I know that title sounds impossibly ambitious, but someone with a pretty irritating voice has managed to actually fit all 900,000 major flaws with the first Star Wars prequel into a scant 70 minutes!
Here’s part 1:
The weird voice thing is annoying, and the bizarre I’m-really-a-serial-killer subplot could be dropped without losing anything, but it’s worth it. I had forgotten just how horrible and disappointing that movie really was.
Here’s parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7, or you can find them all embedded on one page here.
In brief: George Lucas.
@1 – Yes, exactly, but it’s worth dissecting further. The last piece has some clips from the making-of documentary that pretty much prove that Lucas eventually knew it was a mess, and that everyone around him knew long before he did.
Those facts in no way explain Episodes II & III, of course.
Even worse was SW2, or what I subtitled “The Blue Lagoon In Outer Space”. Lucas displayed his peddie instincts in full force on that one…
I saw this this weekend and just planned on watching part 1, but got sucked into them all (chalk it up to Saturday laziness and a mild hangover). I thought for sure I wouldn’t make it past 2 minutes with that annoying voice, but I got over it.
If you don’t want to devote 70 minutes to this, the first one is absolutely the best — I loved the bit at the end interviewing people about the characters. But the 6th and 7th are pretty good too — the footage of Lucas and the producers watching the first cut is really interesting. It’s like they knew how terrible it was, but they couldn’t change it…
i loved this…but yeah, the serial killer subplot just had me rolling my eyes. but i loved his subtle references to toher things. The various mispronounced items and Charlie and Willy Wonka hugging
Awesome.
breaking it down like that makes me think humans are lame and really really really like the same stories over and over again….that’s really depressing.
My single biggest complaint was the lame attempts at making Episode I match up with facts already establishes in the original trilogy.
For example, Anakin had to be an excellent pilot when he met Obi Wan. So what does Lucas do? Make an eight year old an excellent pilot. Beyond stupid.
It’s also astonishing how much worse Lucas has gotten at directing actors. In the original trilogy, everyone except Hamill did okay for the most part. In the prequels, everyone except Neeson fucking sucked.
I haven’t even seen the new episodes more than two or three times…..but these people he is interviewing in the first section trying to describe the character’s characteristics seem like they are feigning stupidity….either that or the film isn’t fresh on their minds. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I agree with this 95%…..but ya know….
Actually, McDiarmid was also good, but he’d already established that character, so he doesn’t count.
Also, though he may be correct, the second section of the 7 part series sounds like something a teabagger/Republican would say about the US government…..I want it simple….I want a bad guy…..I do not care about the senate or politics or any details for this matter…..make it really really really simple, so simple a child could understand it…
I tried, but I only made it about 40 seconds in. The voice is too stupid.
@7, 9–Regarding the plot he says “this of course doesn’t apply to every movie” and lists a ton of directors known for non-traditional plots.
Agreed with Julie, part one of the review is the best. Describe Princess Amidala: “She’s kind of normal I guess…”
The only good thing in it is Jar Jar.
@11: Lucas was simultaneously making the claim that the movie was for kids (justifying Jar Jar), while making a confusing plot that doesn’t make any sense at all.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the details – it’s that none existed. What exactly was the reason the Trade Federation aligned itself with mystery hologram, again? Why were the space supplies so important that the people of Naboo were willing to go to war? Why didn’t the senate believe that there was a real threat after sending Jedi and having them come back after numerous attempts on their lives?
Once you get passed the annoying voice, it was really well done. I like how it articulated more than just the horrible plot holes in the movie, but also how the archetype of the movie was missing everything that made New Hope a good movie.
I don’t really need to see this to remember how much this movie sucked. Fuck it was bad. Really, really fucking bad. And I was sooo looking forward to it.
But the next 2 sequels blew dog too. Maybe not as much as 1, but they still sucked. The whole Lake Como romance interlude in 3 was beyond cringe territory. It was stab-yourself-in-the-leg-with-a-fork-to-take-your-mind-off-the-patent-embarrassment-of-the-on-screen-farce territory. It was like the early scenes in a 70’s porno that you fast forward through to get the the nasty bits.
And I agree with @8. All good actors: Ewen MacGregor for one is a legend, but they all sucked in those movies. WTF?
Murder jokes aside, I really enjoyed hearing this guy riff on what made the originals great…ie the light saber duels is not really about the characters but instead a way to show emotions of the characters.
TPM is just a goddamn mess. The only one that is watchable is ROTS, and that one is essentially two hours of ships taking off and landing.
The shot at 7 minutes 0 seconds in Part 2 of this is really fun.
All the prequels were beyond terrible, but IMO #3 was the worst. It always surprised me that most people seem to think that it was the least bad. So bad it made you think you were taking crazy pills, or living in the idiocracy universe.
ok, I take it back, after watching all 7 parts this is the best review I have ever watched…..
thanks for sharing Anthony!
14: true. i actually had jar jar tattooed on my ex girlfriend
@22: Did she press charges?
The murder/killing subplot is the Jar Jar of his review.
“TPM” is almost the newest film I’ve seen in a theater–“War of the Worlds” and “Arlington Road” I think are the other two I’ve seen since 2000–so I was kind of, “Wow! It’s really neat what they can do with movies these days, ain’t it?” But yeah, it really wasn’t very good, I guess. Like EVERY OTHER “STAR WARS” MOVIE!!
I’ve never seen Stars Wars Episode 1 (or 2, or 3). So it stunk, did it? A real shame.
Best short review I’ve ever heard of The Phanton Menace–“C-span in space”
It was only “horrible and disappointing” because people walked into the theater with ridiculous expectations. I went in with no expectations and liked it.