Fact: Any breed of dog is capable of attacking a human. But 56 percent of all fatal dog attacks in the United States in the past five years were committed by pit bulls, according to a report released last week by the organization DogsBite.org. “During the 1980s and 1990s, fatal dog attacks averaged 17 per year. The death-by-dog-bite rate now is nearly double this amount at over 30 per year and largely due to pit bulls,” the group says. The tips below can be used against any breed of dog that happens to attack, up to and including the pit bull. (And to those who claim that humans’ anxiety about pit bull attacks is fostering an environment where pit bulls are subliminally encouraged to attack: I will not discuss matters of human culpability and mind-reading pit bulls because YOU ARE INSANE.)
“Trying to make friends with strange dogs is not a good idea,” says David Wiley, a Seattle dog behavioral therapist with BarkBusters.com. “Don’t try to pay attention to a dog in a car or behind a fence—even friendly dogs can be territorial.”
Never let yummy little kids—who make sudden, startling, unpredictable movements—anywhere near unleashed pit bulls.
If you find yourself on what feels like the verge of being attacked: “Don’t run—the movement can make the dog more excited and chase you. Stand completely still and cross your hands in front of you. Don’t make direct eye contact, which can come across as a challenge. Don’t turn your back, as it may embolden the dog. Just stand still. Once the dog loses interest, back away,” says Wiley.
So you’ve stood still and avoided eye contact, and still the dog in question shows signs of dangerous aggression. If you can get yourself somewhere higher than the ground, do it. If you can stand on a car, stand on a car. (You can worry about possibly denting a stranger’s hood and roof later—just get the fuck up there.)
If there’s no car or any other higher level handy, “don’t try to defend yourself, just protect yourself,” says Emily Keegans, behavior program manager at the Seattle Humane Society. “That basically means to get down on the ground, pull your knees to your chest, clasp your hands behind your neck, put your elbows around your face.” This play-dead-while-defending-your- tender-face-and-lap-bits approach is seconded by Wiley: “Stillness is the best thing. If a dog gets its teeth into you, fighting back can make things worse.”
There’s nothing as low drama as spraying the animal with a pain-inducing repellent. If your life regularly takes you through areas populated with dogs, get Mace (or pepper spray, or citronella). Do it now, because all other “fighting back” options are nauseatingly violent. Butch’s Gun Shop on Aurora Avenue sells a small container of Mace for around $12, while REI sells an eight-ounce “bear spray” for $30.
Is there something heavy you can grab? A rock, a brick, a boom box? If so, smash it against the dog’s head until it retreats or loses consciousness.
Or can you or someone else grab the attacking dog’s legs? If so, yank them apart to break the dog’s knees.
If that’s not possible, choke it. Don’t straddle the dog, but get into a position with the bony part of your forearm against its throat and put pressure on the windpipe “for at least 30 seconds until the dog is unconscious and has stopped struggling,” says self-defense specialist Charles Prosper.
Is choking not in the cards? Do you have something to wrap around your arm? Say, a jacket? If so, wrap it around your nondominant arm and let the dog bite it. Then fall on top of the fucker and dig your fingers into its eyes. Don’t stop until the dog’s a whimpering mass of blindness, then get yourself to safety. 
The follow-up: How to Defeat Someone Made Furious by ‘How to Defeat a Pit Bull with Your Bare Hands.’
http://www.pitbullsontheweb.com/petbull/…
Can you spot the pitbull? I wonder how many scary pitbulls are cases of mistaken identity….
Statistically there are more bites on average from breeds such as Chihuahuas. Do your homework before writing such nonsense.
If all these self-absorbed douchebags make good on their promise to quit reading the stranger then I’d say this article was a complete success.
@246 Exactly, the tone is so needlessly nasty. This isn’t written as an informative article- it’s written, and illustrated, like some kind of power/revenge fantasy.
I mean, look at that fourth illustration! Look at that fucker bleed! Yeah! That’s what it gets! We’re all sensitive, caring people worried about the children!
Pets are not people. Dog owners need to quit whining about their ‘fur children’ and recognize the pecking order.
Mutant wolverines
Humans
all the rest of God’s creation
I will eat a dog if necessary, but I will refrain from eating children. Additionally, I accept that a mutant wolverine may eat me.
“Stand completely still” is scary as fuck to a dog, just as it is to a human. Anyone who suddenly freezes looks crazy as shit.
I mean, I agree, don’t run, don’t stare, don’t flail your arms around — but try to act some semblance of natural.
You know, the way you would if you had a kilo of pot in your backpack and a cop appeared. Just be cool, dude.
If you are truly concerned about this, I suggest you conceal a pork chop in your pants. When danger approaches, grab your meat. Abuse the pooch with it as opportunity presents. Or fling.
Works great against hipsters, too. Especially when balanced on a Vespa.
PLUS, you don’t need a permit.
Duct tape? No. To have enough stopping power, it’s just too bulky.
Not everybody is suited for concealed carry, I realize. At the very least learn to say “Fuck You!” like a Chicagoan.
Great article. Not all breeds of dogs need to exist and pit bulls are on the top of that list.
ALL dog breeds are, obviously, the result of genetic engineering (it’s called selective breeding in this case). we created them, we can end them, forever.
well, I think it started out well with #1 and #2
pretty good eastern advice…avoid, get away
#4-#6 though possible and entertaining, would probably lead most to #3
#2 definitely the best idea esp. for children
This was a funny article. Too bad other people don’t have a sense of humor.
wow, this was the most ignorant article i’ve ever read from The Stranger. The comments take it a step further.
this is very ignorant, pit bulls are actually some of the sweetest most loyal dogs. its not in the dogs nature to be aggressive it is the abuse that makes them that way. the most common dog bites are actually by smaller dogs, they just never get reported.
http://www.kitsap-humane.org/truth-about…
i cant believe that the stranger would be so ignorant.
I lost a lot of respect for STRANGER reading this article. What uninformed, un-dog educated fool was able to publish this. The information on self defense is consistent with any breed- including crack-flustered vagrants and punks. This proves that people that do not understand dogs (including dick-thugs or specific authors of the stranger) should not include themselves with the world of dogs.
Almost sadder, but not, “The Stranger” has some respect to earn back.
-Adamcan
@ #239
“This is a sad display of pure ignorance. IT IS THE OWNERS TO BLAME, NOT THE ANIMALS. I own two wonderfully behaved pit bulls. I also have three children under the age of 10 you LOVE and ADORE those dogs.”
Who fucking cares who’s fault it is? What does that even have to do with anything? If a Pit Bull or any breed of dog attacks unprovoked, kill the dog if possible & sue the owner. & yes, i have dogs. If they attacked someone unprovoked, they would be put down, as simple as that.
These pussies trying to muddy the water with “who’s fault it is” or “what breed is worse” are missing the point. We are the ones with the opposable thumbs, at the top of the food chain. If you don’t like that, move the fuck away from other people with your dog & do the rest of us a favor.
Also,if you are stupid enough to have a pit bull around small children you deserve what will probably happen to them, but the kids don’t! You are a selfish ass!
I carry a lock blade knife that is both legal and very very sharp, and will be well within my rights if I have to gut your precious sweet pit bull like a fish if it attacks me or anybody else.
A pointless, fear-mongering article sponsored and written by a bitch. I’ve worked as a driver/delivery boy and have been attacked by dogs multiple times, but never a pit.
If you don’t carry any sort of weapon and no blunt object is within reach, just jam your hand down it’s throat. Never met a dog that liked choking on a hand.
this article is disgusting…are you advocating this as a sport? is this supposed to be funny?
the real problem with pit bulls, and the reason attacks are on the rise is:
1 – people pay more attention to their attacks…golden retriever attacks don’t make the 11 o’clock news.
2 – the “thug life” motherfuckers who own them don’t know how to handle the animal they got. let’s have an article on how to strangle one of them for bad pet rearing.
everything in this article is helpful to defend yourself from an attack from any kind of damn dog. labs, retrievers, billy goats, terriers. and so on.
if you have a strong arm—remember, pits are the strongest dog pound for pound that exists (high pain threshold too)—if youre not strong enough, youre just gonna piss it off—punch it in the top of its head. if it goes down, stomp on its chest. this last action will kill it. remember, it tried to kill you.
File complaints against the Stranger with the Washington Attorney Generals office for inciting violence and animal cruelty. Nuke the fuckers.
Oh, to add one more thing, Charlie Prostrate the Self Defense Specialist who is quoted in the fucking story ? Charlie is a joke, its most likely Charlie has never really even been in a good fight. If a doggie wants to take you out ? it will happen so quick you would not have a chance to do anything but curl up and protect yourself. Macing a dog will only piss it off more, trying to gouge it eyes out ? only a stupid idiot would suggest that ? GOOD WAY TO LOSE fingers, yes lets stick our fingers near an attacking dogs head. In fact I hope the piece of sh%&t that wrote the sick story uses the methods he defined if he is attacked by a dog. As for pitbulls and dogsbite.org (lol!) Coleen Lynne who created that blog ? Claims she was attacked by a pitbull, it never happened and her data is manipulated, she is racist.
It is sad to see such a cool rag as The Stranger fall prey to the bad side of animal rights. Yes there are 2 sides to animal rights, those who hate dogs, actually who hate animals period, that would be the PETA type, then there is the good side, the serious mother fuckers who get off on finding people who abuse animals and use the some of the tatcis described above on the humans animal abuses. Is the reporter that wrote this story an animal abuser ??? What does everyone think ????
Really, David? Is this a belated April Fool’s piece? It kind of made me sick reading it, but I also know that you have a dog that you fawn over and I can’t see you seriously promoting any of the violence this little number promotes. Color me bemused.
Pit defenders really need to get a clue. My exboyfriend had a pit, he was a good owner. Never beat it, trained it well, raised that psychotic thing as well as any dog owner.
It was fine until it was about 5 years old. Super cuddly, sweet, well mannered dog. At 5 it started to lose it. One day it tore into my dog (a dog it had been friends with for years) for absolutely NO reason. There was no aggression on the part of my shepard mix. It tore her belly completely open and would have killed her if there weren’t 3 people to pull her off. I broke up with him because he refused to get rid of it and I figured that dog would someday turn on me.
Low and behold, within a year, his dog killed his roomates dog, and removed my exboyfriends thumb for him.
Lovely breed. Simply lovely.
Of all the dogs that I’ve ever met, chihuahuas are the nastiest little fuckers around and the only breed who I have consistently run into who are aggressive fear biters. I think we should ban those little beaners instead.
way to further the negative & b.s. stigma attachedto pit bulls. this article title sucks & it panders to people easily swayed by shock journalism.
@ 281
That can happen with ANY dog. That is a DOG thing, not a pit bull thing. You are the one that needs to get a clue.
someone in Arlington read this
Dog is found fatally beaten
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/2010040…
Haters everywhere we go. Haters haters haters..haters everywhere we go! I know Betty and she’s awesome! Fuck you haters. I laugh my ass of when I read comments from people dissing pitbulls. these dogs have more love in their heart than any dumbass hating on pitbulls. Unconditional love to their ownerband the people that show them love. Maybe we should ban dumbass people who have nothing better to do but to google ‘pitbulls suck’. Fuck….you……haters….
Not a reactionary comment, just a note to let you know that it’s actually reactionaries like yourself who doom the breed. I’ve been bitten by plenty of children, but never a pit bull.
This article is pathetic and David Schmader should be fired from The Stranger for writing it. Knowing how to defend yourself from an aggressive dog (or any animal/human for that matter) is definitely a good thing, especially in a city like Seattle where dogs out-populate kids by 46%. HOWEVER, the way this article was written was disgusting and down right offensive, and this is coming from a non-pit bull owner. Not only was it wrong to target a specific breed of dog, but the great detail in which David describes the various ways to defeat an angry dog is quite honestly disturbing. Would everything he mentioned in this article probably work to defend yourself? Yes in theory. But the way in which the article is written is the worst part of all. It’s almost as if David Schmader (the amazing author of this lovely article) has a personal vendetta out for dogs (pit bulls). It’s like his entire family tree got wiped off the face of the earth by viscous man-killing K-nines and now he’s all alone, left to fend for himself. In any case, it looks like David Shmader had a bit too much time on his hands this week and decided to write a graphically illustrated novel on how to get fired from a job he shouldn’t of had in the first place.
-Ian
from
FAINTLY
http://www.faintlyband.com
Huh? You needed more than the first line? Any breed of dog is capable of attacking a human. There were a whopping 23 fatal dog attacks in 2008. In the entire nation. Any idea how many stupid human attacks there were in the same year. Can we just cut this out? The dog isn’t the problem. It’s crappy, criminal and lazy owners. EVERY animal needs training. Including the nasty little chihuahua next door that continuously bites my ankle when I step outside. Understand…the activists get out of hand because the discrimination is out of hand. I own a gentle, loving, sweet pit bull…trained…and on his way to becoming a therapy dog. But try finding a place to live. All of this vehemence on both sides is ludicrous. Just train your dogs people!
Not to be uppity, but Mace isn’t necessarily “Bare-Handed” is it?
I’m not even gonna touch the fact that this article targets one breed. That alone makes it ridiculous.
But as a very experienced dog handler, I can tell you this…if you follow most of the adversarial advice of this article with any dog over 35 lbs you are going to get hurt, badly.
When you try to bash the dog’s head in with an object, it’s going to whip around and latch onto your flailing arm.
While you are choking the dog it’s going to bunny-kick with it’s claws, and since dogs have strong neck and shoulder muscles (hello, carnivore??!!) your arm will be pushed back like a twig and the dog’s most likely going to bite you in the face since it will be close enough.
Also, since you’ve now shown yourself a threat it will move faster and be fueled by fear and adrenaline. Good fucking luck, buddy.
If you want to avoid dog attacks, carry a good defense spray, STOP JOGGING when you see a loose dog, leave the dog alone, and call ANIMAL CONTROL. Follow up and make sure the owners who are too stupid or careless to contain their ward are charged appropriately.
And first and foremost, stop acting like a scared little girl and suck it up. Dogs have brains the size of lemons. If you can’t outsmart one, what does that say about you?
The unleashed and unattended attack animal that will face me down will be owned–if at all–by the most uneducated or irresponsible owners possible.
To the delusional: Fuck you. If we’re serious about owner responsibility, let’s jail them for their dogs’ attacks on man and beast. We’d see some training then.
Do not defend these owners. Do not blame me for defending myself. And if some wild dog faces me, beyond all power but mine, God help it, for it will die.
Great article.
To all of you who say you have a great pit bull – sweetest dog – the rest of the world is uneducated… yadda yadda…
You say it because your pit hasn’t mauled another dog or person…YET.
Do you think the owners of dogs who finally maul someone say “Oh yeah, it’s no surprise, he always does that.” ?
http://www.cdapress.com/news/local_news/…
I own a lovely Glock 19. It is the sweetest, most mild mannered handgun. We often go to the gun park and spend quality time together. It has never harmed a person. I think I’ll leave it in the park so it can play with the kids.
Powerful dogs are dangerous, regardless of how well they are trained. They need to be supervised, especially around children and those less familiar with animals.
Big mean farm dogs where the rule where I grew up, and learning how to be careful around them was one of the first things we learned. And if a dog bit a person or got into the livestock they were shot by the owner.
Can you please write an article about how to defend yourself against all the gay people in the world while you are writing stupid articles that discriminate…all their bright colors & fancy hair is so frightening. The more The Stranger publish’s crap like this…the closer I am to going to every Stranger distribution box on the streets every thursday night, & throwing every paper in them in the garbge…not the recycling. Focusing the article on Pit Bulls instead of just dogs is so pathetic. Just as pathetic as being racist or homophobic.
Genetics, Genetics, Genetics! Pit Bull proponents are in denile of this breed’s original purpose: To kill BEARS and BULLS gladiator style. This debate shouldn’t be based on emotions but rather statistics and facts.
peet bool……tear eyerr!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdRPRvhXS…
215 comments was where i gave up. my responses:
1. you definitely aim to annoy. says something abt you. i should know. i started getting like that on my blog. i’m not posting any more because i was being as obnoxious as those i hate.
2. the article was funny as was it’s followup masterbatory response. doesn’t mean either are good articles. here’s where independent thought on the reader’s part is vital.
3. you managed to get what you sought: polarized obnoxious snapping humans.
4. these advise tips would do nothing at all to actually save me from one of these dogs if it was of the attack variety.
i had a “girlfriend” with some kind of pit-mix. it was a wussy farting doofus that liked people & other animals. it had been a bait dog in a fighting ring broken up by police. she took the dog in after a cop who was part of breaking the fight ring had him a while. he was loathe to give him out but my ex is a good responsible owner & keeps him controlled at all times just out of precaution. i’ve pet this creature up close. he stayed in my house & sniffed my cats. he gassed us w/his farts whenwe had sex, ate, slept, walked… i’ve walked him. if he had chosen to, he could have killed me & nothing short of a lucky eye gouge would have saved me. to badly quote my ex ff, his head is basically a battering ram. his jaws are horse-sized & muscular like a horse’s hind legs. his neck cannot be strangled because it’s too thick for most any human. he’s just an unlucky victim (scars everywhere) of asshole humans that got lucky in the end because there were non-assholes willing to take him in & be responsible for him in the demanding ways he needs. not aggressive but definitely needy. my ex chose well & got lucky too. a dog his size in full health would not be stopped by any of your tips because the animal exceeds human tolerances in most cases (i’m average; not small or huge). as i read your amusing articles i just assumed them to be jokes as my vivid memory of this dog & his owner’s friends’ dog flashed in my head as i read each tip, just finding them all terribly unlikely, especially strangulation or windpipe crushing. this dog had bad legs, so i don’t know about that…
you only suceeded in being a troll & amusing people who like trolls. you didn’t provide workable advise. if all you write is stuff like this, you’re a known entity. but a casual reader might mistake this article for useful info & be more likely to allow a confrontation thinking they are “armed” with your tips. that’s a disservice.
everyone: it’s the dog BECAUSE it’s the owners. simple. your bipolar b&w responses are totally what this guy wanted & you gave it to him. some good responses among you but mostly personal agendas & ego. the author won.
oh, i came here thru Dan’s reference on slapnose for his “slog” blog. now i know what this place is & i won’t be a returning reader to the rest of this site. it’s tiresome & trollish. Dan’s stuff was at least recognizable for being news commentary entertainment. this dog thing… bah. bait. not interested in more.
Lol @ 297’s logic.
You lost me as soon as you quoted “dogsbite.org.” That website is the “brainchild” of a nutsy woman who was badly attacked by a dog and so now makes it her life’s work to try to get pitbulls banned. (Apparently, she doesn’t ever look at the statistics that say that the number of serious dogbites across the US have decreased in the last 20 years and that the most “dangerous” dog changes every decade or so, depending on what kind of dogs thugs are favoring lately.)
Never mind that those who disagree with her include the American Veterinary Medical Association, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the National Animal Control Association, and every other group I know of. The only people on “dogsbite”‘s side are politicians who prefer to get lots of public attention without doing any research.
The #1 thing you can do to prevent getting attacked by vicious dogs: Make sure your locality has a leash law and enforces it. All of you folks who are whining about loose dogs chasing you – are you persistently contacting your local animal control when you see this? If not, I’d appreciate your keeping your mouths shut until such time that you are willing to take constructive action.
Which breed is a ‘pit bull’ again, because – and correct me if I’m wrong, but ‘pit pull’ is a type of dog, encompassing a number of specific breeds. I’m also curious as to how it has come to have such a bad reputation? For a dog bred to fight and kill other dogs, it seems a strange behavior – biting humans – to be genetically imprinted on the animal. Perhaps, and I’m stretching here, the behavior of the owner has more to do with the dogs behavior. Huskies bite, with alarming frequency, and yet…there isn’t a lot of noise being made about banning them. Or golden retrievers, who – due to their popularity are involved in more bites. I understand the article is concerned with ‘not being killed by a dog’. But, if only 33 fatalities were recorded in 2007 then I’m not concerned. 33 out of 300 million people? Seriously? In the same year about 16000 people died from using aspirin. Can we get an article on how to defeat a pharmacist with a BOGO sale on Bayer?
Quit worrying people about dog attacks. All you’re doing is foisting responsibility onto the dog, when the owner is the one who has the control. And if the owner doesn’t have control? Slap the fucker. The dog will probably come down on your side.
Fuck you you fucking piece of shit. You should fucking go kill yourself you cocksucker. Get educated on the topic before you write an article on it. Dumb fuck.
Come on people…why are you attacking the author because he has a view on Pit bulls? I just witnessed a Pit bull rip a small dog out of a woman’s arms and shred it. Another friend underwent chemo and a Pit bull attacked her before her reconstructive Barbie boobs had a chance to gel. The vet said it was because the dog could smell the poison in her. I’m not saying ban Pits but the owner should take full responsibility and expect some pretty harsh punishment if something happens. That’s fair game.It should be the same for any breed that decides to make lunch meat out of another.
This article is not animal abuse. This article is not a hate letter to pit bulls. This article is not a big letter telling people that suddenly it’s okay to “kick the shit” out of pit bulls. This article is an article on self-defense. Nothing more or less. It deals not just with pit bulls, but with all attacking dogs, and it says so right in the article. Pit bulls, again, are statistically- wait, why the fuck am I reiterating what the article has already said?
People thinking that this is appalling: Get attacked by a pit bull sometime and see if you:
A) Defend yourself from the dog instinctively so the dog doesn’t tear your internal organs out,
B) Attempt to find the dog’s owner to deliver a stern talking-to about taking proper care of pets, all while your arm is being ripped off, or
C) Write a strongly-worded letter to The Stranger telling them that in fact you are enjoying the experience of having your nutsack chewed up by a fucking PITT BULL.
This article is bullshit. Cops have beaten pitbulls with TIRE IRONS and it has done NOTHING – 3 rounds from a Glock .9mm finally put it down. 3 rounds!
You cannot, repeat, cannot beat a pitbull or other large animal as a human. And forget about the pathetic owner being able to control it. They are either weak ass crackers who barely have the strength to hold up their lattes for extended periods, or wankster ass wannabe’s who don’t give a SHIT about you anyway, and will most likely find your impending demise funny, and somewhat sexually stimulating.
The only solution is superior attacking force ala a gun. Carry a gun you fucking liberal douchebags and intersperse you loads between a hollow point and a shotshell load like the Glaser rounds. When nutso potentially LEATHAL ANIMAL approaches, steady aim for center mass of the stupid animal (that’s right, read it again shitstick libtard, ANIMAL) and blast away. Once the threat has been eliminated be prepared to be assaulted by whankster Freemont / Queen Anne types who elevate ANIMALS to the status of people. You’ll need a lawyer.
Lastly, to all the gayass Seattle dog owners out there being towed around by a giant rodent while carrying its bag of steaming shit, grow up and have a fucking kid already you miserable DINKs.
PS. Nothing beats a pump .12 gauge shotty but it’s touch to carry one around and not get hassled by “the man”.
The funny thing is they say 56% of attacks is by pit bulls, but what is considered a pit bull? I would like for the writer of this article to complete this in less than 3 tries for me. To show how ignorant all of you are. PUNISH THE DEED, NOT THE BREED!!!!
HERE YA GUYS GO TRY IT OUT http://www.pitbullsontheweb.com/petbull/…
The Seattle Humane Society agreed to be interviewed for the story, and we are very sorry we did. What follows is our letter to the editor:
Dear Mr. Frizzelle,
As a former journalist, I always try to assist writers seeking information from the Seattle Humane Society on animal welfare issues. When David Schmader called wanting expert information on protecting oneself during a dog attack, our animal behavior manager Emily Keegans provided him with important information about an important issue.
We’re very disappointed in the focus of this story and sorry that we agreed to be quoted. Schmader was intentionally dishonest, saying he was a reporter writing a news story. If this was intended to be farcical, it was offensive and poorly done. Worse yet, it didn’t really address this serious issue in a meaningful way.
You no longer have our respect as a credible news source. Sorry.
Rhonda Manville
Rhonda Manville
Director of Marketing
Seattle Humane Society
Tel: (425) 274-1513