an expectation) is the fastest way to turn desire into revulsion. Sex ix not a duty. And I still can’t see why anyone would want to have sex with someone who isn’t into it. Maybe it’s just me, but I couldn’t enjoying knowing my partner was just waiting for me to get off so he could get some sleep.
I was listening to a talk by Gloria Steinem last night, and she made a fascinating point: Planned Parenthood is arguably the most trusted organization in the country, serving about 25% of the US population.
So sign, donate, and get to work!
Dan, you are in a position of fascinating power and influence and I truly admire what you have done with it. I just signed the petition and have been refreshing every few minutes just watching the numbers climb. It’s magnificent. Thank you for all you do.
@hollerer: Wow, you are so, so sexist and short-sighted. The government has a compelling interest in basic preventative health care, just as it has an interest in education. Why? Because a nation of illiterate, unemployable folks with STDs and more babies than they can take care of is not a happy, strong, RICH nation.
Also, if you’re having sex regularly, condoms are more expensive than birth control. Unless they’re subsidized by the government!
@97: You know, not all hippies like myself believe that Republicans are evil. Some of them are incredibly dumb and short-sighted, but hey, the Dems have plenty of dummies too. But these recent moves by the House bear no relation to fiscal responsibility, theoretically the major concern of voters in 2010; they’re simply a persistent attack on people who aren’t complying with “family values”. Like women who get raped! God forbid they have easy, anonymous access to STD testing and abortions! Or teenage boys who are selling their bodies for money, drugs, and a place to live! Clearly those 15-year-olds are getting what they deserve.
It’s not about saving money; it’s about trying to force compliance with ideas that just don’t match up to reality. And that’s why I’m pissed with Republicans this week. I don’t hold the Republican party responsible for Rush Limbaugh’s craziness(“Michelle Obama is too fat to lead a movement against obesity!”) or Michele Bachmann’s profound stupidity. But the political campaigns in the House, those I do hold them responsible for.
@7: Supporting Wisconsin is great, but she said she was in the Pacific Northwest. On a practical basis, she’d be better off visiting UDub, Washington State, Oregon, or Oregon State. (Not Gonzaga.) No one should have to get on a plane to hook up. Good idea otherwise.
I usually agree with Dan, but I’ve got to side with the people taking issue with his advice to FEEBLE. The whole “loving assist” thing IS good advice – for people who aren’t whiny, selfish assholes. If this was a frequently sort of thing, because of differing schedules and such, it would make sense. If his girlfriend never offered to make up for it in any way, and this was again frequent, that would make sense. But instead, she has to get up early, nicely tells him that they’ll have great sex tomorrow instead, and he is STILL a whiny douchebag? Does he even read Dan? Because if he did, he should be well acquainted with the number of people writing in to say their partner never wants to have sex, is always tired, never makes it up and so on. I think giving someone a raincheck for the next 24 hours IS being GGG. This guy needs a serious dose of reality, and if he doesn’t knock it the fuck off he’s probably going to annoy a pretty awesome sounding girlfriend out of his life, and be cursed by rule of karmic GGG to forever afterwards only have girlfriends that have low sex drives and are always too tired.
While I’m of very similar sentiments on the question of access to healthcare (heck, I’m all for a single-payer public health system), there are some holes in these arguments, and sadly, I think we need to figure out how to address them:
if you don’t pay for them to get healthy/stay healthy, they can’t work for you, and your company suffers.
Not in the age of outsourcing (or, for cheap labor, in-sourcing)…and besides, we now have a structural unemployment problem (yes, we do – it’s been building for a while, the Bush credit bubble just hid it), so this isn’t gonna fly.
If you don’t pay for them to stay healthy, we get epidemics that spread to rich people and make YOU SICK.
Sadly, in the age of anti-vaccine flat-earthers of the extreme liberal variety, this is a hollow threat. Until we run out of herd effect immunity and it’s demonstrable that ‘free’ public health vaccination programs don’t work, the old school communicable diseases aren’t going to be persuasive.
Nowadays, the differences you’re talking about are picking between those who die much younger of non-communicable medical problems (look at Brewer’s AZ “death panels” in re: Medicaid transplant patients).
When poor people can’t pay for things (like healthcare, other bills because of healthcare bills) they commit crime out of necessity.
I think the more persuasive view is that when poor people (which ought to be understood to be the bottom 3 quintiles) become utterly disenfranchised and no longer get to enjoy the benefits of our country, they start to get radicalized – look at Al Shabab here and look at what’s happening in Northern Africa right now. At the moment, the ‘haves’ believe they can simply shrug off and shed the ‘have-nots’ in our society – that they can hide in their private gated bubble (see the massive GOP push to crush the public sector and funnel public dollars into ‘privatized’ government). And in this age of globalization, the linkage between all parts of our communtiy/society is much much weaker than in the last progressive era, so they have a better shot at getting away with it. Nobody remembers the anarchist bombings and other radicalization in this country between the Gilded Age and the New Deal, but I fear it will take a return to that level of anger in the broader population.
The best we can hope for is that enough people who otherwise don’t seem to care – friends and family of those who fall prey to an early death or severe disability – will wise up when they see what happens to their friends and neighbors and how differently people live. There will be solid support for a Public Health Care system as soon as >50% of the public no longer has access to health care. In some sense, I am encouraged to recall that it was the same set of semi-privileged haves who lead the way in the 40s and 50s in building the political pressure and attitudes that gave us the “60s”.
The libertarian fundamentalists think such a collapse of access will drive costs down – it won’t – it will result in a political realignment. I continue to believe the same will happen with regard to women’s choice when the reality of the world under the radicals starts to become apparent. They will be the victims of their own successes.
@111 cvilletop,
Unfortunately, we will also be the victims of their own success.
And while it’s true that structural unemployment makes it easier to fire and hire, and makes quitting less common, hiring is expensive. Most likely, some new hiring will happen when it is the cheapest option, but in many other circumstances, the workforce will simply be less productive because it is sick more of the time.
I made my donation to Planned Parenthood in honor of the man trying to destroy it: Representative Mike Pence. He should be getting the acknowledgement letter in the mail any day now.
Here’s his address, in case you want to do the same:
Representative Mike Pence
100 Cannon HOB
Washington, DC 20515
@59 — I take birth control to treat poly cystic ovarian syndrome. I’m queer, I have never had sex with a man, and pregnancy is the least of my issues. I’m pretty sure PCOS (which, trust me, is an absolute bitch and a half to deal with unmedicated) is more of a health concern than erectile dysfunction.
Educate yourself. Birth control isn’t prescribed just as a contraceptive.
From Madison, WI. Thanks, Dan! I was beginning to think you had forgotten about us! We miss you and thank you for your support! Power to the People!
@114
Good point, cysts_are_icky. I have endometriosis, which causes cysts, pain (during sex and just in general) and if untreated, will make it difficult/impossible for me to have babies. My long-term care for this chronic condition? Birth control pills.
I think Dan’s advice to FEEBLE is fine – the key statement being “GGG demands a little something of both of you”. Good luck to both in negotiating GGG in future and for him to be thinking about it early in the relationship – because it will get worse! However, I don’t think labelling him is helpful.
I’m also feeling that he has (over)reacted to what perhaps he is sensing is a change in the NRE dynamic (in her), that he has not reached himself. But he should listen to his feelings about it & talk it over with her outside the moment – better now than when he’s trapped with kids.
Coupled with being told to masturbate (and we don’t know how that was done). Now I know that that so-helpful suggestion is a red-rag as far as I’m concerned, sounding much like an ideologically convenient fob-off: “Oh it’s fine to only have sex when I want it, because masturbation is a solution”. Yes, spookily enough I’m aware I can – I’ve probably done so more times in a year than some low-libido folks have had sexual thoughts in a lifetime, and do it terribly well. But it has very little to do with what I want from partnered sex, and is not in any way a “solution” to an extended mismatch in desire or a substitute for mutual GGG.
And yes #68, mediocre sex can be very good for a relationship, because it paves the way for spectacular loving sex when both are on the same page. Kids and life can cause you to reconsider the idealistic beliefs about what sex “should” be like that we inherit from the mags. For me, the fact that DW is GGG is fantastically meaningful because it implies that she is willing to lift a finger for what’s important (to me).
@105 Aurora: It’s really only a solution if you are otherwise closely matched sexually. Then, you both will be having sex sometimes to make the other one happy. I did this for an ex who also did not hesitate to do it for me, and it worked great, but if it’s always one partner having sex for the other, not so good.
BEWARE- MRS. ROBINSON LOOKS LIKE A FAKE, MEAN LETTER
This is to alert all of you that the Mrs. Robinson piece in this column seems fake, possibly in a very mean and calculated way.
At first I thought it’s nothing but a college dude who wants to get nude pics of his buddies so that he can post them, but the more I think about it I believe it is an attempt to smear an entire family here.
There are too many details here that may lead to the “suspects involved”. Twin daughters, remarry while they were four, they are now in college. And even the location. And all those questions about how hard it to find one a younger lover…. Come on, if she really is that attractive then younger men hit her all the time. And if she asks her friend to join her and her husband then asking strangers is even easier.
Possible suspects: The first wife, an angry neighbor, the twin girls getting back at their step mom, someone getting back at the twin girls telling them their father and step mom are fucking their classmates.
Another possibility is that Dan changed the family situation in order not to out the “real” one. In that case my guess is that it could be the son getting a hit from telling the “very attractive” step mom that if she only wants he will be there for her.
And if the details were indeed changed in order not to expose the real or imagined family then a huge disservice was done to families who may fit the fake description.
One way or the other- the lawyer was absolutely right!
@ 119 – Many, many details were changed. I just don’t think there are a bunch of families meeting the fake description – maybe I’m wrong, but I highly doubt there are. For the record, if you know a family that meets this description, they are not the Robinsons. I’m not sure why you’re so sure this is fake – other than your belief that a “very attractive” woman could have sex with anyone at any time (not true). Anyway, please email me and I’ll do what I can to reassure you that I am real and that Dan made sure I was real. j.e.robinson71@gmail.com
“I’m a 24-year-old…for the past six months…We have amazing sex…after a week of no sex…”
I’m guessing this was the first time this (meaning a whole week of disinterest) has happened between you two, which, given your age and your situation, might be a little alarming. It was a tiny bit unfair of Dan to characterize you as whining about having to wait 24 hours for awesome sex. You already had been waiting for a week, probably the first time in that relationship that things had gone that cool for that long.
That said, you didn’t handle it very gracefully. It’s possible that when you said “this was difficult for [you]”, that you meant that you were beginning to feel more than a little rejected, and wondering what had suddenly changed between you. But the way you put it in writing came across as if you thought you were owed something. You reinforced this idea with your next sentence. You may or my not not have said it that way to her, but you pretty clearly said it that way to Dan and all the commenters who have been raking you over the coals.
While Dan’s take on being giving with an assist is all to the good, I suspect that if you try to show this column to her next time this comes up, as if it were a referee call, it isn’t going to go over very well.
This will happen again. Life gets in the way sometimes. If you are feeling loved and accepted in other ways, don’t take a week off to mean the love is gone. That doesn’t count unless and until it starts happening with great regularity, or there are other signs she’s lost interest. And don’t go around feeling entitled. That is not going to make her feel anything but imposed on.
What is this “married olds” shit? 41 years old is NOT OLD!!!
CHANGED MY MIND, MRS ROBINSON IS INDEED REAL
Along with posting @119 I also emailed Dan to alert him of what I believed to be a malicious letter. I got his response shortly after assuring me he talked to the lady, family details were changed, and he even got her pictures proving she is indeed “very attractive”.
Then I saw posting #120, presumably written by the lady herself. I wrote her, she wrote back, and she even sent a picture to prove that she is indeed attractive. She’s gorgeous. And no, I’m not sharing because she threatened to sue me if I do. Besides, I promised her to delete that email and I already did.
She assured me that if she was in her 70’s now then she would have gladly do the hokey pokey with me some 30 years ago, but unfortunately has no interest in balding middle age guys like myself.
She likes them young, and I’m sure she will get them.
I wished her the best and am extremely envious at all the lucky dudes.
RE: FEEBLE.
Something I haven’t seen mentioned is whether the girlfriend thinks the sex has been, “amazing”.
I know I”m going to take flack for it, but we only have LW’s side of this.
In my experience, men with a new sex partner, especially after a dry period, want to fuck so often that even the most willing woman can find it becoming a chore, if not painful. She ends up glad for that one week a month she can beg off and not be sore every morning.
There are strong clues in what he says that the LW is a self-involved guy with a strong sense of sexual entitlement in the relationship. Those characteristics don’t tend to lend themselves to being good in bed – good for HER, that is.
Of course the woman should speak up on her own behalf, but I bet there are more women than men in new relationships who think GGG means fucking every time and only the ways HE wants it.
I think FEEBLE should set aside his obvious ego and ask the new girlfriend whether she’s been having as much fun as he has.
123 – *Them*? The original letter is singular throughout from beginning to end. She’s fantasized about being with a younger man and is looking for an encounter NSA; she and her husband had the threesome.
Does it matter? I’ve never been nonmonogamous and can’t really tell, but instinct suggests that something done at least with the original intent of its being One Time Only might well be beyond the boundaries of what might be acceptable as a Regular Feature.
But, whatever happens, I hope that, after the phase of this particular fantasy has played out, she and her husband both regard the time with increased insight and are pleased it occurred.
@120, Since you’re here (what a pleasant surprise), would you care to elaborate a little about how everyone felt after the threesome with your friend? I found it unusual that you didn’t mind your husband having sex with your friend. Did that incident give you some insight into how to avoid jealousy?
For once I have to agree with hunter (125). I leaped to the conclusion (100) that FEEBLE was hot and denied all week but he did indeed NOT make his case (or at least Dan didn’t have room to print that part). I also agree everyone has the right to say no one night- GGG be damned. But that means I get it every OTHER night, right?
@127, Sure, I’d be happy to elaborate. First off, over the years my friend has “jokingly” told me that if we ever needed a third, she’d be happy to oblige. So really, it was easy to ask her – it was more like taking her up on her standing offer. And I just don’t buy the idea that it’s harder to ask a stranger than a friend. I mean maybe you’re approaching strangers and asking for casual sex like it’s the most natural thing in the world, but for me asking a stranger is a lot more awkward than asking my friend. As for the idea that attractive women are hit on all the time, it’s just not true. Sure, I’ve had the occasional bag boy get a bit flustered, but we really didn’t want to do this in our (and our children’s) home town.
As for the jealously, it helps that we’ve been together for 15 years and moved really slow. It wasn’t in the column (or even in my original email to Dan), but we’ve been building up to the MFF threesome for years. We watched girl-on-girl porn; we incorporated MFF threesomes into our dirty talk; I flirted with women on the internet; I had phone sex with women; I had webcam sex with women; I got lap dances from strippers; we had soft MFF threesomes (oral and manual only and I didn’t do oral); and then finally, after 15 years, we had a full on MFF threesome. Everything up to that point had gone really well – my husband didn’t prefer these women to me, I had fun (even though I’m straight), it improved our sex life.
But honestly, if you’d have told me 15 years ago that I would do this, I would not have believed you. It was something we came to slowly and once we had a really solid foundation (our marriage is by no means been perfect, but in my opinion it is very good). In fact, we came to it so slowly that it just seemed like the obvious next step and I really didn’t have any concerns or reservations – we’d worked through all of those through the years. So have hope, married men. Move slow, be awesome every step of the way and you might be surprised where you end up.
Oh also, I had fooled around with my friend a couple of times in college. And we kind of had what I would call a soft MFF with her a few years ago after we’d all had a few drinks – it really wasn’t much more than the three of us making out a little in our hot tub and then my husband and I going to our room and having really great sex. So really, we were all fine after the fact. It just wasn’t an issue. I’m not jealous, we’re still friends and my friend didn’t get any ideas. But again, I attribute that to the slow build up and my husband proving that there is no need to be jealous. Had he blown it, there wouldn’t have been a threesome.
@126- While you do have a valid point I should mention that my “stamp of approval” @123 was first emailed to Mrs. R herself, and was only published after I got her “stamp of approval”. She even wrote that it’s “perfect”.
Glad I didn’t delete that email, only the previous one with the picture. I really did!
It’s true I said it was perfect. Although 126 is right, the current agreement is for a one time thing. Nothing more.
Mrs. Robinson, @129/130, can I just say, wow. You and your husband have a great attitude towards sex and marriage and life. Very inspiring!
Mrs Robinson (129/130), I’ll second your claim that “you never know where you’ll end ten years in the future”. Indeed you don’t, and one of the nicest things in life is precisely being able to build up the confidence necessary to do some of the things you dream about. Because they don’t come easy, even for men, and even if they’ve been fantasizing about that — you’re never prepared for the ‘full reality’ of everything (in real life, everything has shades, smells, angles and causes feelings that never occur in your fantasies). Going S-L-O-W-L-Y is always good advice for everybody involved, plus it gives you time to enjoy and savor all the little details of every stage — all the flavors and smells and touches — that you hadn’t realized would also be there (including the negative ones, which you can then learn to avoid).
What’s the hurry? Baby steps will take you where you want to go, too.
Just wanted to say thank you to those who recommended OK cupid…I have found someone who is in an open relationship and we’re having coffee.
OMG, mark this day down….I agree with both Professor and Hunter! I think FEEBLE was putting on too much pressure…24 hours is a fine window for still being GGG. There are sometimes (albiet rare) that I am simply not in the mood. And this includes all sexual activity, even lending a helping hand. If pressured, I feel obligated, and resentful. If being non-horny was a normal state for the ltter writer (or me), I would say, yeah, buck up and offer to help. But since its not, a “rain check” within 24 hours is certainly reasonable, and I would rather wait a DAY to have a willing partner, then an obligatory one.
And Mrs. Robinson…I prefer men my own age, as staed above, but KUDOS to you for knowing what you want, and going for it! Sounds like you guys have one hell of a sex life together. I don’t get jealous of watching my hubby with other women either, I think its actually pretty hot. Why should I be jealous, right? He pays my bills, and he is coming home with me at the end of the night! Plus, I am the one who taught him how to eat the kitty, lol!! So I kinda get a kick out of showing that off.
“For all the dudes whining abuot the “older women” hitting on them, and how gross crows feet and wrinkles are….BOYS, and I do mean BOYS, I assure you, you are missing out.”
You know she is insecure and full of shit, because she instantly denigrates the manhood of men who don’t want her.
138, no, not really….just implying they might need some life experience. I liked younger men when I was younger as well. Until I got older, and sampled the pleasures a more seasoned veteran in the sheets could give me. Now I prefer guys my own age. Funny how that works.
But thanks for the insult though! Speaking of insecurities…
I think that Dan is being a bit of a prankster here. I do not think that he would go against his lawyers advice, and rish a huge and costly law suit. I’d be willing to bet that this is a set up for future columns and perhaps an article.
To those of you responding to that email addy, Think twice, as you might find yourself in the Stranger!!
@134 Thank you so much. We’ve been really touched by all of the positive response.
@ 140, please see 120 and feel free to email me. j.e.robinson71@gmail.com
FEEBLE has NO clue about intimacy (a general good requirement in an actual dating/live-in/LTR.) Wah, poor him, it was “difficult” for him? I wonder how difficult it is for her to live with a guy whose definition of GGG is the 24/7 expectation that she service him, regardless of fatigue. He might want to be grateful she ‘put out’ at all, with that shitty attitude. I predict a long bitter life of singledom and little pleasurable sex for him.
I also love it when staunch conservies get their manpanties wadded if their Viagra might be at-risk. Apparently, many men don’t know [that] they can get good-quality condoms and dental dams at PP (hell, so many men in Dallas don’t know what those are…are they in that 50% of men who are HPV-infected?) They also have no clue that PP might one day be providing their own health care (when their pensions get ransacked by their former employers, for instance), providing them with exams and cancer screenings, in addition to diabetes screenings…you know, all those medical check ups they need in order to even get their keepitup pills in the first place.
And yes, sex over 40 is fucking amazing, mainly because men my age who don’t give a shit about esoteric bullshit are abundant. The odds of finding a younger guy who doesn’t want (a)stereotypical Barbie or (b)a notch on his belt buckle in the “bag a Cougar” contest, are slim. I’m sure younger dudes exist who simply want a true NSA for the sake of having one (or plenty), but that’s a rarity.
Dan, I just wanted to thank you for posting that link for Planned Parenthood donation. I live in the UK, and when I was 17 I got pregnant through my own stupidity, I was lucky enough that our own NHS was there to help me out and pick up the pieces.
Again, when I had a miscarriage aged 22, as a result of a rare condition, they were there to help, and give me follow up care. All this just comes out of the National Insurance I pay – other than that it didn’t cost me a penny.
If I go back on the pill, they’ll provide that for me for free again.
It makes me mad that I and everyone else has this easy access to care in our country (even though it’s far from perfect at times!), but that the US Senate wants to take any help at all away from women desperately in need. As I’m not a US citizen I can’t easily make my voice heard, but being able to donate means that I feel like a done something, which has helped ease the ball of anger a little!
Dan, I just wanted to thank you for posting that link for Planned Parenthood donation. I live in the UK, and when I was 17 I got pregnant through my own stupidity, I was lucky enough that our own NHS was there to help me out and pick up the pieces.
Again, when I had a miscarriage aged 22, as a result of a rare condition, they were there to help, and give me follow up care. All this just comes out of the National Insurance I pay – other than that it didn’t cost me a penny.
If I go back on the pill, they’ll provide that for me for free again.
It makes me mad that I and everyone else has this easy access to care in our country (even though it’s far from perfect at times!), but that the US Senate wants to take any help at all away from women desperately in need. As I’m not a US citizen I can’t easily make my voice heard, but being able to donate means that I feel like a done something, which has helped ease the ball of anger a little!
Regarding benjamin – have at it – I had me a young one – if it’s sex they are usually willing. And what they lack in expertise they usually make up for in enthusiasm.
As far as Planned Parenthood – when are those A##H****s gonna let women control their own bodies. As a vetern of Women’s Liberation of the 70’s – why are we still having to fight this fight!!
I support Planned Parenthood and am extremely pro-choice, and I wish that bill had not been enacted. But I have to point out that saying “my body, my choice” leaves out a crucial bit: “my body, my choice, their money.”
There’s a huge problem with the cost of medical care in this country, and the federal government is not the only body responsible. It’s a very expensive, intricate dance between insurance companies and medical providers. The fact that health care providers are allowed to bill on two tiers: an astronomical one to insurance companies (keeping insurance rates high), and a lower tier for people without insurance.
147/Rach3l…You’re correct that health care has descended into a corporate cluster fuck in the USA, but you’re wrong on other counts.
It isn’t “their money”. Its your money because its your government. The biggest lie the right wingers have told is that government isn’t of the people. This isn’t some libertarian wet dream. You and I still get a say in spending not because we pay taxes, but because we’re citizens.
And, in the end, we/our government is the only one responsible. Insurance companies and medical providers do everything they can to abdicate responsibility. The government is the only thing keeping them in check. Sure we/our government is doing a piss-poor job of keeping them in check, but no one else ever will.
To Mrs R,
I will take you at your word, and will not email you. I’m old enough to be your dad, and my wife, of 38 years, well, lets just say she is not as “liberated” as you and your hubby are. Good luck to you!
@145: The US Senate doesn’t want to take the help away; it’s the US House of Representatives. In case you’re not up on the nuances of American politics, the House is currently crazy right-wing but the Senate isn’t, and both houses need to pass a bill, so there’s no way in the world this bill will ever pass. It’s political theater.
If I were in am exclusive relationship and I went an entire week without PIV sex, without a good reason, I think I would end the relationship. This has never happened to me and it would suggest to me a serious problem. Is this really normal for some people?
Getting turned down over and over seven days in a row does not seem like a healthy relationship: something’s wrong there. She’s either not attracted to him or they have severely mismatched sex drives.
Feel free to call me names and insult me, as many of the comments did to FEEBLE for being the high-sex-drive partner, but do people really just deal with this kind of sexual rejection in a relationship? It’s supposed to be normal?
@1154: True, the text is ambiguous. We don’t know what actually happened and it’s a little better if she didn’t decline him for the previous seven days (though I would still be worried and upset if my partner didn’t want sex right away after a week apart).
But if she did decline him for the previous week, this is hardly a routine denial-of-services situation: how many of those are described as dating an amazing GGG girl and having amazing sex? To me, that’s the interesting part.
@143 (mamatat), it seems to me you didn’t really read FEEBLE’s letter; he is implying almost none of the assumptions you so richly make about their life together. Hunter, the Prof and badgirl are right that he didn’t make a case (no long-term denial implied), but neither has he claimed that he ‘always want to be serviced 24/7’. That’s your assumption, as likely to be wrong as right.
Even worse than conservatives who worry about Viagra prescriptions are people who project their worst-case scenario on other people’s plea for help. Those who are so trigger-happy they see bad people doing bad things to others everywhere.
Life is not that simple.