In the weeks since the release of my newest movie, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, I have been disturbed by the many Facebook messages I’m receiving asking why I am so “v” Batman. This makes no sense, people keep saying. He is a fellow superhero. Why is it necessary for me to be “v” him? Actually, I have several reasons why I’m “v” Batman.
Reason one: Friends don’t backstab friends. Every Tuesday, I have lunch with Martian Manhunter. We go to Chipotle. Batman knows this, and yet every Tuesday morning he calls up Martian Manhunter with one emergency or another. Like “Oh! Gorilla Grodd is destroying Gotham’s art museum” or “Oh! I’m taking the Batmobile into the shop, can you give me a ride home?” BATMAN HAS AT LEAST FOUR OTHER METHODS OF TRANSPORTATION AND A BUTLER. He doesn’t need Martian Manhunter’s help…