Hi. I’m Francine Colman-Gutierrez. You say you like pot? Here are some things you are wrong about:
“My clothes and hair don’t smell that bad”: You’re wrong about that, they smell infinitely worse.
Sativa versus indica: There’s absolutely no fucking difference, and you’re wrong to think so.
The munchies: Umm-hmm, like you don’t ALWAYS want snacks.
“Pot shops are happy to answer my questions”: Nobody likes answering your questions.
“Weed makes me too paranoid”: Wrong. Weed makes you just paranoid enough.
Hemp: Pot is legal now, so let’s stop pretending hemp has an actual purpose.
Pot brownies: Hey, great job ruining some perfectly good brownies…