Listen—I know your plight.
I’ve defended you to my friends and coworkers for years. I’ve made the case that you work for righteous causes, that organizations like Planned Parenthood and the ACLU need to scrap for money however they can, that the urbanites who resent you striking up conversations in public (gasp!) would be the first to panic if the organizations you’re working for were to shut down for lack of funds.
But I can’t defend you anymore. You guys are like kudzu: everywhere, aggressive, invasive.
There are swarms of you nowadays—not just a sprinkle in front of Nordstrom like in the old days—but packs of you roaming downtown sidewalks, in neighborhoods at every major intersection, outside every damn grocery store. Your vests change depending on the charity of the day and there’s a different stack of paperwork on your clipboard, but your tactics are constant. “Do you have a second for the environment?” you ask in a friendly lilt. But then you don’t take no for an answer, you stalk people as they walk, you hector them from down the block, you become petulant if we don’t stop.
To be honest, I do have a second for the environment. I give money and time to Environment Washington—and to Planned Parenthood, PIRG, the DNC, and the ACLU. And I used to be a door-to-door canvasser myself. But the scores of mercenary canvassers—the ones who work for firms that simply switch uniforms to suit the charity of the day (red vests for the children, blue vests for the whales, green vests for MY MONEY)—who hassle me on the street aren’t getting another penny from me. So, actually, I do have a second for the environment; I just don’t have a second for you.
I don’t mean to be rude. You’re just doing your job. But there’s a reason you’re dubbed “chuggers” (charity muggers): Your increasing aggressiveness feels predatory. No means no—so stop asking. And to the folks at the charitable organizations that hire these canvassers: This fundraising tactic, the relentless street harassment, is now a liability to your own cause.
I’m done. And now when you approach me, street canvassers, I’m going to hand you a card.
Based on a similar card in Portland, it will explain why I’m not talking to you. We went ahead and made a .pdf of the cards so you could print them out at home (and we printed them in every copy of The Stranger) so folks can cut them out, carry them in their wallet or bag, and hand them to you. We mean well. And you do, too. But we’ve had it, street canvassers. Just stop. 
All the ones that hang out in front of Whole Foods on Westlake have been pretty non-aggressive so far. Let’s hope it stays that way.
I’ve found that a simple “no thanks” usually works. If it doesn’t the subsequent “get the fuck away from before I hit you in the fucking face” does the trick.
The thing is, if you give money to them, yes, only 10% goes to the charity. But the other 90% goes into the paycheck of the canvasser, or the company they work for. This money is spent on education, housing, food, clothing, transportation and other vital living expenses for the worker or the company’s other employees and owners. Maybe that’s not the absolute best thing to do with your spare change, but it’s not harmful.
On the other hand, when you give money to addicts and crazies on the street, 100% of that goes to buy booze and drugs. It perpetuates substance abuse, crime, and violence. You’re literally helping to kill the person you’re giving money to.
But childish middle class suburbanites like Dominic Holden, angry because their parents were too ordinary I guess, think giving money to somebody with a job is uncool. Productive members of society are all “tools of The Man”. Or some hippie bullshit.
Ah! But if they smell like piss and are hell bent on destroying themselves! That’s cool! It’s like some William S. Burroughs type shit there, brah!
Dominic is dead on…particularly on Capitol Hill. I feel like wearing a badge when I walk down Broadway that says “I gave at the office” but I don’t think that would dissuade them.
How about just saying “sorry” instead of handing them a righteous little card?
@3 “On the other hand, when you give money to addicts and crazies on the street, 100% of that goes to buy booze and drugs. It perpetuates substance abuse, crime, and violence. You’re literally helping to kill the person you’re giving money to.”
That’s why I never give money to panhandlers.
I always give them booze or drugs… AMERICAN owned and manufactured booze and drugs.
No one wants to perpetuate foreigners and their unAMERICAN activities, and I feel good knowing that the poor, desperate person I am supplying up, won’t accidentally be sending our money and jobs overseas, supporting their habit.
I feel good about stimulating our economy and doing my part to make the often rough life of various street people more comfortable.
@3 Sorry if I donate to charity, I actually want to DONATE to that charity. It isn’t ‘hippie bullshit,’ it’s called common sense. It completely defeats the purpose when 90% on my donation goes towards someone’s salary. That sort of business model is inefficient and potentially unethical for charities to follow. There are better ways to raise money.
I think the cards are brilliant, and I can’t wait to use them at the Broadway QFC. Those canvassers have the doors completely surrounded from sunup to sundown. Sometimes I just want to break into a sprint to get past them.
Somehow I think the fact the Dom gets all worked up about saying no says more about him than it does about the canvassers.
Seriously, passing out cards like that makes you a grade-A douche crouton. Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person.
This is a consequence of neo-Liberal economic policies and the ceding of government functions to NGOs. If our government isn’t doing charity/welfare/social safety net programs, they become a business. The cards aren’t going to have an impact; only structural changes are going to do much of anything.
@3: Actually, plenty of the money you give to non-corporate beggars goes to food, housing, clothing, etc. There’s an easy test: offer the person the thing they claim to want directly. If someone asks you for food money, offer to buy them a sandwich. If someone asks you for bus faire, offer them one of the bus tickets you carry around for just such a contingency. In my experience, about half the people asking for money really need it for food or travel.
@3, good argument if the canvassers are saying, “Do you have a second to spread capital throughout the local markets and offer employment support to me?” But they are not. And not only is your argument amazingly bad, you’re kind of a dick about it.
@9: if they ask me to save the whales, should I give them a whale? What about civil liberties? What the hell are you trying to say?
Yeesh. I’m with you. The only people I hate more than street canvassers are meter maids.
@3, you say “the other 90% goes into the paycheck of the canvasser” as if that’s a GOOD thing. In other words, they’re panhandling — only panhandlers get to keep more of the money I give them.
I still don’t see what’s wrong with a muttered “fuck off” as you brush past them. They deserve neither respect nor pity.
the proper response to both bums & canvassers is a smiling “not today”, with direct eye contact and moving legs.
These Passive-Agressive Confrontation Cards(tm) are pretty douchey. I have no problem saying “No” or “I hate trees” or “Nancy Reagan told me pot is bad” or just ignoring them.
It’s not like these people accost you, tie you to a lamppost go through your pockets.
Passing them a card feels…snobby. Bourgeois. Douchey.
Their subcontracted interest in the cause goes as far as me giving them my check or credit card number.
Every single one I’ve asked about getting materials from or a call from someone else higher up in the organization has rejected the request. They don’t care about getting money, they care about getting their cut, right then.
Fuck ’em.
@3: “This money is spent on education, housing, food, clothing, transportation and other vital living expenses for the worker or the company’s other employees and owners.”
Yes, all wasteful and unnecessary overhead. This is an outdated business model and needs to be stopped. I’m paying for a cause, and I intend for 100% of it to go to ACTUAL EMPLOYEES, not 92% of it to go to people who train chuggers, who get a small percentage of that still.
On the other hand, if “fuck you” is too strong for you, I support the idea of handing out these cards — only print them as displayed, the size of postage stamps.
@10, you misunderstand the point @9 is trying to make. Note the phrase, “non-corporate panhandlers,” which is to say, bums. They are talking specifically about homeless folks asking for a handout. Those aren’t the kind of folks asking if you have a minute for civil liberties. And, he’s entirely right. I often carry extra snacks for those with “need $ for food” signs. If they refuse the food, they get nothing.
I’m surprised at how coherent your response to @3 was, and yet you somehow completely missed @9’s point.
@12
What part of “Maybe that’s not the absolute best thing to do with your spare change, but it’s not harmful” did you not understand? I’ll say it for a third time because a lot of people are being dense here: Maybe that’s not the absolute best thing to do with your spare change, but it’s not harmful.
It’s incorrect to say the panhandler gets to keep the money you give them. Their dealer keeps it. Or the fortified liquor industry keeps it. Panhandler is only holding on to it long enough to walk a half a block to where they can get high. Which is harmful.
The chuggers don’t do anything harmful with the money. It’s a big difference.
In the 1940s, Pepsi adopted a red, white, and blue logo to support America’s war effort. In the late 70’s, Woody Allen adopted a Korean girl to get a date. These days, I’d like to adopt absolutely no one. So how come whenever I go downtown or to the University District, I’m being asked to save the unwanted children?
You’ve seen these clowns: they wear matching shirts, carry matching binders, and congregate in a small area. You can’t just ignore/say no to one of these people, you have to do it to THREE of them. They have yet to master the art of camoflage and/or subterfuge. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then I think we can legally straitjacket the third member of the team who witnesses me brushing off their two compatriots. Hey, last in line: You’re not special. That’s why you’re a third-party panhandler.
Last week I’m doing my usual good job of avoiding the hell out of these mercenary do-gooders when the 19 year old guy on annoyance duty said to me: “I like your sweater. It reminds me of ‘The Brave Little Toaster.'”
OK, seriously, who says that to another human being in an attempt to start a conversation? Luckily, I ended it fast: “That’s the worst pick-up line anyone has ever used on me.” For some reason, he continued to try to talk to me but it was hard to make out what he was saying with all of the walking away from him I was doing.
Here’s a life lesson for those of you donning the red jacket or the blue t-shirt or whatever stupid color is coming next: We, as Americans, love children. I don’t, but other Americans do. But – and here’s the key, so lean in close and write this down – only the ones we make ourselves, like little your cretin seed Tyler Jr or my insufferable niece Brandy. But those little brown children covered in flies sitting in mud puddles playing with medical waste? Unless your last name is Jolie or you’re the aformentioned Mr. Allen, not a chance. And even if we did, we’re still climbing out of this recession. I should be out there with a clipboard and a jacket collecting money for me – I have mock turtlenecks to buy.
At least the job has a turnover rate matched only by street level drug dealers and whoever Steve Raible has to pay for an under-the-table handjob.
(I originally posted this on Yelp, but it deserves a reposting here.)
@18 How do you know those assholes at Westlake don’t go straight from cashing their paychecks to bars or drug dealers?
i appreciate the fact that it seems they only hire pretty hottie hotties, though. maybe if they were nakeder, they’d make money? (hee…”maybe”.)
I support all of the chuggers’ causes. I do not support the chuggers. Better, far better, to donate directly to your charities of choice. If you’re a wimp, hand out the token. If you’re an adult, say “no” and keep moving. Because they seem human they do deserve slightly more respect than a piece of junk mail or spam.
@3, the “other 90%” does NOT go into the paycheck of the canvasser. Understand that the companies that many of these canvassers – the intermediaries, or middlemen, if you will – are typically FOR profit groups. So maybe 10% goes to the charity, and maybe another small percentage goes to that chugger that you’d cross the street to avoid, but this is most definitely capitalism getting in the way of charity.
@13 That’s what I do too, and most of the time it works like a charm.
@18, harmful to whom? Why is it your business what people do with the money they make? How is a panhandler buying a sandwich harmful while a canvasser buying a sandwich is somehow saving the world?
Neither one of them is adding any value to the world. Of course, the canvassers are 100% white and middle class, so that’s all right then. They don’t need to work. They just deserve our money for existing.
@24, exactly. These canvassers ARE committing harm, because they’re taking money that is intended for someone else — the charities.
@19,
Soon-Yi’s adoptive parents are Mia Farrow and Andre Previn.
@24, another harm: how many people refuse to give to, say, Planned Parenthood or World Wildlife Fund or whomever because they’re sick of being harassed on the street and associate the charity with the canvassers? Considering how tiny the amount of canvassed money that goes to the charity is, it wouldn’t surprise me if they turned out to be a net negative on donations.
I think the current tactics of canvassers has become incredibly counter productive. Up until recently, I’d at least talk to someone, but if I’m going to give money I’ll give it directly to an organization. However, things have become so saturated up in my neighborhood (Capitol Hill) that I get pestered more for my “time” than my “money”. I’ve actually taken to avoiding Broadway while out on a walk because of the ridiculous amount of canvassers on every corner and at all places in between. Is it just me, or has that job become the new telemarketer?
“Based on a similar card in Portland” isn’t much of a citation.
Especially since you copped the design and much of the wording it might be nice to cite the source 😉
Just click the first link after googling: wkstudio+canvasser
I hope the tide ebbs on this. For now, charities are going full-out on this simply because it still works for their bottom line compared to other fundraising methods, even factoring in payments to the canvassing companies. Once this stops working for them they’ll drop it from their fundraising strategies quick enough.
http://www.charityfacts.org/fundraising/…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_fund…
28: Getting to third base trumps adoption any day of the week, or so my Uncle Jerry always said.
@18: “It’s incorrect to say the panhandler gets to keep the money you give them. Their dealer keeps it. Or the fortified liquor industry keeps it. Panhandler is only holding on to it long enough to walk a half a block to where they can get high. Which is harmful.
The chuggers don’t do anything harmful with the money. It’s a big difference.”
Chuggers don’t spend their money on liquor and pot? Bullshit.
Alright. I think I have some insight into this. Because this is a job I’ve briefly held. I have, in fact, been “that guy.”
It’s a shitty job. I wasn’t too good at it and consequently lasted about a week. I don’t blame anyone for not talking to canvassers, especially if you pass them every day. But a self-righteous little card? Seriously? Most of these folks are already having a bad day. Just walk by.
A card like this isn’t going to change the fundraising policies of anyone; it’s simply a way to feel smug.
Being Assertive is not something Western Washingtonians seem to be good at.
It’s not hard to avoid chuggers. When they ask, say no. Not, “maybe…” Not “well…” Whatever you do, don’t raise an eyebrow.
Just look em right in the eye and say:
“I don’t have any money for your organization.”
“I don’t want to talk to you” also works well.
Or my favorite – when they make eye contact, keep your eyebrows lowered, raise either index finger, and wag it back and forth.
If you can’t do these things, perhaps being mobbed by chuggers is the universe’s way of teaching you to be more assertive.
It’s a free country, even for chuggers – any rule restraining speech inevitably creates a risk of abuse. I bet a lot of politicians would like rules banning pesky, invasive reporters from courthouse and legislature steps.
I feel like canvassers have gotten less obnoxious in recent years, and I walk past them every day in Berkeley. Perhaps its just because I’m older and wiser and I don’t have “mark” written on my forehead anymore so they don’t bother. But I don’t support any form of business that’s based on the sucker model.
Holden is a scaredy cat and can’t deal with the big adults.
I read up until #18, and then got disillusioned up with the ratio of moral certainty to personal experience in this thread.
None of those comments mentioned having any direct experience either working as a street canvasser or panhandling. If that’s true, a lot of you (with a few gracious exceptions: thanks #9, #35, et al) are drawing sweeping generalisations about things you don’t know much about.
The cliche about walking a mile in another person’s shoes applies here. (In case someone asks, I do indeed have personal experience with both canvassing and panhandling. I don’t think that makes me qualified to make generalisations either.)
I would also point out that there are multiple third-party organizations that employ people to stump for charities. I can only speak to my experience, but I was explicitly told not to get in people’s way, follow, harass or do anything save ask people if they had a second. Apparently a couple of the other companies encourage their folks to take a really aggressive tactic.
We were told– as a matter of policy– not to be overaggressive, use guilt, etc. Obviously, every canvasser had their own methods (“hey! I like your shirt!”) but that’s to be expected. If you were seen harassing, yelling, blocking, following, you got in trouble.
Furthermore, at least where I worked, we weren’t paid on commission; we were paid hourly. The charities hire the company to stump for them. The donations people sign up for go something like 92 cents on the dollar directly to Red Cross/Planned Parenthood/Save the Children/___. How it breaks down beyond that, I wasn’t around long enough to find out.
I’m handing these out to the next Girl Scout troop loitering with their damn cookies when I’m trying to get in & out of a supermarket.
@26
It’s my business because the chuggers and the street crazies are both asking me for my money. Isn’t that the whole point of Dominic’s little game here? To say that one kind of street solicitor deserves your money and another kind doesn’t? Because of where the money goes?
And this on top of the prior crusade present company carried out to protect the right of people who smell bad to harass you on the sidewalk.
I simply don’t get how if they smell bad they should be allowed to harangue you for money with impunity but if they shit indoors and shower every morning then Something Must Be Done. The only explanation I have for the double standard is that one is “anarchy” (silly urban hipster “anarchy” I mean) and the other is square.
I’d ban all panhandling if I could. But if any kind should be tolerated it’s the non-mentally ill, drug-and-alcohol free kind kind.
I’ve had people plugging certain political causes follow me down the street even after I’ve told them I’m Canadian.
Them: Do you support health care for everyone?
Me: Yeah, but I’m Canadian, so … (walking away)
Them: What?! You’re just saying that! (following me)
Me: No, I’m not, I’m really Canadian.
Them: Well, can’t you still vote here?
Me: No. I’m not a citizen. Don’t you know your own rules?
Them: Well, can’t you just —
Me: Fuck off!
I’d like to take a moment and grind my axe for a moment on the biggest dipshit out there with a clipboard. Yup, I’m talking to you Shay. You 6′ tall read bearded, beanie wearing fucktard. How ’bout you size me up from a half block out again, continuing to dance back and forth across the sidewalk like I’m going to try and score a goal for commuting Seattlites while you protect some invisible net for Children International … brah.
I’ve been kind and said “no” like the naive folks here think will work. I’ve had rational conversations with you explaining that you’re in fact violating section 4 of Seattle Municipal Code 12A.12.015 and that your tactics are piss-poor, short sighted, and are enraging our city. I’ve changed my commute to avoid you and your clipboard toting guilt guild only to see you on entirely new blocks. I’ve told you to fuck off a dozen times. I’ve told your friends to do the same. I’ve stood 6″ from you and told you to try and remember my face … you see it almost every day so it can’t be that hard … and no my name’s not Sam, despite introducing myself to you three times now. I’ve written to your shitty organization, Dialoge Direct, and a host of charities who employ you (as well as loads who don’t) to call out your “shake my hand brah, just shake my hand” antics. I could give half a fuck that your organization raised $91M last year, because you’re doing it at the expense of others who are trying to do good in their own world and are left with an awful taste in their mouth heading home from work.
Shay, you’re an asshole and a blight on our city. The only way that I’d ever give to your organization, and by your organization I mean Children International, ever again is if I received a personal letter saying that they fired you and the rest of Dialogue Direct for misrepresenting them, for jumping in front of thousands of people daily like some coked up hippie with a hard-on for shaking hands and manipulating people with decent souls. You are the Moby Dick of dipshits in the Westlake “gauntlet” … the Molly Moon’s Planned Parenthood folks are minnows compared to you and the rest of your company.
Feel proud for your notoriety for a moment, after all, you personally got a shout out in the comments on The Stranger from someone who loathes seeing you every day! You’ve made a difference in lives! Childish of me to solo out this one chugger from all of his peers? Maybe, but so is being an absolute douche for your job by pissing off the city that feeds you. Passive aggressive? Gotta go with no there since I’ve told you directly to fuck off numerous times, Shay. Think of this a a PSA for other commuters who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you.
With that I raise a glass to you Shay. Rain or shine, sleet or piles of hobo shit, you’re out there 5 days a week … sometimes more … standing up for your 1st Amendment right to speak your mind as an asshole cloaked in a charity vest with a clipboard. Here’s to livin’ the dream, sir. See ya tomorrow Shay, and no, I won’t shake your hand, brah.
@13 has it. “No thanks,” “sorry man,” something along those lines, nothing more, don’t break stride, don’t make eye contact, don’t answer further questions. It’s not naive, it works for almost any street situation, you just have to remember that protecting a stranger’s high opinion of you and your liberal cred is not your priority today.
If you’ve never lived in a city or a time where walking on the sidewalk was potentially perilous, I understand that you are having to build a new set of skills here, but really, have you never?
Thank you, Dominic.
Just this afternoon, I was heading to the Columbia City farmers’ market. At the entrance I saw … THEM. I saw three vultures circling, then I stopped counting. I went somewhere else.
(Oddly enough, one of the somewheres else was a Stranger newsbox where I discovered your article. I will certainly cut out the convenient “NO” cards you have provided.)
(Also, sorry to any farmers or other vendors who didn’t get my money today, either. You were the real losers today.)
Thank you for these. I’m tired of smiling and saying no, or ignoring them, and being chased down the sidewalk anyway. If they’d like to wave pamphlets in my face as I walk to the grocery store, they can handle having one of these waved in their face.
During the last election I had some girl get all pushy with me about her cause. I was wearing a t-shirt from one of the many firefighter charity events I’ve been in. She got all chummy on how her parents were firefighters up north somewhere. Then she got all bitchy when I DARED to say that I would read up on her ballot measure online before signing. I’ll accept information if I choose to talk to a canvasser. But pull that pushy, indignant, down right hostile crap and I’m done. And try to play the ” my so-and-so is a firefighter” as a way of telling me I have to support your cause? Big F U.
Where’s Mark Sidran when we need him?
@14: This.
These cards are completely douchey, and about as passive-aggressive-Seattle a thing as I’ve ever seen. If you feel too important/busy to just say no, don’t say anything at all. Jesus.
@49. “Then she got all bitchy when I DARED to say that I would read up on her ballot measure online before signing”
Ohmigod they HATE that. Most won’t even give me their website when I ask. My standards for giving are pretty low with regard to street canvassers: I only expect them to be true supporters of their cause, as in genuine. I’m really very idealistic I guess.