Kirk Mason developed his line of Scout briefs for “fat and hairy men—the guys who are physically ordinary, and perfectly sexy.” (The best kind.) The industry standard is to model underwear patterns to a lean figure and then scale to encompass a range of sizes, but this method doesn’t accommodate full-size bodies—which, with added weight, change shape in their own distinct and marvelous ways. Consider a tummy, for instance—one that’s plump and rounded, and maybe even shakes around occasionally, like a bowl full of jelly. Its relationship with a waistband has always been unhappy: Standard underpants are cut straight across the waist, forcing the wearer to sling his briefs below the swell of his hanging belly. This wrecks the fit, and the results are specific and unsavory: saggy crotch and plumber’s crack. To mitigate these problems, Mason’s specially curved waistline dips low in the front and swoops up in the back.

Mason’s background is in industrial design, and it took him a year to develop the patterns, using trillions of prototypes and stumbling into fascinating realizations all the while. Believing it “silly and primitive,” he wanted to remove the front fly opening because no one ever uses the access it provides—not even for variety. But the main purpose of the fly is wildly functional, it turns out: It’s actually more of a fitting tool, built to adapt to a range of men and all their differences—what with the meat wadded in a delightfully vast range of sizes and forms, and barreling out at unexpected angles.

The name Scout suggests a theme—Boy Scouts, preparedness—and Mason outfitted his underpants with coin pockets. (They rest at the side, just below the waistband.) With this small gesture, the private garment suddenly becomes something more—self-­contained and easily stocked with the important supplies one needs to move through the world. The pockets are sized “for a small flip phone and cash,” he says, “but you can carry anything you want. Drugs and condoms. Glitter, even.” Other design details include an inventive placement of the care and fabric-content information—it’s stamped on the inside crotch, presenting a nice option for those who are bored and partially disrobed. Strips of reflective tape trace the outside seams and embed the waistband in a glitzy flash, and the briefs come in heather gray or vivid orange—a color that calls upon safety vests and road signs, and more distantly the crew of men laboring sexily among them. Scout underwear is machine washable, retails for about $40, and comes sealed in Mylar bags, just like ready-to-eat meals. The line also includes a collection of matching tank tops. If you’d like Kirk Mason to make you something, e-mail him: kbm1708@yahoo.com. recommended

Attention, makers of fashion and workers of garmentry: Let me know what you’re working on at mjonjak@thestranger.com.

Marti Jonjak—The Stranger’s fashion columnist—has a technical degree in apparel design and works in the garment industry. Her treasured casual-wear aesthetic is both glamorous and trashy, suggesting...

35 replies on “Worn Out”

  3. Agreed, I’d prefer to go commando myself then pay that much for trendy undies, especially after losing mine at 12th and Thomas 🙂
    But I do like the thought behind this redesign, love the condom pocket idea.

  4. Kirk Mason developed his line of Scout briefs for “fat and hairy men—the guys who are physically ordinary, and perfectly sexy.”

    What exactly are the specific underwear needs of hairy men? Are his creations unsuitable for fat, unhairy men?

    Maybe his point is that most guys aren’t built like underwear models, who are mostly smooth (or shaved.) It’s too bad, though, that large men don’t have choices other than either ill-fitting ready-to-wear or custom-tailored for $40 a pair.

  5. Custom tailored clothing is never cheap so please quit whining about the price. If you can’t afford it go buy a 6-pack of Jockey shorts at Target.

  7. Yeah! PICTURES! (I was the underwear model for one of the series of advertising photos and I think a label? Highly photoshopped to show off the curves…)
    I have a pair. They fit right. It’s like that. If you wouldn’t buy a custom fitted shirt or slacks, then you wouldn’t buy custom fitted underwear. I would, and I do. It’s OK if you’re not the target audience.
    “it’s too bad though…” It takes people who are willing to push the industry into new directions to make what you’ve mentioned come true. But if no one buys them, well, a great idea dies on the vine.

    Want hot looking underwear that fit right? Want to support local business? Never been correctly sized for underwear? Or anything? Get in touch with Kirk. You’ll get more than your $40 worth of orange underwear.

    (My name is Gryphon MacThoy. Yes, I’m a friend. No I wouldn’t bother writing anything if it weren’t true.)

  12. For all you straight men, here’s how being a gay man works- whereas you have 2 types of underwear (regular & laundry day) gay men have 3 types- regular,laundry day, and expensive sexy underwear that only comes out for special occasions when you’ll be seen in public wearing it and little else (which happens a lot). This underwear is clearly in the third category, and not for everyday wear.

    …and now you know!

  14. I dated a guy once who liked to use the fly. He was only allowed to use it when I was wearing my cheap, old, worn-out underwear, since it always led to ripping the whole thing off. If he’d tried it with a forty-dollar pair of anything, he’d better have been prepared to follow it up with something great.

    It occurs to me now he reads Slog, so, um. Hi.

  15. I like these dacks, and good article. Shame about the $40 price tag. This designer just needs a mass production contract so the price can come down.

  16. I tried to search for a website or any other mention of these undies online… but only found links to this article. I’d like to buy my girlfriend these. I’m surprised to hear that some guys don’t use the fly (what do you do??), but guess what… androgynous women do not. These sound perfect.

  18. These sound great. I never use the Y fly in front because it takes too much time to pull my junk thru it when all I want to do is pee-pee. Plus half the time it’s a pair that is sewed shut! To answer post #16’s question: you just pull the elastic down and hold it below your junk while you pee.
    I am an average guy, but I have a small tummy and a bubble butt. I think these would be great and look comfortable. I also couldn’t find them online anywhere. Are they made “on the fly”??

  19. I never could figure out what the fly is for until Kirk told me it’s for fit and flexibility. Never used it to pee through. Still don’t.
    #12 above got it right.
    #9 got it totally wrong.
    #18 – Kirk’s email address is at the bottom of the article.
    #15 – No mass production, yet. If it’s ‘just’ that easy, help a dude out.

  20. @12 –

    I think you’re being generous with a lot of straight men’s sensibilities. I have one type of underwear: the underwear that comes next in whatever order I happened to fold it and put it in my dresser.

  21. The whole time I read the article I was thinking that christian zealot Kirk Cameron was responsible for these high end underwear…..it figures I thought, IT FIGURES!!!!
    Then I figured out I had the names mixed up and the article just wasn’t the same. They were cooler when I thought they were manufactured be a high end christian perv.

  22. A lot of bras cost around $40 (and they’re not custom-made), so quit whining, men. I personally would love it if more straight men made a bit more of an effort on this front; since so many of them seem to enjoy lingerie on women, you’d think they’d get it.

  23. Dear Number 22,

    You are exactly correct. I love you for understanding what I am trying to do – get men to stop being such lazy slags. Especially the fat hairy/unhairy ones. Everyone deserves to feel sexy.

    Dear Haters,

    Just so you all hear it directly from me – yes, $40 is not cheap. I am not looking to reach the Wal-Mart priced customer. I make them with my own hands, not in a sweat shop. It takes time to make anything and I deserve to be paid a living wage. If you don’t like it – don’t buy it.

    Thank you all for reading!

    xoxoxox
    Kirk Mason

  24. Dear Number 22,

    You are exactly correct. I love you for understanding what I am trying to do – get men to stop being such lazy slags. Especially the fat hairy/unhairy ones. Everyone deserves to feel sexy.

    Dear Haters,

    Just so you all hear it directly from me – yes, $40 is not cheap. I am not looking to reach the Wal-Mart priced customer. I make them with my own hands, not in a sweat shop. It takes time to make anything and I deserve to be paid a living wage. If you don’t like it – don’t buy it.

    Thank you all for reading!

    xoxoxox
    Kirk Mason

  25. This is a terrific idea. Nice to see someone taking a unique (and practical!) idea and making it their passion.

    And, I hate the stupid fly on cheap underwear. Why would I choke my pecker when trying to piss?

  27. I am so delighted to learn of Kirk’s existence and that of his line of undies. I love to find sexy and unique briefs for my man – and they are really, really, really hard to find.

    For those complaining about price – you’d see that same tag on a pair of higher-end ‘designer’ briefs that have been manufactured en masse for cents on the dollar in miserable southeast asian or caribbean sweat shops. I’d venture that Scouts gives you much more bang for your buck, and at a much lower social/environmental cost.

    I’d love to see the concept expanded upon. My favorite find brief-wise was in a little boutique in argentina – incredible one-of-a-kind modal briefs in a colorful masculine print AND contrasting fabric on the inside. Swoon. I have spent years trying to find similarly creative underoos. Scouts come the closest by a long shot.

    Clearly I think way too much about undergarments.

  29. Grrr, yeah, I want the phone number of your underwear mod…oh, wait, never mind. On a serious note, I have several pairs of Kirk’s underwear, and find them both stylish and comfortable.

  30. I dunno, forty bucks for handmade, well-designed skivvies seems like a damn good price to me.

    But then again, I’m a woman and routinely pay the same for bras. So quit bellyaching, men. Think of it as doing your part for economic equity.

  33. I love the fact that these are out there. The model kind of looks like me from that angle, and knowing I didn’t have to worry about plumber’s crack would make simple activities like tightening my shoelaces in public a lot less stressful…

  34. I am very excited to hear about these as there are birthdays on the horizon, and it would be fun to be able to give some sexy undies as gifts this year.

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